Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

Hope you're all doing ok, unfortunately an early scan yesterday for me showed the baby stopped growing a few weeks ago. I'm having an MVA today. Feeling sad but ok, after such a late loss last time this is easier to cope with in some ways. Best of luck to all the rest of you xxxx

Oh @calipoppy I'm so sorry to hear it. 💔 I hope the MVA goes OK and you are able to take some time to rest and recover. 💐

@calipoppy and @somethingluscious I am so sorry for your losses. We all know the pain you're feeling and know you can vent here any time, we get it. ❤️

@calipoppy I'm so so sorry. Sending lots of love to you 💐💐💐

I went for my scan last week at 8+3. Sonographer dated me at 8+5 and found the little heartbeat rattling away. So that was nice to see!

He found what he thought was a subchorionic haematoma, which probably caused the bleeding. Has anyone else experienced this?

I've read a bunch of papers and it seems unclear whether this is bad or neutral. Based on my reading I think my odds of MC are now somewhere between 3% and 30%?! SCH are more common in women's with recurrent MCs.

I'm feeling more sanguine having had that scan. Last time a scan at 8+5 diagnosed an MMC probably 5-7 days earlier so we've made it past that milestone. Still not optimistic, but in more of a "what will be will be" mood.

Booking appointment is the next milestone to get to, on Thursday. Who has had their booking appt already? Was it any different b/c of MC history? I've never made it far enough to have one before!

@Melusina123 Congratulations on another milestone, even if it does feel a little double edged at the moment. I had my first ever booking a few weeks back and I was so nervous. It was hard going through my pregnancy history as she asked closed questions.

"So this is your first pregnancy?" Yes^ "G1P1" but we had a miscarriage a couple of years ago "G2P0" but this is my 5th pregnancy.
^
Then she took a proper history. 🙄

But apart from that it was just a normal boring booking, history bloods and referrals.

That was my first attempt at using italics, I wont be bothering again! 🤣

@Melusina123 congrats on the positive scan but sorry you have some added worries. I am really no expert but on the FB site for my IVF clinic, loads of women seem to have sub chorionic haemorrhage (sorry if that is spelt wrong) and none of them have miscarried as a result of it. Really hope you can stave off the worry

I'm hoping to do the "acceptance" thing too after an evening of googling all the many worries and niggles I have about this pregnancy. I can't change any of it. It's so hard isn't it. Xxx

@Melusina123 I'm glad the scan went well today and I know many who have had an SC with no negative impacts (including the pregnancy that made me!)

I had one tiny bit of brown spotting today and went into a total tailspin for 2 hrs!

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl same! Mine was some brown tinged discharge but it made me nervous. One thing I've been thinking is that I really can't stand this stage- the first trimester and all the waiting. I hate the thought that if I miscarry again, I will have to go through all the nerves and uncertainty again next time.

Thanks, all! Overall I think the scan was positive. At least if I get more bleeding I'll know where it's probably coming from. So feeling calmer about that.

@BellaBella38 that's interesting! I've really built up the booking appt in my mind but sounds pretty routine.

@Janefx40 we all need to say the AA mantra a few times each night don't we. 🥲 "Grant me the courage to change the things I can, serenity to accept the things I can't, wisdom to know the difference."

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Anoushka1986 Bleeding is so nerve-wracking. And the midwives are so unbothered by it! 😩 I agree one of the worst things about multiple MCs is the prospect of doing the first tri over and over again. The stress, uncertainty, secrecy, symptoms... Feels like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill just to watch it roll down again.

@Anoushka1986 I'm in a slightly different position because this is our last embryo from when I was younger and we won't be able to create any more so if this pregnancy doesn't work out, there are no more babies. It just makes it so final. With one scan we could find out the whole shape of our future lives.

@Melusina123 I will try that mantra!!!

@Anoushka1986 exactly this - this is why this group is great, people who understand that it's not only the worry of losing this pregnancy, it's also needing to go through 10-18+ weeks of uncertainty and hope and fear AGAIN if it doesn't work out.

