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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Why do women pretend the first trimester isn't a complete shitty awful drain?

114 replies

Ottersmith · 11/05/2022 23:58

I told my family today and when I mentioned I was Ill they were like
'oh why?' and they said
'do you have morning sickness?'
I thought are you kidding?? It's not just nausea, it's waking up every morning like you have a hangover, your digestive system grinding to a standstill and feeling so bloated and uncomfortable and tired in your own skin after dinner that you just need to be unconcious.

Why do people rank vomiting as the worst of it? My Mum said she was only ill a tiny bit with one of us and my sister said she had no nausea. Why do I need to hear that? Its nuts to act like I'm the strange one. It's like when people tell little girls that periods don't hurt. I think you women are actually batshit to be honest and either your hormones have made you forget how bad it was or you have just been pretending you felt ok because society wants women to just shut up about pain and get on with it.

And if you did feel fine then other women don't want to hear that at all.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WhoAre · 11/05/2022 23:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LemonSwan · 12/05/2022 00:03

Its because you will forget about it. Pregnancy and post partum is a series of uncomfortable events.

By the time you get to the end first tri is a distant memory!

AlmondyCookie · 12/05/2022 00:04

Surely the answer is everyone is different.
As someone who is utterly beyond relieved and happy to be pregnant after a long road to get here, I am loving the nausea, tiredness and all the rest of it. It's a reminder of this amazing thing that is happening.
So maybe your relatives either actually did not have much in terms of symptoms, or they were not as bothered by them for whatever reasons.

Anyway, hope things get better for you soon.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/05/2022 00:05

Because some people are totally fine, I wasn't one of them!

Marty13 · 12/05/2022 00:05

You are assuming everyone's experience is the same (i.e. as bad as yours) but it's not. I had zero symptoms during pregnancy. My SIL had hyperemesis. We're all different.

You're not "the strange one", you just have a different experience than your mother and sister. It's unfortunate that yours is turning out to be so unpleasant, but it's just a matter of chance.

Do speak to your doctor though, if you haven't already - they may be able to give you something for the nausea.

Namechanger355 · 12/05/2022 00:08

just each to their own isn’t it

I found the first trimester v tiring and felt uncomfortable/bloated. I didn’t even have morning sickness but still felt that wayv

2nd trimester was easy

3rd trimester started off ok but it was my worst trimester

and found post partum difficult

so it’s just a process with ups and downs and think people have short memories to be able to do it again

fallfallfall · 12/05/2022 00:09

Three pregnancies never experienced any of that. I did have some quirks regarding the smell of raw meat with the first, but that was easily avoided. No aches, no pains, no tiredness, no swollen breasts nothing.
the symptom spotting threads and symptom disappearing ones make me shake my head.

Indiana2021 · 12/05/2022 00:09

I has zero symptoms OP but constantly worried that it indicated there was something wrong.
Therefore I didn't particularly enjoy hearing all the gory details about other people's vomiting.
We're all different! I think with all due respect you need to get over yourself and unclench.

SpaceJamtart · 12/05/2022 00:12

I didn't go shouting about it but it wasn't uncomfortable, I didn't feel sick or nauseous and didn't feel any different than normal until I was over 30 weeks .
Although I am also one of those people for whom periods don't and never have hurt. One of my sisters is the same as me the other one was uncomfortable from the beginning.

I don't think anyone is lying to you, its just different for everyone

SpaceJamtart · 12/05/2022 00:15

And I was so glad when my sister told me she felt fine when she was pregnant because I was worried that something was wrong as all I had heard about was other women saying how uncomfortable everything was supposed to be.

LosingTheWill2022 · 12/05/2022 00:16

I'm really sorry you are having such a shit time. And can completely understand why you don't want to hear from those of us that didn't suffer as you are doing. But why do you disbelieve us?
I think you women are actually batshit to be honest and either your hormones have made you forget how bad it was or you have just been pretending you felt ok because society wants women to just shut up about pain and get on with it.

I found giving birth painful and have never felt the need to say anything other. But my pregnancy including the first trimester was pretty straightforward. I'm not batshit. Just different from you.

