35 weeks pregnant, how to put baby up for adoption

[solosunflower]

As the title says really, how would I start this process?

Fabulous news, OP, many congrats to you and your baby
Honestly, as PP have said, it will get better
Having a newborn is completely discombobulating however much they're loved
Don't rush things, you've already come so far since your 1st post on here xxxx

Congratulations op. Keep talking to us on here. There are lots of people who are lonely each evening, keep posting on a variety of threads and start going to groups and you may meet some new friends.

Amazing OP. You should be proud of yourself. Agree with others do keep posting. I have found mumsnet so very very helpful with my long days, my questions and my now 20 week old DC.

Are you still having contact with the health visitors since going home? I know this varies location to location.

Congratulations on your new baby ♥️ sending good wishes from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Ahhhh, HUGE congratulations @solosunflower! It sounds like you were brilliant, really, really well done you!

Don't worry about telling/seeing other people at the moment, just focus on you and your DS and stay in that little bubble just the two of you for as long as you would like.

Wow, you’re doing amazingly well, OP. Keep coming back to us and try to go for a short walk each day - it really does lift your spirits.

Congratulations I wish you and your new baby a happy and healthy life together ❤️

Warmest congratulations! And huge respect. You sound very self-reflective, focused and calm amid a really tricky situation. I'll be rooting for you.

congrats i once knew someone in your position she did not want her baby at the time she was a mess 26 years later shes so happy she kept him she brought him up her self single handed she cut all toxic people off moved away told no one she said looking at him the first time changed every thing .

Oh congratulations, solosunflower!
You said that your work colleagues were your support network?
Can you let some close ones visit for an hour? You might find it really lifts you.
Sending very best wishes to you and sunflower junior.🌻

Congratulations OP, you're doing so well with all these feelings going round but you can do it xx

Can your midwives put you in contact with the perinatal team? They could really help you with phone calls and visits. Also are you in a Flying start/Sure start area? I found Flying start in Wales really amazing with my first born.

Also ask your health visitor for mum and baby groups, they were my lifeline for trying to feel human and just to chat to people, if I was having a really crappy day it made all the difference just spending an hour with some mums.

Use all these resources and don't be afraid to ask for help x

Many congratulations @solosunflower
My DD’s biological father left me when I was 5 months pregnant, she has never met him.
I wish you all the good things. Take each day as it comes and love your baby and give yourself permission to be the mum you want to be.
You have done so well. Be proud of yourself.

Hello new mum 👋
Congratulations.. a perfect baby boy you say?
Home alone with baby? Wow, you really are amazing. I'm thinking of you and willing you with all God's love. Enjoy it all, because as EVERYONE says, it's all over in a flash and before you know it he'll be picking you up from Asda. Obviously you're in the thick of it now though. Rooting for you both. Xxx

Congratulations @solosunflower so glad you're healing well and feeling better about your situation. Remember we ALL feel the same about the long days initially, and having a partner doesn't necessarily change that. Just look after yourself and your beautiful boy, leave the housework etc and soak it all up, it does get easier in a lot of ways each day 💐

Congratulations on your new baby OP. I hope you're both doing well.

It's totally your decision how much involvement (if any) your mother has in your baby's life. It's not her decision at all.

Would you like a pram suit? I have one I was about to donate to the charity shop. I'm happy to send it to you instead if you think it'll be useful for the colder days (I will pay the postage). PM me an address where I can send it if you're interested. It's white with a brown teddy bear on the front.

Congratulations OP! 💐

I would just encourage you to put down whatever boundaries you need to with your mum, to help you to feel safe. Your MH is the priority. Pushy, domineering people don't like it when people lay down and enforce boundaries, but they get used to it.

Congrats on the birth of your baby boy! Sounds like you absolutely smashed it mama!

How is feeding going? Has your midwife been helpful? If you have any concerns about the latch defo seek help sooner rather than later, I wish I had of.

