Due May 2022 thread 5

[Kittycaz]

@midnight90 @MrsMay19 @JMill13 @YfenniChristie @EastMidsGem @morphe @Sarah239 @fejkalove @Mummyingetc @Orangesunshin @aNewYorkerInLondon @Bubbasmama2017 @GinnyBee @Lavendersblue42 @Honeymint @YummyMummyXoX @K834baby3

Hey all if I missed anyone please add. Noticed last board is almost full.

@Bubbasmama2017 Mine is 6 years old. I think there was only one design when I first got mine. Not sure how the 360 works, sorry, but have you tried looking for advice on you tube? I had to check you tube to work out how to use mine and thankfully there was a step by step video on how to use mine. Xx

@YfenniChristie I hope your little ones weight improves soon. You are trying everything you can to improve his weight and he has gained weight and outgrown his clothes so that means all that you are already doing is having a positive impact! If you continue to follow the advice then it seems like you will see more progress with his weight. I'm really sorry that you have to express as I know that can be so inconvenient if you haven't planned to express. I expressed initially before I used nipple shields and found it very difficult. Sending lots of love. X

@H0peing that's a good idea, I've told him how overwhelming I'm finding it but not given him specific tasks so maybe that's the way to go do you share doing your older child's bedtime? I'm struggling with doing it while feeding.
Are you still using the nipple shields? I'd really like to stop now, baby is 5 weeks old and won't feed without them

@GinnyBee omg yeah! I feel you 100% you feel like, why am I the one who has the baby that won't do/go in anything?!.. our current faff is feeding, 1 flow is too slow so he's frustrated and falls asleep, 2 is too quick sometimes so he's spitting milk out the sides and getting frustrated and crying cos we're pulling the bottle out so many times during a feed it takes longer than the old flow teat! I phoned the health visitor and she just says keep on at it.. that's fine, it's not you that's doing the shitty hour feeds where he's stressed and throwing himself about 🤯 just nothing is easy or straight forward with my child 😂😂

@GinnyBee I dread having to go anywhere in the car because he'll either scream the whole time or settle off into a sleep, I wanted to go out to get a coffee yesterday and he wouldn't settle all day and the minute I put him in the at seat he just screamed.. that was my realisation that he's the boss and I can't do what I want anymore 😂😂

I wish I could use a sling more but I stress so much about getting the fit right... I have a Mamaruga Zensling too - hired from my local sling library two days ago - but I can't put it on myself yet, so now my partner is back at work I find myself just stuck in bed/sofa most days. I've had my breakfast next to me for 2 hours and not been able to finish it yet as she has just been feeding constantly. She has just fallen asleep on me FINALLY but still sucking and now I have The Fear about transferring her anywhere else. So it doesn't really make a difference if she is feeding or sleeping as either way I am stuck.

I definitely find not being able to put her down the hardest part. That and when nothing seems to settle her apart from 2hr long feeds. I love cuddles but I'm only human and I need a break too... and also to have the use of my hands! Thank God my mum is coming over in a few hours as maybe then I will actually be able to do something.

Also my c-section incision means the weight of having her in the sling feels like it is putting pressure on that, so I'm reluctant to use it for long :/

@H0peing same! I need to get him in his next to me crib but he won't go in there, cry's as soon as his back touches the mattress 😂😂 oh nice about your 6 week check! Apparently I can't have mine until 8 weeks, the same time the baby has his.. so I don't have a clue what my stitches/scars like.. haven't had a bath since having him cos I refuse to have a plain bath I want bubbles and bath bombs, cos I didn't have them when I was pregnant 😂😂

@Bubbasmama2017 my baby is 3.5 weeks and still reliant on nipple shields, they are a pain in the bum long-term aren't they! She has developed a habit of kicking/punching them off too which is helpful! We had about a minute of shield-free latching this morning so I still have hope but it's soooo slow progress getting her to latch without.

@MissM94 mine normally goes crazy when she is put in the car seat at first, but the motion of actually driving normally sends her to sleep. I haven't driven anywhere myself yet though (3 weeks to go after caesarean) and I'm scared of if she starts crying when I'm driving along. But I'll also hate if she is silent as then I will worry she's stopped breathing! Can't win.

