TTC GRADUATES! Who's baby will we be welcoming first? Mrs? Seaside? Iampg? Beansprout?

[honeyapple]

Morning all

Dex did another stupendous sleep... had to wake him up to feed him and take DC to school. Fingers crossed this is a pattern he is going to stick to.

Fettle- hope Toby is ok with the jabs... Dex has got his 2nd lot next week. What is the third injection for? Did they do the polio one in his mouth yet? Dex only had 2 jabs first time around. That Messiah was a bit gruesome!

mrs- any action overnight?

Seaside and Iampg- a lot of the lovely ladies on here were early- Bodders you were 38 wks, i think??

Sorry- so excited about the pending births that I cant remember what I was going to say to anyone else!

hey! where is everyone?

ive been in gillingham today honey..........anywhere near you?

ha ha greedy- nope dont think i am pg- would be pretty amazing in light of general lack of sex...but i do feel sick in a similar way... I live about 45mins drive from gillingham- DP is a big gillingham footie fan.
when did you train to be an osteopath? I'm thinking i need to think about what to do with myself (other than being a mum)...Not thinking of osteopathy BTW- just wondered when you got into it.

rainbow- how's jak?

So what do you fancy doing Honey? Do you have hidden ambitions or are you looking for inspiration? Hope Derren Brown was good? Feel better? Would't it be amazing to ahve another pregnancy from our thread .

Sorry that wont be you Firsty - I was never sure whether you really wanted another or not so sorry to hear that you've reached a stalemate with DH. Its so tough because as you say there really isn't a compromise is there? I reckon its one of those things that you will get used to and before you know it it would seem strange having another after Ty. A friend of mine has been actively trying for about 2 years (she has a DD) but now thinks it wont happen and she's not really that upset by it anymore because she is so happy with her family the way it is . Good luck if you ever do bring it up again though...

Uurrgh, that journey sounds awful Fettle, but good on the kids for being so well behaved!! Theo also has one tooth!!!! Its very cute isn't it .

Hi Greedy!! Hope you are not too busy .

Good to hear from you Rainbow - hope Jak is settling in to his new home .

All is good here - Kids are great and we've had a brilliant day today at the zoo with some friends. Theo is now taking really lumpy food and is eating whole bits of pasta, fish and fruit which is great. No more puree!!!!! . Am so proud of him and it is so nice compared to DS1 who hated lumpy food for ages. Theo is so easy now to feed on the go as he'll just have whatever I'm having... I think it may be rubbing off on DS1 a bit as my non-veg-eating DS had some......... BROCOLLI yesterday . Long may this continue.

Going ot head off - DH has a pal round and I'm going to take advantage of a early night

• my best friend has just rung to say her baby has died at 36 weeks pg. She gave birth to her baby girl yesterday after finding no heartbeat on tues (my DD's and her Goddaughter's birthday). Just didn't know what to say to her, but I can't stop crying.

xxx

(sorry to lower the tone, just had to tell someone).

oh fettle how awful- that is really the worst thing to happen . Do they know why the baby died? I know you will find a way to help your friend through this.

Oh fettle that is so awful - SANDS is a really helpful and supportive organisation - I have had 2 friends go through similar things -one friend had a tragic stilbirth and another found no heartbeat at 32 weeks so like to your friend had to deliver her baby. There are no words and it will be a horrible time I am sorry to say. All you can do is be there for hugs and crying and anger and support - big {{{hugs}}} for you too

Oh Fettle how awful for your friend... that is so cruel isn't it . As Honey has said I know that once the shock has passed for you too then you will find the right way to support your friend. SANDS is extremely helpful and I'm sure she will be guided to other organisations by the people looking after her - at least I'd hope so. In time it may be nice to get her a necklace or something she can wear / keep that reminds her of her little girl, either birthstone or her name or something similar. I know I treasure my necklace as it really makes me feel connected to the fact I had 3 little boys. My heart goes out to her... . Was she her first baby?

Hi all

Thanks for your messages - I had another long chat with her this morning and we talked about the labour and what happened at the hospital. It sounds as if the hospital and staff were absolutely fantastic with them. They were allowed to cuddle her in the delivery suite and afterwards back in the special family room, designed just for these occasions (means DH/DPs can stay as well after the birth so the mother is not left alone while she is in hospital). They have photos, hand and feet prints as well as a lock of her hair.

I sent them a Peace Lily plant so that they would have a living memory of their daughter and I will keep in close contact with her. I'll probably go up and see her in the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, hope you are all having a lovely weekend.

xxx

Oh Fettle, that is so awful for your poor friend. It must be hard for you to know how best to help, but it sounds like you are being wonderfully supportive - I'm sure she will be so pleased to see you.

No time to post more now. Will be back in more regular contact next week once school hols are over.

