Why do women pretend the first trimester isn't a complete shitty awful drain?

[Ottersmith]

I told my family today and when I mentioned I was Ill they were like
'oh why?' and they said
'do you have morning sickness?'
I thought are you kidding?? It's not just nausea, it's waking up every morning like you have a hangover, your digestive system grinding to a standstill and feeling so bloated and uncomfortable and tired in your own skin after dinner that you just need to be unconcious.

Why do people rank vomiting as the worst of it? My Mum said she was only ill a tiny bit with one of us and my sister said she had no nausea. Why do I need to hear that? Its nuts to act like I'm the strange one. It's like when people tell little girls that periods don't hurt. I think you women are actually batshit to be honest and either your hormones have made you forget how bad it was or you have just been pretending you felt ok because society wants women to just shut up about pain and get on with it.

And if you did feel fine then other women don't want to hear that at all.

Sent too soon*
It changed around week 14 for me. But prior to that, aching joints, constant bloating which I lost almost a stone through as I really struggled to eat more than 2 mouthfuls before feeling full, and If I tried to eat more I'd throw up.
Constant headaches, exhaustion. Honestly very hard to be happy and grateful to be pregnant when you feel that shit.

How far along are you now OP?

First trimester is pretty awful - the sheer exhaustion of getting home from work and falling asleep on the sofa at 7pm! I agree that morning sickness shouldn’t be the barometer of feeling ill because for some women that doesn’t happen.

That said, all women are different, and I don’t think it’s particularly useful to be rude to women like the OP has been, especially not those who have had different experiences to you.

As an aside, ginger biscuits can fuck off.

I just didn't feel that bad. Sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also, you've got quite the tone about you - who made you queen of the first trimester? If you're this rude in real life I'd be saying I felt fine even if I'd been hospitalised with HG, just because you're so rude.

Try dropping the 'you're all lying, mad or selfish' bollocks and people might be more sympathetic.

You sound very ill and I am sorry for you but, as others have said, everyone is different. I had no pregnancy symptoms at all ... didn't even know I was pregnant until I was 10 weeks, I recovered very quickly from an EMCS and I have never had period symptoms or any discomfort during the menopause. Not saying this to sound smug or boastful but it is just my personal experience (and I am not super fit - am at least three stone overweight and rarely exercised in my life ) ... I am just very fortunate in that I am never ill.

Everyone is different
I had no symptoms and felt great for 9 months
The menopause however .....that's been a different story for me !

I still remember, I had HG it was vile, nothing touched the nausea. You have my sympathy, I didn’t get it until I had ALL DAY UNRELENTING SICKNESS. I really didn’t understand how sick you can feel for months without actually dying even with medication. I feel really bad at the “have you tried ginger and seabands” bullshit I inflicted on pregnant women before I got pregnant 🤦🏽‍♀️. Now I’m like “drugs, you need drugs”. I felt like the only people who understood were the ones who also had HG (and I think my case was mild compared to some horror stories).

having said that I know people who breezed through with no sickness, lucky cows. Maybe they genuinely just didn’t feel sick? The one thing I found slightly (and I mean very slightly) helpful was peppermint oil on a tissue to breath in when outside. I think it just blocked out all other smells.

i didnt even have symptoms and no bump til 30 weeks.
only symptom really at the beginning was sensitive nipples for a week then nothing

I totally agree OP. I felt like a super freak because I detested pregnancy, whereas every other woman seemed to be some Earth mother who positively adored it. Nearly 5 years on, I know that some love pregnancy, others such as myself hate it and view it as a means to an end.

It's absolutely fine to not enjoy it. I wasn’t sick once, but felt permanently hungover for about 16/17 weeks to varying degrees. My GP actually said to me that it’s lucky that we tend to forget how shit it all is otherwise the human race would’ve died off!

Good luck with your pregnancy, it won’t last for forever but it probably will feel like it will until you have your baby!

I felt tired and sick but I wouldn't have described myself as ill. A couple of friends had such bad sickness in their first and second trimesters that they really were ill. It was horrendous for them. I don't need to pretend I went through that when I didn't. That would be insulting to people who do have difficult pregnancies.

Sorry you're struggling OP.

If we remembered the human race would have died out long ago, no one would have had children more than once...

I think we're programmed to forget all the rubbish bits of pregnancy until we (re) encounter them. Sucks!