I totally agree it is relentless and you are right to speak to your health visitor!

@Bubbasmama2017 I have to give DH specific tasks to do so he knows how he can help otherwise he doesn't seem to realise how he can help. He puts DS to bed every night now whilst I feel DD. I can't imagine trying to do both so well done to anyone who can! I'm no longer using nipple shields because thankfully she managed to latch after about a week of using them but I've heard that it can take longer than that. Xx

@Sarah239 yes they are a right pain. The HV didn't seem to think they're an issue as long as she's feeding and gaining weight but they're an issue for me not baby!

@Sarah239 Mine used to punch the nipple shields off too! I preferred them to expressing but still found them very annoying! It's great that she's managed a short time without the shield, that's how it started for me. First only about a minute before she got frustrated and I'd have to put the shield back on and then it got longer over some time. I hope she latched on without them soon. Xx

@Sarah239 Not sure if you've got a baby car seat mirror yet? I find it a bit helpful as at least I can see her clearly then we can stop the car ASAP if we need to. X

@H0peing we have got some and will use them when we are solo driving, thanks! I just feel like I won't be able to tell if she's breathing from them as it's a bit too far away to see those small chest movements, especially in a moving vehicle!

@MissM94 The Dr only checked mine because I asked her to at my 6 week check. She said that it would be the HV who usually checks stitches and only then if you tell her you're concerned about them. X

Glad I'm not the only one still waiting for a bath because I want bubbles and bath bombs 😂 just hot 6 weeks on Tuesday so I'm assuming I'm allowed now? But a bit scared in case i'm supposed to wait to see the dr for my check first?

Rang up about the 8 week jabs yesterday so they're all booked just waiting on the appointment card so I can book my 6 week check.

Everyone that is struggling, I promise it does get easier once they start interacting more. Having a not quite 2 year old and a 6 week old is great craic...i barely know my arse from my elbow these days. Had 4 weeks of absolute sleep hell with the toddler on top of a 12 hour vom bug (for him and OH), Covid and then OH parents had both so couldn't help with childcare, partner thankfully works from home or I'd have been running for the hills by now. He's keeping the house tidy while working and doing most of the toddler night stuff though it got so bad we both had to take it in turns for the 4 weeks but we're finally through it and back to normal sleep.

Hats off to you all breastfeeding, I definitely wouldn't have been able to manage it this time round even if someone had paid me.

Sending you all love and hope the babies start sleeping and napping soon X

Sending support to those struggling, it is really hard. I found it so hard to adjust with my first baby, it was a horrendous time but I can assure you all it gets a lot easier and a lot better, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and little by little it will get easier.

Dd1 is my third baby and I still have bad days where I’m stressed as she won’t be put down and inevitably I have to to sort out the other 2 (3 and 5) . We had her 8 week jabs yesterday and it was a very stressful day as she was so poorly after them. She’s woken up all smiles this morning so she seems to be feeling a lot better. In the last few days she’s been happy to lie on her playmat and look at the toys and chill for 5-10 mins which she’s never done before. She has been a very clingy baby that likes to be held a lot so this is progress!

Hi ladies, I was wondering if anyone else had a difficult birth that they are still struggling to process? My baby girl was born 5 weeks ago, the birth was very difficult - I developed sepsis during the labour and ended up having an emergency c section under general anaesthetic after a failed spinal anaesthesia. I didn’t see my baby for a few hours after I woke up as she needed help with breathing. We are both recovered now, and I have a healthy baby, but basically I feel like I’ve been robbed of the experience of my baby being born, I didn’t get that initial skin to skin or see my partners face when he saw her for the first time. I replay the birth everyday and I feel
like I just can’t move on from it. I was just wondering if anyone is feeling the same? Sorry if this post is triggering to anyone.

@MrsMcH2022 sorry to hear it's been so hard on you. Glad you have both recovered now!

