Due Feb/Mar after MC 🌈 🙈 Thread 2

[MooBugz]

New thread following the almost full last one! Sorry if I missed the tag for anyone 😬

@Ally256 @madeinthe80z @Lmcc88 @OceanbreezeSun @doingitalllagain @RedElleJ @STom2 @WonderWoop @LittleLottle @Skylark1990 @Rubes1234 @Hagster @JoKB @Gamergirl84 @Franklin321

@doingitalllagain So sorry to hear you had norovirus too! But somewhat relieved to have someone on here that's gone through the same thing and come out the other side. I've honestly never felt so sick in my life. Total shell of a human being and any reservations I might have had about dealing with a toddler after a C section have been shelved as I've literally barely been able to cuddle him for days let alone pick him up. DH has been amazing.

Glad your maternity unit admitted you. Mine told me to come to their triage at 6am yesterday and when I go there they sent me packing off to A&E without so much as looking at me. Appreciate its a contagious virus and I certainly wouldn't want to put anyone at risk. But my concern when I called them was I was no longer keeping fluids down and the impact it was having on baby. I felt very dismissed.

Thanks @Skylark1990 will check that out; I thought it was maybe iron but chocolate increase yes yes I can do that 🤣

@STom2 that's crap you felt dismissed I find that it's hit and miss depending on who you get through to. With my first baby we had to call 3 times before they would let me come in for contractions pain because the times were not consistent even though I couldn't manage at home anymore (baby was back to back) and the only reason they ok to me coming is was they had protocol of a patient calls 3 separate times then 4th time invite them in. The midwife was very dismissive and laughed telling me I would be another 12-15hoursnin labour least. Fast forward to one hour on when my son came into the world and I got to say I told you so!

That's awful @MooBugz! I fully appreciated that I have a contagious tummy bug which was why I waited the first few days out at home. It was only when it got dramatically worse and I was getting sick every 15 mins I knew I'd to get checked for baby's sake. The kicker for me was I called them and they explicitly told me to come in to them. So I had my DH get my son out of bed at 6am to drive me to maternity wing. I sent them away as said there was no point them waiting around. To then be told by person on reception that midwives decided I needed to be seen by A&E first. I'd to trek there in the dark, with a sick bowl in my hand. Got into A&E and told it was up to an 8 hour wait! While I sat there being sick into a bowl. Honestly one of worst points I've had.

Also, your story reminds me of what happened me after delivery of my DS. I kept telling them I was nauseous and I was retching in front of them (was worried about c section stitches tearing). 3 times I asked for anti sickness (which I was told in theatre I'd get). Then head midwife changed shift. And said I didn't need anti sickness I simply needed to let my body recover and to have nothing but water. So what followed was a night where I basically starved myself after a major surgery. Lesson learned on that one...

Hi all.. I am 26w1d tomorrow and have the 25th week midwife appointment.. when she made contact with me to fix the appointment, she mentioned I will also be getting the whooping cough vaccine.. has anyone had it in current/previous pregnancies? If so how was your experience? What side effects did you have? Thanks xx

@STom2 that's awful treatment! Both stories. I had such a bad birthing experience all round with my first and he had cord round his neck twice too when coming out and he is disabled which we only found out on day3 of his life so I never went back to that hospital I felt really let down overall and feel that could have been avoided but that's something I've had to make peace with over the years otherwise I go crazy. I contemplated taking nhs to court but it wouldn't change anything physically and just get on with it but lesson learned always go with your gut and even if your a first time mum your gut doesn't lie.

@drV I had the whooping cough and flu for all my pregnancies, no side effects at all not even a sore arm this time! x

@MooBugz You were massively let down by your hospital trust. I'm so sorry to hear this.

I think I'm clearly terrible at advocating for myself. I really need to be better. I've a bit of a blind tendancy to trust what medical professionals tell me. I certainly learned my lesson after C Section with DS (which was otherwise totally fine and smooth sailing, but the aftercare was rubbish). I think it didn't help it was in covid times so DH was sent home an hour after the operation so I was overwhelmed and on my own.

@Dhrv I had whooping cough in first pregnancy and was due again last week for this one but had to cancel due to illness. I recall it being fairly straight forward but perhaps expect your arm to be sore for a couple of days around the site of the injection.

@STom2 I really was and what made it worse was the signs were all there but midwife didn't pick up on them after. The trouble breastfeeding, the urate crystals in his nappy, the holding of breath/arching (which later turned out was seizures 😞) and when I made my complaint the midwife hadn't taken comprehensive notes during our visits so it was my word against nothing so it was a really really bad time. They didn't even have it recorded that I had breastfeeding support out to my home to help or that they had told me to buy infacol for gas for the baby. It really was a poor show all round but as I said I've put it behind me otherwise I find myself back there and it brings up a lot of unsettling feelings but when I look at my boy I forget the struggle 😊

Anyways sorry for the neg vibes there guys what I'm trying to say is always go with your gut even if your a first time mum. I knew something wasn't right and trusted the advice of the professionals and lived to regret it. I know it's not always like that but better to be safe than sorry ♥️

Currently sat for my two hour wait for the GDD, the drink wasn't so bad this time it was orange flavour! Started of tasting like a calypso kids juice then slowly felt sickly haha

@MooBugz @STom2 so sorry you both had to go through so much at the hospital.. it's very unsettling when we are dismissed like that by the healthcare, the people we trust the most during our vulnerable time! I am under consultant led care for this pregnancy and even the consultant seems to be very dismissive, we discussed few matters during my 20th week appointment, never got a positive response from her and she didn't even know how far along I was in the Pregnancy 🙄 felt weird tbh!

