Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

I think with or without symptoms we are all going to be super worried until we can feel actual kicks etc! Then we get to worry about the pattern of kicks...😰

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl Totally agree with you! I have realised that I will always have something to worry about. I told myself once I get past 9 weeks I’d be fine. Then I worried until I got to 12 weeks and told myself I’d be fine once I had the dating scan. Here I am at almost 16 weeks panicking about the gender scan I’ve booked and telling myself once I know the gender I’ll be fine.

I think in reality I’ll still be worrying and hoping to get to each milestone the whole pregnancy

I don't think the food will have done any harm but it's hard not to worry I know. Instead of avoiding paninis you could just have the veggie ones?

I just googled nub theory. I've heard people on Mumsnet talking about it. Anyway it's just for fun but I had a go and think I am having a girl!

thegenderexperts.com/pages/nub-theory

I got my harmony test results back - all very low for trisomy issues thank god. But the sex result was inconclusive! Had a massive panic about it, but apparently it can happen in 2 percent of tests and the doctor rang me to reassure me and said they know the sex but it's below the threshold so don't want to confirm.

I naturally don't care about the sex but got myself really worked up that there might be a sex chromosomal issue.

My DH was like, you need to chill out otherwise you will never relax again. It's so hard not to stress!

@Janefx40 from that link and the scan I think we might be having a boy. I have a feeling it’s a boy too. We are going to try and find out at the 20week scan.

I don't think the nub is visible on my scan @Janefx40 ! Happy to share it here if anyone fancies a guess. My guess is girl but with no evidence at all 🤣

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl oooo yes share if you want to.

I doubt it's a very accurate test but we have a 50% chance of being right anyway.

@MO22 how frustrating about the sex but great that you are low risk! They test for sex chromosome abnormalities so it will just be a testing error thing as they say. I'm glad s/he is healthy x

@Janefx40 here's an 11 week scan and 12+6 if you fancy a guess!

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl your baby is cute! Obviously I really have no idea but my guess is a girl. I'm assuming that white line is the nub but really it could be anything

I’ve had a scan at 11, 12 and 14 weeks and can’t see a nub on mine at all!
We have our gender scan in 4 days 😳

Exciting @MRSDoos! I've made my peace with the fact I won't know gender until Jan with my 21w scan!

When does everyone have their next scans? Are people waiting until 20w NHS ones or having a private in between?

@MO22 I've booked private for 16 weeks then my NHS one is actually at 19 ish weeks. Not planning on officially finding out sex - girl is just my vague guess, now backed by @Janefx40 😄

@MO22 I'm on the fence. I think I'll see how I feel after the midwife appt next week. If that goes well and hear heartbeat on Doppler that may tide me over. Otherwise, I expect there'll be a private scan around 18wks (which is also the earliest they can look at anomalies, I think). My 20w scan is on 16 Dec.l and I feel like I need to tell work earlier than that, but definitely not currently feeling secure enough to do it. 🤷‍♀️

@Melusina123 I'd love a cheeky Doppler to tide me over but my next midwife appt is Jan 11th and 21w scan Jan 12th! So no reassurance for a little while unless I go private.

I feel like it's a very long time to wait... And I didn't think I'd be quite so worried about anomalies but I think that's because my brain never even thought past the 12w scan! Will just have to see how I go.

Thinking I'll tell work on Tues... Am nervous but Christmas season is upon us so I think it's time. I'd rather wait until January but not sure how I'll hide it over the next month. I also want to give them time to find a replacement - I'm on six months notice as it is (don't ask, I'm an idiot) so I feel like I kinda want to give them the same re maternity.

@MO22 @Melusina123 I've told my direct clinical supervisor already and will tell my formal line manager at 16wks. Then depends how happy I feel after 16 weeks as to whether or not I will tell other team members

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl my direct boss is the only one that knows and she guessed quite early. I know she hasn't told anyone. We were in a really stressful work situation and she gave me an out at the time which I appreciated (I didnt take it as work was a great distraction during those horrible.early weeks!). I only want to tell HR and the partners of the business but there is NO WAY it will not get around, no one can keep their mouth shut. I also lead a team so feel like I should probably tell them but I'm not ready to yet!

I have such bad memories of having to "un-tell" close friend and family last time that the thought of having to do that with work people as well feels horrible and like I'm jinxing it or something.

My 20w scan is on 21st December.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I would guess a girl as well from the scans.

I told a colleague the other day, he organises cover for when I disappear. Although he said he won’t/can’t do anything until I tell HR. So now I’m contemplating when to tell HR. Whether to just do it now or on the 21st Dec.

So much chat on here! Regarding scans, I'm with a recurrent miscarriage clinic and they scan me every 4 weeks so next one is 16 weeks on 29th Nov (when I'll actually only be 15+3). Then my NHS 20 week scan is 5th Jan. We can see the specialist at the clinic but he prefers to do it from 21 weeks so it would be afterwards. I may book an 18 week too because we need to tell our 3 year old at some point. I'd like to wait until 20 weeks but we're going to a family wedding on 2nd Jan and I think everyone is going to mention the pregnancy so it may be hard to hide from her.

I've told my boss because of all the IVF and a couple of close colleagues but no one else. Next in person meeting is 14th Dec when I will be huge so have to tell the rest then.

Xxx

@MO22 this is why I didn't tell parents this time until 11 weeks - the "un-telling" was hideous and I hope I never have to do it again.

Mentally struggling this weekend. Don't feel particularly pregnant anymore and finding all the stages hard it turns out! Wish I could just know for sure if it would be okay so I could enjoy feeling much better (nausea all gone and energy better).

@MO22 honestly un-telling was worse than the procedure for me. It's made me really reluctant to tell anyone this time. Even with iur parents (who we ended up having to tell) I've been trying to stop them getting excited.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl first tri was a mindfck with the symptom spotting; second tri has so far been a mindfck with the lack of symptoms... and I'm sure third tri is a mindfck with the counting kicks, etc. The whole thing is an ordeal really, isn't it?

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I totally know what you mean. It's so hard without the early pregnancy symptoms. I can't wait to start feeling movement (no more early flutters since beginning of last week so maybe wind!).

We should get our test results at the end of next week and I thought I'd feel more confident then but as we won't have had a scan for quite a while by then, I already feel like i don't know if the baby is still there.

This is hard but if it works out, it will be worth it x

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Janefx40 @Melusina123 I agree about the lack of symptoms and it being hard. I don’t feel pregnant, I get tired around 8pm and go to the toilet more frequently in the night but other than that, nothing symptom wise. I still have 4.5 weeks until the next scan.

Can anyone else feel their uterus in their abdomen? I can feel mine, particularly in the morning (it seems full bladder and bowel push it up and forward so more prominent). Other than some mild nausea and tiredness it's literally my only sign that I'm pregnant so I do sit/walk around with my hand on it sometimes just to feel it's there. 😳

We told close friends today and now feel really anxious, like I've jinxed it. Most had already guessed but feeling worried still. Everyone was really lovely and I felt good initially but now I'm really feeling the panic. @Melusina123 ordeal does feel like the right word and that makes me sad as I really, really want this baby and wish I could enjoy it more.

Symptoms wise I'm still feeling sick in the mornings but I'm a bit behind a lot of you I think in terms of timing - otherwise just tired but not much else symptom wise. I guess that's second trimester right?

@Melusina123 I've not felt that one. Do you mean you can literally feel it if you press your abdomen? I'm so bloated from the progesterone and so far from eating biscuits when I was nauseous that I'm not sure I can feel much in there 😂

@MO22 sorry the initial joy of telling friends has faded. This isn't easy x