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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Can I stop my contractions for a few hours?

184 replies

DesperatelyDue · 29/06/2022 02:23

Hi night owls. I realise this sounds completely bat shit crazy but hear me out. (And don’t be mean, I’m truly desperate)

I‘m 77 hours into an excruciating latent labour. My contractions have ramped up to pain the likes of which I have never actually felt before. But they remain 5 minutes apart and the hospital have told me I will absolutely be turned away until I’m 3 in 10. (I have phoned back twice more to beg for help but the midwives are steadfast)

Every day, up until today, the contractions have stopped for 3-4 hours in the afternoon and given me a chance to eat without vomiting and get a few hours of much needed sleep. But not today!

I’m exhausted and really emotional. I can’t do much of anything because I have to stop every 5 minutes and get onto my knees.

So, my crazy question is… has anyone been in this situation before? And can you recommend anything that would encourage a break in contractions for a while? Thank you.

OP posts:
Ballsaque · 01/07/2022 00:06

Hope you’re holiday your baby now.

the pure joy of an epidural after all that pain is amazing.

Ballsaque · 01/07/2022 00:07

holding not holiday 🤣

Mimi1980 · 01/07/2022 00:33

Hope all is well with you and baby ❤

thenewduchessoflapland · 01/07/2022 00:40

Really hope OP has safely had her baby

Ionianprincess · 01/07/2022 00:51

Hopefully you’re enjoying some new born snuggles

We’re bloody barbaric to women in labour in this country. No doubt the card would be better if men had babies

Ionianprincess · 01/07/2022 00:51

Care not card!

QuestionableMouse · 01/07/2022 01:20

My poor sister went through the same, and when they eventually checked her, they found out that her baby was transverse and would never have been delivered naturally. She had a section and both are happy and healthy now.

Hope you get sorted soon, op. Very glad to read you're at the hospital. ❤️

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/07/2022 11:21

And I thought a posterior position 33 hour labour was a long one. Hope you've delivered and are both having a good rest.

Mummy7777 · 01/07/2022 16:52

U OK op?

Original poster
DesperatelyDue · 03/07/2022 15:32

Hi ladies, I’m sorry for the delayed response.

My birth story was horrific. It was traumatic and my baby almost died. She didn’t, which is important to me. We’re home now and doing well, but I’m having some baby blues and struggling to deeply connect with her.

I feel terrible for saying this, but I’m sure that she and I will move past it.

Even as I stood in the hospital, begging for treatment, maternity triage were trying to discharge me to my home. I stood my ground and that is the only reason she lived. Within hours she was out and I was losing blood on the operating table. Sadly, I missed her birth, because I lost consciousness.

I’m sorry I don’t have a happier update. Maybe in a few weeks when the dust has settled.

Thanks to every single poster on this thread that urged me to have her checked. If it weren’t for you ALL, my daughter would have died.

<3

OP posts:
wellhelloitsme · 03/07/2022 15:37

My god you poor, poor thing.

I'm so pleased you both made it through and am sending so much love.

Be kind to yourself, it's no wonder you're struggling with deep bonding after such trauma.

She is safe, she will be fed and held and clothed and she is loved.

Everything else, the connection you expected, can come later.

Ask for support and accept it, when you're ready. If you aren't offered any and feel it would be beneficial, I'm sure some MNetters can suggest resources to help with birth trauma and the after effects.

You've done so well and should be very proud of yourself Flowers

WarmJuly · 03/07/2022 15:39

Congratulations on your daughter. I'm so glad you stood your ground and she's alive and well.

The horrific memories do fade. I'm sure you are reliving the trauma right now, but things will improve and the bond will come. It took me until baby voluntarily smiled at seeing me and I melted. Don't worry about it. You have to recover and it takes a while.

I hope that there is a way of registering the way you were treated. No one should have to fight for a decent level of care. It's truly outrageous that a group of mums on MN knew better than those who have qualified in maternal care.

GoT1904 · 03/07/2022 15:52

I'm only just reading this, but have just read all the way through and I'm really relieved your daughter is here safely, but I'm so deeply sorry for birth story :(

It's not okay that you kept getting told to stay home and that they were going to discharge you. I would definitely put a complaint in when you feel okay enough.. not just because of your experience, but to help other mamas, so that they could perhaps learn. This could have gone so much worse and it shouldn't ever happen again.

Not to sound awful, but I'm not surprised you don't feel as though you've bonded straight away. I didn't with my first, my son, but it did come. Don't put pressure on yourself, just try skin to skin and try and survive the next few weeks. Do speak to your midwives if you need to.

