Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

That's great @Janefx40 .

Does anyone know when you would expect to see a heartbeat? I'm feeling a bit worried as a few people on here and other threads have said they saw a heartbeat at 5+4 or above, and at our scan we didn't. Looking at when we DTD I should have been at least 5+4 at the scan date (though not sure about ovulation date at all). Just worried this means it's not going anywhere 😔. Next scan in 3 weeks feels like forever away.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I have never seen a heart beat at 5+4. I saw a tiny flicker today at 5+6 but the earliest I have seen it before that is 6+1. I'm on a lot of Forums with women doing IVF and we get scanned a lot so I really do know that generally people don't see a heart beat before that.

But also bear in mind that mine is an IVF frozen transfer so we have 100% accuracy over dates which you just can't even have to the same degree with a natural pregnancy.

Honestly it's really not usual to see a heartbeat at 5+4. You can always book a scan sooner if you're worried but sometimes doing too much scanning can make you more anxious so it's a balance. I basically wait until I really can't bear it and then I seek information!

@Janefx40 next week is super busy at work then we are away on holiday so hopefully that distracts me! Just feeling like I'm getting too invested and it might not work out (but it also might!). Have to remind myself that the odds are actually in our favour despite past experience and also that feeling hopeful or invested can't jinx it. Too much time on my hands today to worry

My dates are super super unclear as we were actually in the midst of taking norethisterone to end a medication cycle that failed! So weren't even having much sex, no OPK use and no temping so no clue.

Hello Ladies,

May I join you? I’ve been lurking for a while but after our private scan today I feel a little
more confident in joining you officially!
In short I have a DS who is nearly 4 years old. We’ve been trying for baby #2 since he turned 2! After 13 months of nothing we finally conceived again in January but sadly discovered a MMC at 9 weeks back in March for which I had a D&C. Thankfully we conceived again in August and I have been holding my breath ever since. Had my booking appointment yesterday but didn’t really invest too much thinking the worst could still happen. I had a private scan this afternoon and much to our relief it showed a baby with a healthy heartbeat measuring 4 days ahead of where my dates put me. I cried happy tears. I know there is still along way to go but I’m sure your support will come in handy and I’d love to share this journey with others who understand just where I’ve been and hopefully going! When I announced my miscarriage to friends and family it seems very few had been in my boat so it’s a comfort to be in the company of others who understand! Thank you x

Welcome and congratulations @Tryingmybest345 ! So glad you had a positive scan. Hopefully this group will help you, I also have very few friends who have had a loss which is quite surprising given how many of them have children! When are you due?

Thank you. I know mine too. So many others seem to tell their news and then women come out of the woodwork with their own stories so I was surprised that wasn’t the case with people I know. Im due 23rd April x

@Tryingmybest345 I only know one other person who has experienced a loss IRL! All my other peers either had a child with no issues at all or aren't interested in having a child at this point in their life. It's nice not to feel alone isn't it

I don’t know if this is tmi, does anyone sometimes end up with wet underwear? Like soaking wet. It has only happened a few times, but I did also have it happen once in the last pregnancy that ended as a mmc. Hence my concern.

The few times it’s happened it has been when I haven’t been to the toilet in 2-3hrs eg due to travelling/driving/being busy etc but it also doesn’t smell like an accident, just very damp underwear. Also my body didn’t say go to the toilet like it usually does, so it wasn’t like an accident.

Im only 7+ weeks, just wondered if anyone else has come across this? I have never had this issue outside of the two times being pregnant.

@blue2020 no such thing as tmi on this chat! Yes it's common - increased discharge is super normal. Does make me super nervous as I always think omg is that blood. I'm about 6 weeks and definitely have it too! Funky colours can mean infection but clear, creamy, slightly yellow all normal.

Sorry, idk why I said "super" so much in that comment!

@Blue2020 don't worry about TMI, I have no privacy boundaries!!!

So yes I also get lots of discharge in pregnancy - it's a good sign for me usually. And yes I'm checking constantly in case it's blood! For me it's usually clear and wet. I'm wearing a sanitary towel at the moment but that's partly to check it's not blood!

But I also get something hormonal sometimes when i need the loo and get a bit wet. It feels like I have wet myself but then, as you say, it doesn't smell like wee. I think it must be wee tho. That is just occasional and happened during my last pregnancy and after having my DD. I do think it's hormones. I wouldn't worry because I've not had incontinence other than that and it is really occasional (think twice a year) but I did get that slightly more often during pregnancy and for a few months after having my baby. Overall tho that stopped after I had the baby. X

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl @Janefx40 thank you so much for the reassurance. It’s good to hear it’s normal and that you both experience it. I pretty much wear white/light colour underwear now, yes it’s clear whatever it is.

How is everyone doing today? I'm going to be honest - I'm not great. I've had a couple of brown bleeds - a small gush followed by light brown spotting for a couple of days, then it clears up, then I have another one. It's really doing my head in. I saw a heartbeat bang on dates at 6+1 (am now 8+2) after a bright red bleed, and no red blood since then, and I'm trying to stay positive (or at least balanced) and not just assume the worst. But it's so hard because sometimes when I feel 'something' come out it's just clear discharge (or the progesterone pessary...) and sometimes it's blood. I know some women just spot on and off for their whole first trimester and beyond, but also some women spot for 2wks and then it becomes a MC, and the uncertainty is doing my head in.

