Due May 2023 - thread two

[Flowersflowers121]

Hiiii everyone. Thread two as the first one filled up :)

@buuuka86 I have low PAPP-A too but growth was fine at my 20 week scan so hopefully it’s all good for you too.

I did the NCT classes for my last pregnancy (daughter is 14 months) and they were really good. Had a lovely bunch of Mums and Dads and the Mums still have an active WhatsApp group and meet up pretty regularly.

Welcome @buuuka86 and congratulations! I have low PAPP-A and baby was measuring fine at our scan, 50th percentile the sonographer said. I’m sure yours will be fine. I joined a FB support group and I’d say 90% of the women posting report healthy babies.

I nipped into Jojo Mama Bebe today and omg their sale is fantastic, if anyone needs an excuse to buy some cute clothes!

I promised myself I wouldn’t buy much as this pregnancy is our 2nd boy so we really don’t need anything except for some vests and baby grows which I’m happy to buy from the supermarket, but just couldn’t resist a few cute outfits today!!

Are there any knitters or crocheters on this thread? I think I'm going to have crack at making a few bits for our baby, probably a better use of my time than Netflix.

Welcome @buuuka86 and good luck for your 20w scan 🙂

I finally felt my baby moving this week, at 23w. I hadn’t been worried but felt like I was missing out. What a strange feeling!

im still struggling with side sleeping. I had impingement in my right shoulder about 10 years ago and it feels like it’s back 😭 even playing a card game on my iPad is painful. I’ve got a giant hollowfibre pregnancy pillow, which works okay when I can find the right position but I’m debating whether to splash out on something with more support.

I hope everyone else is doing okay 😊

Thanks @Janch13 and @Jaymar ! That's reassuring, I'm happy for you both! And I'm going to check that sale out too.

Is anyone elsh's pregnancy considered "high risk"? They call my pregnancy that only because of the IVF. What it means is that:

1. I've been having more appointments (which I'm actually happy with)
2. The childbirth will be consultant-led (I guess that's ok too, as I will probably want an epidural anyway)
3. They said they don't want me to go over 40 weeks, so if I don't give birth by then, they will wanna induce me. This bit I'm not pleased about at all but my midwife said I can refuse to be induced..

Ah, that's amazing @raffika! I can't wait to feel the baby too. I have a big pillow (it was a gift, I'm not sure about the brand) but I'm not convinced it helps with sleeping on a side.

@buuuka86 I am not sure if I am marked as high risk but I essentially am

I'm epileptic and at risk of pre-eclampsia
The baby was also measuring in a low percentile in the early stages

I think I have two more scans than the average person for pregnancy

Not as high risk as my friend though who is getting scans every 2-3 weeks

@buuuka86 No one has mentioned the term high-risk to me but due to the low PAPP-A I will be consultant lead (which is fine by me, more scans so more chance to see the baby!)

Only issue is if the baby is measuring small closer to my due date then I won’t get to be in the birthing suite (I was last time and it was a really lovely birth experience) but my midwife reassured me that a lot of women with Low PAPP-A are referred back to the midwife by 36 weeks as baby is measuring fine. And I’m quietly confident all will be fine. My 1st baby was massive so I never worried about having a small baby.

@raffika it's such a funny feeling isn't it! I didn't feel much at all until 22 weeks and now the little bean won't stop kicking - it definitely went from one to the other very quickly 😂

I'm not high risk but there seems to be some issues with antibodies, rhesus negative, anti-D etc etc so bloods have gone for further testing and I have a meeting with a consultant in a couple of weeks. I'm sure it's all fine!

Still not bought a single thing....

This has made me feel much better. I am 21+5 with anterior placenta and really not feeling anything. I concentrate a lot in the evenings when I'm lying down, or after food/cold drink to see if I can feel anything faintly but so far nothing recognisable.
I'm hoping at some point this week I begin to feel something as isn't it from 24 weeks that you are supposed to have a rough pattern of movement from baby?

@buuuka86 my pregnancy is high risk, I'm on my 17th scan and counting at 24 weeks ( modi twins who had ttts, we had fetal surgery and they're doing okay). We are consultant led and will be having a c section at 34 weeks unless they come earlier, which is a high risk

@LemonDrizz my placenta was anterior too so I only got flutters / airpops at the side to begin with but I reckon it's now moved to the side a bit as I'm feeling strong kicks almost everywhere now! They're getting stronger every day 😊 I think a pattern isn't established until 28 weeks so still a while yet. Have you had your 24 week midwife appointment?

@LemonDrizz I don’t have an anterior placenta, and I first felt baby moving bang on 23 weeks, and since then I feel it all the time. A friend of mine had an anterior placenta and didn’t feel anything until 25/26 weeks. Try not to worry 🙂

@buuuka86 it sounds like they’re keeping a close eye on you, which is reassuring. Was it explained why they’ll want to induce you if you get to 40 weeks? Their rationale may well influence whether you’ll accept the induction or not.

Oh that's good if its 28 weeks until an established pattern, was just thinking I didn't have much time to learn what was 'normal' given I haven't felt anything yet!
I had a midwife appointment just after 16 weeks, but I don't have another one booked until 26 weeks which seems a bit late. I just checked on NHS website and it says it should be 25 weeks that I have my next one so wonder if I should call them and get it moved a week earlier... I have another scan next week at 23 weeks as they couldn't get everything at 20 weeks when I had my anomaly scan.

@raffika the reason they want to make sure the baby is delivered before full term is that in IVF pregnancies the risk of stillbirth is higher, at 0.3% (compared to 0.1%). That's according to my obstetrician and a study she sent me. Meanwhile my midwife thinks the difference is small and if the baby grows nicely then there should be no need to induce.