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OMG fettle, how truly awful for your friend. really puts everything into perspective doesn't it? you kind of assume once you are near the end of pg that everything will be ok and just look forward to getting the birth over with. how awful for something like that to happen so late on. not that there is ever a good time obviously, but you know what i mean. i really really cant imagine what it must be like for her and her partner. makes me feel really lucky and ashamed of all the times i moan about my kids. like everyone has said, you sound like you are doing everything right for her and you seem like a great friend to have in times of need.

Thanks girls for your support - I've not heard from my friend again - just texted her. Not sure if I should just ring her or not? Any thoughts? i don't want to keep hassling her, but i want her to know that i'm here to talk to if she wants to.

Anyway.......

Toby is now definitely rolling, so going to have to start watching what is around and about when I put him down now. He also has a 2nd tooth about to poke through, finally took 3 ozs of formula from a bottle, got pretty good at sucking water from a cup and he is no longer a vegetarian!!!! So a pretty exciting day all in all for my little boy!!!! AND DD was in a brilliant mood all day, so had a good day really. Can't stop thinking about my friend, but life has to go on and it's made me really appreciate what I've got. Won't be complaining about my lack of sleep so easily anymore!

How is everyone else doing? Can't believe how low down the list this thread had got, so you're obviously all being very busy!

Firsty - sorry to hear that you and DH are unagreed on the another baby front. Do you think there's any chance he may change his mind? What would he say if you got pg by accident? (I'm not implying you do anything sneaky, just wondering what his reaction would be). Did you have a good week off with Ty?

Honey - how exciting? Thinking of retraining. I'm wondering what I'm going to do. Definitely don't want to go back to my old company full-time, but we've realised that we need me to work or at least get some money a month so we can have a certain quality of life.

Greedy - glad to hear that your work is going well - you were worried you were going to lose clients taking maternity leave, but doesn't sound as if it has hindered you in anyway.

Chooster - thanks for the idea of the birth stone - I'll have a look and see what I can find. Do you mind me asking how you lost your son? Good old DS1 eating broccoli, can't want his younger brother growing up stronger than him!!

Seaside - how is little cassius getting on? Still sleeping well?

Rainbowy - how is life settling down with baby Jak? How have your other DC taken to him?

Scorpio - how you getting on? Any signs yet?

Iamamum - where you? hope not too tired. Or maybe you are busy making more babies?!

Bodders - I've e-mailed you.

Right, big waves to all I've missed - off for an early night - DH is upstairs working, so I'm going to get to bed with a book. hoping for good weather tomorrow as we are off for a picnic!

Take care all
xxx

hi ladies

rainbow - huge congrats on baby jak being born safe and sound, cant wait to hear your story

fettle - im so so sorry to hear of your friends loss, its heartbreaking to think that this happens to people

sorry i have been absent for a while, my troubles seem laughable and rather selfish when i read some of your posts on here but to be honest with you all i have been struggling a bit the last few weeks. im so happy to have my son and love him to bits i think its just life in general getting me down. i feel like im on my own at the moment as dp is just carrying on with life as normal and not taking into consideration we have a newborn. things are just a bit up and down.

love and hugs to you all xxx

Iamamummy - sorry to hear its getting on top of you a bit - it is a bit of a lifechanging thing - takes a while to find your old self again... be kind to yourself and let your dp know how you're feeling xx]#

fettle - i didn't get an email....

gotta go xx

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fettle - your little toby did have an exciting day didnt he?!! i have decided that marcy is 6 months even though she still officially has 2 days left to go! and she had chicken yesterday for the first time too!!! i have been trying to get her to use a cup for the last couple of weeks too and she is sort of getting the hang of it! she keeps blowing raspberries into it though and then when she takes her mouth away the milk or water shoots out and covers her face!!! quite amusing for me and the other kids but she always looks a bit shocked and then does a big gummy grin when she realises we are pissing ourselves laughing at her!! she has had bread now too and yoghurt!!! i feel like she can suddenly have so much to eat its quite excitng!!! not sure what i would say about your friend, everyones different arent they. my work collegue has just lost her husband and i really dont know if i should ring her or not, so i have only texted so far. i will leave it a week or so and then ring i think.

firsty - it doesnt seem fair that you DO want another baby and dh DOESN'T and he gets his own way by default if you know what i mean. have you told him how much you REALLY want another one? i can imagine you being too nice to really stress how much you want another one in case you seem like you are pushing him, but you should definately make sure he knows. anyway, has nothing to do with me so i'll shut up now!!!

iamamummy - you are only human! i think everyone goes through what you are going through at the moment after having their first baby. like bodders said its a big shock to the system and no one can really prepare you for how you will feel afterwards and partners/husbands are never as involved or bonded and i dont think it affects them half as much as it does us women. just give oscar lots of cuddles and try to enjoy him while he's ickle.

