Due October 2023 - thread 3

[Soda123x]

Hi everyone the thread seemed to fill up fast.
Here's a new one to keep us going ❤ xx

Currently 6+2 think due 23rd October #2
No major symptoms apart from tonight I have extreme restless leg syndrome and insomnia 🙈 xx

Hey ladies! I’m 8+2 and honestly the last 2 days the tiredness/exhaustion is something else. I almost feel like I’m underwater I’m that tired, anyone else the same? It’s actually scaring me thinking is it normal!

@Ss32 yes I remember the expressing while someone else is feeding! Also how precious the stored breastmilk was and how gutted I was if it wasn’t used and had to be tipped down the sink 😂

@Alexandra07 so when I scanned at 8 weeks lmp, but measured 5w6 that's pointing towards the baby stopped growing at 5w6 from lmp and not from conception as I'd have been pretty bang on the date of 6 weeks from conception at the scan.... I'm sorry if I'm not making sense on my question it just really confuses me, I guess when I know the times I'd ovulated-ish I should have measured 8 weeks on the scan and should have seen a heartbeat, therefore at either a private scan now or my nhs scan in 2 weeks I'd see a heartbeat.

Anyone else's boobs feel bigger??

@VictoriaBlossom I had a scan at about 8+4 last time from LMP and there was a heartbeat so yes at your next scan you should see it, im sure the heart starts beating week5/6ish x

Mine feel like boulders 😩

@Ss32 hahahahahha just took my bra off and looked in the mirror and thought: are these even mine? 😂

Even seeing the feeding chat is flaring up my anxiety,but I need to face up to it. We had such a tough feeding journey with my first that it was the biggest thing making me unsure whether to have another. She was unwell in her early days and couldn't latch, so I started expressing in hospital. Even once she was better she refused to nurse (we really tried but i was losing my sanity pumping round the clock and also trying to nurse, we were both so distressed). Ultimately I exclusively pumped for a year, and while I'm proud of myself as it was bloody hard work, in hindsight I wish I'd been a bit more flexible and introduced formula for combi feeding sooner (I didnt do this until 8 months). I had mastitis 5 times including being hospitalised once, as I had over supply. I didn't feel at all supported by health professionals in my choice to keep expressing.

With this next baby, part of me is hoping for a "normal" breastfeeding experience but I know even when nursing works it's incredibly hard work too. One of the obvious benefits of exclusive pumping was that my husband could feed her. Another part of me is considering exclusive pumping again simply because it's what I know - but introducing some formula sooner.

The biggest learning for me is that it's good to be prepared for various different feeding journeys as you might not have control over it. I wasn't prepared for the impact that all things feeding had on my mental health last time, I guess whatever happens this time I'm more ready for that.

@VictoriaBlossom I had my scan at 7 weeks (measured from first day of last period, as is the standard in healthcare settings) and could clearly see the heart flickering on the monitor. It was an abdominal scan too.

Curious to know if any mums who're doing this for the second or + time used reusable nappies and what your experience was?

To join in the feeding chat, I both bottle and breast fed my DS and found the bottle feeding way more of a hassle if I'm honest. But I enjoyed breastfeeding, didn't struggle with it, so I expect that made a difference. Nipples were slightly sore for the first few days but that was it. I have huge boobs as well (H cups).

Sorry @Hankthehonk to trigger any anxiety. I hope this time round is much easier and less stressful for you, however you decide to feed baby x

I bottle fed both my DC from the start, and intend to do the same with this one too, and like @EMcG3 I never found it much hassle. Early days we used the preprepared disposable bottles when out, but found the Tommy Tippee milk powder pots that sit inside the bottles a godsend, alongside the perfect prep machine. As long as you clean it regularly they're fine - both my boys have survived despite some opinions on it anyway!

I'm still shattered, everything feels like hard work - mostly pretending I'm not so exhausted in front of everyone else! 😆

@VictoriaBlossom sorry, I may have misunderstood, was your last pregnancy a MC? If yes, then the measurements must have shown when the embryo stopped developing or an issue with slow growth.

@Koalawhala Oh there's no need for you or anyone else to apologise (but thank you) - I guess I'm just naming it because I had a panicky reaction even reading through the posts and thinking about feeding, but I really need to process it and confront it.
Thank you for your kind words

@Chanteuse i have had a good few hormonal moments this week, more anger than tears to be honest but I have also had a good few moments where I have snapped at my very patient, calm and lovely OH who I never normal snap at and also often felt tearful and alone despite very much not being (he’s very supportive and so are my family).

to all of those involved in the breast feeding conversation, I sort of have the opposite issue in terms of not really wanting to express but feeling like I ought to for my DP.

