Due September 2022 (Thread 7!)

[HaresHoping]

Hiya everyone,

Just starting a new thread for when we need it as thread 6 is almost full! ☺️

Here is a complainy one, so I am sorry to the group for my general whinge. The OB who I love and is amazing/experienced and delivered our DD is on holiday starting next Tuesday for 2 weeks, so unless something goes wrong this week and we have to get the baby out, l am 99% certain that she will be away when I have to get this over with. Instead I get the younger doctor who is really nice and friendly, and probably great, but I was hoping for the more experienced one, not the one who acts like Mindy Kaling (so chatty and wants to be BFFs)... oh well. Beggers can't be choosers. The main doctor today was very non committal over it being a C section or not which was frustrating. She basically said that he is breach and if he doesn't turn, then it has to be one. If not, they have some "gentle methods" they can try to induce to see how he reacts to the stress. My gut instinct is that I'd rather know i'm not stressing him out and just get him out quickly and safely. I'll try again in a week/weirdly now I hope he doesn't turn the right way. I'm clinging to the tiny sliver of control I have over the situation, but that seems to be just outside of my grasp. Anyway, things are unlikely to change in the next week, I just really was hoping for some resolution today. How are you all getting on?

@madeleine85 that sounds like a difficult appointment in a few ways. Is it possible the younger doctor might be more likely to agree easily to you going straight for the C-section though? (Every cloud having a silver lining and so on.)

You don't have to agree to the "gentle methods" if you don't want to. You can just keep saying, "I don't want that, thank you." It's tough though. Can your DP come with you to appointments (and is he helpful if he does?!)

My own persistence in asking for what I want has paid off and I've had confirmation that I'm able to have my scans in the smaller closer hospital, so that's a relief.

@110APiccadilly I think you might be right, that the younger doctor might be more amenable to the C section. She looks like more of a cutter😂. I have one more appointment with the older doctor next Monday as she wants to see me before her holiday starts, so as long as he stays in and nothing changes, then i'll be able to talk to the younger doctor in 2 weeks. Unfortunately my husband isn't allowed in with me at appointments, just the birth/surgery and hospital after (thanks covid uptick). On a positive note though I finally reached out to a mental health person to hopefully talk through the anxiety/stress of all this. I also really struggled with the post birth NICU period/my body changes the last time with my DD, so I fully anticipate it all happening again. I see myself being very upset that I need to pee every time I run for 6 months after having a baby, and hating the baby pouch that stays forever. Fingers crossed she takes me on! I'm so glad that they moved your scans closer though, that is a really good change! Go NHS actually listening to patients )

@madeleine85 it is 100% your decision.
That's what I was told. Don't let them try and convince you otherwise. If you want a c section then put your foot down. It's your body, your baby and your decision! People get elective all the time (like me). I'm not taking the chance of an induction gone wrong again, my first baby's heart rate dipped because she was stressed from the induction. There's no one on earth that could talk me out of it.

@madeleine85 the baby pouch is horrendous! My skin rubbed because the pouch hung and I actually had sores! All healed up tho. Also the heparin injections made me so bloated and fat all over!!!
My pouch did settle, lots of walking and healthy diet and lots of water and eventually got better. There is hope but take your time and enjoy your baby xx

@Butterflytulip what you say about your last is exactly my concern about this birth if induced, especially as it will be so early (36-37 weeks max). Stress could be really harmful for the baby as he will likely be around 4lbs if we are lucky, so breathing issues can easily occur. I think last time I had wildly unrealistic expectations of my body, I just need to keep reminding myself that 6 months is a normal healing time, and a lot of the time things can go even later. Our bodies really are amazing, even if my brain tends to forget it!

Is anyone else finding their work HR and getting clarity on Mat leave really hard work?

I was hounded for my MATB1 and ML1 at 21 weeks and they've managed to advertise my cover role since - so they're sorted! But I've just been told I won't get my ML4 or confirmation of holiday and pay entitlement until WK36 or a month before I go on leave.

Seems ridiculously late, I'm a ftm. I've had a go at estimating the figures myself, but I've no idea if it's correct or what I need to factor in tax/pension/NI wise.

I realise I have to go with the flow in terms of when the baby arrives, but I thought I might be able to get more structure and guidance on work/leave etc. Feeling very out of my depth at the moment.

@Paprikapommes in my last pregnancy I just had to give my maternity start date and then waited to see how much pay I got each month!
Your HR/payroll should be able to calculate this for you though and provide you with details in advance. Just hound them!!

They've basically shut me down and said in a roundabout way that it'll arrive when it does.

Honestly I'm shocked at how opaque everything is around maternity leave. There are loads of documents but they don't actually say much and .gov is pretty useless too.

I didn't realise I was an organised person until I've experienced this level of disorganisation. How any mother manages to make set plans is beyond me.

@madeleine85 I hope your appointment went well! The consultant sounds like someone you can speak your feelings to, so I hope you got that chance

Yes I always wanted to avoid an induction because I'd heard so often about them not working. And then I ended up going along with one because I thought it was the right thing to do...it wasn't - baby was so distressed by being prodded and poked with the monitor all day that he turned sideways and they broke my waters without checking his position...hence the EMCS :/

@Paprikapommes yes I'm finding the same. I've asked my HR dept for a breakdown of my monthly and the business manager sent me an email basically saying they will ask payroll but this is an unusual request (what??) and basically don't be surprised if I don't get it, as everyone's pay is different and depends on pension contributions etc. well yes I know this, so that's why I've asked for the information! Honestly it's a joke. I think people just can't be bothered to get the info in advance.