honey - it took me 4 years to train to become a chiropractor ( i am NOT an osteopath! they are the ENEMY!!!) i had to do it and work part time at the same time to pay for it cos it cost about ..........£30k ....yikes!!!......to train! what are you thinking of doing? did we agree on a date to meet up by the way? i thought we had but i didnt put anything on my calender.

cant believe marcy is nearly 6 months old!!! she is nowhere near sitting up! my other two were both sitting up by the time they were 6 months but marcy doesnt even seem close! she is in 9-12 month clothes now the little pudding, but i havent had her weighed for weeks so im not sure how her weight is going! (i lost 3 1/2 lbs this week!!! yippee!!!!!!) i am now finally back to about what i was when i got pg with marcy! but i am desperately trying to lose weight for my hols. we have booked 2 weeks in turkey going in mid may, so i dont have long to get my bikini bod in shape!!! not looking forward to the 4 hour flight with a hefty marcy on my lap but cant wait for the sun and beach and pool etc!!!!

hi all- easter hols here- so infrequent posting from me for a bit...

Greedy- yes the 25th i think for a meet up... sorry about the osteo/chiro mix up Dex has already been enjoying yoghurt ...

DS1 has just gone to the shop BY HIMSELF to get some butter to make cakes... and he is back . It is a 7 mins walk... never gone on his own before...but he is 9...that's ok isnt it??

firsty- just want to say that my DP was totally against having more kids... but i felt that he needed to realise the depth of my feelings and how i didnt want to regret not having another... anyway, obviously he did come around to my way of thinking! And he adores Dex .

right gotta go make cakes!

Hi all

Just quickly - probably missed you Bodders, but i've resent the e-mail, but it was about meeting tomorrow - probably too late, if you don't get this or my e-mail though!

Iamamum - echo what the others have said - you're feeling totally normal and DF is probably finding it hard to adapt too! Talking is the key, if you're not too tired.

Toby loves yoghurt too!

Had an exhausting day out today - it's been so warm and lovely, such a change from yesterday's snow!

must get some supper for my tired DC now!

xxx

Wow its been busy here! DH selfishly went away with work for a couple of days and took the pc with him. Anyone would think I use his work PC or something . Anyway the boys were great for me while he was away and Theo has finally been sleeping better. The last few nights he's gone through til 5am or 6am so we are heading in the right direction .

Totally agree with the others Iampg - I can really remember times sitting in our house when DH had gone out with friends and feeling pretty miserable... nothing to do with Max your but just because life had changed so much. The great thing is that things do get better and pretty quickly too and you really dont ahve the same feelings second time round as you'll be an old hand by then . Really hope you get some good quality time with Df soon as that will soon make things seem good again.

I think a text to your friend is a good idea fettle. I remember when I lost my little boy hardly anyone ever mentioned it and that made me sad, but the circumstances were different so maybe people felt awkward . With my boy there were problems found at the 12 week scan but it was undiagnosed until 21 weeks when his condition was found to be incompatible with life. He would have died before birth or as soon as he was born so we decided to terminate the pregnancy. Like your friend my labour was induced and it was a pretty grim time. I have a lovely little box with all his things in, scan pics, hospital ID bracelet and the paperwork and gifts from the hospital. They brought him to us after birth wrapped in a lovely blanket which we kept. Perhaps you could get your friend a nice box in which she can keep things related to her daughter?

Wow, what a time Toby is having!!!! He must be exhausted with all this growing up!! .

Oh, gotta go - DH says food is ready...

Hi everyone

Fettle - still haven't got the e-mail! Have you got the right address?! What did it say anyway?

Chooster - sounds like Theo is going great guns with the sleeping... we still seem to be on 2 feeds a night which is a bit draining. I am undecided whether to continue doing the dreamfeed at 10.30 (I stopped doing it while she was poorly as she was waking up loads in the evening and night anyway) I didn't do it last night and she woke at 12.30 which, frankly, is a shitty time to have to haul one's carcass out of bed and sit in the freezing cold. She then woke at 5.30 and I fed her in our bed and she fell asleep on my chest until 7am(which was actually lovely - you don't get many moments like that at this age do you!) Anyway, i'll see how she does tonight - if no better I shall reinstate it. She is doing fairly well on the solids now, so I feel she ought to be sleeping better (certainly my mother feels she ought to be )

Anyway, Greedy found me having a moan over on another thread... which has now been made "discussion of the day" But things are improving all the time, and we are getting some lovely moments. She really is just like DD1 - as she nears 9 months I can see a real change in her... so much more interested in the world around her (rather than just screwing up her eyes and screaming at it!) and so much happier now she is cruising (I hate that word - sounds like she is hanging round Hampstead Heath men's loos or something)... it is very sweet - she stands at one end of the sofa and I sit on the floor at the other end - then she shuffles along the length of the sofa and buries her head in my chest for a cuddle! Bless 'er!

