Am I likely to be the dad

[Ffhffjf]

So basically me and my gf split up and then at Christmas we met up and slowly started to give things ago, and it was going really well better than ever in fact,
whilst we were split up she slept with someone else I knew this so wasn’t an issue

anyway the first day of her last period is 14th December, she slept with them late on the 21st December around midnight so could say 22nd December

then we met up and had sex numerous times on the 26th and 27th

then also from the 3rd till the 7th then she went to hospital as had a bad uti that was a kidney infection and they tested her for pregnancy then (urine) but I don’t think this would rule out the date before it right ?

anyway she’s now found out she’s pregnant and by the dates I have no idea is the 22nd likely to be to early in the menstrual cycle

a little additional information is that her cycles vary and average at about 30 days
but some are as long as 35.
also her period ended the 19th December not sure if that helps

she’s booked an early detection scan but by what iv read that won’t really give any indication, I’m hoping it says it’s really young and it was concieved in January but I don’t know if it’s possible to ovulate that many days into your cycle

hope this makes sense, there was no protection or birth control used to be clear

It’s all so conflicting just the fact the date landed on the date she had sex and then the fact iv never had children and have tried with someone previously in a long term relationship ( but they were older and had been on contraception a long time so put it down to that ) then also some sites say the most accurate date is given at the 6-8 week scan

A dating scan isnt usually done until around 12 weeks, I don't think a 6 week scan is accurate for dating a pregnancy, and even at 12 weeks they can still be out by a few days or so. Its still very possible that you are the dad (although equally as likely to be the other man), the only way to know is with a DNA test

i Mean I will still do a dna test just seems quite conclusive

@Ffhffjf when you have sex isn’t when conception is! Well unless it just happened to time just after she ovulated and as the 22nd would be cycle day 9 out of a 30-35 day cycle it seems extremely unlikely. Not impossible but unlikely. Conception is when the sperm fertilises the egg which is within 24 hours of ovulation

Yeah that’s what I’m saying conception is likely the 22nd she met him on the 21st so had sex early hours mornings 22nd

I had sex with her late on the 26th so if conception had already occurred

@Ffhffjf also they would not say 14th December for gestational date and 22nd for conception either. They always just add on 2 weeks from conception so that doesn’t add up…

@Ffhffjf even though it isn’t always 2 weeks that’s how they date it until 12 week scan as they only have your say so of when LMP they can’t actually tell that from a scan

They didn’t add 14 because they measured the size of the baby… and gave a fetal age of 6 weeks and 2 days

@Ffhffjf because of health issues I had an early scan from the NHS at 6 weeks. The date they gave me was 4 days off. The sonographer and my consultant were very clear that dating at that early stage was not very accurate.

okay that’s interesting, they made out to her I didn’t attend I’m away working that it was accurate but also did say the 26th could be possible

it’s just the fact they put it on a day she had sex without knowing she had sex and a date that by normal cycles or long cycles is vastly off

@Ffhffjf from 8 weeks it can be a bit more accurate. In America they do the first scan then. Before 8 weeks it really can be up to a week out.

Then baby was conceived in January not December, a dating scan adds on two weeks from conception so count back 4+2 weeks and add on two, conception was 4 weeks and two days ago according to the scan

@Ffhffjf basically as she had sex with you both so close together a scan is not going to give you an answer at any stage. A scan is as accurate as they can be and at 12 weeks a pretty accurate but it’s not exact and you had sex with her so close together. A DNA test is the only way you’re going to know for sure.

To be fair she was probably in a state of panic and not fully taking it in. Yes, the will have given her a date but it really is a shot in the dark at that gestation.

You need the DNA test and I really hope you get the result you and she want xx

Sorry I'm not sure if my last post made sense. A baby that is dated as 6 weeks and 2 days was conceived 4 weeks and 2 days ago. A scan goes from last menstrual cycle not conception, so adds on 14 days to conception date. So If I went for a scan today it will say I am 15 weeks pregnant but conception was 13 weeks ago, I hope this makes sense

thank you me too, appreciate everyone taking time to respond

I went for a early growth scan when I was 6weeks 5 days (from Cycle day 1)

The Fetal growth was measured as 5weeks 5days, so 1 week behind the first day of my last period.

If that implies I actually conceived 5 weeks and 5 days before, that would be out by a minimum of 7 days in my case. I was tracking everything including ovulation and when we tried that cycle. If fetal measurement was correct based on conception and an accurate way to measure conception I would be measuring 4weeks 5 days at most.

The next scan I had was when I was 9 weeks 1 day gestational and fetal measurement was still tracking 1 week behind that at 8 weeks 1 day.

My 12 week dating scan with the NHS I had when I was 12 weeks 0 days and baby was now measuring 12 weeks 1 day on the dot.

My point is, these scans really can’t date conception, the nhs one typically aligns with a normal 28 day cycle well which is why that one came back almost spot on in my case, women with longer cycles who ovulate a lot later into their cycle will measure smaller at that scan but that’s an entirely different issue with dating scans and due dates.

Basically what I take from this is the early scans really are there to see how things are going and only have to be out by the tiniest amount to add or remove days from estimated fetal age. I hope that helps somewhat put your mind at ease for now.

I'd honestly wait for a DNA test but the others are right an early scan isn't accurate. I'm currently pregnant with my first and had a scan at 9 weeks with an EDD of May 11. My 12 week scan (only two weeks later) revised this to May 5 - almost a week apart.

Her 12 week scan will be most accurate but still won't tell you the date of conception

Sorry you’re in this situation. Like others say you really can’t know until the DNA test.

The dating scan I had put date of conception in a period where I wasn’t having sex so they’re not always as accurate as you think they are.

Got 5 kids, the first scan was always corrected later on. Every child has to be adopted by his father. Quote from one of my teacher. Food for thought.

Just out of curiosity did you have girls? I remember reading that the best way to conceive a girl was to have sex up to a few days before ovulation and then stop, for boys wait until ovulation. Something to do withe the sperm and chromosomes. Just wondered if there was any truth in it.

Just checking what happened @Ffhffjf? Sounds like it was a very stressful situation, I hope it worked out for you

Ewww how on Earth doesn't this gross you out, so you broke out and after a short while your gf got involved with another guy, AND without protection? You've both been in your gf within a few days of each other and periods are not a mathematical certainty, it could really be either... As per if you don't know whether you could love that child if it weren't yours, you won't, no matter how progressive and liberal you think you are. It's against a man's spend his resources and raise a child that has no genetic connection to him... And if that child were that other man's do you just intend to hide it from him?? And if you do tell him, what if he wants to be involved with his child, how would that make you feel?

It serves you all right...

The truth is no-one will be able to say for sure without a test. I'd suggest you find out, you'll always question it otherwise.

@0MammaBear0 he didn't post to be judged, and this thread is a year old so think he's likely over the fact she slept with someone when they were broken up and sure has figured out the parentage, hopefully in his favour as he seems very attentive and understanding