Minsters Side Car - Thread 7 - annoying neighbours, second hand bargains and how many sleep suits should we buy again?!

[larrythelizard]

Babies due in 2022

@Lexber 20 April 💜💙
@DKDK123 12 May 💜
@bez91 14 May 💛
@Minster2012 22 May 💜 (C-section the week before)
@whatwonder 5 June 💛
@feliznavidad2 5 July 💜
@SWAttempting 23 July (will be delivered in June). 💜
@paintfairy 24 July 💜
@Vil10 1 August 💛
@Juno231 11 August 💜
@kaylsd 15 August 💛
@larrythelizard 18 August 💛

@Kirky658 11 August 2021 💜
@Kate105 14 October 2021 💙
@Justanothercyster 10 November 2021 💜
@2020Mission 27 December 2021 💙
@blackcurrantqueen 17 January 2022 💜
@Crazydoglady123 29 January 💜
@Haiyaa 1 February 💙
@becarefuloutthere 26 February 💜

@Lexber is DH coming to the hospital to watch the babies for a bit to give you a few hours sleep? You're body will still be exhausted from pushing out two babies, now you've been feeding and keeping them alive on very little sleep, you still are wonderwoman (albeit a very tired one) 😊 I remember well the sleepy baby on you days and daring not to move even when bursting for the loo as you don't want to wake it......I'm now thinking I should have been practicing my pelvic floor exercising more in preparation now 😂

@Lexber I think you're bloody super human! Tandem feeding already and generally bossing it! Make sure you ask for help from the HCAs as well as OH. When are the babies going to get to meet their big sisters?

My mum has been here less than 24 hours and is doing my head in 😬😬😬 she just flaps about all the time and won't just let DS play, she has try and dictate what he does, like he's nicely playing with his cars on the coffee table and she wants to make him play them on the floor etc etc...leave the poor kid to it!

@larrythelizard I totally feel your pain!! I had to train my parents "if he's playing nicely then WE DO NOT DISTURB him, we enjoy it" 😂& of course for other reasons mine do my head in! Glad you had a good wedding, you looked gorgeous 💓

@Lexber god you are doing AMAZING I'm in total awe of you, and your sleepy typos "got Elsie on the Bob" 😂😆

Oh god the pelvic floor I keep forgetting too @DKDK123

My mind also boggled by those who don't make/want/let/care if the men don't, step up for parenting @Kate105 @larrythelizard some ppl are very weird & they don't actually WANT their DH/OH too, most just then complain. Which is pointless

In other news I was having quite a lot of BH yesterday. Turns out an orgasm stopped mine 😂we have been watching "the open house sex experiment" the past couple of Fridays & marvelling at these ppl, making bets on if they are gonna go through with it, stay together & just general 😳😳😳really!!

Yes @Minster2012 @larrythelizard I feel like there's a certain brand of mother (linked but not exclusive to the earth mother set) who seem to take masochistic pleasure in doing everything themselves without help and then telling everyone how busy and important they are 🤔 those are the ones on instagram doing BLW who will not allow precious Tarquin to eat anything processed or not vegan 😂🙈 and they probably use their own hair for a sling because natural fibres are best...

Anyway I've gone off on one there 😂😂😂 hope you get some rest today @Lexber they told me in hospital that night 2 was the worst for BF and baby fussing so hopefully you're over the worst. You are doing so well! Xxx

@Minster2012 my birth plan is to turn up at the hospital, have a baby, leave. 🤷‍♀️🤣 I mean, what else is there to know? 🤭 And yeah sterilisation is equivalent to vasectomy. It doesn't stop anything working, just the bits that matter are unable to meet! I'm not sure you'd want no periods. My mum had to have a hysterectomy years ago and it causes all manner of issues with your body, because you are meant to have the hormones. The mini pill stopped my periods though?
@DKDK123 oh god that's awful. It's made me anxious again reading that as I can't think of anything worse. Poor woman. I suppose you just don't expect it to happen past a point and by then it is an actual baby. I literally cannot imagine.
@Lexber 2 milk guzzling babies was never going to be easy i guess? I can imagine it's never ending! They look cute though? 🤣 And yes you will still be tired from labour etc and it's going to take a while to recover from that. But you'll get there.
@becarefuloutthere probably didn't wait long enough for it to take effect! Sounds about right. 🙈 Flipping heck.
@Kate105 🤣 Avoid said brands of mother.

