Due November 2022 Thread 3

[NotAdultingToday]

Hi everyone! I looked but couldn't see a thread, if there is one ill ask to get this one deleted. I hope everyone is ok!

Thanks @greenerfingers I don't seem to remember leg cramps with my first and I didn't do the massage and exercises either, but I'm older now

@TFMinx I've had bad leg cramps too but didn't last time. Just have to force myself up and push down as best I can on my foot but it's hard as you feel paralysed! My husband usually sleeps through my shouts about it, useless! Or he wakes up and talks a lot of rubbish, doesn't help and goes back to sleep.

@greenerfingers glad baby is OK but annoying they've turned. Get on the birthing ball, bounce that baby round 🤣 probably does nothing but in my head I felt like it did last time haha.

@Anna783426 and @hayu19 hello! Feel free to complain, sorry things are tough on you both. I had so many baths last time, felt like I was just using so much water. Not sure why but I've barely had any this time, I feel probably due to lack of time but I'm so uncomfortable too. Feel like this baby is trying to push out tonight, I know it's all in my head and just the pressure down there! Hope the weeks fly by for you.

@Bramblecrumble22 argh husbands think their lives are so hard right now, they have no idea do they! I'm like I don't have time for it 🤣

I have walked a lot today, I could barely get up the stairs to put my son to bed. Just feeling sorry for myself tonight. Still no news on my car, just in limbo at the moment. Hopefully they will sort it this coming week. My husband is getting stressed out by it and anxious about going in a car and I'm finding it hard to not react as I'm just overtired and in pain for this baby sitting on my pelvis.

Thanks @OtiMama I need to pull it out of storage.I also walked so much my pelvis really hurts but it says on spinningbabies to try and walk a lot daily to help baby turn.

Sorry to hear about the car issue, is there any way you can get a courtesy car for now? Or borrow and insure on one from family? It's so hard to be carless when you have kids and are pregnant.

I had leg cramps last time but not this time. Just a little rant, see if anyone else is similar. I turn 34 weeks today and have my 34 week midwife appointment on Tuesday in the hospital. The GP wanted to move it a week later due to the queens funeral but I got annoyed because that's a long time when my first came just after 36 weeks. (gp midwife is in on Mondays) And, I was told to book this appointment after my scan. At the consultant appointment after a 32 week scan I asked about routine bloods and being anneimic first time pregnant and he said I'll have them at the 34 week appointment. So they suggested calling to see if the hospital could fit me in. When I said how I think timing is important for the blood test specifically, they said routine bloods is normally at 28 weeks....I had a scan and consultant appointment instead of midwife at 28 weeks.... this blunder and not being offered a whooping cough vaccine, booked it myself, is not filling me with confidence for birth.

Also, I've been having two coffees a day through pregnancy, but as I'm having growth monitored and am getting worried about growth, I decided to cut caffeine from today. Told my DH. Now, he's got annoyed with me before taking our child to a class because I have not wanted to visit his parents as much recently and have seen my family (I invited them here) and he added about me not having done anything this morning. @OtiMama he really doesn't get it.

What a shambles @Bramblecrumble22. At least you're on top of it and know what you're doing. Just keep pestering them. I've found my care appalling this time round too, I'm consultant led and have bad one booked phone call my entire pregnancy, which I demanded and then turned up to. I need a cerclage placed at 14 weeks but they said they won't book me to even get seen till 16 weeks?! I could have miscarried by then. Being assertive at 10 weeks paid off though and I turned up to the antenatal clinic and made sure I was seen. Had my operation at 14 weeks and then have never heard back since. No follow up, no check ups, nothing. Not even when requested. Everything just seems so disorganised post covid. I'm not filled with confidence about delivery either but will try and labour at home as long as possible if all goes well.

Sorry to hear about your husband, I don't see why he feels you need go visit his family more when he already visits them? I try and stay in contact with everyone but my family are my priority and DH family his. Little one goes to both families with either of us. (We do visit together also but I'd never expect it of him or question him visiting his side more). I hope things ease up for you. Perhaps swap coffee for tea? So you're not totally drained but also cutting your caffeine intake if that's what you want?

Anyone else’s mood taken a real dip in the third trimester? I’ve felt so low this last week. Burst into tears in work the other day too which was embarrassing. Not sure if it’s hormone related or I’m just stressed and everything is getting on top of me (have had a lot going on this week).

Yes to the mood thing. I feel rubbish at 34 weeks. Also experiencing shocking lack of continuity in care. I've not seen my own midwife since 16 weeks and my blood results never get reported to me. My app is never updated. Managed to get my midwife to text me back the other day. I got a blurry screen shot of my bloods where I can just about make out that my iron has dropped again and I think it says I need a referral to obstetrics for a transfusion but she didnt actually say anything about the referral or an appointment or anything else. I can't get hold of anyone else. Really worried about going into labour anaemic as I had to have a transfusion after ds1 for the same reason. I remember how completely awful and incapable I felt after he was born and how difficult it was to get a decent milk supply going because my iron was so low and no one picked up on it. Really worried about it but I don't even know who to talk to about it.

It seems you get a lot less antenatal care when it’s not your first pregnancy 🙁

@Beanniebaby22 yes yes yes! I've been feeling so on edge the last week or so. I am trying very hard to reframe before I react but poor DH is still getting the brunt.

Absolutely and I can't understand why. In one breath they say you've done this before so we'll leave you to it this time and in the next breath tell you every pregnancy is different so don't assume anything is normal!

