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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Am I likely to be the dad

103 replies

Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 17:59

So basically me and my gf split up and then at Christmas we met up and slowly started to give things ago, and it was going really well better than ever in fact,
whilst we were split up she slept with someone else I knew this so wasn’t an issue

anyway the first day of her last period is 14th December, she slept with them late on the 21st December around midnight so could say 22nd December

then we met up and had sex numerous times on the 26th and 27th

then also from the 3rd till the 7th then she went to hospital as had a bad uti that was a kidney infection and they tested her for pregnancy then (urine) but I don’t think this would rule out the date before it right ?

anyway she’s now found out she’s pregnant and by the dates I have no idea is the 22nd likely to be to early in the menstrual cycle

a little additional information is that her cycles vary and average at about 30 days
but some are as long as 35.
also her period ended the 19th December not sure if that helps

she’s booked an early detection scan but by what iv read that won’t really give any indication, I’m hoping it says it’s really young and it was concieved in January but I don’t know if it’s possible to ovulate that many days into your cycle

hope this makes sense, there was no protection or birth control used to be clear

OP posts:
Darthwazette · 02/02/2023 18:00

I would imagine it’s more likely to be your child based on the dates alone but a DNA test will be needed to confirm as it’s a bit too close to call.

gettingalifttothestation · 02/02/2023 18:04

21st and 22nd would be too early

DontTouchMePlease · 02/02/2023 18:04

www.calculator.net/conception-calculator.html?today=12%2F14%2F2022&ccycle=32&printit=0&x=119&y=22

agree with pp, it’s likely to be yours.

BloodAndFire · 02/02/2023 18:04

Ooh this is a new twist.

mauvish · 02/02/2023 18:08

21st and 22nd would be too early

No, that's not a guarantee.

Sperm can survive for up to a week within the woman's genital tract.

22 Dec would be day 9 of the cycle so if she ovulated on day 14, it's possible there could have been some viable sperm hanging around from the 22 Dec. Even if she ovulated on the 15 or 16, it's still possible.

The dates make it more likely to be your child, OP, but it's not guaranteed.

Rosie22xx · 02/02/2023 18:12

I have similar cycles and most likely it's yours, by the dates.
She would ovulate maybe around day 14-16.
She slept with the first guy on day 8/9, sperm can live up to 5 days, but unlikely to be that long, more commonly 2-3 days.
She slept with you on day 13/14, where your sperm is fresh and aligns up with most likely ovulation date.
Unless she ovulated much earlier than normal (which can happen randomly for a one off month) so I wouldn't rule either out.
But its pointing more so in your direction.
Guarantee will only be with the dna test when baby is born.

Original poster
Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 18:15

Thanks for the replies, so I’m guessing there’s very slim chance her ovulation could be really late and we concieved early January ? (3rd-7th)

just as then at least a scan might clear it up rather than waiting for a dna test…

also did see they offer dna tests private that can be as early as 7 weeks pregnant

OP posts:
Angelofthenortheast · 02/02/2023 18:16

It's so unlikely that it could be the other guy's based on the dates

Kladebs · 02/02/2023 18:20

Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 18:15

Thanks for the replies, so I’m guessing there’s very slim chance her ovulation could be really late and we concieved early January ? (3rd-7th)

just as then at least a scan might clear it up rather than waiting for a dna test…

also did see they offer dna tests private that can be as early as 7 weeks pregnant

You can do nipt tests that early yes and find out before baby is born. But they're £800 ish.
It depends if you can A) afford it and B) if its something that needs to be known before birth

Original poster
Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 18:25

Yeah the money isn’t an issue, it’s just i don’t know how to enjoy the moment not knowing, and I don’t know if I’d love the baby if it wasn’t mine, im not sure if that’s cruel I just don’t know ( I don’t have any kids previous to this) and it wasn’t planned but life isn’t planned and I was really scared/excited until I realised how ovulation works, I didn’t actually realise there was a small window for getting pregnant just thought it could happen whenever

OP posts:
ThomasinaLivesHere · 02/02/2023 18:25

The chances of sperm surviving more than 3 days is quite low. So I’d agree with others that it’s more likely yours.

