Due June 2022 - thread 10! Rolling into third trimester!

[imhereforthecake]

Thread 10!
Please tag anyone who may be missed!
Nearly there everyone.

rathernotshare
@earlgreywithlemon
@matilda30
@olive60
@growbabygrow
@sunflower198
@rolledthedice
@czycoup
@mrsnt
@curryandsnuggle
@beansprout55
@prema12
@unknownscot
@pregnancydiaries
@northofthebordermum
@clueless22
@imhereforthecake
@pleasesendnoodles
@hellointhere
@pregnancydiaries
@invisibledragon
@destiEos
@flowerbug1994
@fpeg
@rathernotshare
@jennixxx
@rosevalleyrambles
@peony12
@PeeAche
@Turniptracker
@ALHCTPS
@MrsTwentyNine
@ChildOfFriday
@InvisibleDragon
@Vimto1991
@fpeg
@Starbeach
@Lostintranslatio
@JAR1981
@BunBun221
@nikita22
@mrkb

@peeache2 just read your post from previous page and shocked at your employers behaviour. They are putting you under so much stress. Use that in your legal. Get ur gp to write a letter saying ur getting stress from work and its affecting you

@fpeg - I'm totally up for the holiday and beautiful sandy warm seas!
Reeeally want to book IRL for September/October holiday in the sun, but as I've felt rubbish most of the way through the pregnancy and am now also having doubts about coping post-birth(I think a lot of us are experiencing some last-minute cold feet!) - I can't bring myself to be that brave!

@PeeAche2 that is such shite! I hope you're a member of a union, I wasn't when I had work issues and have since joined one - they don't cover you for issues that started before you joined unfortunately. Failing that I called employment solicitors who were absolutely amazing - didn't pay them a penny either for a lot of advice - they are London based, so not sure if that's useful: www.monacosolicitors.co.uk/ Definitely get someone to advocate for you, it's invaluable for your mental health and good luck. F*ckers.

I've missed loads, someone did ask about GD here or on the fb group, I don't remember and I can't find, but I'm 3 weeks in now and have managed to figure out what I need to be doing - so do shout if you wanted any advice!

@PeeAche2, I am so sorry to hear about your trouble at work. If they truly felt that way about your performance, there should have been earlier feedback surely? I understand you are not looking forward to a legal fight, but I almost feel it might be better than just letting it embitter you now for the next couple of months. At least, if you are in the procedure, you are doing something and can perhaps 'outsource' your anger to the moments you are actively busy with the procedure, instead of having it fester all day long. But perhaps that is just the way my brain works.

@Brightsmoke, thanks for the forewarning. As a FTM, I have all these angelic images in my head of me hanging out with baby, reading a book, while baby peacefully suckles away, looking at me adoringly. I really needed that wake-up call that BF might be a pain. My mum said to me last time that I 'latched on like a shark'. Hopefully, it is not hereditary.

@mrkb, thanks for your response. You and the others have completely convinced me, and I will book that JL appointment.

Thanks for all the messages of solidarity and support, sisters. It means a lot.

And to whomever recommended Pregnant Then Screwed, thank you. I have called them this morning and they have given me loads and loads of help and advice. I feel a lot more empowered now. 👊

Is anyone else here taking daily aspirin and (when you cut yourself / get an injections etc) have you noticed now that you bleed LOADS. My midwife was dismissive, obviously, but I have a hunch something isn't right and I'm a bit worried about blood loss during labour.

P.S I can't join in on FB because I don't have an account, (except for PR stuff for my writing.) I hope you all still stick around here too though.

@PeeAche2

Wow I’m really surprised that your work place is going on like that. How horrible and stressful for you. I’m happy you’ve been in contact with pregnant then screwed. I’d just try and brush the stress off, keep collecting evidence and then enjoy a really nice holiday after it’s all over and you’ve got a payout.

Regarding deforestation - I have eczema and have no choice but to shave. My hair irritates my skin in the area, although it’s never normally freshly shaven and I wouldn’t dream about worrying about that during labour. Had a bad labour last time so this is the least of my worries.

Anyone else have a pretty bad first labour? The suction cup and forceps were used and I ended up with a 3a tear. I’ve been given the option of c section but after birth last time, my tummy went back to normal so I don’t see the point in giving myself an unnecessary scar.

