Navigating pregnancy after loss thread 2

[Cruz86]

New thread as we all continue our journeys in pregnancy 🌈❤️

@sunnyd67 I took 5mg and I stopped at 12 weeks. X

@aesgriff I had a midwife appointment last week at 16 weeks. Asked her to have a listen, and she couldn't find it. Could hear placenta, cord, just not baby so she reckoned anterior placenta.
I'd say very normal not to be able to hear it! Am amazed by all the people picking up tiny heartbeats - career changes anyone?!

Thank you, glad it's not just me. I wasn't very active yesterday and slept a lot so maybe that caused it too. Hope it goes back high again x

It's a good idea to be able to rent isn't it @aesgriff! Aww yeah that sounds like it could be! It takes longer with first baby to feel anything, I don't think I felt proper kicks until about 18-20 weeks. I think I've felt a few sporadic flutters, yeah! Xx

@aesgriff sorry to hear it’s stressing you out. That’s the problem with Dopplers sometimes in early pregnancy.
I am a midwife so I do this day in day out and still sometimes I can’t find it. Babies move and hide etc. So I try for a few min if not I just say to myself it’s fine and I will try later. Usually after 30min or so I try again and I find it. But as I said, I am very used to using a Doppler and know all the tricks. So completely, completely normal. At this stage is in the middle and way day, where your pubic bone approx. You may have to angle it too, usually towards your bits!
it gives me reassurance so it works for me however if it’s giving you more stress than peace of mind then not worth it I would say.

Also would like to mention I use a hospital grade one, I’m sure the ones you get off Amazon/Ebay aren’t as sensitive either.

xx

@barneymcgroo thats interesting! I think I’ve been totally put off dopplers for life now xx

@Cruz86 oooh exciting!! I’m looking forward to starting to feel them. Is it just me or does time just feel like it’s going sooooo slowly xx

@Arwen7 You sound like the Doppler queen! Totally appreciate how intricate it is - like an art! I heard lots of almost ‘wind tunnel’ noises then found the heartbeat for a few seconds. It sounded like baby was moving around hence the windy noises. They would stop and start. Any clue what they may be?! Xx

After the 12 week scan, yes time is going sooo slowly @aesgriff 😩 Another 3 weeks to wait until we see baby again. When do you have your next scan? I'm pretty sure the windy noises are your placenta and blood flowing to and from baby? I may be completely wrong though! Xx

@aesgriff ha just my job!
At work we don’t listen in until the 16w appointment precisely because before that it’s not a guarantee we will find it and can cause unnecessary stress.
The Doppler may pick up many sounds. Your heartbeat (between 60-100bpm), baby’s (120-180bpm, the earlier the faster it will be), the placental flow (swish, pulsating sound) and may also pick up abdominal/intestinal wind which sounds just like wind moving. Baby moving usually sounds like a kick sound if you know what I mean. If you found baby’s heartbeat for a few seconds that’s great! Easier said than done but try not to worry I’m sure it’s all good. When is your next scan? X

@sunnyd67 I’m also not clear on when to stop it, the consultant just told me that as it’s a supplement its personal preference on when to stop taking it. I’m just going to keep going until my supplies run out I think xxx

@Cruz86 we’ve got our gender scan next weekend! Really excited but have had lots of comments from other people with judgement about finding out?! So strange.. so we’re going to keep it to ourselves! Xx

@Skl2021 have you had your gender rescan yet? Xx

@Arwen7 just hearing baby for a few seconds has reassured me so I’m happy to pack it away now and send it back. It’s likely wind then rather than baby swishing around but I’ll still pretend it was baby having a swim 🤣 We’ve got our gender scan next weekend so that’ll be lovely 😍 when’s your next scan? Xx

@speake @sunnyd67 I’m on 5mg and was told to stop at 12 weeks but am going to take it until my supplies run out too which is likely this week. I’m 15 weeks xx

@aesgriff not long now 🤞 why are people being judgy 🤦 got nothing to do with them what u do 🙄 nope mine is on Friday. I'm so scared and anxious again. Don't feel pregnant and have been having weird pains across tummy and haven't felt anything in days now. 😣 Xx

Ah what! That's really unfair @aesgriff. Is it people wondering why you're finding out and not keeping it a surprise? It's up to you what you do! People have to get involved in everything don't they. Have you bought any baby bits yet? Xx

@Skl2021 honestly 🙄 I’ve just said well then that’s fine we won’t tell you. We’re not doing a reveal just between us two anyway! Ooh I feel you with the anxiety. It’s just so tough I rented a Doppler and it did not go well. Are the pains feeling like stretching pains? Xx

@Cruz86 exactly! It’s our baby and we wanna know end of. Feel like I constantly have to justify why we are wanting to find out! Nope haven’t bought anything yet, have you? Still feel like I could be jinxing it.. irrational I know but that’s where I am with it. Plus it’s also unreal the amount of baby things are out there online! Is there anything you’d recommend? Xx

