Due November 2022 Thread 3

[NotAdultingToday]

Hi everyone! I looked but couldn't see a thread, if there is one ill ask to get this one deleted. I hope everyone is ok!

Thanks I did get lots sorted, made some space for baby's clothes once they are all washed. I kept so much stuff from my son.

I rate the Freya App, used it last time for the breathing techniques and I swear it's the only reason I stayed at home without pain relief for as long. Really gave me something to focus on and good breathing definitely relates to how much i notice the pain.

I've been umming and aahing about the app @OtiMama. Thanks for the feedback on it. Might just get it. 8 weeks seems soo far and yet so close. Super far when I'm struggling to walk every day and so close when I remember the dreaded newborn phase again. I feel like I was just getting my life back Post DC1 and some sanity (he was a terrible terrible sleeper- still wakes me 3/4 times a night). I'm getting really nervous and anxious about the lack of sleep/ constantly being in demand etc with a toddler.

@greenerfingers do you have childcare during the day for some days/any days? If so think of the naps you have can WITH baby those days 💖 my toddler is usually in our bed by 2am so that's going to be fun with a newborn to wake and feed but I do love the cuddles and miss them if she magically sleeps through once every other month 😂

At the moment I don't but DC1 does sleep at a good time so maybe I'll have to nap in the evenings (which sounds so depressing haha). It's not so much running on low sleep but more the constant tirade of crying/'mummy mummy'/nappies all day long that I fear. Everyone spoke about how they loved the newborn phase but I was so grateful when it was over. I've loved the post 10 month phase. Just hope this baby is much easier than it's older brother was and manages at least a 2 hour stretch during naps/nighttime

@greenerfingers are you me? I feel like everything you say I can relate to 😂 I also hated the newborn phase and 10 months plus was better for me too. All thats helping me is the thought that this is a different child so the struggles may not be the same, and you have done it before so you are more prepared on what to expect. I am under no illusions that it will be hard, but I don’t think I quite realised how it works for a newborn the first time.
I am planning to nap literally whenever I can, and my older child will be in nursery three days a week using the 30 hours free funding. Is your older child anywhere near getting that?

Haha @VolcanicProtectorMan it does sound like we have the same situation(s) right now!

I think I was also hit for a six with learning the ropes the first time and not being prepared that my child may never sleep through the night till he/she is 2.5. I breastfed and that did make it a million times harder (and easier in many ways). This time I've told my husband I've written off the first year and am also under no illusions at how hard it will be and life changing. Last time all I heard was 'It gets easier at 6 weeks.. 12 weeks.. 4 months.. 6 months etc'. I do hope this baby isn't colicky or has any feeding issues and manages to sleep well.

I don't get any free childcare with my LO because of my husbands job but ironically we also can't afford to pay because of rental costs etc!! My husband works from home but doesn't have consistent lunch breaks. I've told him whenever he does though him and DC1 must go out to the cafe/ park/ anywhere so I can have that much needed one hour break till things settle a bit.

@greenerfingers Oh gosh, I naively thought everyone got the 30 hours free funding the term after their child was 3! It’s been a life saving option for us so that I don’t have to have her at home every single day of mat leave. All I can say is definitely yes make the most of any time your DH has free to rest, and I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed you get a lovely ‘easy’ baby and you can maybe even get a glimpse of the enjoyable newborn stage everyone else seems to love! 😩😂

Does anyone have any tips for nighttime feeds with a newborn? Its my first and I have no idea what to expect. Should I be changing or feeding first? Do you change their nappy every time you wake up to feed? Set timers for feeding or just wait till they cry? Its all very confusing, I'm also worried about managing and making mistakes.

@elle1709 I'm not an expert but I heard you should wake baby every 2-3 hours for a feed only until they weigh more than their birth weight! Babys lose weight initially so you have to feed to them regularly to get it back up. After that, you can be guided by baby.

If I am wrong, I'm sure someone will tell us otherwise (I hope they do as I am learning too).

No idea on the changing though!

Personally I never woke the baby to feed it early on, unless you have been advised by a professional that they need waking for feeds due to low weight. That being said my son did wake naturally every 3-4 hours. My son was a poo monster so I did have to change most feeds, if he hadn't done a poo I would wait and change if necessary. At the beginning I changed before a feed and then would regret that when he did a poo at the end! Don't be fooled by thinking you need a nappy change for every tiny wee. A lot of the nappies have a strip that changes colour claiming you need to change the baby, but in reality the colour can change from just one small wee.

