Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

@Janefx40 Did you manage to get to see EPU today?

@BellaBella38 love that you've gone for Harry p, I listened to all 7 books in my first pregnancy 😂 there's something really comforting about it isn't there!
Fingers crossed for you with plan b 🤞🤞

@calipoppy @BellaBella38 I used to listen to Harry Potter on repeat at night to help me sleep. Stephen Fry is ace.

I was going to head into London to a walk in EPU but decided I was too tired so tried to go to my local (GP referral) but predictably they wouldn't see me. They've booked me in for Friday tho and I have calmed down a bit. I did bloods this morning but don't think I will look at results until Friday. If I can stave off the panic I think I'd rather enjoy being pregnant for a couple more days.

I found out I've had a MMC around 6 weeks and I need to tell the EPAU whether and how to have it medically managed or not. They said there are different ways, where they bring you in as an outpatient. You can go on and have a tablet & pessary or they can put you under general anesthetic for what I think is a D&C.

Oh I'm sorry to hear it @somethingluscious. 💔 I've been there. How to manage it is a very personal decision. For me, I was sure I wanted the surgical route, and had an MVA (similar to a D&C) under local anaesthetic, because I didn't want to deal with miscarrying at home and I wanted it over, and didn't want the general anaesthesia. But for other people they want the natural process to happen and prefer the comfort of home. There's no right or wrong way, only what's best for you in an awful circumstance. 💐

@somethingluscious just realised this is the 'after miscarriage' thread so you probably knew all that already! But just let us know if there's anything you need.

@somethingluscious I'm so sorry to hear this. Just heartbreaking after you got this far 💔. I had a miscarriage at 8w5 weeks (baby was measuring 8w4) and chose surgical management under general or maybe sedation - I was knocked out either way. It's such a personal choice. The procedure was fine but obviously it was devastating to be going through it.

Sending lots of love xxx

This will be my 4th miscarriage. I had been hopeful things would be okay as the others were all much sooner or the hCG didn't get very high, but I've never had one medically managed before. My hCG got up to 15000 the day after my first scan so has to come down quite a lot and I don't think I will miscarry otherwise until it drops.

The MVA seems scary and too much like an abortion or I was worried it might be alongside other patients having abortions. I think I can take misoporostol and then go in as an outpatient in Gynaecology. I also didn't know if it makes any difference to your hormone and cycles resetting sooner whether having an MVA or tablet / chemically induced.

I don't know if they can test the fetal tissue either because it is recurrent or they will just say it is because of my age and these things happen.

@somethingluscious with my MVA the doctor and nurses were all super kind and lovely. I didn't see anyone else there, so I don't know if there would have been people having abortions that day. They put you in a private room before and after, at least at my hospital, so it's all very personal to you and you don't really know who else is around. Surgical management also means they have the tissue and can test if that's something that's on the cards, whereas with medical you'd need to try and collect the tissue yourself. Also with medical management it can end up not happening completely and then you have to have the MVA/D&C anyway. Honestly, the MVA wasn't the funnest experience, a bit painful and undignified, but I was just glad it was over and I could move on. I'd definitely go for the MVA again.

I don't think it affects when your cycle comes back. My next period was 5 weeks after my chemical pregnancy (at 4+5) and 6 weeks after the MVA (at 9+1).

But it really is such a personal choice. Have EPAU counselled you on the options to help you make a decision? With me they were very surprised I'd already decided I wanted the MVA; they were definitely prepared for that to be a much longer conversation with both the nurse and later the doctor. There are also lots of posts in the miscarriage forum of people talking about their experiences with medical/surgical management which I found invaluable to make up my mind about what was right for me.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. MMCs are absolutely brutal and heartbreaking, and having to try and figure out the best way to speed the MC along is just awful. Our thoughts are with you.

@Melusina123 Thank you for sharing your experience as it's really helpful and informative for me.

I'm so sorry to hear this @somethingluscious. I have miscarried naturally, had an MVA under local and also had surgical management under general and I would also always go the surgical route in future personally. I also had a private room, and for me it at least reduced the physical trauma even if the emotional side was still brutal. As everyone has said though, this is just my experience and it is so so personal. Thinking of you xx

@somethingluscious I had ERPC under general and would absolutely do it again if I needed to. Emotionally awful obviously but the medical procedure made it easier instead of harder - super compassionate professionals, easy physically and no pain really afterwards. If this is loss 4, I would directly ask for testing and a surgical procedure can support this.

I'm so sorry x

Thanks for sharing your experiences as it is all quite daunting. The EPAU are having me in on Friday morning, then on Sunday first thing to Gynaecology to be medically managed, possibly overnight if it doesn't resolve that day and then would have MVA next week if they needed to. I said I would be off work at least all of next week.

