35 weeks pregnant, how to put baby up for adoption

[solosunflower]

As the title says really, how would I start this process?

I understand people advising caution OP, obviously sensible. I feel the fact that he wants to meet as friends should be fine and might be nice. I sense you're pretty clued up, though vulnerable too, and would be able to shut down further contact with him if you didn't want it, or carry on seeing each other as friends and see what happens.
It may be a lack of confidence plus anxiety that makes you extra cautious, very understandable.
Still rooting for you

@winningeasy I shall search for the topic you refer to. It is cathartic to talk these things through, especially with others who understand. I am finding a fair few baby groups around. I'm hoping I can make lasting connections somehow.

The father will not be going on the birth certificate. There is absolutely no point. We've only spoken once in 9 months and that was to close the door on me.

I did meet for the Costa drink. I didn't enjoy myself, if I'm honest. I don't think I got a word in edge ways the entire time.

@solosunflower (I have been following the thread and commenting occasionally. I am not sure how it works in your area but in mine we have children’s centres that offer free council run baby classes. They’re great!! I’ve found the same women go every week and we all look forward to meeting again. They’ve all been down to earth and not clicky. Worth researching or asking your midwife if you a local children’s centre? I didn’t start going until after the newborn phase.

Glad you got yourself out the house for Costa but sorry you couldn’t get a word in edge ways. Some people just talk too much. Well done for trying!!

Hi O.P.
Most libraries do a rhyme time session weekly, all free, it is wonderful for the babies and toddlers.
Also I completely understand about wanting to avoid churches but please don't rule out the church playgroups, I found them the most welcoming and loveliest! No mention of religion AT ALL. In one of the groups whoever wanted to hear a Bible story could go into another room and listen but only a handful would go as all the kids would rather stay playing with the toys!
Please do give them a try!!!

Well done for trying, and enduring, the meet up! Another decision made!

Look at your local library to see if they offer any baby groups/activities, we have baby sensory and rhyme time sessions at ours

I second the baby groups in churches, they are amazing and always a hot cup of coffee or tea, and snacks for the kids. They definitely don't mind if you're not religious either. There's one I go to where they sing one very uptempo semi religious song at the end which more funny and uplifting than anything. And another they gave out a book about Easter which had some religious stuff in it but it was for kids, up to you if you'd show it but they will prob just learn about it all in R.E. in future anyway so I don't really mind x

Hello!
Thank you for all the suggestions.
Yes it was a shame about Costa. He was very kind towards me, so I should take positives from the experience.
I take onboard the comments about the baby groups in churches. There are some lovely churches near me, and I will do a google search now to see what comes up regarding mum and baby groups.

I've been preoccupied by work the last few days. It's been incredibly busy and I have enjoyed myself. There has been a lot of baby talk, which admittedly I've not enjoyed as much, but I do understand people mean well and that it comes from a place of kindness!

People around you will be excited for you. A new baby is special. When do you stop work?

Saturday us my last shift! That will bring on a new challenge!

Make sure you keep in touch with your closest colleagues.
And I'm sure they'll love a peek when you are feeling up to visiting work.

Hello again! Baby was born on Thursday at 2.08am. Not that many hours after I left work. It was a fast birth, as I arrived on the maternity ward fully dilated with me feeling ready to push out baby's head. Once on the bed I had gas and air, as well as being cut because baby's shoulder was stuck. After that only a few pushes and he was out. He is absolutely perfect and physically I'm healing really, really fast. I have seen my mother on a few occasions since the birth, which is difficult. She now wants involvement in baby's life. I stayed a few extra nights in hospital because I felt safe away from the world and it was good to learn about feeding.

I'm home now. We're doing well with feeding. I just feel so alone without a partner. The days are so long.

@solosunflower

Congratulations! Thank you for letting us know. I was thinking about you today.

When you have recovered you will be able to get and about and start making some mum friends. Once you get into a routine things will feel a lot different.

tread carefully with your mum.

Enjoy your precious little boy.

Congratulations!

The first few days / weeks are so strange emotionally and you just have to hang in there. Try and get along to some baby groups when you're ready. Some are lovely and some are cliquey. In my experience church ones are the best and there is always someone to speak to.

Also look at things like baby massage or little activities. I did this kind of thing in the early days just to get out with the baby and break the day up.

Congratulations 🎊
Glad the birth went well and your baby boy is safely in your arms.

I can imagine the days are long. As I said before keep an eye out for baby groups, Inc any breastfeeding support groups, looking around for different groups, libraries, community centres, buggy walks and in a few months baby swimming.

Depending on your area you'll probably be able to find somewhere community run, every day Mon-Fri that's fairly cheap.
I avoided the expensive stuff like Baby Sensory and WaterBabies.

It will be more difficult to find stuff at the weekend, but even getting out for a walk or doing your weekly shopping will help break the day up.

Congratulations, wishing you both a very happy and healthy life together ❤️❤️❤️

@Ted27

Thank you. I don't know what to do about my mother.

I have work friends desperate to meet him; it does feel too soon. I feel fantastic in my body compared to how miserable the heartburn had made me.

@Zonder Was you a lone parent too?

The father doesn't know. I have know why of letting him know unless I put a note through the door, which makes me feel angry because his son is worth more.

Please don’t worry about letting the biological father know, just concentrate on you and you beautiful new baby x

Thank you @Sugarfree23 @FrenchieF

I have my AAT level 2 qualification I can be working on. I don't know why, but I'm struggling to get back into studying again. I don't actually think it's the pregnancy. I think the issue is more I've not studied in so long. I need to be strict with myself.

I'm confident I'll find some groups. I just really miss seeing someone in an evening and having a giggle. I can't really do much at the moment because baby wants to feed all day.

@FrenchieF He won't care and I can't get my head around why not.

I know it’s so hard understand how he doesn’t feel the way you do about your new baby.
im so sorry you have to go through this alone but honestly its for the best. You can do it just as you choose without any bad influences.

lots of men walk away from their biological children and lots of mum step up and are everything the child needs ❤️

Oh OP you should feel so bloody proud of yourself, you're doing so well! Congratulations on the arrival of your little one

Congratulations OP! You should be so proud of yourself and we are all here for you virtually whenever you need ❤️

Congratulations OP ! You're doing an amazing job, you should be super proud of yourself.