Minster's 8th Side Car - Best not let the men see our post-partum bodies eh?!

[larrythelizard]

2022 Bumps

DKDK123 10 May💗
bez91 14 May 💛
Minster2012 22 May 💗 (C-section the week before)
whatwonder 5 June 💛
feliznavidad2 5 July 💗
SWAttempting 23 July (will be delivered in June) 💗
paintfairy 24 July 💗
Vil10 1 August 💛
Juno231 11 August 💗
kaylsd 15 August 💛
larrythelizard 18 August 💛
Inkypaper 28 October 💛
BellatrixK 15 November 💛

Sidecar Babies 👶👶👶

Kirky658 11 August 2021 💗
Kate105 14 October 2021 💙
Justanothercyster 10 November 2021 💗
2020Mission 27 December 2021 💙
blackcurrantqueen 17 January 2022 💗
Crazydoglady123 29 January 2022 💗
Haiyaa 1 February 2022 💙
becarefuloutthere 26 February 2022 💗
Lexber 14 April 2022 💗💙

@Minster2012 hurray for X having a dry night! Big hugs for his mood shifts though, they sound horrible to have to deal with 🤗

@Kate105 PTSD sleeping through the night is awesome! Keeping everything crossed it continues for you!

@larrythelizard sounds a brilliant weekend! Glad you had a good time!

@kaylsd hurray for viability week!

@bez91 we are definitely finding out the gender as soon as we can! 😄 I'm with the others - tell your boss to shove it. You shouldn't have to out your health at risk because of their poor planning. You can still do handovers via video calls

Met up with family today for a meal out, which was lovely but it's eye-opening how unaccessible some "accessible" places are. Getting a wheelchair and a pram through a pub restaurant was an interesting experience! Looooot of driving though, super tired now, and have creeping scanxiety about tomorrow. So does DH. My brother gave us bags of baby clothes, so spent some time sorting through them today and then realised this was gonna really suck if it all goes wrong at the scan.

@Minster2012 hooray for a dry night, let's hope he continues it now 🤞
I feel for you on the frustration geared towards you. DS went through a spell of hitting me and being really nasty towards me. Luckily it only lasted a few weeks, he's still very much it's all about Daddy just now and still says some hurtful things or doesn't want me but the actual hitting has stopped. I'd mentioned to his nursery at the time incase he started hitting kids in there and they were amazing they did some work with him on feelings etc and in a small group with kids who have became big brothers/sisters in the past years so they could all talk about the changes etc. She also said she's found it very common when mum's pregnant that there comes a stage they turn on mum and seem angry towards her but it's often a misplaced anxiety that they don't know how to deal with as they're scared about mum going into hospital and leaving them and the changes happening to mum. So I sat DS down and we started talking about me going into hospital and that I would need to be there a few days just so the doctors could give me medicine and put a plaster on my tummy cut but after they did that for a few days I would be coming back home again. And we spoke about all the things i cant do just now but that once babys born I slowly would be able to do them all again. That really seemed to help him and for a few days after he kept checking in with me repeating it and saying that I was going into hospital but I was definitely coming home after a few days so he must have needed that reasurrance. And if i cant do something now like sit on the floor and play i try to label it to something he can see so even if its my back thats sore ill say I cant get pj the floor just now, mummys tummys too big and sore but remember its just because Emilys getting so big inside there so she can come meet you soon and once she comes out my tummy wont be so big and sore anymore. Things like that acknowledging things have changed but it wont be forever really seems to have helped. Things are still far from perfect, Daddy is still number 1 in his eyes right now, but that real anger streak seems to have lifted at least and the mean comments are getting less. Hopefully it lifts with your DS too, it really is a tricky time for them even when theyre excited about it.

@bez91 tell your manager that you're limiting your contacts as its so close that baby could come any time but you're happy to liaise over teams/phone. I've been talking to my replacement over the phone and email.