I am lucky as I have had really excellent care from my hospital with any pregnancies and previous infertility investigations. It also reassures me that I was right to change GP immediately when the one I saw wouldn't even do an hCG blood test (all my previous GPs had retired) as all of my pregnancies have been medically managed early on between fertility & GP. Everything was always unexplained though. The EPAU also said they can do genetic testing forms with me on Friday. We never did any further investigation before with the 3 miscarriages as the next one was successful. I don't think it's simply because my age, more my fertility makeup as all my losses have been at 5-6 weeks, plus some issues mid-luteal phase.

Hi everyone, can I join? My baby is due May 30th so I just slip in.

I've had 2 miscarriages this year, one in January and one in June. It's been really hard. I'm now 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. I also have a 2.5 year old who I conceived with no issues- really not sure what the problem is now.

I'm really torn over whether to be cautious or whether to allow myself to feel happy/excited. I figure, if I'm cautious/pessimistic then I'm not so upset if/when it happens. But then if I'm pessimistic then I'm not enjoying what should be a happy time/not allowing myself to bond with the thought of the baby. How does everyone deal?

I'm really dreading scans. For both miscarriages at my first scan baby was measuring small, slow heartbeat and then at follow up scans two weeks later heart beats stopped.

Hi @Anoushka1986 welcome and I'm so sorry about your losses 💐💐.

I think my approach changes hour to hour!! Sometimes I let myself accept that it's not going to work out and then feel better just having given up completely. Other days I try to enjoy that for now at least there is the possibility of a pregnancy. Other times I just spend hours googling symptoms.

Someone posted a list of comforting words a while back on a different thread. I can't find them but I remember that one of them was "you won't change the outcome of your pregnancy by allowing yourself to hope". I think sometimes I feel like I will jinx it but that's not true.

Have you booked your first scan?

After my bright red blood 1.5wks ago, I just had a gush of brown blood. It seems to have stopped at one gush so far, but I'm scared to move in case it triggers more.

Spoke to midwife who said exactly what I expected -- you've had a scan recently, so just monitor it, brown is better than red, if it gets red and scary heavy go to A&E. So I'm just stuck playing the waiting game. Feeling completely beaten down and exhausted by the whole thing.

I remember reading somewhere that bleeding was more common in pregnancies that follow close on miscarriage (it was < 3 months), but can't for the life of me find the reference again.

I had a scan yesterday and baby is measuring 6 weeks 6 days with a strong heartbeat which is 1 day further along that I estimated. We are really happy but I’m still cautious until I get past the 12 week mark

With my miscarriage in April I was having regular scans from the start of March and both babies were measuring small, had slow heartbeats and eventually passed away at my final scan with them 4th April.

I have been having pregnancy loss counselling and yesterday told my therapist I was pregnant again and about my negative thoughts and views. I wish there was some kind of crystal ball to see what is going to happen with this pregnancy. I know worrying will not stop anything bad from happening, and as much as I try to prepare myself for bad news, the truth is you can’t prepare yourself for the loss! It’s not any easier if I constantly tell myself it’s not going to to work out.

Pregnancy loss has been one of the hardest things that have happened to me so far in my life, it is so hard as it takes away the excitement of this new pregnancy but I know I need to try and enjoy and celebrate this baby as they deserve it wether they are here for the long stay or if I only carry them for a little while

@somethingluscious I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this again. How heartbreaking. Hopefully they can do some testing and give you some answers this time x

@Anoushka1986 Welcome and congratulations! Yes it's so hard not being able to get excited. I'm hoping if/when we get past 12 weeks I'll be able to actually be excited for this one... And there's still a lot of pregnancy left by that point so plenty of time to bond.

@Melusina123 Oh fingers crossed for you, the uncertainty is just dreadful. Hugs and just take it one day at a time. x

@Essexgalhere Such good news, glad you've had such a positive scan. As hard as it is to get your hopes up it sounds like you're taking a very rational approach so far x

It's fairly uneventful here, I'm at 4+5 and been POAS every other day and the lines are getting reassuringly darker each time. Think I feel comfortable enough to refer myself to the EPAC now... One step at a time!

I’m a bit nervous. For the last 2 weeks having quite bad morning sickness that’s lasted all day, today and yesterday have been feeling a lot better. Typical as I moan about being sick and now it’s pretty much gone I’m moaning because I’m worried this means something bad

@Essexgalhere sorry you're feeling worried! I know my sickness has fluctuated in the past with other pregnancies because I've had those worries too and then it's come back. My nausea is SO mild this time, I'm now 8+4 and have only wretched like twice, normally it's all day by this point. So I'm also feeling worried, keep wondering about whether to have another scan but I feel like the reassurance is so fleeting it's just a waste of money!

@Essexgalhere I know how terrifying it is when symptoms disappear but I'm going to say what you already know. They do come and go. They really do.