I've also felt my mood has been lower. I'm mainly feeling really stressed about the house. We have only lived here around 10 months and its still not finished following renovations. I have this urge to get everything finished but I know its very unlikely and its frustrating I can't do alot of it myself. I'm also stressing trying to get all the baby things sorted and washed and organised and the house clean but when I try and do anything I feel so out of breath I don't really manage to finish any tasks. Also starting to panic as the birth gets closer. I txt my midwife multiple times asking for some mental health help and didn't get any response, eventually I had to ask the health visitor and she called the midwives for me and asked for them to follow up. Now I'm dreading going to any appointments thinking my midwife will be annoyed at me for turning to the health visitor and making her look bad. Also still feeling upset that my partner will only be allowed to visit postnatal for 2 hours, I emailed the hospital about it but haven't received a response.

Yes the desire to nest has definitely kicked in and I get so frustrated that I can’t do things the way I used to. Get tired and out of breath and have to keep sitting down. Plus bending down to lift stuff off the floor is more difficult.
Plus stressing about getting all loose ends tied up before I go off work. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I’m just so stressed and sad that we won’t be moving house before baby is here. Our buyer pulled out two weeks ago (after 2 months) and we have just resold it. I’ve had to clear some drawers out of my daughter’s room so that I can put the baby’s clothes somewhere that isn’t a binbag under the stairs. So sick of living in a house that’s too small with no space to do anything for the baby.

Oh no @VolcanicProtectorMan that sounds really disappointing and frustrating!

@VolcanicProtectorMan that sounds really difficult. Buying and selling houses is so difficult, especially when people pull out last minute, that must be really frustrating.

Exactly the same situation @VolcanicProtectorMan. So frustrating especially when at peak nesting time. Ours fell through 2 weeks ago and since then I've just been trying to declutter as much as possible and organise everything to fit a baby in. It's going to be really tight and I'll have to cosleep but I feel a little more organised now that baby's clothes are in a drawer and not vacuum bags. Hope you can get something else sorted quickly!

Were in the process of buying our first house ( currently private renting). We were assured we’d be in before baby comes but we’ve had so many hiccups along the way, I doubt it will be this side of Christmas. Now need to get this house sorted and find a space for baby whilst I’ve got 0% energy and PGP.
i know we’ll do it but I like to be organised in advance!

Sorry to hear you are in the same situation @greenerfingers, are you still going to be able to move or has it all completely fallen through? The saving grace (if there is one) is that the top of the chain hadn’t found anywhere yet so we had time to resell without it affecting our purchase. But they’ve been looking for what must be over a month now so there is no end in sight! Plus we have to apply for schools this Jan, and we may not be in by then!

No sadly we won't be able to move for at least 9/10 months realistically now @VolcanicProtectorMan. We had too many issues near the end just as we thought we'd secured it. Back to square one again. I've decided to just have baby and wait till it's 4/5 months and I have the energy to deal with a house move again. I've made my peace with it though, although I think that's in part to me working like crazy to move/sell/discard things and make space for a baby. The end is in sight for me and I can see it happening now. The mad rush has really flared up my pelvic girdle pain though . All I have left to do now is find a place for the pram, Moses basket and carry cot.

Sorry to hear that @CurlyNo2. How many weeks are you? I wish I'd been able to sort things sooner as I was more mobile and in less pain but it is what it is. Like you said I'm sure it'll get done (it has to!), it's just about having to do it with so many other factors involved. DC1s prep was an absolute breeze compared to this one.

I’m just coming up to 32 weeks. I agree, I wish I hadn’t put it off too but we were in limbo as we didn’t think we would be still in this house.

I’m going to try and attempt breastfeeding this time. It didn’t work out with my son, my milk just never came in and I didn’t have much professional support, so we quit almost immediately. I’m 100% committed this time. For those who’ve breastfed, are there any absolute essentials that I’d need or good places to read up/ watch tutorials etc?

The medela hand pump was really important for me as my milk came in and then dried up (couldn't breastfeed LO for a few days) and then came back in again. In retrospect I wish I'd had the pump to help milk come in/ stay in. Once I started using it regularly my milk came in more and more I ended up solely breastfeeding. It's about £25 and I found it way better than the electric pump.

Also I found face to face help far better than any videos so if there are any support groups in your locality I'd check them out now and get to know people there.

Lastly just try to eat well post delivery, carbs and red meat always helped me get a better supply. I also needed nipple shields as we later found out my LO struggled to latch for the first few weeks.

great, thanks very much 😊

Re breastfeeding, essential is lanolin cream for sore nipples!
Expect it to hurt at first. I usually found that by 2-3 weeks the nipples toughen up and things start getting easier.
How long were you waiting for milk to come in @CurlyNo2? 3 or 4 days isn't unusual, but you have to keep putting them to the breast during that time (they get colostrum which is usually enough, we have given a bottle in those early days though when bubs was just clearly hungry), the more they are on the breast, the more your body gets the signals to produce milk. Did you have a difficult birth? Trying different holds is very helpful too, underarm hold or lying down feeding I find better for newborns (their mouths are so tiny!)

I agree with @greenerfingers about f2f help, you should be able to ask your midwives or health visitor about that. With #4 I ended up learning that we had a free council provided drop in lactation consultant nearby - and she was very helpful!

@CurlyNo2 I breast fed on last DD, she was pregnancy no 4! My doctors and all the midwives in appointments told me make sure you tell midwife in labour room and every nurse in ward everyday that you have never breastfed before, they assume you have if you have had previous pregnancies. I was lucky, midwives when she was born latched her straight away and stayed with me for ages showing me what to do and they told nurses/midwives on ward. They came down all the time when they saw me trying to feed and showed me different tricks to try get her latching herself and trying different boobs, straight away the little monkey took a preference to one boob so they showed me the “rugby hold” to trick her etc. If it wasn’t for all that help early on I’d have been lost