@paintfairy I'm barely functioning, more like just barley holding on at the moment. Everything hurts, literally feel like im going to explode and I think if I'd gotten pregnant easily I'd be utterly miserable by now but instead I can keep thinking of the fact that I've made it nealry to the finish line when I never thought it was possible so I will take being massive and sore anyday to have made it this far.
You will definitely go through stages in pregnancy of your DH passing you off to high heavens even for so much as breathing the wrong way. It also carries on after baby's born if they get an ounce more sleep than you! but it does get better and you will fall in love with him again......and then start thinking of having another one and so the cycle continues 😂

Happy viability week @kaylsd its a great milestone to reach. Hooray for the last of the nightshifts coming up, you'll feel the better for dropping them.

@Franklydear go you Mrs productive superwoman 🦸‍♀️

@Kate105 do not get excited, they can sense the excitement and will revert right back! 😂

@InkyPaper hand hold for the scanxiety, every one of us goes through it its completely normal to feel that way when you want something so much but we're all here for you. I've got a scan tomorrow too and even now at 35 weeks despite the fact I can feel baby partying away, I know I'll still hold my breath tomorrow till the sonographer shows me the heartbeat.

I have officially accepted defeat and hung up my driving hat. I was going to try push through for taking DS to nursery the next 2 weeks just because once I have the baby DH will need to do it for about 6 weeks till I can drive again and it means him going to work late and leaving work a few hours early to do it so I was trying to hang on as long as possible this side so as not to add to it. But once he heard my feet were only just touching the peddles and the steering wheel was crushing my bump he put his foot down and said no more driving for me work will just need to be flexible. I think our recent hospital visit with the problems with baby's heart rate has given him a bit of a scare he's been treating me like a China doll since then and really making even more of an effort (not that I'm complaining!).

What's going off with MN?! I wrote a lovely long catch up post last night and it wouldn't load! 🤦🏽‍♀️

All good here, busy but good! Absolutely loving being a new mum to twins! They're an absolute dream most of the time (Altho I've been up for a feed since 3.30am and Elsie is fusing a little but seems to have settled now) Not so much loving all the comments we get about how they won't stay like this forever and "just you wait" - well firstly I bloody know I've had 2 before! And 2ndly they may be happy babies, if they aren't they aren't 🤷🏽‍♀️ so many negative people "double trouble" "rather you than me" lol

Tiredness hit today but OH was an angel and took them down leaving me in bed as I did the night feeds, then an hour later brought me breakfast in bed which I ate and fell back to sleep 🤣
Really struggling with my hips still, but I think part of that was my labour and stupidity of pushing into my heels with an epidural so couldn't feel my hips at the time.. if they're still bad in a few weeks I'm going to speak to dr/hv/physio I think

Not long now ladies, I'm so excited for the next few babies ❤️❤️

@Lexber first, hello lovely, they are beautiful babies, people are arseholes, that’s why, most siblings have been telling me how lovely , nicely behaved, you wouldn’t know he’s autistic ds is, yes, you do not see behind the screen though, that comes with a lot of work but thanks, the other, has a friend with an autistic toddler and a special needs teacher friend who assures him there’s ‘levels’ of autism and they can catch up, lucky her I no longer live in my home town I have a couple of home truths to tell her, I did put him right, autistics are individuals, just like everybody else, and looking neurotypical, so not the goal, I did give sil a couple of tips for their friend, toddler is nearly 3 and going through diagnosis, non verbal and in nappies, my brothers face when I remind him that mine too at that age, don’t write him off yet....🤦🏼‍♀️ awareness and acceptance in the Middle Ages there still

Oh and the horror, another sil’s nephew has dyslexia, which classes you take him off for ‘therapy’? Spanish and maths, obviously, the teacher says he just needs to try harder and might have to repeat year due to that, not an empty threat, they make him do twice year 3 for that, I think he is in year 5 now, he’s 10 but hard to remember the school year when they keep him behind, please note the big unsurpassable problem is dyslexia

@Franklydear I may go in for a couple of hours one day but that is it. My new boss has 2 kids, quite different in age from different marriages and strikes me as the type of guy who left everything to his wife so wouldn't really get it! Sounds a chaotic day, I hate those type of days when coming back from being away but sounds like you got it sorted 👍🏼

@kaylsd happy viability stage 🥳

@Minster2012 frustrating on DS, he just likely can't convey how he's feeling. If DH is favourite atm, up to him to try and take the lead in addressing it I think. DH has been out of the house most of the week on call which has worked both ways. Attached to me for cuddling, putting her to bed and things she knows I can do but as soon as she wants to play fight or get 100million things out the shed to play with "you're rubbish where's daddy"