In my successful pregnancy I probably spent most days googling the mechanics of it and trying to understand how the hormones work - how could it be that it came and went if it was meant to increase?. I never worked it out!! But there is interaction between different hormones and that causes fluctuations - or maybe we get used to a certain level for a bit and then it impacts us less.

It's also possible to feel symptoms when things have gone wrong. There are people who are throwing up even after things have gone wrong.

I know how anxious a time this is and I know nothing can reassure you. We just have to try and survive from one scan to the next. You saw a good sized baby with a heartbeat so you're already in a very different position to last time. I hope you can find something to distract you today.

Sending lots of love to you xxxx

@Sera123 Thank you. It's just so exhausting being on this rollercoaster. As you say, one step at a time! Glad you've got good line progression.

At least my other symptoms have been pretty consistent. As @Janefx40 says this is pretty meaningless, so it hasn't lifted me out of my general pessimism very much, but I think I'd be a lot more wound up if I was suddenly feeling less queasy.

Hi everyone, I’ve not really been on this thread since finding out but have a question I’m hoping you ladies might be able to assist with (although speaking to midwife as well).

I’ve had two chemicals in the past so when I found out I was pregnant this time around I contacted the GP to see if I could have progesterone or if they had any advice, they couldn’t help so put a referral into the OBGYN team. I’ve not heard anything since I’m almost nine weeks now, am early scan at six weeks confirmed embryo in right place and with strong heartbeat.

I’ve just had a call from the doctors receptionist to say they’ve heard back from the OBGYN who has prescribed progesterone until 16 weeks.

I’ve not at any point spoken directly to anyone about this other than the receptionist and I guess I’m just wondering if there is any point in taking it now when I’m almost nine weeks, and if there is a risk of it harming the baby if I take it when I don’t need it.

Both of my losses have been prior to five weeks so I’m well past that point now.

any thoughts welcome!

Hi everyone. I've been ok since I found out about MMC. Googling and reading a lot. I went in to EPAU and took mifepristone today and started spotting about an hour later. I am back in on Sunday to take misoprostol. Hopefully it takes until then as they said they would do chromosomal testing.

The midwife was really good and is referring me to recurrent miscarriage which she says takes 8 weeks, particularly as they like your cycle to get a chance to settle down. She said if (when) we conceive again to self refer straight away and I can have scans again in the first 6-17 weeks. So that gives me a little hope where I would just do hcg blood tests independently and go straight there. We were discussing the fact it was MMC and that might actually be a good thing as my body is primed to carry a pregnancy. It also shows how crucial female reproductive services are. If I have chemical pregnancies before that point, it's a matter of moving on to a new cycle. I am fairly lucky that my losses are usually around 4-6 weeks as things reset faster then, which gives me better odds in the long run.

I did a final hcg test yesterday as had a spare one, just so I know what it is coming down from, but she said that could take a few weeks. It's a bit ridiculous to be so upset on Wednesday and feeling so pragmatic today, but I remember with the losses TTC DD2 that I just wanted to get on with a new cycle and reset everything hormonally.

@Charl881 with the progesterone they said they can give me that for recurrent miscarriage as it can be proven to help and doesn't cause any harm. The only thing I think it can do is make your body undercompensate, but then by 16 weeks plus maybe that isn't an issue - so you'd need to check into that. I was torn about whether to ask for progesterone as even though my progesterone tested as being on the low side, I wasn't sure about interfering if it was ok and sustaining the pregnancy, which it seemed to be. They couldn't say if the progesterone was low because the embryo wasn't viable or vice versa iyswim, but it won't stop a miscarriage if it is destined to happen. The other things the midwife said was if I did have any breakthrough bleeding in a subsequent pregnancy they would put me straight on progesterone, but wouldn't unless there was a threated miscarried (ie. spotting or bleeding). So that kind of matched up with what I thought.

I'll probably lurk on this thread and not post as don't want to put anyone off, but I hope everyone does well and your pregnancies progress ok. I have always been happy with others doing well in pregnancy, it's just frustrating when things don't work out for my husband and I. I said to DD2 though that if I hadn't had losses before her, she wouldn't be here, so I feel things always have a way of working out. Take care!

@somethingluscious I'm glad you're feeling ok. It's a lot to go through and not surprising you were feeling so upset. It sounds like you have a plan for moving forwards which is great.

@Charl881 great that you are at 9 weeks. I really don't know about the progesterone but my instinct would be that unless your levels are currently low then there isn't much point. I doubt it will hurt because in general taking more progesterone is harmless aside from the side effects but then I've always taken it from just after ovulation so don't know much about taking it later on.

I had my scan at EPU today. It's in the right place which was a relief. We saw the sac, yolk sac and a tiny flicker of a heart beat but couldn't actually see the fetal pole as it was too small and behind the yolk sac but as there is a heart beat it must be there. I'm only 5+6 so it's very early. Feeling reassured....for now anyway...