I am totally ok with the sore arm part - last week, had my covid booster.. it literally knocked me out for 48 hours.. fever, chills and sore arm! Let's see how whooping cough vaccine goes🤞🏻

@MooBugz @STom2 I'm so sorry to hear you've had those negative experiences. I'd 100% agree with the 'listen to your gut' and 'advocate for yourself' message - in labour with my DS I was told my contractions weren't contractions (they called them"tightenings" 🤬) which meant a rather difficult early labour. The rest of labour was good once they realised I actually was in labour and cared for me accordingly, and I did actually get an apology from the midwife who said "you just seemed too calm" 🙄 so I guess my advice is wail like a banshee and they will listen?! But in all seriousness I had a very positive birth with my son overall so I also don't want to scare anyone - I'd just agree that you need to advocate forcefully for yourself (or make sure your partner does).

@drV I had the whopping cough vaccine last week and I didn't notice any side effects. Can't remember any from last time either. Hope it is the same for you!

In positive news, pretty sure me and DH have decided on a name for the baby, which is nice considering getting him to talk about names is like getting blood from a stone (I appreciate that it's a defence due to our past experience but at 27 weeks, she's obviously going to have a name no matter what happens).

@Hagster I'm definitely noting a bit of a trend on how necessary it is to advocate for yourself and to not just accept something as is because they are in the position of authority. Had a full chat with DH about it earlier and definitely don't plan to make same mistake again!!

Found a really good deal online and couldn't resist, ordered the pram I've been so scared of making big purchases, I'm worried I've jinxed it now but it can be my way of celebrating getting to the third trimester

@Hagster thanks for the reminder we've not even looked into names yet so it got me thinking tonight!

@doingitalllagain congrats on the big purchase what did you end up going for? We have the babystyle egg system which we've used for all three so far and hubby wants to keep it for this one too but I'm tempted by an uppababy vista which I wanted years ago and can get it off gumtree so we'll see if I cave or not haha 😆

We went for a big expensive full travel system last time and it took up so much boot space and was such a faff, we sold it after a few months and just picked up a cheap Joie litetrax 3 and it's served us so well! We've upgraded a bit but still just gone for a Joie Versatrax this time with the carry cot too, in the pretty sage green colour It's not as fancy as an Egg (jealous, I wanted one in a shop last month but not for £1200!) but it looks so pretty and we've been really impressed with our Joie stuff. We didn't get the full travel system as we've already got a Joie spin360 from our first so only had to spend £360!

Just an update.. I wasn't given whooping cough vaccine today, for some unknown reason the vaccination nurse had cancelled her clinic.. don't know when it's going to be again, the receptionist at the surgery said she would contact me in few days 😬

Also the midwife raised the topic of mode of delivery.. I have decided to go with ELCS and told her so.. she mentioned I need to discuss it with the consultant as I am under the consultant led care team.. I just wanted to ask you all, when were you asked about your choices and if anyone had ELCS as your choice, was it difficult to convince your doctor/ midwife? Apparently my consultant is not at all keen on offering me a section 😐

@doingitalllagain that's a nice travel system and I love the sage too it looks very smart great choice. Our egg is 7 years old but I've tried to keep it in good condition it's black for the pushchair bit, carrycot for it is white and the tandem we had was purple! So a little bit if everything lol. It was that or the icandy at the time and everyone was going for icandy so we went for egg and never looked back. There's so much choice nowadays too so can't really fault any choice!

@drV I never had a problem choosing a C-section but I did have a bad tear the previous time and risked Incontinence so maybe that's why. Although tbh it's not like the old days where you only had a section if it was advised, these days you have the choice so it should be up-to you and hopefully get through the consult ok

I'm so sorry some of you have have had such bad experiences at hospital, during pregnancy or labour. It's really sad, we need a properly funded NHS! For the most part I felt quite looked after but I didn't appreciate being told I should have an induction/ section due to a "big" baby despite no other risk factors and having all sorts of scare tactics thrown at me! Luckily I had a good midwife and a doula and I did trust my instincts and didn't go for early intervention. And she was not super big at all!
But after the birth they were very kind and gave me my own room as we were in for about a week. This gave me lots of skin to skin time with DD and loads of support breastfeeding. Tho I did have to ask for it! So I echo others - trust your instincts,and ask for support! Don't be shy.