@DKDK123 ahh DDs nursery did that too with feelings as a few of them are becoming siblings too. She made a mood board which was good but played into her diva-ish ways ie changing the sign on the fridge to upset because we only had corn flakes and not rice crispies for breakfast 🙄 good idea to express all the stuff is only temporary though! Sounds the best thing to do with driving and great that DH can help out lots more. Handhold for the scan today 💕

@larrythelizard sounds a lovely weekend! Carsington is gorgeous 😍

@InkyPaper thinking of you today 💕

@Kate105 oooh I really hope you're not being led into a false sense of security 🤞🏼

@Lexber that would rile me up too, it's always the same thing people say 😴 change the record. Glad to hear you're all doing well and you're loving twin life

Stupidly booked the car in for a service for today a few weeks ago, need to drop it off then walk 1.5 miles home which is usually obviously fine but with a whining 4 year old in tow - I'm not feeling it 🤦🏼‍♀️

@bez91 we'll make sure you do minimal in the office, last week! DH has always been DS's favourite, that's nothing new & im not the person he cuddles or anything (it's only recently since baby he will snuggle to me) it's just the extreme behaviour. DH is def trying to address it too so let's hope. Wait you are walking home from the car??? Ask them when you get there to drop you off
(In your car so car seat) then drive it back???

@Franklydear you know you are an amazing mum! On the phones I have to set up mine, then pass on my old phone to MIL (so I have to set that up for her) then wipe hers & her old one goes to my mum, so I have to sort 3 essentially which is an arse 🙄

@Lexber you are doing so well!! And sounds like OH is doing brilliantly too so you get your rest darling. There will always be knobs around im afraid with opinions that are not welcome

@DKDK123 yeah sounds similar we are trying to navigate it, hoping it will get better. It's all snuggles this morning so we'll see

@InkyPaper 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻for the scan and having the clothes yes it's a bit 😬but it doesn't change things!

@Kate105 I hope this is the start of the BIG SLEEP!!

In nappy news it's been two dry nights (last night was a decent bed time) so maybe just one child in nappies 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Tbf @Minster2012 if I'd kept my legs crossed I'd not be in this mess now 🤣

I'd be really upset by that too @Minster2012, hang in there xxx

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 you avoid the Rona @Kate105!

Thinking of you today @InkyPaper - what time is your scan?

Pleased your DH is looking after you so well @DKDK123. Hoping it's a productive consultant appt today and that you all come up with a plan that works for you, Emily and the medical team

Lovely to hear from you @Lexber and that it's all going so well - tiredness is to be expected with newborns! All ok with your big girls?

People are just weird @Franklydear! I mean the judgy ones btw

Oh god @bez91 - taxi?!

Ooh get x and his dry nights @Minster2012, clever boy!

First proper session in the gym in quite a while - oof! I got just to go on my own instead of in a pair though so went really light on the weight and just did what I wanted!

Got a bloody cold sore for the first time ever, I think my immune system is fucked after all the illness and pregnancy. Going to be very strict with taking my vitamins and make sure I eat shit loads of fruit and veg and hopefully that will help!

@larrythelizard a proper cold sore foot the first time? You need to tell the midwife that i think. I had this discussion with my consultant. They aren't worried if you've had it before because you have antibodies. If you've never had it before then you should mention it. And keeping my legs crossed wasn't even a factor, which we do laugh about. Mostly because other people say things and no one actually knows it was ivf.
@Minster2012 I think it will pass with X. Its just not exactly a nice feeling at the time! You give everything to them and they hate you. But he doesn't really hate you anyway. 2 dry nights is sounding promising!
@InkyPaper good luck today! 🤞 And I've had that thought re going places. Many places are probably inaccessible with a pram and I've also thought about changing facilities! I bet it's so awkward, but you've never had to worry about it before.
@DKDK123 yeah I think the end is never fun anyway. But if you are big then its just even worse. I suppose you have to tell yourself it's not forever and you did want this! But every hour feels like forever. 🤣 Not long now though and she might decide she isn't waiting, if she's kind. 😁
I hope your scan goes well.
@Lexber awww it sounds like everything is going great. Yeah people always like to comment, tell them to piss off. 2 will be harder work but no one needs to point that out? Kind of common sense. But that doesn't mean it won't also be twice as enjoyable at other times. You can't exactly send one back, so what's the point in commenting? 🙄 Your OH sounds great!
@bez91 omg, no, you don't want to be walking!