I finally cracked and booked a private scan for Wednesday, not to reassure me everything is fine, but because I'm still feeling pretty rotten (nauseous/tired/sore breasts) and I don't want to suffer through that for however many more weeks and then discover things went wrong ages ago. I'm still not sure booking a scan was the right decision. Very unconvinced 'reassurance' scans are actually reassuring.

When we started TTC, I convinced myself that it might take a while for us to catch. I utterly did not anticipate that after 10 months I would have been pregnant three times, lost two of them, and be constantly worried of losing he third. How does anyone manage to be psychologically tough enough to go through this?

@Melusina123 I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I feared the brown bleeding this time round but my scan showed a healthy (so far) 7 week pregnancy. The midwives reassured me that bleeds here and there are actually common and no reason to be too concerned but you know, we get concerned don’t we! Once you lose a pregnancy and in your case 2 it is really mentally tough to go through it again. I have no living children yet and I’m coming up to 8 weeks pregnant and I am not sure how I am going to cope with anxiety as it’s still at the beginning. I worry something will go wrong every day. I think this is one of them “the only way to get through it is to go through it” I wish there was a crystal ball that showed me my outcome of this pregnancy and it is really hard because I want to be excited and when we talk about baby I just feel sad sometimes because last time we got excited I lost them at 9 weeks (twins)

Ugh, I've now got my first UTI in like 15 years. Faaab. I'm peeing red, just hoping that's just the UTI and nothing to do with the pregnancy :( At 5+2 I expect it's too early for any reassurance scans...

@Sera123 sorry you’ve got a uti :( I had a scan at 5 weeks and all they could see was sac and yolk sac which at the time all I wanted to see but if you can wait until 6 weeks you most likely will see fetal pole so would provide more reassurance

@Janefx40 thanks for your reply. I like that quote you sent through. I feel good some days then other days I'm wondering what the hell I've done!!

My GP was booked out until the 10th of October so I imagine my first scan will be a week after. God it will be awful, I was in tears in my last scan after my first miscarriage, can't imagine how much more nervous I will be now that I've had two miscarriages and both of them diagnosed at scan.

How are you going? How far along are you now?

@Sera123 sorry to hear about your uti! I get them regularly and HATE them so I feel your pain. Make sure you get on some antibiotics asap.

@Melusina123 the anxiety is so hard and blood or brown always puts the fear into me even tho I know it is normal. You know using cyclogest vaginally can cause spotting (in something like 70% of cases!!!). I have always used them rectally - it takes a minute to get used to but you may find the spotting disappears....worth a try?

@Anoushka1986 10th Oct seems a while away. Have you booked in with the midwives or the actual GP?

I am 6+ 3 today. Time has never gone so slowly. Have a scan this evening and no idea at all what to expect. DP can come to this one so really hoping there is something to see x

@Sera123 ouch you poor thing. Has the doc given you anything? The earliest I've been scanned is 5+4 but that is with IVF clinics. Most EPUs make you wait to 6 weeks unless you are bleeding heavily or have other serious symptoms.

@Anoushka1986 oh god I'm sorry you have to deal with this a lot! Yesterday was misery! Luckily today isnt as bad (thanks cranberry juice and paracetamol I guess!) and I've got some antibiotics from the doc today so hopefully that will sort it out quickly!

@Janefx40 Good luck for your scan this evening! x

@Sera123 thanks. It was mixed. All looked fine but then he measured the CRL and dated me 6+1 but I am 6+3 and it should be accurate because of IVF. Having said that it is bigger than my daughter was when they measured her as 6+1 so not really sure what to think. Don't feel any more reassured to be honest than before.

@Janefx40 I'm in Australia so our process may be different to where you are. My appointment is just with the GP, from there she will give me a referral to get some scans done. I will be 7 weeks then. I also have another scan at 13 weeks and then it's only after that that they refer me to the hospital, but I don't get seen by any midwives until I'm 20 weeks!

Sorry to hear your feeling mixed about the scan. Was the sonographer concerned about the size? I wouldn't have thought that would be anything to worry about, surely some babies are just smaller?

@Essexgalhere thank you. At least we can all be here anxious together!

@Janefx40 that's a good point re: the pessaries. The midwife said that too when I spoke to her, but I think the bleeding is coming from higher up for me because (TMI) one time when I was putting the pessary in I felt some squelch out from the cervix. In my more optimistic moments, I think it's probably the old blood from the bleed I had at 5+6 (which could have been IB) making its way out in spurts. But maybe if I get good news on the scan this PM then I'll try the other route.

I'm sorry you didn't find your scan reassuring. I've heard that at that gestation the embryo is so small that the estimate can move around a lot because of very small differences in where the sonographer places the measurement points?

@Anoushka1986 I had a miscarriage diagnosed at a scan (literally no sign anything was wrong, but no heartbeat), and the scanxiety after experiencing that is so real. I don't think now I'll ever get to be one of those people who are excited to go to scans.💔