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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Due May 2023 - thread two

1000 replies

Flowersflowers121 · 27/10/2022 09:00

Hiiii everyone. Thread two as the first one filled up :)

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19
Irishgirl55 · 04/01/2023 15:09

@Bananabreakfast123 sounds exactly like my wardrobe!!

Flowersflowers121 · 04/01/2023 16:06

Hahaha we're all entering the stage where we can get away with just wearing leggings full time. Love it

I sized up by 1 just because I ordered petite (they normally run a biiiiit smaller than the regular length sizes) :)

OP posts:
CatMad22 · 04/01/2023 16:24

On the topic of leggings etc, adding my vote for ASOS maternity jeans! I ordered 2 pairs in the sale and they're super comfy with a nice fit.

Bananabreakfast123 · 04/01/2023 17:16

@CatMad22 yes I've purchased a few pairs from asos. Managed to get a coated leather look pair (with attractive over bump elastic 🤣) and it was nice to feel normal again going out for festive dinners although can't quite find tops that I'm comfortable in yet. I also bought an under bump pair but they don't stay up particularly well, I've maybe bought them a little big but they were a bargain so I'll muddle on. Fit might change as bump expands 🤞 both were really reasonably priced though so no complaints.

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/01/2023 17:21

On a slightly more stressful note, has anyone else calculated their mat pay and looked at childcare cost? All I can say is 😱😱😱

CatMad22 · 04/01/2023 17:35

@Bananabreakfast123 I think mine are both under bump pairs too - one with a stretchy fabric at the front and the other with stretchy sides. I ordered them both in a 10 but not convinced they'll fit all the way through 🤣 Primark tops in one size too big have been quite comfortable for me so far!

CatMad22 · 04/01/2023 17:41

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl Prices are absolutely eye watering even for part time 🥴 I'm (very optimistically) hoping to change to either freelance consulting with my current employer or find an evening job doing something else after mat leave so I don't have to use much childcare.

My mat pay isn't bad for 6 months but after that it'll get tricky, I'm saving as much as I can now to try and make up the difference, or I'll have to go back earlier than planned.

OptimusPrime31 · 04/01/2023 18:14

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/01/2023 17:21

On a slightly more stressful note, has anyone else calculated their mat pay and looked at childcare cost? All I can say is 😱😱😱

Omfg!! I'm a teacher so only get the 156.66 a week after the 90% for 6 weeks.That will just about cover my half of the rent.
I've spent my life trying to make myself as independent as possible and now I'm going to rely on my bf for everything from food to shower gel. I don't want to go back early but think I might have to. Its sad.

wintersun21 · 04/01/2023 18:27

We want to move house because we have a tiny 2 up 1 down with us both working from home so we've just sat down the budget how much we can afford and now my husband is campaigning not to move 😂

He knows we can't stay though but yeah SMP is not fun. I am grateful to get 18 weeks at full pay but even then my eyes are watering for the rest of the year off I want to take. I may end up going back after statutory finishes

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/01/2023 18:48

18 weeks is great @wintersun21 ! I'm NHS and for some reason people always think it's amazing but full pay is only 8wks

lmw88 · 04/01/2023 19:06

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I'm NHS as well. Full pay 8 wks, half pay 16wks + SMP then 13wks SMP is what I think I've read. I was thinking of evenly spreading across the 9mths then use some accrued annual leave for month 10 then go back phased using remaining accrued annual leave....would love to take the full year but don't think it's feasible....

Buntymcgiggle · 04/01/2023 19:10

Me and dp are self employed so I'll only get maternity allowance to keep us going, we are going to struggle so much with cost of living going up. There's no way we'll be able to afford a nursery unless we both go back to full time employed positions. eBay all the way for our baby gear.

raffika · 04/01/2023 19:26

@Flowersflowers121 another one wondering what the sizing is like on the legs and bum?

I sized up on maternity jeans from Dorothy Perkins and they’re too big and don’t want to make that mistake again! (I’m hoping they’ll fit once my tummy grows, as the cost to return was almost as much as I paid!)

raffika · 04/01/2023 19:45

On the pay front, I’m having 6 months off, as I cannot afford a year (and I’m not sure having that long off is for me anyway). I earn more than twice what my husband does, and my pay from work is 1 month at 75% and 2 months at 50% - it’s better than nothing but leaves a massive gap in our income.

I saved before we started trying for a baby, and since, to make sure I had enough to continue paying my monthly contribution into our joint account towards the mortgage and bills, and to pay the dog walker (we need to keep her or we will lose the slots, and she’s the only walker in our area, so in demand). I know I’m lucky to have been able to save, as so many families are struggling. This will allow me to effectively live off the Maternity Allowance (food, baby things, petrol etc) and I’ll have some savings left for incidentals. I can manage for the 6 months, but not much longer.

When I go back to work in November, I’m doing 4 long days and having a Friday off. I cannot say enough good things about my employer, they told me I can work whatever and whenever I want, and just let them know, which is incredible. I’m also eternally grateful to my Mum and MIL, who offered to jave the baby 1 day each, meaning we only have to pay for 2 days with the childminder, at £55/day. I really don’t know how full time childcare is affordable for many families, as it’s so expensive!