Well this is all a bit me me me and i'm supposed to be trying to fix our printer so I can do some work... oops!

Oh BTW Honeyapple - I'm pretty sure I used to go to the corner shop to get the family allowance and 20 silk cut for my mum when I was about 9! If that helps! It must be quite a moment when they go off on their own though... were you a nervous wreck for those 7 minutes

Oh that's annoying Bodders - I was replying to an e-mail you'd sent me, so I assume it is the right address! Anyway, it said that I was feeling adventurous and did you still want to meet up today, but as it is now 9am and I doubt you'll check on here in the next hour, it probably won't happen! Shame as I have nothing else to do today!

Chooster - that must have been a pretty awful experience and decision to make. Had another long chat with my friend last night. She's sounding quiet and tired, but better than I would be in the circumstances. She has decided she wants to see her little girl again before they bury her, as she realised she hadn't even held her hand. They've made all the plans for the funeral now as well - must have been so so hard.

Honey - not sure when I'll even let DD out of my sight - this whole thing with Madelaine has made me paranoid about her going out of my sight - must get over it, but she still is only little!

Anyway, best be off.

xxx

NEWSFLASH Dexter sits!
Have added a photo as proof!

Fettle- It is hard to let your child go off on their own- but important I think for them to feel like they have some independance and that they need to think for themselves (obviously wouldnt be letting DD do it for a while yet though). DS1 hasnt stopped talking about his trip! There is a programme tommorrow night I think called 'cotton wool kids' about how paranoid parents are becoming and subsequently not letting their children do stuff- could be interesting. I remember going to the corner shop to buy halfpenny sweets with 10p when I was little- but dont know how old I was. Will have to ask my mum.

Bodders- PMSL at Isla 'cruising'!

Lovely sunny day here- went to the park and fed the ducks- and Dex had his first swing and went down a slide on DD's lap (very small slide BTW!). He wasnt too keen on the swing though but loved the ducks .

Gotta clean the house as MIL is coming over later...

Fettle - I'm sooooo sorry I didn't get your e-mail... Greedy will accuse me of chickening out, but I didn't get it until today, honest!!!!! I didn't turn the computer on this morning because otherwise DD1 is pestering me to play on it all morning, and I just assumed the e-mail was to cancel... I went over to my sister's in the end. Sorry you were stuck with nothing to do today... anyway, I've e-mailed you back with some other times we could do it

That made me well-up about your friend wanting to hold the baby's hand... it must be very hard to say goodbye

Honey - can't believe Dex is sitting at 5 months! That's fab. He is still as delicious looking as ever!

Never mind Bodders - but interestingly i've not got your e-mail yet - maybe something wrong with either of our systems? Anyway, if we want to do with my DD, it will have to wait until holidays again, as she is back at school next week - but we will have to do it. Your cruising Isla sounds so so sweet!

I read your "discussion of the day" thread - I hope you don't feel you can't let us know on here when you are having a bad time. TBH I feel that I'm always letting you guys know when Toby (or DD) are playing up, that I feel like I'm always moaning on here!

Then again, we've had another good day today. Went to a local adventure playground for a picnic and a play and DD was in great form all day. It only seems that when she is with certain friends or DH that she has a break-down (or totally and utterly exhausted - had the most monumental screaming fit in the bath last night, as I tried to wash her hair,when she wanted to do it!). DH is out tonight and DD wanted to watch the swimming with me, so we both got into bed after Toby had settled at 6.45pm and both fell asleep pretty quickly! I've only just carried her back to her own bed - but toby has just woken, which is very early for him. I was hoping that now his 2 bottom teeth are through he'd start sleeping better, but suppose there's another 18 to go isn't there?! I'm clinging onto the thought that he must be waking due to pain and/or hunger as during the day he can put himself to sleep quite happily from wide awake, if he's tired, so don't see why he doesn't do that at night when he wakes up like he used to. But i'm not sure I can cope with 3 wakes a night for much longer!

Anyway, that was all a bit me me me....

honey - Dexter looks as gorgeous as ever - very clever boy sitting up so early - definitely must be his low centre of gravity! Toby can sit for a few minutes at most, but then falls forwards/backwards/sideways towards whichever toy has grabbed his attention! I know what you mean about letting your DC go - have to admit that today DD was quite often out of sight and reach while climbing up and down all the equipment, so she (and me!) are getting braver!

Right - big waves to everyone else - I'm going to go back to sleep now. I've done what chores I have to do tonight, the rest can wait until morning! Just hoping stirring Toby settles and lets me sleep!

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