Due September 2022 (Thread 7!)

[HaresHoping]

Hiya everyone,

Just starting a new thread for when we need it as thread 6 is almost full! ☺️

Thanks everyone for the advice & thoughts about the job stuff, I'm feeling lots better about it today. What will be will be. I think I just struggle to relinquish control and mat leave will be the first time I've not worked in years and years so it's a strange feeling.

We put our pram together today! Very exciting. And learned how to change a nappy at antenatal class 😂 we're now looking into the costs etc of reusable ones. Has anyone else tried reusables before? We're probably going to do disposables at first just while we get used to the chaos of being parents, then look into it properly.

@HaresHoping don't let the work stuff put you off enjoying your maternity leave. I know that is easier said than done but don't let the stress ruin this magical time.

My uti/ bladder situation really ramped up overnight. After finishing my second lot of antibiotics, I'm still in discomfort and struggling to pee. I called triage where they have checked me over and have discovered my bladder no longer empties properly hence the million times a day visits to the loo and discomfort.

Triage have fast forwarded be some appointments with the renal and urology team. For now I've been instructed to take buscopan and paracetamol. Unfortunately there is little that can be done in pregnancy 😭

Oh my gosh @TurquoiseDreamCatcher that sounds awful. Hopefully they can give you meds to help that. I was thinking that might mean an admission and catheter but iv no clue. Really hope the next couple months go by so quick for all of us !!

@Butterflytulip they did mention being kept in and the having a catheter put in. The urology team have advised that isn't the best course of action for pregnant women though.

@TurquoiseDreamCatcher hope you are ok ❤️

@TurquoiseDreamCatcher that sounds horrible, so sorry you're dealing with that! Hope with some antibiotics you are healing up at home x

Today I turned into my mother... we have a cleaner coming in the morning (finally giving in and getting some help) especially now that we know its likely going to be a c section. My in laws live an hour flight away, my husband doesn't see dirt by what it feels, my toddler just throws things everywhere. But today, I pre cleaned for the cleaner hence how I have become my mum. Either that or nesting is really kicking in. I washed all the sofa covers, have done 10000 loads of washing. I also admitted defeat and i'm going to wash the premie clothes. I was wondering about leaving them for now, as I feel like I'm jinxing things by prepping anything, but with it being a likely c section, I don't know how much i'll be able to bend over the washing machine to do it assuming it all ends up ok with his arrival, even if we have a few weeks of the NICU, so i'm just going to tempt fate and do it now. 34 weeks on Tuesday, and he will likely be here by 36, maybe 37 at the latest, so I think that this is reasonable? I also took apart and washed my DD's pushchair, and I can safely say that it was a health hazard the amount of dirt that was in it! She barely uses it these days, but it is still going to be a bit of a challenge keeping her out of the things that were "hers" once the baby comes and they get handed down.

Oh @TurquoiseDreamCatcher bless you that sounds horrid. How are you feeling today? Hope the tablets help at least a little bit to give you some relief. When have you got your first appointment? X

@madeleine85 lol on the turning into your mum thing 😂 I think you're being v sensible getting things washed. I'd also say you're tempting fate the other way - if you didn't get them cleaned, then the baby would be bound to come sooner! Hope they hold out another few weeks for you 🤞🏻

If it helps, I felt like I was jinxing things - I packed my hospital bag before my scan last week - and this did not lead to them suddenly deciding to deliver the baby!! (And my bag only has premie clothes in at the moment - I'll put some normal newborn size ones in later.)

Thank you for the kind words ladies.

How are we all planning to survive the heat today? I've got the curtains closed and fans on. I've decided not to wear a bra to today to give myself less layers 🤣

@HaresHoping I'm waiting for the hospital to call me with my first appointment, they said it will be sometime this week.

I'm due September 12th but have a history of large babies (10.14lbs and 9.3lbs) and later-stage GDM. My DS was born June 2020, and I felt pressured with a few of the decisions/rushed through stages of labour (for example...I was pushed into an induction due to the negative language used by 'experts' (baby WILL get stuck / 50% risk of serious injury or worse etc). Then the induction failed and my water's were broken without the midwife checking position of baby...he'd turned transverse, meaning I had to have a c-section) ANYWAY...this makes options for this birth even more difficult.

• Take induction (which will be pushed when baby hits 4kg (maybe 37/38 weeks). Risks inc. shoulder dystocia, scar rupturing, emergency c-section
• Refuse induction and wait for labour to start naturally (taking on the guilt if something WERE to go wrong). Same potential risks as above plus still birth for waiting (with GDM)
• Choose an elective c-section over trying for VBAC. The recovery was both physically and mentally draining last time and I'll have 3 children to look after.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice. I'm really stuck with what to do for 'the best'. I know everything's an unknown...apart from an elective c-section, I guess.

Sorry for the long post!

@weirdpanda for all your reasons and fears listed I'm actually opting for a planned c section.
I want to know baby will be delivered safely without stress on baby (first induction went wrong and I had an emergency c section).
Also we know our first will be in nursery as it is planned in for a week day so no issues with child care.
I had dissolvable stitches and my recovery was fine, no issues. Maybe ask if your hospital will use disposable stitches instead?

@weirdpanda having a baby is such a minefield especially when health care professionals are a bit lacking in their bedside manner. I, like you have GD which has given me a lot to think about.

My experience with my first DD had made me determined to speak up for what I want this time. I felt very neglected when I had DD, she arrived 5 weeks early via EMCS because she was a footling beech and I had gone into labour. I told the powers that be that throughout the pregnancy that she was breech and she wouldn't be budging but they dismissed me every time. Also once I got the maternity ward after having her I was shouted at for not feeding her enough.