SunshineAndFizz · 02/02/2023 18:31

There's only one way to know 100%. Gotta do a DNA test. We've all seen Jeremy Kyle, dates and cycles are never a guarantee.

Good luck OP 👍🏻

allgoodthings84 · 02/02/2023 18:35

depending on when she ovulated it could be any of the dates. I would say (as she has long cycles) it’s most likely to be yours and even could be within the January dates if it was one of her longer up to 35 day cycles.

There is a chance it could be the earlier guy though if she was having a shorter (for her) 30 day cycle if she has a longer than average Luteal phase as sperm can live inside up to 5 days before ovulation. Or she could have had a shorter cycle as most women have a longer/short cycle very occasionally.

so yea there’s no guarantee without a test of some kind but most likely to be yours.

ZooMount · 02/02/2023 18:36

I completely disagree with the chances of the other guys being really slim, I've got pregnant twice when I thought it would be too early. I was happy to get pregnant, am happily married but wasn't actively trying, in fact thought we were avoiding it due to dates. I think my dh's sperm just live fairly long! I also agree that it's more likely yours but I would want a DNA test to be sure.

K37529 · 02/02/2023 18:37

Honestly it could be either of yous, you don't when she ovulated, you can ovulate early, late or middle of cycle all women are different, the only way you will know for sure is with a DNA test

allgoodthings84 · 02/02/2023 18:39

Although we are all assuming that she slept with you both unprotected? If she used protection with the other bloke then it ups your chances by loads.

However, if she slept with you both unprotected then (I’m so sorry I hate to say this) then I would both get checked out for STI’s/STD’s too just in case. I don’t mean that in a judgy way (I’ve had to get tested in the past) just unless she knows for sure that the other bloke had nothing to pass on its better to be safe.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 02/02/2023 18:41

It could be either if yours, only way to tell is a dna test everything else is speculation.

louise5754 · 02/02/2023 18:42

His do you know all this info? I've no idea about my own?

Emmamoo89 · 02/02/2023 18:47

Definitely need to do a dna test

Happinessandrainbows · 02/02/2023 18:58

Everything is pointing towards the baby being yours.
You say that no protection was used. Why? Surely you're both adults that know how babies are conceived.

Original poster
Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 19:04

Both unprotected and we both got full tests :)

OP posts:
Liveafr · 02/02/2023 19:05

Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 18:15

Thanks for the replies, so I’m guessing there’s very slim chance her ovulation could be really late and we concieved early January ? (3rd-7th)

just as then at least a scan might clear it up rather than waiting for a dna test…

also did see they offer dna tests private that can be as early as 7 weeks pregnant

A scan won't tell you the exact date of conception.

WetBandits · 02/02/2023 19:06

If her shortest cycle is 30 days, she’s likely to have ovulated around day 16 (ovulation tends to be shortest cycle length minus 14 days), going by the formula I use at work to calculate ovulation date for emergency contraception.

However, sperm can live inside a woman for 5ish days (some studies say 7, but the general consensus is 5 days) so it’s a possibility that the other man might be the father.

If you are happy about the baby, you need to decide if it matters to you to find out who the biological father is.

Original poster
Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 19:11

Liveafr · 02/02/2023 19:05

A scan won't tell you the exact date of conception.

Show quote history

I’m aware hence why I asked about the January dates… as I presume a scan can differentiate 2 weeks difference by the babies growth

I know if it’s the December dates it won’t be able to

OP posts:
carmenitapink · 02/02/2023 19:16

Ffhffjf · 02/02/2023 19:04

Both unprotected and we both got full tests :)

I'm still amazed by people having sex with multiple partners no protection as if you can't get STDs and as if pregnancy is super remote.

More kids being brought into homes that are likely to become single parent homes.

sighs