@weirdpanda sorry you're having a rough time of it trying to work out what is for the best, I'm being induced due to the babies size and my age, but have no prior experience of it as DD came along of her own accord with no issues. Was your last one an ELCS? My friend said the recovery from the elective was much better than the EMCS, and she was driving after a few weeks. Hope the next appointment goes better with your DH present.

@HaresHoping my DH isn't onboard with reusable nappies, I have a few though so far and I'll use them as well as disposables, I did last time with DD, although not often enough, so still a bit of a novice with them. Worth seeing if there is a nappy library near you.

@madeleine85 hope the appointment goes ok, and the other OB agrees with what you want.

Had my GD results back, thankfully negative, next scan on the 29th. Midwife thinks baby is head down again and 3/5 engaged, however I know they can pop in and out second time round, so am not getting my hopes up, will see next week. She's such a fidget at the moment, tightenings have been really strong, they think I have an irritable uterus. Also getting a lot of downward pressure, feels like it did when I was 39 weeks with DD, so am guessing it's just because this one is bigger lol.

Finally got my arse into gear and got my whooping cough jab yesterday, haven't been putting it off, just kept forgetting.

Still waiting on an exchange date and completion for our house, went to see it again yesterday as haven't seen it since January, starting to plan out what we need to do decorating wise, carpets flooring etc to make it nice right away, likely we'll be at my parents whilst that's being done, so will be at theirs when we have the baby, was hoping we'd be in before, but it is what it is.

@annlee3817 that's a good plan, every little helps! I was surprised as my DH was the one who pushed for it. Ooh yes nappy library is a good idea.

I've also been recommended to use the Nappy Lady website as there's a questionnaire you can do where you say how many wash loads you do a week, what different aspects are most important to you etc etc and then someone looks through the answers and recommends which ones to get.

I think we'll do disposables to start with and then do some research. And I'll be doing disposables when out and about just to make life a bit easier I think.

Ok, so I have requested my c-section be booked on the due date as I turn 40 weeks and they have agreed :) six weeks!

Is anyone else finding that changing sides at night quite painful?! I have pillows to prop me up but the act of rolling over now is so uncomfortable I keep waking my other half up by yipping or groaning!

@LaddieCthulu good news about the c section. Have you got a pregnancy pillow? Mine keeps me on my left side, have been way more comfortable than I was in my last pregnancy

How is everyone dealing with tiredness o have zero energy it's the school holidays and I just want to curl up in bed 🥺 feet are so swollen too 😩 x

Hi ladies
@Sweetbabydust1989 omg I'm the same. I had grand plans to do lots of sorting in the house today but I'm exhausted and have had 2 naps 🙈😂
@LaddieCthulu yes I know what you mean about turning over! I do have a pregnancy pillow which is great, but if I do wake up and feel like I need to roll onto my other side, it's a massive effort and definitely uncomfortable!!
I feel like we're on the final stretch now but so near yet so far ... x

@Redapple21 I managed to do some cleaning it's just my feet never seen them so swollen they weren't this bad with my boys but then again we didn't have a massive heatwave like we did 😂 xx

Thanks @annlee3817 tomorrow is the big weekly measure in where they check all the baby's sizing and the fluids, so each week I wait for Friday with my hospital bag at the ready. I am definitely experiencing reduced movements though now which ties in with the amniotic fluid going back down. It went to 7cm 2 weeks ago, but is now back in the 5cm danger zone, so we will see how it goes.

I was reading another thread on C sections and what to expect and saw that someone recommended the maybe baby podcast by Kate Lawler season 2 episode 10 with Anna Williamson as a quick talk over her experiences of 1 natural, 1 C section, advocating for herself the second time around and debriefing the first birth with the hospital. It was really good to listen to, informative, helpful, and definitely made me feel more relaxed about the process and what to expect, assuming that i'm given the option! Thought i'd recommend it here in case anyone is looking for something to help with their stress levels :)

@Sweetbabydust1989 I am with you on the swollen feet. Mine are not super extreme but I just feel like they seem to spend so much of the day swollen when I'm up and about🙈 They'll be fine when I'm sat lounging about with them up, but as soon as I'm up and about they're all puffy again!

@GlitteryGreen mine are so bad have been like it for 2 weeks when I stand up I get pains all in my legs they won't go down I was so worried I called the midwife and she face timed me I was bed ridden for 4 days because of them I can walk now but not far I have never had it this bad in pregnancy I can't even get shoes on 😂 xx

Oh wow @Sweetbabydust1989 , that sounds harsh!! The hot weather has definitely not been helping mine, or wearing sandles/flip flops tbh. Feel like they do better in proper shoes but it's been too hot.

@LaddieCthulu my c section is booked for 6 weeks too!!!

What's in everyone's hospital bag? C section bag hopefully easier to pack.. I'm just getting started !!

Hi All,
Can I please join?
32 weeks tomorrow with baby girl😃
How is everybody finding the final trimester?