@Melusina123 the Sisyphus metaphor is indeed the perfect one - with more losses im sure there's part of it that feels like "is this totally futile?".

@Janefx40 that must add an extra level of anxiety and fear, I'm sorry that's the position you are in

@calipoppy I just saw your post from the other day and I am so so sorry. Wishing you all the best with healing (physical and mental)

Hi everyone can I join after finally finding the right thread to post on lol. I'm pregnant for the first time since my 24wk tmfr last October for a fatal heart anomaly. 6wks + 2 today but have been having pain in my back and more so at my right side at my kidney area. Got a slight pain in my shoulder and I'm now worried it's an ectopic pregnancy. Got the midwife on the 10th for my first appointment and trying to reassure myself the pain is just things settling in and stretching

@ArrrMeHearties welcome and congrats. Sorry to hear about the TFMR, that must have been so difficult. 💐

I'd say if you're worried about an ectopic take yourself to A&E for a referral ot EPU. After 6wks they'll most likely scan you which would be reassuring? My experience is that growing pain type cramps sort of come and go, so if you've been feeling consistent pain in one place it's worth getting checked out.

That said I've got back pain which is almost certainly a muscle issue, and FWIW I think shoulder pain is a very late symptom of ectopic since it comes from bleeding in the abdomen irritating a nerve that goes to the shoulder. I think your abdomen would be very painful too by that point and you'd probably have bleeding? But as I said I'd get it checked out. Better to be safe than sorry!

@ArrrMeHearties agree it's unlikely to be ectopic but also get checked 1) just in case and 2) because at your gestation they can offer a scan which will show if it's in the right place.

@ArrrMeHearties I'm so so sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking 💐

If you have concerns then call the GP and see if you can get a referral. That is what I did. They understand that those of us who have had losses have additional worries. I was sent for a scan at EPU.

But I would say that a lot of us on this thread have had panics about ectopics with these pregnancies and so far we've all been fine. It is a really common thing to worry about and the pains are really common too. But definitely check it all out to reassure yourself.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl thank you. It's hard for all of us whatever our circumstances. Mine is very final but at the end I will at least have an answer. I'm so sorry that you might all have to do it again but hopefully this is it for all of us.

Yes @ArrrMeHearties like @Janefx40 said I've been scanned worried about ectopic and it turned out to be gas 😳😳😳. But, better safe than sorry!

@ArrrMeHearties I'm in a very similar situation. 6+2 today after a TFMR at 18weeks in Feb. How are you feeling? I'm absolutely terrified.
Are you in contact with your bereavement midwife as I'm sure she would give you advice on what to do about the pain?

@Janefx40 that's a lot of pressure and stress to be dealing with. I really hope it works out for you x

@Melusina123 and @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl exactly! I'm on my 3rd pregnancy this year, have spent nearly 6 months of the year being pregnant and nothing to show for it. Meanwhile each time I'm pregnant I gain a little weight and then struggle to get it off. I feel like I can't do anything to move forward with my life until I have this issue sorted.

I'm feeling better than I was when I posted about the pain. True to form I was just a tad gassy 🙈😂 starting to get a bit ahem round and I'm in my stretchy trackies already. Oh the comfort lol. Hope everyone else is keeping good.

@ArrrMeHearties I bought maternity pyjama bottoms already as I can't stand anything around my middle with the hyperemesis. Super comfy!

Hi all, not sure what i'm expecting to gain from this message but also not sure what to do. We had sex yesterday morning and this morning I have woken up to very pale peach discharge, and when I went up there (TMI) it was very light brown. I'm freaking out as my miscarriage started this way but also aware that it could be sex related.

Not sure what to do, I can get to an EPU walk in but it shuts at 11 and I have awful scanxiety... Or should I just wait it out and try not to assume the worst. I'm only 6w2 so not even sure if there would be a heartbeat if I scanned anyway (and am not miscarrying again).

I'm a bit beside myself... :(