How have I hit the 3rd trimester? 😱 And my baby already has her first pony. 🤭 My neighbour gave me a little rocking horse, she was having a clear out. 🤣

Oh- pants! I know I need to get some semi big pants and I have been eyeing some up. But I think it was mentioned on here before about extra big pants? In case of c section? I thought maybe i should get some. So wondered if anyone had recommendations? I've just ordered 2 nighties and a thin dressing gown.

Hi @Franklydear oh I know the frustration of "they don't look autistic" 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️ that's because you have seen 30 minutes of them on a good day, not the behind the scenes preparation to get to that point. People are idiots!
Big girls are absolutely in love with them @larrythelizard and so helpful and doting, the younger one was a little overwhelmed then overbearing tans has now chilled a little - it was the excitement I think.

Yeah I will @paintfairy I've got 25 week check coming up soon. Whoop for third trimester!!!

Lovely @Lexber 😍😍😍

PTSD slept through! Until 5:30... so I did the responsible thing and pretended I couldn't hear him and tried to get back to sleep until 6:30 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 he was very grouchy this morning!

@Lexber I love seeing your pics on IG, seeing newborns is cute but there's just something about seeing twins together that melts my heart it's like you can see their bond already even tho they're just newborns 🥰 Glad to hear they're settling in well with the girls.

@Franklydear how awful for your SILs nephew to be made to keep repeating years for something thats outwith his control. I can't belive their solution is to make him repeat and tell him to try harder rather than them offer the support he needs, so shocking!

@bez91 to walk 1.5miles while pregnant and a 4year old in tow 😵 Is there nowhere near the garage like soft play or a cafe or something you guys could hang out in till the car's ready? Failing that I'd definitely be getting a bus or taxi home your body (and sanity) will thank you for it!

Two dry nights is a row is fab news @Minster2012 🥳

@larrythelizard it makes me feel tired just reading about the gym, you're amazing for managing to keep going 💪 Not so good on the cold sore, your body must be feeling really run down, take care of yourself.

@paintfairy 3rd trimester 🥳 very cute on the rocking horse donation from your neighbour, I'm sure baby will be big enough to play on it before you know it. On the big pants front I got these from asda, they wont win any sexy pants of the year awards but they're only £7.50 for a pack of 5 and comfy. direct.asda.com/george/women/lingerie/knickers/maternity-black-full-brief-knickers-5-pack/GEM929593,default,pd.html?cgid=D1M18G2C2?shareProduct=true

Last week of work 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 And as I'm at the hospital this afternoon today is only a half day so only 2 1/2 working days left before mat leave kicks in 😁 I also realised today I'm 35+4 which is the exact gestation DS was born at so as long as I get to tomorrow (which 99% sure I will) then I'll officially have made it longer in this pregnancy than the last, hooray 😂

Braved the walk back from the garage, persuaded DD we could call at the cafe on the way back for a milkshake which was a winner, cramping a bit now though and knackered 🙈 @DKDK123 that would have been ideal but they need it most of the day ☹️ I've told DH he's going to have to leave work early if we want it back today 😆
Snap on last week at work 😁

@paintfairy Yayyy third tri 🥳 I got some great pants from Primark, few sizes bigger than I normally am but nice big apple catcher pants like the no VPL ones that are microfibre and super comfy, I wish I'd have bought more as I've packed them all in my hospital bag now.

thanks for the new bus @larrythelizard - love the title 😆

wrote out a big post and then MN wouldn't let me post it. hating the new update. honestly can't remember what I wrote now, but hope everyone is doing well. @DKDK123 @bez91 @Minster2012 not long for you guys now! Feels pretty surreal to be close to the top of the list!

@kaylsd happy viability, that definitely is a big milestone!

@InkyPaper sending love for your scan today, crazy that you're already 10 weeks! @BellatrixK are you about the same?