I've been vocal about this now and have said I want the right kind of support. This time I have been told that VBAC would be the best route for me. I responded with a hell no! It was clear they hadn't considered my medical history which includes bladder surgery, I told them I'm having an ELCS.

I've also given my DH a list of things I want him to do whilst we are at the hospital. He is advocate for me. He will communicate with the team, I want skin to skin, I want support breast feeding. He is more than happy to do this. Would your birth partner be able to do the same?

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, it's happening to your body! Sorry for sounding ranty, but I get so cross about women not being listened to in healthcare.

@Butterflytulip Thanks for the reply! I had disposable stitches too, I just found it so hard to move around - every movement was painful and I was scared of ripping anything. Thankfully that didn't happen, and I don't know if it's as truly as bad as I remember or if it was massively impacted because of everything else that was going on at the time (felt like I'd 'failed' - I now know I didn't!, hating the way my body looked and felt, obviously covid anxiety was at a high back then, etc).

I've been so against the c-section but I'm on the edge of a 2nd GDM diagnosis and I think I'm desperate to cling onto some level of 'control'. I talked it through (again) with my husband last night and he said the same as you. Maybe I do need to open myself up to the c-section route (without it being an emergency this time!)

@TurquoiseDreamCatcher Not ranty at all! I completely get you. Outside of being in this situation, I'm such an advocate for standing up for myself but for some reason I just fall apart in pregnancy. I'm sorry you had such a rubbish experience with healthcare 'experts'. I know exactly how you feel.

I've asked my DH to be at appointments from now on because I feel like this is around the same stage where I lost control last time (covid regs meant I had to attend alone and everything felt even scarier because everyone was in panic mode). I feel like he will speak up more, which hopefully will unlock something in me too!

I don't want to panic, but with all these trigger points from the last pregnancy and birth, I can feel myself slipping a bit about what I think is the right thing to do. Obviously I don't ever want to put myself and the baby at risk, but that's what I tried to avoid last time, and if anything, we were put in more danger. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH haha

Have you been in contact with the perinatal mental health team? I asked for a referral to mine as I could feel my anxiety spiralling and I didn't want to end up in the same position as last time.

My team are arranging a meeting with the midwives at the hospital so I can tell them what I want for the birth. It's been a relief to have people in my corner.

I have and it definitely helped me work through a lot of stuff I was holding onto, but I just need to make sure I keep up the momentum. And I guess this is a last minute wobble from thinking I was sure about trying VBAC to now questioning ELCS

@weirdpanda I have GD too so I had to be induced last time at 40 weeks. Baby just wasn't ready to be forced with al the injections and false hormones and her heart rate kept dipping due to the induction.
C section for me feels safe even though there is pain for few days. Last time I kept talking the paracetamol and I plan to do the same this time. Obviously different with a toddler around but if youv got a supportive partner then you will get through the first few days

@weirdpanda you still have some time to make a decision. Have you done the old fashioned making a pro/con list for both?

@TurquoiseDreamCatcher I haven't but I think that's the next step. Thank you for your help :) Really appreciate everything you've said

@Butterflytulip It's the no driving for 6 weeks, knowing I have to manage the school run when my husband goes back to work (week 3), etc. But I think I seriously need to consider it.

I wish you both all the best! Thanks again

DD was born by C-section after a failed induction and the one thing I was certain of even before we conceived this time was that I wasn't having another induction!

I was hoping for a VBAC but it's looking like it'll be an ELCS as chances are they'll want baby out early due to size.

But I took the induction option off the table very early on, and all the doctors and midwives have been fine with that (some have said they wouldn't recommend an induction to someone who's had a C-section anyway).

I gather no driving for six weeks isn't always the rule and that it's up to your car insurance - as long as they're happy and you're happy you can drive earlier. Obviously you won't know how you feel until afterwards but it might be worth checking with your insurance now, then at least you know.

@110APiccadilly I agree with might t be ffull 6 weeks. Maybe more like 4.
Your hubbys work would hopefully understand if he has to do school runs while your recovering from surgery. 🤞

You can drive when you feel up to it. My doctor got me to stamp my foot on the floor, he said that if it didn't hurt then I was fine to drive. You just need to be able to do an emergency stop without pulling your scar.

@HaresHoping Ah I'd love to do resuables but there's no way my DP would buy into it and I don't want to end up doing even more by myself!

Trying to get as much 2nd hand as I can and reusable everything else (breast pads etc) to make up for it.

@weirdpanda I hope that you are managing to think things out a bit now. The whole advocating for myself thing gives me real anxiety. I was up half the night last night thinking about today. I have my consultant appointment in an hour to see how things are progressing. She is the one that would do the birth or C section (I hope), there are 2 more junior doctors on her team, but she did my DD's care and i'm high risk, so hoping for her. I have to try to have the "I would rather just do a C section than induction and hope he doesn't get too stressed by it at 37 weeks" chat today and see how it goes. Apparently with FGR (growth restricted babies) inductions can go wrong pretty fast, and i'd rather feel some element of control over all this than have an induction, get stretched out, then have an EMCS, and experience the worst of both worlds, and stress out the baby causing even more NICU time. She is very into natural birthing though, and my DD was natural, which I really had hoped for, but given the complications we now know of it seems unwise to stress this guy out from the get go. It's in my favour though that this stubborn monkey is still breach. Hoping she listens and lets us schedule this in. I know far too many horror stories of inductions gone to C sections now to make it sound appealing.

I cannot believe that the UK is hotter today than California in a drought... hope you are all staying indoors as much as possible, eating ice lollies and relaxing!