The midwife didn’t reassure me I wouldn’t tear this time, in fact she did the opposite and told me my scar won’t stretch so to expect one yet when I looked online they say there’s only a 4% chance of having such a bad tear again

@PeeAche2 am thinking this to about the aspirin and at the minute he’s breech and looking like a c section if he doesn’t turn ive been taking 150mg a day since January and am abit worried am speaking with consultant during phone app next week I’ll see what they say about it as they prescribed it.

@t0nim92 sorry to hear about your tear last labour, sounds horrible for you. I swear all these different midwives are giving us all differing advice!

I had quite a traumatic first birth with major PPH and my son had to be resuscitated as cord was strangling him. I’ve actually just started CBT to deal with the trauma and anxieties for this upcoming birth. Ideally I would want a c section but it’s just the recovery that’s not practical. I’d struggle so much looking after a toddler and newborn as I know it’s major surgery. It’s so hard to know what’s best to do!

@annie1994 That sounds horrific and makes me feel so lucky just getting a tear. Did your son make a full recovery? Do you find the CBT is helping?

How old is your little one? That’s another reason why I don’t want a c section. I will have a 7 year old that will have another month in school before summer holidays start. If I remember correct, last time after birth I stayed home for quite a while (3 months I think). We’re in a flat on the top floor with no lift, so it was getting up and down the stairs without ripping my stitches and even getting myself into the mindset of getting dressed and out that was so hard. I’m really dreading all of it. I’m so anxious for labour, just keep thinking to myself ‘it’s months away’, ‘I have this and that to look forward to first’ to try and keep my mind off it

@PeeAche2 also on 2x75mg aspirin a day, and yes I do bleed more, but doctor told me months ago that I can stop taking them at 36 weeks - I'm assuming for labour. I haven't been told again, but am going to check with midwife to confirm.

@PeeAche2 @Flowerbug1994 I'm on aspirin too, I asked the consultant about it and she said to stop at 36 weeks (I vaguely remember being told this at the start too when first told I needed to take it) so just double check with your midwives but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to stop it x.

@t0nim92 on another mum's group I'm on there we're lots of positive birth stories when someone asked about vaginal birth following a 3b tear (in their case). Lots who had had either 3a or 3b replied to say either had more minor tear or didn't tear on 2nd birth. There was one lady who had a 2nd 3a tear but she was definitely the only one in about 30-40 replies.

@peeache2 Your employers are utter sods and I hope you get to put the fear into them with appropriate legalese. Check if you have legal cover on your home insurance - if so they may help deal with it.

I am doing home blood pressure testing this week to try and work out why I'm feeling so shaky in the mornings. Looking like it's not iron levels at all, but low blood pressure after breakfast. So nice to finally get answers, but would have loved them 2 months ago! At least it might mean a more useful final few months.

@RoseValleyRambles oh this interesting. First thing in the mornings I feel faint and blamed my work chair 😂 so I sit on my bed for work.

@vimto1991 I'm finding leaving breakfast a little later (avoids blood diverting to stomach) and then eating small and frequent for the morning Vs my usual big bowl of cereal and coffee seems to be helping. Early days, but so nice to have found something that seems to make a difference.

Slightly perturbed it took so long for any of the various midwifes and doctors to get to what seems like a reasonably simple problem.

@RoseValleyRambles I’ll give that a go! I take my thyroid meds around 7:30 and eat about an hour later but I probably need to 1) eat healthier and 2) have little bits. I just have toast normally 😂

Glad you are sorted, does seem strange to only get answers now when we’re so close to the end! Hope you will feel better going forwards!

@PeeAche2 don't have any advice but FURIOUS on your behalf. My sister is also pregnant and has had a bunch of unnecessary horrid behaviour from her employers too (a school) what on earth gets into peoples' heads honestly?

@t0nim92 yes, 3b tear and episiotomy here, as well as PPH. Then infected stitches. My bladder also stopped working for some reason after the birth. No one could tell me for sure why, but the physio thought bruising and some nerve damage was the cause. I went home with a leg bag catheter and had to be readmitted after it - and several replacements - kept leaking, and I failed my urine test for a second time. It got better after a few weeks and now it’s OK, other than some occasional low level leaking.