@doingitalllagain that travel system is lovely!! I wish I could justify getting a new one as I'd defo get it haha. Love the sage green and seems so affordable 💚

@STom2 how are you feeling?

Re names I think we have some boys names sorted but so lost on girls names... Have a few that we like but nothing I LOVE. Hopefully inspiration strikes !!

@drV Well I had an elective caesarean first time around as DS was oblique breech and would not budge. I've said from get go this time around I wanted an elective section again, and this morning at my consultant appointment she fully booked me in for it and we signed the consent forms. So there was zero convincing. You're entitled to the birth you want and they can't refuse that. They just need to make you aware of the risks associated with it.

@skylark1990 Slowly crawling back to the land of the living thanks. Started to eat tiny amounts yesterday and slept well the last 2 nights. Need to catch up on a lot of eating so energy levels still incredibly low. So I'm slowly trying to work on that today. The reflux/heartburn still bad but improving slowly also. I'm actually starving and want to eat everything in sight (which is a great sign), but afraid of the heartburn/reflux that it entails. Plain rice is so depressing.

On the plus side I made them check baby this morning too and he's still happy out in there.

Thank you@Skylark1990 and @MooBugz for sharing your experiences🤗 it makes me feel much better now, knowing that my choice will be heard!

Also I would be so grateful if someone can clarify a couple of doubts regarding baby's movements.

1. How would you define reduced movements/ changed pattern of movements?
2. If you notice that the pattern of your baby's movements have changed, would you try to encourage them to move? Like by eating or having a sweet drink, lying down on your side etc? Because, some websites say you could do this and even then if you baby doesn't move, you need to call mw/doctor. But NHS and Tommy's say otherwise.

This is all so confusing and mind boggling 😰 I feel like I am constantly worried about baby's movements.. some days she keeps moving most of the time, irrespective of me lying down or trying to get her move. Other days, she moves only when I lie down for a while. So on days like the latter, do I ring my mw straightaway?!

Hello everyone,

I’ve been lurking a bit lately - have been so busy but have a week off now ☺️

Sorry to hear about the bad experiences - I am hoping that at my next appointment my midwife is a bit warmer. However. I’ve been reading the positive birth book, attending antenatal yoga and a breastfeeding course so, I am preparing myself to advocate.

We got a bunch of stuff from Mama’s and Papa’s. Ended up with the Ocarro travel system in Dales green - thankfully we shopped last month for it and secured a really good deal on it, even better than Black Friday. We also just bought a chest of drawers and bookshelf for her room too, so I am well and truly tapped out of cash now 😂

We’ve had a name sorted for a while now - does anyone else feel a bit superstitious that if they tell anyone that it’s a bit like jinxing things. We won’t be telling anyone (apart from family) until she is born but I really hope I don’t slip up and say her name by accident.

Has anyone got any advice on clothes for baby? I am a bit lost with all the different sizes and what I need/don’t need. I feel like I have most other things covered but any other advice is much appreciated 🙏🏻

@RedElleJ that awesome, you had got most of the work done!

I have bought only clothes till now! We are going to mamas and papas this weekend.. hopefully we'll be able to get some good deals!

About clothes sizing, I got a mixture of 'upto 1 month' / newborn and 0-3 months sizes, just in case my girl decides to come earlier by few weeks. For example, I have got 10 sleepsuits, among which, 4 are upto 1 month size and the rest are 0-3 months. I don't know how efficient this is, but it felt right and so I did buy. Being first time mum is so confusing 😂

Also I found this video on YouTube quite helpful.

*have

Sorry for the all the incessant questioning 😬 I was kind of settling calmly into this pregnancy and then I heard some real bad news from home, which has made me Anxious and jittery again 😐

@RedElleJ glad to hear you're doing some reading and the courses and they're making you feel informed! ❤️

I did a list of clothing for my sister when she had a baby after me, I'll share here in case helpful:

Clothing - fuss free, breathable cotton & wool outfits are best for babies as they cannot
regulate their own temperature. Steer clear of synthetic materials. Use babygrows
because t-shirts ride up. Layering is key for colder days and nights. You can often get
great clothing bundles super cheap on Facebook Marketplace or similar. As a minimum starting point
you might want to get:

• 8-10 each of singlet, t shirt and long sleeve baby grows, leggings/track pants,

and 8-10 sleep suits in a mixture of newborn and 0-3month sizing. DD was too big for newborn from day 1. 0-1 or 0-3m sizes were great for us.

• A couple of woollen cardigans and jumpers
• A couple of cotton cardigans and jumpers
• Scratch mitts - 2 or 3 pairs
• Socks / booties - 5 or 6 pairs
• Two hats - wool & cotton
• Couple of special outfits for memories

@STom2 glad you're feeling better! I know what you mean about being hungry but scared to eat, due to my gastritis I've been really limited in what I can eat lately and it's so depressing! 😫

@drV might be worth raising these concerns with your midwife so she can guide you as to what to do when you don't feel lots of movement...Is your placenta anterior? X