HeddaGarbled · 12/05/2022 00:16

I think you women are actually batshit to be honest

I think you’re rude.

username39583 · 12/05/2022 00:20

I recently starting following a page on social media called 'not morning sickness'. It's a campaign to stop using that term as it down plays massively how ill some women can be. Might be worth a follow OP. I hope you start to feel better soon. I was sick and exhausted 24/7 for the first 12-14 weeks with my pregnancy so can relate.

MintJulia · 12/05/2022 00:21

SpaceJamtart · 12/05/2022 00:12

I don't think anyone is lying to you, its just different for everyone

This.

Everyone has a different experience. I didn't realise I was pregnant until 14 weeks. I wasn't nauseous at all, I just thought I was starting the menopause.

I'm sorry you're feeling rough. I hope it passes quickly.

mackthepony · 12/05/2022 00:25

Totally agreed.

Went to stay with (child free by choice - this is important) friends and they COULDN'T believe I napped ONE afternoon out of the three days we were there AND we had a rampant toddler DS. I was about three months pregnant. Exhausted. Totally worn out

Biscoffer · 12/05/2022 00:38

OP, I’m going through the same thing right now. 9 weeks pregnant and constantly exhausted, nausea that lasts all day, bloating, sore boobs. My DM keeps saying “stop whinging, every woman goes through it.” Everyone else keeps telling me to eat ginger biscuits. Hopefully this will improve soon but it’s horrible.

DailySheetWasher · 12/05/2022 00:43

Well I've had 2 kids and the daily hangover thing you're describing is news to me, so I would have assumed you were talking about morning sickness too. Guess that makes me a liar, or batshit.

TomBradysLeftKneecap · 12/05/2022 00:46

My nausea, exhaustion and indigestion is far worse in peri menopause than anything I experienced through 4 pregnancies. It really is just different for everybody.

Sumcrops22 · 12/05/2022 01:10

Never posted before but felt I needed to comment my baby is 4 months old now and I had the worst pregnancy like you the only way I could describe it to others is the feeling of being hungover everyone told me I’d feel better once the first 12 weeks passed but I didn’t I suffered from nausea/ vomiting had the most horrendous heartburn right up until the day he was born and just generally felt crap I’d spend my days off work laid in bed as I had zero energy . I felt no one understood how I felt I was signed off work at 22 weeks male colleagues would make comments as if I was exaggerating and one even said well you wanted to get pregnant it was affecting me mentally I was in tears most days I wanted to feel normal again I also felt guilty for complaining about something some women dream to experience as soon as my son was born it was like I forgot that I felt rubbish for the past 9 months his little face was all worth it in contrast my sis in law who was pregnant at the same time had a brilliant pregnancy not one bad symptom and worked right up until her due date

Aquamarine1029 · 12/05/2022 01:19

The universe doesn't revolve your individual pregnancy experience. I guess we missed the memo that our pregnancy experience isn't valid unless we're as miserable as you are.

🙄

DifficultBloodyWoman · 12/05/2022 01:50

I’m with you, OP. And hiding pregnancy from work and friends until the second trimester is really tough when you feel that bad. (Multiple miscarriages in first trimester so didn’t want to spread the news too early).

MissedItByThisMuch · 12/05/2022 02:15

What so people are only allowed to comment about their own experience if it’s identical to yours? I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and I hope it improves for you soon, but the whole world doesn’t revolve around you, and other peoples’ experiences are just as valid as yours.

Coyoacan · 12/05/2022 02:15

The universe doesn't revolve your individual pregnancy experience. I guess we missed the memo that our pregnancy experience isn't valid unless we're as miserable as you are

This

You want to forget my good fortune of not having morning sickness just for your benefit. And I don't think people forget about having had morning sickness, actually.

DaftyLass · 12/05/2022 03:10

It's not helpful to make everyone think being pregnant means you have to suffer.
It sucks when it does happen, but lots of people don't have a hard go.
It made me scared when I first got pregnant, because all I'd heard were horror stories.
My first pregnancy was rough, with all sorts of sickness, my second was a breeze. Every one, and every pregnancy is different.

lottie222 · 12/05/2022 03:24

OP I HEAR You! I'm ten weeks and feel like you... I just want to cry most days. Feel hungover all day and it's just GRIM. I loathe being pregnant.

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