@greenerfingers I feel for you. My son sleeps through and I still find I'm tired. You must be exhausted although at least waking during the night still hopefully will mean you will adjust better. My son is only 2 next month so no free funding for us either, although he does still nap 2 hours a day so I will make myself nap then if baby is also asleep.

I agree about napping early evening when your son is in bed and baby asleep. I made the mistake of staying up too late often because i missed adult time watching TV etc. but getting enough sleep is so important and hard to do with a newborn. You just have to accept you aren't living the same life. I didn't find the newborn phase as easy as I thought despite my son being an ok sleeper for a newborn but what I will say for new parents reading is every phase goes by so quickly, sometimes you feel the days and nights are long and if you aren't having a good day it can feel like forever, but the weeks go fast and they develop and change so fast. To balance things out there are also many moments of joy too having a new person in your life!

Thank you ladies @VolcanicProtectorMan and @OtiMama. I agree about the evening naps, I really regretted my 'me time' with my first, and this time will just try and rest and know my time will come back but for now just sleep and recoup when I can.

I think most newborns will feed regularly through the night @Elle1709 so wouldn't worry about waking them (unless they're sleeping 5/6 hour stretches at the beginning then most definitely I would as that's often a sign of jaundice or leads to becoming jaundiced). Also definitely second the changing AFTER a feed or you'll be doing two changes. Newborns can poop like there's no tomorrow

I had a jaundice baby so had to wake her. The problem was noone said when to stop. I changed her before a feed to wake her, then often after it too!

Oh ladies! I got myself in a right pickle last night. I got stuck in the bath! 🙈🙈

Oh dear! How did you get out @CurlyNo2 and how did you get stuck? Your back? I've had a few moments where my sciatica has caused me to seize and it's taken a few times to finally move

@CurlyNo2 that has happened to me before 😂 couldn’t lift myself up. Had to turn on to my knees and stand up that way lol

Haha this happened to me the other day, I had to call my husband to come home and help me 🤣🤣🤣

I couldn’t move, I was practically in wedged in the bath. My bump is so big I couldn’t heave myself up. Oh it was terrifying 🤣🤣 After a good while I managed to manoeuvre myself into a position so that I could get out.

I’m so glad that it’s happened to others 🤣 I keep reading about other ladies 40+ weeks having a nice relaxing soak and I’m thinking how the hell have you managed that??

oh @CurlyNo2 sorry I shouldn't laugh but it is quite funny. I have barely had any baths this time round, not even sure why this is making me want to have one haha. Our bath is so small as well, my mum has a really deep bath at her house so suddenly I was all into them when I stayed at hers a few weeks ago. Just not the same here!

Does everyone have a name or list of names now? We still haven't got any list or anything. My friends keep saying that can't be true, I'm like seriously it is. Still super chilled about it though.

Just ate a whole bag of caramel buttons, not even had dinner yet. That is probably why i did it, should have just had dinner instead!!

@OtiMama I’m glad it made you laugh 😂 think I’m traumatised!

No, we still don’t have a list of names. I keep spouting random names that I like and my husband keeps saying, nope don’t like it. So we’re none the wiser. Child will be nameless when they are born.

@CurlyNo2 that's exactly the same for me. Every name, he says nope. And the one name he likes, I say nope.

Finally had my whooping cough vaccine this morning after having a right faff being able to get it. The nurse gave me the flu vaccine at the same time but I made the stupid mistake of getting them done in Mt left arm, the ache is making it hard to get comfy in bed 😭.

No point to this other than to moan 🤣

@Elle1709 I also never woke them at night for a feed. They will wake you when they're hungry! Which, in the first few days, might be sooner than 3 hourly because they're only getting colostrum. And it's important to put them to the breast as often as possible to stimulate milk supply.

@roobearbaby ouch, I think the sore arm is the worst. I wasn’t too bad after my whooping cough vaccine but I know when I’ve had my covid jab, I’ve bee in agony.

I’m struggling tonight in bed. Feeling really nauseous and achey all over. Cannot get comfy at all which is making me so agitated.

In other news it’s now October month which means our babies will be here next month… eek!

My DS1 was born two weeks early, meaning if this one decides to do the same, I'll have an October baby. I've so got my heart set on a November baby and I'd really like the half term holiday as just us three before DD arrives. I'll have to cross my legs I think.

@TFMinx I'm having the same thoughts I'm not due until 20th Nov, but my daughter came just over 3 weeks early last year, so I'm wondering if I'll end up with an October half term baby too, hoping I'll last a bit longer this time though as I know I'll miss being pregnant again!