Sending lots of love, strength and solidarity. Xxx

BertieBotts · 03/07/2022 16:06

That's awful :( Sorry to hear you had such a tough time and weren't listened to.

LittleBear21 · 03/07/2022 16:07

You did an amazing job advocating for yourself and your daughter! So sorry you had to; that should never have had to happen. But your strength and instincts are what saw you both through. I hope you can get the support you both need to recover. And as PPs have said, be kind to yourself and recognise just how well you have done in extremely challenging circumstances.

rocketfromthecrypt · 03/07/2022 16:10

Good for you for standing your ground OP. You're a bloody warrior and you've saved your baby.

Bluetrews25 · 03/07/2022 16:23

Glad to hear your horrific labour is now behind you.
That instant, huge bond thing is a bit of a myth, in my experience.
You have a little stranger living with you, and you don't know her yet. She doesn't know you either. These are the first days of your new job. And that is daunting in itself.
That love and bond will grow. It's a slow process, even following a less traumatic birth.
You can arrange to have a debriefing session with someone at the hospital when you feel ready, if you want to, just to talk it through.
I'd advise you to let yourself talk it out, to anyone and everyone, informally, as much as you need to.
And congratulations Flowers

Karwomannghia · 03/07/2022 16:26

I have to admit I was quite worried when I saw your posts. I’m not surprised you’re feeling detached after the trauma you have been through. Your poor body and baby. I really hope you start to recover soon and don’t let guilt get a look in, you’re still recovering and surviving.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2022 16:39

I’m so sorry OP, that is absolutely awful. Take care of yourself and feel free to come back to talk about your feelings / repost again, you’ll get lots of support.

congrats on the birth of your little girl

YouCahnts · 03/07/2022 16:56

DesperatelyDue · 03/07/2022 15:32

Hi ladies, I’m sorry for the delayed response.

My birth story was horrific. It was traumatic and my baby almost died. She didn’t, which is important to me. We’re home now and doing well, but I’m having some baby blues and struggling to deeply connect with her.

I feel terrible for saying this, but I’m sure that she and I will move past it.

Even as I stood in the hospital, begging for treatment, maternity triage were trying to discharge me to my home. I stood my ground and that is the only reason she lived. Within hours she was out and I was losing blood on the operating table. Sadly, I missed her birth, because I lost consciousness.

I’m sorry I don’t have a happier update. Maybe in a few weeks when the dust has settled.

Thanks to every single poster on this thread that urged me to have her checked. If it weren’t for you ALL, my daughter would have died.

<3

Oh you poor thing

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible time

The "baby blues" may be ptsd and you are probably also in shock - please don't hesitate to ask for some help

I had a hideous time with ds1 and the trauma birth team came to my home to go through everything with me and it really helped

Sending you hugs

AmaryIlis · 03/07/2022 17:03

Many congratulations on your baby, and I'm so glad this has had a happy ending.

I must say the whole thing sounds horrific and I'm sorry you had such a nightmare. This hospital needs to come up with some explanations. When you feel strong enough, I would suggest you ask for a meeting to discuss what went wrong, and also ask for copies of all your notes. The hospital needs to address its failures urgently before it puts another mother and baby in danger.

mintich · 03/07/2022 17:09

I had a very similar experience in which jy baby almost died. I also struggled to connect to her but it did come in the end! Just be kind to yourself.

Maiyakat · 03/07/2022 17:32

Congratulations on your new baby

I'm so sorry that you had such a difficult birth experience. When you feel ready you can ask for a debrief, your community midwife or health visitor should be able to refer you for this. The birth trauma association can be a great source of support www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

Dinoteeth · 03/07/2022 17:33

Op I'm glad all is OK

You'll probably relive the trauma many times in your head. And feel free to talk about it. Either on here or in person.

BattenburgDonkey · 03/07/2022 17:47

Congratulations OP. And im sorry it was a horrible birth. I missed my youngests birth (spinal suddenly wore off when they were starting and they had to put me under instead), and it really affected our initial bonding period. I expected a sudden love surge everyone talks about, felt robbed not getting it, we ended up with a slow burn journey to love instead, glaring at that little face over a few weeks slowly falling totally in love(with some serious baby blues in between). Even if it takes longer than that for you, don’t worry about it, you’ve been through a huge trauma but you and your baby will absolutely get there. Take care of yourselves OP.