Flowersflowers121 · 04/01/2023 20:10

raffika · 04/01/2023 19:26

@Flowersflowers121 another one wondering what the sizing is like on the legs and bum?

I sized up on maternity jeans from Dorothy Perkins and they’re too big and don’t want to make that mistake again! (I’m hoping they’ll fit once my tummy grows, as the cost to return was almost as much as I paid!)

Nice and snug on the legs and bum for me :) (again, they're the petite ones though, so can't speak for regular length) :)

OP posts:
Irishgirl55 · 04/01/2023 20:22

@imw88 I am NHS too, and im thinking of doing something similar to you. I took a year with my first but we were able to afford it because we were in lockdown and weren't out spending money!

RugbyGirl1 · 04/01/2023 20:23

I'm incredibly lucky with my mat pay - 6 months full pay, 13 weeks SMP then nothing. Not sure whether to take the full 12 months off then tag annual leave on the end, which will almost be another two months worth, or take 10 months mat and then two months annual leave. I'm not sure I'll want 14 months off work.... I earn a lot more than DH so planning on returning full time on compressed hours, with nursery 3 days a week and mum/ sis offering to take a day a week.

Awkwardusername · 04/01/2023 20:29

So sorry to change subject (if it helps, I get £0 maternity pay as I only found out I was pregnant one day before starting my new job!), but I’ve been having a really quickened heartbeat on an evening for the last couple of nights.
I’ve got a horrible cold at the moment so don’t want to annoy the midwife/pregnancy assessment unit if it’s just cause of that!
Anyone got any advice?

EllieJayneB · 04/01/2023 20:40

I'm still so unsure of our plan regarding maternity leave and going back etc...

This is our first baby so we've not had any experience beforehand, my company will only give the minimum of 6 weeks at 90% and then statutory (£156) for the remaining 33 weeks. At the moment I've just said I'm planning to take the whole year off but it depends on how we go with money...

I managed to sell my car and get £17,000 for it after just finding out I was pregnant so I plan to just get a crappy run around and use the rest of the money as a fall back plan during the time I don't get paid but we also will need to re-mortgage during my time off and I'm dreading it with the cost increases at the moment 🤦🏻‍♀️ I more than likely won't return to my previous job role as my boss got really funny with me when I told her I was pregnant and things haven't been the same since but also, it's a 45 min to an hour drive from home and I don't know if I feel comfortable being that far away incase I'm needed as my partner won't be able to come away from his work if needs be as he's a commercial tyre fitter. Childcare costs are CRAZY, so I'm hoping to try and find a work from home job or an evening job for when my partner is home from work but he thinks we won't have an issue with money and I can stay off until baby goes to school... next joke please 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

CatMad22 · 04/01/2023 21:00

@EllieJayneB I have the same idea about an evening job! What are you thinking? I used to be an English tutor and have been doing it on the side of my full time job ever since.

EllieJayneB · 04/01/2023 21:03

@CatMad22 if I'm honest... I have absolutely no idea as it would be completely out of the normal from my job currently. I've been in office jobs since I left school at 16 and currently work as a Sales Office Manager so I'm hoping to get something admin based working from home or if I go for an evening job, it may be a case of taking a course to qualify for something or just do anything like delivering, cleaning, supermarket warehouse or something along those lines 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm very open to whatever I go on to though...

CatMad22 · 04/01/2023 21:09

@EllieJayneB I'm in an office role too - in marketing but based at home. The problem is I don't want to pay for childcare and not sure my mum or mum in law can commit to two or three full days a week.. if I can't get a tutoring job or something freelance in the evenings I'd definitely consider a supermarket or similar as I used to quite enjoy retail when I was at uni!

Speaking of courses I found an education based one I'm thinking of starting this month to try and upskill before the baby comes. Maybe a virtual assistant job would be good for you? Or I saw a lot of customer service roles with evening hours, might suit your people skills from managing an office.

EllieJayneB · 04/01/2023 21:16

@CatMad22 I'm in the same position too. Sadly my partner's parents passed away before we even got together so I don't have any in-law's to ask for help and my mum has just been promoted in her job so she can't afford to drop to part time hours or leave to help with childcare so we'll be paying full costs if I can't work from home or get an evening job... I know working from home would not be easy with a child still but I'm willing to try until we've got a month or two behind to work out costs etc🤞🏻 I've never actually worked Retail but as I said, I'm pretty open to do anything if it means helping provide for my little family but the only thing that puts me off evening work is how much time me and the other half would spend away from each other and it would put a strain on our relationship too. It's funny you say that as I was thinking of looking in to virtual assistant roles etc but I'm not looking until I go on maternity leave so trying not to get too deep in that before baby has arrived etc 😊

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/01/2023 21:22

@lmw88 I've been trying to do calculations all day. I know the rules but cannot for the life of me work out what this will actually look like as a monthly value. You'd think the NHS would have a calculator given the pay is standardised 🙄 but ofc they dont

lmw88 · 04/01/2023 21:28

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl total mine field. You honestly would presume there's a calculator. Even asking those previously on Mat leave they don't really know how it was figured out. I've got a rough figure but who knows if it is right. Even if they gave a breakdown following application so to know what to expect.

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