I felt so tired yesterday. Woke up with a headache (like a sinus pressure one) too. Felt shit all day. Managed to half sort a bedroom before giving up. But I literally was struggling to drag myself round! Can't be doing with it. Feel a little better today thankfully. I'm fed up of not sleeping though- I must wake about 50 times a bloody night. 🤬 I do go back to sleep but you just don't feel rested when its interrupted? I also dreamt about drawers. 🤣 Today I've done the horses and walked the dog. Feel tired now but I've still got the bedroom to finish. Joy!

@paintfairy does your place use the badger app? At my last appointment I was told to go to the 'conversations' section on the app and do my birth plan there and they review it with people around 36 weeks. I had a nosey on it, the majority isn't relevant for a section but it's pretty straight forward it's some questions with a drop down menu and you just click your answers so it asks things like what kind of pain relief do you want to try, do you want to be moving about during labour, who do you want there, do you want partner to cut the cord, do you want skin to skin, do you want to breast feed etc. I'll screen shot an example from one of the questions but it's all pretty basic and straightforward. And I'm assuming the places that dotn use badger notes maybe have a similar paper copy they follow 🤷‍♀️

@Lexber you are absolutely Wonder Woman! Glad to hear that they’re doing well with feeding and sleeping at the moment. And I’m really, really pleased that you’re being well looked after in hospital. The twins are so gorgeous!

@Kate105 😂😂 imagine how itchy a hair sling would be?!

@Minster2012 orgasms to the rescue! Hope that you’re having a lovely, relaxation day.

@Juno231 enjoy the holiday, it is well deserved! Glad your cervix behaved itself so you can go away without worrying too much.

@DKDK123 I know it’s a really awful situation, I can’t even imagine, but your post really shows your compassion. I’m sure you’ll find the words to write. Hugs for you, it must be tough for you too.

@larrythelizard hope that your mum isn’t driving you too crazy! Loving the lack of hangover, as well. Definite perk!

@paintfairy that’s a fool proof birth plan… what more planning do they need?

All good here. Having a relaxed day of walking the dog and chilling. Going to my friend’s later for pizza and not wine while everyone else has wine… at least I can drive home. Having an Easter Day tomorrow with my family that I’m looking forward to. Feeling really nauseous this week, so the last few chilled days have definitely been appreciated.

@DKDK123 no, its just a book of notes. There's a page at the back for you to write your birth plan. 🙄 But you surely need to know what options are? I can maybe find something online but I naively expected someone to actually explain things to me.
@BellatrixK so many people seem to say things never went to plan anyway. So if I only plan to leave with a fit and healthy baby, I can't moan about the specifics, can I? 🤣

And my next door neighbours are arseholes. I mean, we know this. But they have a puppy (think i mentioned it before actually, screaming all day). The way they talk to it? I moaned to DH about it yesterday but he came in today and started ranting about the way the bloke was treating it. I was like- i told you. Poor thing. Utter wankers. 🤬

@larrythelizard I already had both mums saying wouldn’t it be nice if you moved back you could live at home, errrm, no thanks, I can about tolerate you both for two weeks, and that is with moving to the other mums when one gets on my nerves

A VERY relaxed Minster checking in here!! Spa day was BRILLIANT I didn't have back pain all day, amazing! Also was snoozing in the sunshine it's been over 20 degrees here today! That was my holiday 🥰

@Kate105 yes those ppl are def to be avoided. I can guarantee Tarquin's non PFB sibling will be licking the mud pies Tarquin makes them off the filthy floor in a few years & picking mummy hair out of their teeth after it's all fallen out ...I go more for the organic mud

@paintfairy I absolutely want no periods, I had no periods for 20 years on depo before TTC & it was bliss. Soon as I started TTC I was like "I can't believe women feel this shit EVERY month for years?!" I can't have any of the pills I'm afraid. & when you feel tired you need to chill, though I didn't til recently of course!! My maternity notes are the same. And I'm 35 weeks & no one has asked me for a birth plan but like @DKDK123 says maybe it's cos we are planned C sections? Your neighbours are arseholes def

@Franklydear what a horrendous lovely idea to live with your parents mid 40s. Not

@BellatrixK hope you've had a lovely relaxing time, and everyone else!

@Lexber fantastic mama! Tandem feeding and all already, they are the cutest
@Kate105 I do hate martyrdom, and even more so that dh is treated like a god cos he is ‘helping’ me despite working, I’ve been known to ask my fil if what I do is a hobby for 40 hours a week plus commute
@DKDK123 I am never good with words but I would just say that you heard and she can count on you for whatever she needs, but don’t hide too much, I was pregnant with my friend, and she lost her baby when we were 5 months along, she didn’t want to see me pregnant but wanted to see ds and hold him, she said it was therapeutic for her @paintfairy my birth plan was 1. go home with alive baby

1. water birth would be preferable, the hospital midwife told me that was no plan, all I wanted was to go home with my baby, both healthy🤷🏼‍♀️ It definitely did not go to plan, but took my healthy baby home so....