@paintfairy happy 3rd trimester!

@bez91 can't believe you did it! Wow now sit down!

@paintfairy that's brilliant!!! Maybe time to think about the car??? And loving the fact she's got a pony! I've got big knickers that go upto belly button (which is what ppl suggest for c sections to go up that high) I got 5 pack from matalan. Not started wearing yet. I can't do it to myself yet 😝

@Kate105 boooooooommmm you are smashing this parenting malarkey

@larrythelizard yes if you'd have kept legs shut (& off the work cocktails???) then wouldn't be in the position 🤪

So had my physio call and yes legs together, feet flat. She didn't want to give me exercises as she was like it's not recommended at your late stage of pregnancy. She thinks it's all down my knee injury causing incorrect alignment then baby pressing and should go basically after birth which is MUSIC 🎶 to my ears & she gave some useful tips for after birth. However she did say she could see my section isn't confirmed yet & she said it's unlikely they'd bring it forwards as just no time with my appointments. Tbh I don't mind that if I can walk ok & not jumping in pain in the mean time which I'm ok atm.

In other news I forgot to say last night DH might have broken the nipple leaking seal when we were DTD. He stopped & looked at a bit of white. No sign since then though so 🤷🏼‍♀️maybe he can help milk me for colostrum?

had a fairly rough week last week, SPD has been getting worse and I've started to get some really bad lower back pain as well (are they connected? is this all because of my pelvic floor? who knows...) I've got a physio appt on Thursday with a women's health physio so hoping that helps (I'm assuming she's going to be doing an internal exam, my first one ever, so mentally preparing for that).

also ended up getting that stomach bug that's been going around (@paintfairy - was it your DH that had it recently?) and couldn't keep anything down for 48 hours so was feeling rough and got pretty dehydrated. ended up in maternity triage for monitoring but baby's HR looks good (slightly high but they're not too concerned I guess). trying to get back into a normal eating pattern now

Well. Took PTSD for his first swimming lesson today. Had high hopes because he loved swimming the last (only) time I took him.

He screamed all the way through it. Screamed the changing rooms down. Screamed out to the car. Made another child cry he was crying so much. Was asleep before I left the car park (he did have his usual nap this morning before we left!) and I’m now sat in the car outside plastic playgroup with my sad sandwich, desperately needing a wee and simultaneously hoping PTSD wakes up soon and that he stays asleep for the rest of the day 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

FFS! NOT HAPPY. 😡
Joiner messaged yesterday to say he will come today. Fine (good job i dont leave the house like) but i was just like - get it done. After he left and i looked - well, shambles is what springs to mind. There's so much wasted space its ridiculous and i just dont know why its like it is. 🙄DH has told me i have to ring him and get him back but i dont dare. 😂Looking forwards to that conversation tonight. Oh and nothing is square and i think i could have done it myself just as badly. The concern is that we have him booked to do the bannister and hall work and my gut feeling is saying dont have him. But i'm not going to be able to get anyone else before the baby is born now. Utter disaster. I did contact one the other day (6th sense) who said he was booked up for the rest of this year!

@larrythelizard @Franklydear I'm not sure how you 'look' autistic anyway. Yes there are different levels but that doesnt mean you will catch up. Because everyone has their own bloody level and it is what it is? I actually think i have to to a degree. I'm a nightmare for smells, lights, sounds, textures but its controllable to a point no one probably is aware.
@Kate105 i would have pretended not to hear him too. 😬As for swimming, i'd have cried and gone home.
@DKDK123 Thanks for the pants link!
@bez91 well done on the walk!
@Minster2012 Ah i forget about matalan. Some places are so expensive and i know i wont wear them after this. And definitely no - dont wear them yet! 😂I hope not until the time comes to be honest. I also hope i'm not bigger than you are by your stage! That would be amazing. I'm glad the physio called.
@whatwonder i have no idea what it was but yes DH was throwing up and felt awful for about 2 days. it came on tuesday morning, by that night he was throwing up and did all night. He spent most the next day in bed. After that he improved slowly but still had bad pains and didnt eat normal food until friday.

@Kate105 just one bad day, tomorrow will be better, I'm sure he'll love it next time! I have to say I wake a sleeping baby so they don't have too much day sleep to interfere with the night.