Beware of your mum and make sure you have strong boundaries in place.

All I can say is keep it simple daily. When you're ready try to get out daily, and give yourself little treats like a cheese toastie, coffee or glass of wine in the sun. My top tip: Never leave the house without a change of clothes for baby as the Poonamis can really catch you out. And always carry water and a snack for you, it's thirsty work!

Baby massage is great for bonding and creating a routine after bath / before bed. Stock up on Infacol and gripe water just in case colic strikes.

In a few weeks, around 6/7 o'clock is witching hour, it's normal. Baby will change mood completely, time dim lights, turn the sound down, feed to sleep, make cosy and pop into Moses basket (if he'll let you).

Xx

Aaah huge congrats OP! I posted upthread - I was a single mum to twins and the bio father showed zero interest. They’re now 13 yrs old and he’s never met them, never even messaged me about them.

There will be days that are hard and you might feel lonely sometimes, especially while your baby is tiny. But it gets easier as you start to make mum friends. And honestly, I know this isn’t something you’re supposed to say but it’s wonderful raising your baby without having to worry about getting someone else’s input first! Choose the name you like, you decide how to raise them - as the years pass you don’t have to deal with parenting conflict - you get to decide how your child is raised.

I’m now with a lovely man who my children adore. But they’re my children, and I am so happy that I raised them in exactly the way I wanted. You often see parenting conflicts posted on here - I haven’t had to worry about any of that!

I just wanted to share a different view of single parenting - it can be hard of course but for me, it was actually pretty amazing too ❤️

Congratulations! If you feel up to it, try to go to some baby groups. I met friends at those who were a huge support. xx

@solosunflower
How are you and Seeding today?
Spring is a lovely time to have a baby good weather for getting out for a walk.

Hope you're both doing well. As exhausted as you must be, remember to take lots of photos. The wee guy will grow so fast at this stage and it will all pass in a fuzzy sleepy haze.

Awwww, congratulations on the birth of your perfect baby boy, @solosunflower !! Sounds like a smooth birth and recovery - hopefully you're feeling confident about bonding with your little guy. Just take it easy and enjoy nesting in your cozy bubble. Don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything.

Even for those of us with partners / husbands, the weeks and months at home with a newborn can be very lonely indeed. When you feel ready, do try and make it along to mum and baby groups - ask your midwife / health visitor about what's on offer.

Our community midwives run a weekly drop-in coffee / baby weighing / chat session in a local church hall. It was a lifesaver for me and I made some lovely friends - three of us are still in touch, 14 years on! Hopefully there's something similar where you live.

Tread carefully with letting your mother get involved. YOU get to decide how much she is a part of your and your baby's life. And only if she has something positive to bring to it.

Wishing you the very best

Congratulations! It’s amazing how time passes. My son will be 2 in a few months. It gets much easier and it’s amazing to see how they develop, learn and grow.

Hello all.

Little update. Not going to lie, it is very tough doing every alone, responding to every cry etc. I can't see me meeting up with anyone, or attending groups, for a while.

I'm feeling a bit like I'm doing things wrong. I read about sleep routines, naps etc for babies a few weeks old. Mine is one week old tomorrow. We have no routine. I respond to every need when required. He does not sleep at all in the night. We feed constantly and I usually read or watch some on my laptop. I spoke to the midwife and she said this is normal. Even in the day, the gaps between feeds are short. Definitely nothing like two hours, which seems to be the guidance on newborns. From 6 am til 9/10 am we co-sleep. Baby will not sleep in co-sleep cot yet, so midwife showed me a safe way to co-sleep in bed. From 10 am baby naps more, but still lots of feeds. I try to catch a bath and do some washing whilst he sleeps. That is pretty much my day!

That sounds very normal and just like my DC as newborns. We didn't have a routine for months, just feed, slept and sometimes went out together.
The pair of you will find your own rhythm.