I was on my own with my first child (lone parent) and so BF and loved the convenience of it and not having to prep bottles at night. I was forced to express in hospital for 24 hours to get my DS weight up and it was 24 hours of hell (BF, feed pumped milk, change and settle baby, pump, sleep for 30 minutes then be woken up by the nurses because I had to feed him on this cycle every 3 hours). I was exhausted and felt like a cow by the end of it and refused point blank to pump again after leaving hospital.

my DP however has only ever bottle fed his kids and loved doing their night feeds. He’s quite sad about not getting to do that and to bond with the baby in that way, so I feel like I need to try expressing so that he can do that sometimes. I think I’m going to go for one that just collects from the opposite breast whilst I’m feeding as I always had so much milk it sprayed everywhere so I’m sure I can collect at least some and have some bottles stored up for him without too much effort.

@PrimarilyParented my partner also used to nag me (in an annoying but not overpowering) way to express more so that he could feed. I know it was so he felt like he was helping more but I hated pumping 😂

ah @Hankthehonk, sorry to trigger you so early on. I think the thought of feeding is one of the things that I’m slightly anxious about too hence why I’m going over and over in my head about it so early! I think, with your first, everything seems such a big deal too. Like I said, I was so against giving formula to help myself until after 6 months and I have no idea why, I’d just made up this silly rule in my own head! I think I’ll be way more chilled this time around.

@LaVitesse2022 we’ve only used disposable so can’t help with that one x

Hi everyone.

With my DS #1 I did try BF. I started BF exclusively. And I honestly could not fill my son. So then mixed from BF and expressing so then he was bottle fed it & I could see how much he was getting. I too was in a 3 hour cycle of feeding, expressing for 1hr, changing baby etc trying to nap and then repeat. It was exhausting.
TBH I only probably did it for as long as I did because we went into lockdown March 2020 DS was 3 weeks old and with us not leaving the house, no visitors etc... had nothing better to do.
On week 6 I then introduced formula and combi fed him. And gradually over the next 4 weeks it got less BF milk and more formula and then he was on formula until weaned.

One of my sisters exclusively BF 2 DC. My journey is above. And my other sister never even tried BF with her 2 DCs. We all have perfectly happy, healthy children.

I think the best way going forward with feeding is to not put too much pressure on any particular way. A fed baby is a happy baby and that's all that matters whether it's formula, BF or mixed.
BF is not for everyone and that's OK too xx

Hi I am due November 2nd (5 weeks 3 days) with my first pregnancy and I was just wondering if anyone else has stomach cramps every day and when you stop getting them? Since some of you are nearly at the same level of pregnancy as me and some of you are weeks ahead.

They tend to happen more and are more painful if I haven't eaten recently eg waking up in the middle of the night so if I wake up in the middle of the night I have to have a gingernut before I can go back to sleep to ease the cramping.

I don't have a reassurance scan until week 8 so just have a bit of anxiety about the stomach cramps. I just did another clearblue digital and it says 2-3. I did one 6 days ago and it also said 2-3. I haven't had morning sickness yet.

Thank you

@Hankthehonk - wow, this sounds really tough, I can see how the idea of doing it again would feel difficult to contemplate. Also, thanks for sharing your advice to prepare for different feeding journeys than we might plan for. Our planned feeding worked out smoothly (bottle, no problems, other than getting a lot of pressure to breastfeed). However, I have a bunch of friends who had strong ideas about what they would do, and who found it really emotionally challenging to change direction when it didn't work out, for whatever reason. I think being flexible going into it is really, really important. Thanks for saying that, and for sharing your story.

I've had minor ones (I'm 5+1) but if yours are bothering you to that extent I would call your GP and get them to refer you to your local EPU to be checked.

My symptoms have disappeared again 😩 making me nervous again

@PrimarilyParented glad to hear someone else is going through it too! Gosh it was really weird, I knew I was being irrational but I was crying my eyes out! Poor DH was absolutely baffled! 😂

@Ss32 There's no need to apologise, I should have been clear I totally understand why people are talking about it on this thread and I'm glad you are! It made me realise how much anxiety I am still carrying about feeding, I need to deal with it.
I was just like you, it became incredibly important to me to keep providing only breastmilk. My mental health was really impacted by the whole thing - intellectually I have always been very much "fed is best" and when I was pregnant the first time I was like "I'll try to breastfeed and if it doesn't work I'll formula feed". But somehow the intensity of feeling like a failure for not managing to breastfeed focused itself into an obsession with exclusively expressing. I can see that clearly now and how much harder I made it for myself, but I can't help being scared that that version of me will emerge again. I suffered late onset post partum anxiety triggered by weaning when I started to reduce the expressing.
Thanks for sharing your story, it helps to know other people feel anxious around all this too.

@LaVitesse2022 i used reusables until he outgrew them (regular leaks as he was such a heavy wetter) at around 2. He was potty trained shortly after so just used reusable at night then.

i loved the reusables and use mostly bambino mios which I got on an Amazon freak deal where I got 16 for £40. They were fantastic but basically I just could not find a night nappy that was foolproof and so he ended up in disposables at night just before he was 2. I’m keen to find a night nappy solution that works this time but also think I might cave and use a disposable at night if I can’t, as it definitely impacted sleep issues to have a leaking nappy.