@paintfairy why can't DH talk to him????

@whatwonder yeah I had a bug too last weekend it's not nice but pleased baby is all good & you are better too. I think it's all connected really, not that my physio gave me much to DO to help, she just said do not a lot now

Excellent work @Kate105, I ignored DS crying in the night! Suspect he may have been asleep still as he didn't turn up in our room!

I'm way less pregnant than you though @DKDK123! You've done so well to get this far (never mind how much further you get)

Well done @bez91, heroic effort!

Ha thought you might @whatwonder - sorry to hear you've had a rough ride. I read up on dehydration after my multiple bugs and it's important to replace electrolytes as well as water - lucozade/high-5 tablets/diorlyte etc and can take up to 5 days to be hydrated again.

Annoying not to have anything to help @Minster2012 but makes sense it's all the same issue and deffo sounds positive for clearing up after birth.

Surely it's better to not have the shit person back for the bannister and cope without until you can get someone decent in @paintfairy

DS has just argued with DH that 'mummy's feet are not bigger than mine, mine are littler than mummy's' 🤣🤣🤣 - this is deffo my logic!

@Minster2012 that's good news if they think the pain will lift after baby's born with no long term problems 🤞 Tell DH to get milking 😂

@whatwonder hope your appointment is useful, do share any tips they give you as theres a few suffering at the minute but face to face physio appointments seem to be few and far between.

@Kate105 I'd sack plastic playgroup after your morning and go home via somewhere nice to replace your sandwich, you deserve it.

@paintfairy my DH is a joiner and he said there are a lot of cowboys out there right now claiming to be professional joiners but the majority only have experience in fitting flat pack kitchens. Any decent joiner at the minute has a waiting list of around 6months plus, if you can get one at short notice stay clear. They've hired 3 joiners now that have been fired within a few weeks as he said his apprentice can do better joinery work than the so called joiners they've hired. Definitely complain and get him to come back and fix all the bits you're not happy with.

Good news is they're still aiming to keep baby in till the 10th if possible, although even the consultant isn't as optimistic now. You know its going to be one of those appointments when the sonographers scanning you for 30mins then says "I'm just going to go get the consultant out of the clinic to come scan you personally, I'd prefer she had a look" 🙈 Baby's heart is still irregular, very weird seeing it on the screen you can actually see it stopping at times like it's sticking before starting up again, fluid is one of the most they've ever seen - I think we all knew that from the size of me in the pics 😂, baby's growth has slowed right down which they're a bit concerned about as its also coupled with the fact the blood flow through the placenta isn't as good as it should be any more. And my BP was sky high so they had to take bloods as they don't know if its the pre-e or the fact they did my blood pressure after all the news about baby 🙄 The good news however is that despite her heart being irregular and blood flow through placenta not great, she's very wriggly and strong showing that she's not in distress hence why they're willing to try keep her in a bit longer which is great news. The consultant is going to scan me personally again next Monday and see if we can still keep pushing it to the 10th but I've to get the steroid injections next Mon/Tues incase not. They are expecting a lot of blood loss again so although my blood count is currently great I've to start iron tablets to make it even better and they've got a plan in place for transfusing my own blood back into me with spares on stand by etc so it sounds all well planned out, I can even still start off awake tho May need to be put asleep after baby is out whilst they're controlling the bleeding but I'm fine with that. So quite a mixed appointment lots of worrying news but coupled with good news or the knowledge that the consultant has things well planned out makes me feel reassured and the fact that despite her problems baby is strong ( like her mummy of course) so all is good 😁

Ok so not the amazing news you were hoping for but still sounds like a good plan @DKDK123 - surely if they were that concerned they'd have you on bed rest/in hospital this week. Will keep fingers crossed for an awake section in case it happens unexpectedly before the 10th!

@larrythelizard I'm on strict bed rest at home so shall need to get myself a bell and have DH at my beck and call 😂 Only I need to sleep upright as the weight of the fluid even on my side will put too much pressure on my arteries and lungs, which I've already noticed myself anyways I wake up struggling to breath after 10mins lying down. But I'm happy that despite difficulties all is still going well too if you get what I mean

Love the idea of you with a bell @DKDK123 🤣