I guess I will observe how the baby develops and if the advice changes.. I'm just a little surprised how much the fact that it was an IVF pregnancy affects things.. I also wonder if they didn't compare apples to oranges in that study as I imagine women undergoing IVF are older, etc.

@Aliceinwonderland5 17 scans????!! That's mad!! I've only had 3 nhs ones so far (20w4d), plus 2 private ones when I was bleeding at the very beginning. Tomorrow is the 20w one.

Are everyone else's nipples massive? Mine are enormous! I don't like the way they look but apparently it's so that the baby can locate them more easily!

@MommaSmith I have epilepsy as well. How are you finding it? Everyone insists that I keep taking my meds but I can't help feel guilty as they are very open to the fact that this increases the chance of birth defects (by like 2% but it still matters!)

@OptimusPrime31 I am taking a very low dose of lamotigine twice a day (75mg). It was increased from 50mg as I had a mini episode which I dont know if it was purely epilepsy related or pregnancy norm.

Ive accepted it comes with risks but not overly thought about it past 12w
I switched from epilum which is the worse drug you can use so in my mind I am doing the best I can

Better to have a 2% or less risk to the baby then risk myself and the baby by not looking after my epilepsy as I normally do

If you have a seizure that would hurt them and you more

Wondering if anyone is suffering with anxiety? I'm not anxious about birth or baby but everything else. If I'm honest I'm not coping at all.

I'm really depressed, I'm not sleeping so nap in the day, I'm crying but absolutely sobbing at night. I just burt into tears as I felt overwhelmed by my kids asking me things.

I feel like a shit mother, I feel really awful and guilty because I'm so tired and I can't do the things I want to or did before i was pregnant.

I've never felt like this during pregnancy before and if I had usually I'd go walk or see my family but we moved 40 minutes away last year and I don't drive so I feel incredibly isolated.

@TisforTucan No advice but sending all the support! I don’t have the same feelings you’re experiencing but I definitely feel the strain of having a toddler to care for/entertain this time, whereas my last pregnancy I just had to worry about taking care of myself (blissful weekend naps etc!)

Also (someone once told me and it stuck with me).. shit mothers don’t worry about being shit mothers. So please be kind to yourself! This is just a challenging period that will pass.

Please reach out to your GP or community midwife. Perinatal depression is a real thing! Not talked about as much as post-partum depression.

💐

Hi @TisforTucan you are not alone! I’m finding it hard juggling everything and I don’t even have kids to deal with so I can’t imagine how difficult that must be. Do get in touch with your midwife and they should be able to put you in contact with a counselling service. I’ve had counselling in the past for anxiety and depression and it is life changing. Don’t beat yourself up for how you are feeling it’s so so understandable and I really do think if you can get the right support you will find you can cope much better. In the mean time is there anyone you can reach out to over the phone or meet up and just vent to? Can anyone come and visit you for a cup of tea and a chat? But I can’t say enough how helpful talking to a professional has been for me. Wishing you all the best and if you just want to vent on here go for it.

Thank you ladies for replying to me it really helps, I've really struggled this week with mum guilt. Big hugs to you both @ru53 @Janch13

It's difficult, I've had depression out of pregnancy but never during and my usual methods to get over it arent there anymore (and I'm super hormonal). I'm at the stage right now where I don't want to talk to anyone out side as I don't have answers why I feel like this (if that makes sense) but I have told my mum via text as I don't get so upset and my husband.

I was ok until after Christmas and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I can't even pin point what it is, triggers are just everything and I'm doing a degree so that's a stressor. I've got two little ones and one is at home so I feel awful for them right now, I've got playgroup tomorrow for the first time since Christmas so hoping that will give me some routine and some friendly faces.

If you are struggling like me I'm so sorry you feel this way, it's heartbreaking because you're suppose to be glowing and happy and it's hard to put a front on. I love this baby so much but I just don't love me right now.

@TisforTucan wow you have so much on your plate no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed! Doing a degree is so much pressure plus 2 little ones already and you’ve moved away from your normal support network. Plus all the pregnancy hormones on top of all of that. Honestly I think anyone would be struggling and finding things hard! I also think this time of year is just tough anyway, it’s so cold and dark and Christmas is over. Playgroup sounds like a good bit of structure so hopefully that will help a bit. Is your mum or husband able to help you out at all to give you a few extra breaks now and then? Sounds like you could really do with some headspace

@TisforTucan Yeah I get the anxiety, I do manage it well though, I think. usually night times and early mornings it creeps in.
I do have anxiety for having a 2nd, will I manage? Will my first born change behaviour badly? (He’s only just turned 2) How will I take them both out? How will I manage the night feeds and then be up all day with a toddler? , my partner will only get 2 weeks off this time, with our first it was covid, it was great in ways.
and many other worries.

I also remember being really worried with my first, and having serious anxiety, visions of just bad things happening, but it’s been okay so far, he’s doing well and it wasn’t actually as bad as I thought. So I hope it’s the same this time.
I’m always worried to talk about it to docs or midwife, I just keep it to myself. My partner is really logical so sometimes I find that unhelpful, even though I know he’s trying to reassure me. Cause it makes all my worries seem… I’m not sure how to describe it, maybe a bit silly, or unfounded.
but he’s just trying to help and I respect him a lot for that.

I am feeling loads of movements though which is nice, over the half way mark, it’s definitely going faster this time round!
I’m looking forward to 28week scan next month, see how she’s getting on!