Because most people don’t get that sick - and the ones who do, do not forget.

I used to sit on the edge of the bath and cry after I’d brushed my hair because it was so exhausting.

I considered termination because I felt so grim.

don’t worry - it gets better. As your pregnancy progresses you can look forward to having to run to the bath, strip off and then simultaneously vomit AND piss yourself.

please see your GP if you can and get some meds - they literally saved my life.

I didn’t glow in pregnancy, I basically drooled, puked, pissed myself and sported hideous cold sores.

I think as others said; because some people don't actually feel bad. I threw up every day for 17 weeks and constantly felt nauseated and awful with both pregnancies and years later it's very vividly in my mind. On the other hand a friend of mine never felt sick at all with either pregnancy, and found it all very easy and enjoyable! My mother also said she was never sick with all 4 of her children.

I did feel fine, but had a shitty 3rd trimester with my first, and 2nd trimester with my second when every other woman seems to be "blooming".
We are all allowed to be honest and comment on our own experiences.
Sorry you're going through a tough stage.

I feel for you but everyone is different so it's not about being batshit or lying

I honestly felt nothing wrong in first trimester

I was desperate for a symptom: nausea, illness, tender breasts etc. i did feel a bit tired but not significantly so

Sounds like you're having a rough ride

I felt great in my the first trimester, apart from a bit of nausea in the morning. Nobody is lying, it's just that everyone has a different experience.

I feel you as I'm 12+6 and have felt hideous with nausea and like I have no blood flowing through my veins for the past 7 weeks, but I do also see the other side. I think there's a few reasons. Some women don't have these symptoms, some women do but forget about them - I met a lady who had HG with multiple pregnancies and said she just forgot about it before conceiving next baby. Some people just want to put a bright spin on it. I also think it's probably not possible to accurately describe just how tired something so tiny can make you feel. Until you're in it, you can't really fully get it.

To be honest, I'm absolutely sick of the few people who know about our pregnancy telling me how awful everything is going to be all the time.

I didn't find the first trimester too bad, I was lucky. Second and third where Norte does for me though. I knew once they're here I'd forget it

The short answer to this is just not everyone feels rubbish in the first trimester. My first pregnancy I didn't have a single symptom in the first trimester. This time I've been slightly tired and occasionally nauseous. Not enough to shout about.

Hang in there 10-13 weeks was the absolute worst for me. Now at 16 weeks and I feel great. No more 24/7 nausea and dry heaving, I have more energy and am enjoying the second trimester. This too shall pass 😊

Every pregnancy is different. I didn't have morning sickness or nausea at all with any of my 3 pregnancies. I'm not going to pretend I did. I did have horrific SPD in both cases where the pregnancy went to term though.

You're upset because your family are taking you seriously and minimising your experience, which is not on.

As your pregnancy progresses you can look forward to having to run to the bath, strip off and then simultaneously vomit AND piss yourself

WTF 😳

My first trimester was relatively trouble free apart from a bleed at 9 weeks. A bit of nausea and tiredness.

My second trimester was fine.

My third trimester was by far the worse - height of summer, reduced movement, anxiety ramped up.

I think everyone is different. I'd never ignore or downplay any woman's symptoms in any trimester. People continually said to me in my third trimester that I should be feeling a certain way and it made the whole situation much worse.

Every pregnancy is different. My first pregnancy:
First trimester was uncomfortable but bearable; I had bad wind and I went off all the food/drinks that I liked which was frustrating. However I honestly did not have morning sickness (sorry!)
Second trimester was wonderful, I was on top of the world
Third trimester was good until last few weeks when I developed severe PUPPP and nothing took the itch away.

Current pregnancy:
First trimester I had dreadful all-day nausea until into second trimester, about week 16.
Second trimester I had trouble sleeping, round ligament pain, bad hip pain and pelvic pain.
Third trimester - I am really enjoying so far! The pelvic pain has mostly subsided and although my bladder is painfully squashed I am generally feeling ok and even excited about birth.

Point I’m making: every pregnancy is different even for the same woman.

Oh yeah and I forgot about the numerous hospital visits I had this time in first trimester due to bleeding. Really thought I was losing the pregnancy but whenever I got to the hospital they could find no reason for a bleed?!

So glad to be here in the third trimester excitedly awaiting her arrival!

The final trimester is the worst of the three...