@aesgriff I am exactly the same, worried about every new person I tell incase it "jynxes" it or not wanting to buy anything. Sad how previous loss can remove some of the joy :(

We are finding out the sex but not telling anyone :)

Eurgh, that is so frustrating @aesgriff! It'll be nice to have it as a little secret between you and your oh if need be though ☺️
Oh god, don't. There's so much online and it's overwhelming! In all honesty, I really wouldn't go overboard with what you buy. The essentials for me this time after having my first are: somewhere to put baby in the day like a moses basket or dockatot (if you're lucky to be able to put them down!), a nice structured fabric sling for the days where baby doesn't want to be put down but you've got stuff to do, a decent changing bag I.e. either backpack style or one you can clip onto your pushchair....erm.... I'm still going to buy a sidecot even though I ended up cosleeping with my son because he fed constantly!! Maybe a little baby bath for you to use in the lounge if you're too tired to go to the bathroom one night. And a nice comfy play gym to lay them down on. Apart from that, I never used a changing table, always just used mats on the sofa/floor/bed and I breastfed so didn't need to worry about bottles etc. I really don't think babies need much. If you're going to get a bouncer, the cheapest ones are, in my experience, taken to a lot better. My son didn't really like the vibrating/moving one that we had 😂 But every baby is so different and sometimes it really is just trial and error! xx

Oh and I also haven't bought a single thing yet either! Xx

@aesgriff can't believe people have been like that with you?! It's entirely up to you and your partner. We found out with both our last 2..if I get far enough with this pregnancy then as it's our last we've said we won't find out 😬 but they'll have to muzzle me at the 20 week scan as each time I've said I won't find out but I cave 🙈😆..@Cruz86 some great advice re baby buys there. I second a baby carrier/sling as mine wouldn't be put down and also just used a mat on the floor for changing.
@Skl2021 hope u are ok lovely? I remember with my first 2 when I first started feeling movements I would go a week or 2 easy, at first, before movements became regular. I'm approaching 9 weeks which is when I lost my last baby so totally get u with the anxiety xx

@calimc83 I just feel so.silly saying I'm anxious everytime I have a scan even though everytime it's all been ok. My head just takes over and I can't help thinking the worst. Then feeling the odd movement and nothing for days is like torture 😩 just keep trying to remind myself it's normal and it's still early but it's easier said than done. It is particularly hard when we get to the point when we lost last time. I was thinking of having a scan around the same time but somehow I managed through until my 12 week one. Just take it a day at a time and stay positive 💞 that's all we can do ✨ x

@Annny27 it’s so hard how precious losses take away that joy and excitement from current pregnancies! It just feels tainted xx

@Cruz86 omg that’s amazing thank you!! I’m also struggling to think where in the house everything will go 😳 I’ve looked at the mamaroo rocker chair thing. Is that one to stay clear of? Xx

@calimc83 I know!! It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I wouldn’t dream of passing comment. This is the reason why I won’t be sharing any baby names either! Sorry that you’re feeling anxious, there’s no words ti make you feel better but just know we’re here Xx

Can I ask at what point everyone registered their pregnancy and got their appointments etc booked? I did it pretty early last time but now it feels like jynxing it.

@Sassy144 I registered with my midwife when I was 8.5 weeks. But only because I was worried. So I was late for my booking appointment and 10 week blood test was taken at 12 weeks. Scan was on time though.

I didn't put my first in a sling anywhere near as much as I should've done @calimc83, although I think that was so I could excuse the fact I did sweet f all in between feeding and getting baby to nap 😂

I know @aesgriff and trust me, it gets worse as they get older 😬😆 You don't necessarily have to stay clear of it but just don't be resentful if you've spent a lot of money on something and it doesn't get much use haha.
Ooh baby names, everyone loves to chirp up with their opinions don't they!! Have you thought of any yet?

I don't think I registered until around 6+5 with this pregnancy @Sassy144 because I had to cancel my last one and didn't want to do it too early again. It was after I saw a heartbeat which was further than I'd got before!

Xx

@aesgriff some people are just rude. They shouldn't even open there mouths if they have nothing nice to say! I was thinking of a Doppler but I'm getting closer now to hopefully some movement so I'm trying to hold out. Don't want something else to stress over 😬 I normally get stretching pains low down but these have been sharp like stabbing all across tummy which make me worry. Just need to keep telling myself everything is ok 🤞 always something to worry about isn't there! Xx

@Skl2021 @aesgriff yep trying to do just that...I'm not constantly anxious. It just seems to creep up on me. I was debating whether to ask my midwife at my booking appointment this week whether she can check my HCG levels and see if all is ok? I keep thinking about a Doppler as well but not sure yet if it's the best idea for me..would panic if I couldn't find it straight away!
@Cruz86 😆🙈 I don't think I did much between naps and feeds tbh. I remember panicking once that watching too much Jeremy Kyle would be bad for a 4 week old baby! 😆😆 x