But, I swore to myself at 3am a week post birth, standing in a pool of my own pee (sorry TMI) and on the phone to the hospital in tears, that the next baby would be an ELCS. So that’s what I’m having. My husband is taking a month off to help at the beginning, and we’ll make it work. It took me months to even be able to sit down without a gutter cushion the first time, so it wasn’t exactly an easy recovery either. Fingers crossed!

@PeeAche2 not taking aspirin, but had a d dimer injection and blood test over a week ago and I still have a bruise from both, which is quite unusual.

It appears I have been led a merry dance my entire life re: this child birth malarkey.

And, I'm sure I'm not alone in this... I was told that after the event, my body releases lots of mystical hormones that magically help my tiny woman brain to totally forget ALL about the excruciating agony of labour, contractions, pushing, crowning, tearing and bleeding. So that I will do it again without a second thought.

Now here you lot are, putting paid to that theory.

I'm getting scared.

@PeeAche2 ha! In all fairness, I actually don’t remember exactly what labour pain felt like. But this was a memorable low point: before leaking on the floor, this catheter (the third I’d had put in!) leaked all over my husband in bed. All credit to him, he didn’t look phased .

Joking aside, I gather this is pretty rare. Consultants from both obstetrics and urology didn’t understand what was going on - which made it scarier at the time, but I don’t think they’d actually seen anyone with this issue before.

@4thtimethecharm it will be after the first few weeks at worst, but you might be lucky and have an easy time from the start. I know a lot of people give up as they didn't realise how much it would hurt/how hard it was. I was totally oblivious 🙈

I had a pretty bad 1st labour @t0nim92. I got an episiotomy in theatre rather than a tear, but 2 sets of forceps and a 50 hour labour, my son whisked away immediately and left with a scar on his head 😬. But I'm going to try perineum massage to try and help with my scar/so I hopefully don't tear.

Sorry to hear about your labour @annie1994. I'm speaking to my midwife about getting some help regarding my feelings towards labour because of my first born. I've been putting it off from the beginning but now I think I really need to 🙈

Don't be scared @PeeAche2. As @EarlGreywithLemon says, I don't remember the pain either. People only ever tell you horror stories, the majority of births are fairly plain sailing 😊

I had episiotomy too after son was “stuck “. Whisked through to another room and cut then he was delivered with the little suction cup. I swore then and there with OH “NEVER AGAIN”. I do remember saying to the midwives at the time that it wasn’t sore the pushing. I think I was so numb and sore that I couldn’t feel anything (plus out my face on morphine ) but the contractions themselves were pretty painful.

I’m just scared of when it all starts off and how do you know when to go in etc. I went in the first time in agony and was 1cm dilated lol 1cm! How embarrassing.

I highly recommend buying “my expert midwife - spritz for bits” best thing I have ever bought. I used the peri massage oil and found it very painful to do. Needed cut anyway so seemed a waste of time and money.

I remember the midwife also telling me that because I was cut on the first birth it shouldn’t happen again but it did with my friend. Her 2nd baby was nearly 11pms to be fair.

@t0nim92 he’s 19mo and will be just 22mo when baby is due at end of June. Exactly! I do think when you’ve got older kids you need to consider the recovery of a c-section a bit more. But I guess it depends on the help you can get from partners/ family/ friends.

I have only had a couple sessions of CBT and it seems good so far but I’m still petrified of labour 😂 I went through my perinatal mental health team to get help.

Omg the morphine ❤️ I forgot about the morphine @Letsbekindplease. Amazing!

I keep umming and ahhing about the spritz for bits, I don't think it existed with my son, so I'm glad you've recommended it. Also gutted the peri massage didn't work 🙈

I completely fell of the thread over the past few days as I was travelling for work. 🙈 So exhausting when you are pregnant.

@PleaseSendNoodles Such lovely scan pictures. Makes everything so much more real. Glad that there is hope that your husband may be home for the birth. 🤞🏻
@pregnancydiaries What a cute face.
@Vimto1991 I hope you are feeling a bit better and your stress at work is easing off.
@PeeAche2 So sorry to hear about your work situation.
@Littlemilomoo I hope your husband will have a speedy recovery after the operation.
@Brightsmoke Thanks for setting up a fb group 🥰. I just joined as well.

I also don't have a maternity cover yet, not sure what their plan is and I'm supposed to start another project now. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Is anyone else is having what looks like stretch marks, but then they disappear again a few days later? Very strange.
If anyone needs a sling, freerider has a really good sale at the moment. Xx