My first wasn't nearly as traumatic as that but it really took me until I had this baby to properly come to terms with the last one and finally put it all to rest and get rid of the anxiety that had followed me for the 21 months following.

I think you can speak to the hospital and get a birth debrief from the midwives which might help you break it all down and start to heal. Sorry I'm not much help but hopefully someone will be a long with better advise for you. Sending hugs 💕

@MrsMcH2022 I had a traumatic birth with my first baby and your post sounds very familiar to how I felt back then. I had a very difficult time processing it and it turns out I had ptsd. A traumatic birth can take a while to deal with mentally. I was able to have 12 sessions of CBT and I was lucky to be fast tracked in getting it as I had such a young baby. I also had a debrief with the hospital which helped as I had quite a lot of questions and blank bits I needed filled in that I’d blocked out / couldn’t remember and it really helped me process it all. 5 years on I feel sad about how it went, especially compared to the subsequent easy births I now have to compare to it but the feelings are nothing like they were back then. Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help from your GP or Health visitor ❤️

@MrsMcH2022 (this post is potentially triggering too) I also had an emergency c-section under general due to failed forceps delivery and an epidural that wasn't strong enough, and it was pretty traumatic. I actually found the forceps part more traumatic in terms of my memory as obviously I was out of it for the c-section but I also have a lot of sadness/trauma around my husband being asked to leave theatre and how scared I could tell he was. He has probably even more trauma than me. I also have a lot of feelings about the postnatal ward experience and my husband having to leave me on my own every night. But I also have a lot of sadness that I missed her actual birth. And I didn't really process this beforehand but a few days later I realised the thing I was most looking forward to through pregnancy was seeing my husband hold her for the first time and I am gutted that I missed seeing that. He was with her for an hour before I woke up and joined them. I am definitely going to talk to the hospital about a birth debrief. I feel that there were a lot of interventions that were unnecessary but at the time I was so tired I just went with a lot of it. It wasn't until after that I started to unpack it and feel worse about it. Take care of yourself and speak to someone xx

m.mother.ly/POYBlCB?fbclid=IwAR0c10PRRTRNh7dKuIEl3d0PcjCkRXDUTkIf-H0jKtXQXjF5GvVYAvlZ248

Thought this was lovely 💜

@JMill13 thank you for sharing; that was so lovely and so relatable!

Hello ladies! It's a new week, how are we all feeling? Successfully moved baby into his next to me crib and he slept like an angel Saturday night, woke for his feeds that's it.. last night was hell! I saw every hour, DP got up with him in the end at half 2 & slept in the front room with him in the Moses basket 🤯 I'll try again tonight 😂 I've got the health visitor today so will ask if she can check my stitches 🤞🏽does anyones bottle fed babies fall asleep feeding, then wake up 20 minutes later wanting the other half of the bottle? I feel like somethings wrong! He's recently gone up to 6oz cos he was draining 5oz and crying and rooting for more.. So I'm dying to know what he weighs.. his weight gain so far has been:
Born- 9.2
Day 5- 9.6
Day 11- 9.10
Day 18-10.7
This will be day 44, he was 10.7 on the 1st of June so hopefully he's not lost anything along the way!

@MissM94 hopefully you get a more successful night tonight!

My baby keeps doing that. She's on 4/5oz as of this week but keeps taking 2 or 3oz and then going mental half an hour later as if she's not been fed in hours but thankfully seems to be only during the day. I've still not heard from my HV to book in for the 6 week check, she's 7 weeks tomorrow and jabs are booked for next Thursday so thought I would've heard from her by now. Dying to know her weight too, she hasn't been weighed in what feels like forever, I had just been discharged from the midwife so it's been a while and she was back up at her birth weight then of 7lb11, so I'd imagine she's gone up a fair since then.

Hope everyone is keeping well and healing nicely.

Thanks so much @JMill13 @MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat @Sarah239 for your kind words and sharing your own experiences and advice - I’m sorry that you also experienced trauma related to birth. I’m going to ask my GP today at my 6-week checkup about arranging a birth debrief as that seems like a good first step for going forward.