I remember asking a midwife at my 36 week appointment if I should have a birth plan in place as no other midwife had mentioned it at previous appointments and she said "no those aren't a thing now" 🙄 so I didn't have a chance to request anything or discuss plans with anyone. I hope it's better for you ladies! I suppose in hindsight the lack of it probably makes things less disappointing than if you don't have something in mind. The only thing I had in my head was I really want to avoid tears or a cut and ended up with a damn episiotomy in the end anyway 😆 I don't know if the perineum massage/stretch in the run up helped as the reason they cut me was to let me push him out quicker as his heart rate showing he was getting stressed. I still say no harm in trying the massage/stretching if you have been thinking about it.

@Lexber good on you feeding 2 on the breast it's hard enough with 1 😅

I'm just about surviving the mother's visit - DH in bed ill so in some ways it's useful having another pair of hands around.

There are some things to consider even if you don't want a formal birth plan, like vitamin k injection vs medicine, how you want to find out the sex (if you're team yellow), and if you want a gooey baby or a cleaned up one - sure there's more but there's a few off the top of my head.

@Minster2012 (also maybe @DKDK123 although may be different for you given risk of PPH etc) or anyone else on an ELCS for whatever reason it's worth reading up on 'gentle c-section' and delayed cord clamping and stuff, not all c-sections are created equal

So very tired today, could do with DH up and about tomorrow as his parents are also coming over! Good looking marinade on an excellent looking shoulder of lamb in the fridge though!

I've typed out the questions that were on the badger notes if it helps give you an idea on what you might want to include in your birth plan @paintfairy (or anyone else). Tho it was stressed that not all options are available in all hospitals and to think of the plan as more of a rough guide as babies haven't read the plan and tend to have their own agenda

I would prefer to give birth:at home/birth centre/labour ward
My environment for labour and birth:blank for own thoughts
During labour and birth I would consider: massage/walking standing/different upright positions/birthing ball/bean bags birth stools/pool/bed for rest/music/lights dimmed/photographs filming/
Induction of labour if I go past my due date: blank for own thoughts
Pain relief/coping strategies: avoid all apin relief/hypnobirthing/aromatherapy/pool/TENS/gas and air/paracetamol/codeine/morphine/pethidine/epidural
How I would like to give birth: blank for own thoughts
Monitoring my baby during labour:blank for own thoughts
I'm aware it's recommended to monitor my baby: I prefer intermittent fetal heart rate monitoring with a handheld device/continual monitoring with CTG machine/I'd like to be mobile with wireless monitoring/I don't wish to have monitoring
Who I'd like to be present during labour.
Who I'd like to be involved in discussion about care during labour and birth
If I'm having a planned section what would my preference be: blank for own answers
My thoughts for the birth of the placenta delayed cord clamping/natural delivery/active management
I'm aware I will give birth to the placenta:cord left in tact and I will push it out myself/cord cut within a few mins and given an injection of oxytocin and midwife will deliver it/I'd like my partner/ or midwife to cut the cord
I'm aware in some circumstances my midwife may offer interventions to assist with the labour: I am aware/ I do not want any intervention
I'm aware I may need a cut to the perineum to assist delivery: I give consent/ I do not consent
Post birth:
How I would like to feed baby: blank for own thoughts
My thoughts on skin to skin contact: I'd like immediate skin to skin/ I'd prefer to wait and see
I'm aware after baby's born they'll be offered vitamin K:I'd like by injection/by oral drops/I don't want baby to have it
My thoughts and prefernce on post natal care for myself and baby: blank for own thoughts

I'm thinking it might not be a thing round here either @2020mission, I shall ask on Tuesday, I'm sorry your wishes weren't taken into account

@larrythelizard I shall take a look thanks, we did delayed cord clamping with X so that was good

@DKDK123 that's a lot of questions! kinda too much choice for me. Healthy baby, healthy me, not really that fussed about much else maybe I'm heartless 🤷🏼‍♀️but I tend to think like @paintfairy it's less to "go wrong" that way

@larrythelizard jealous of your lamb but hope you feel better tomorrow & can get through

@minster2012 I suppose the silver lining on a section is you don't need to make as many choices as most of it is irrelevant 😂 I just said for mine I want to be awake (if safe to do so), I want DH to cut the cord and skin to skin as soon as poss if baby doesnt need to go to NICU, but willing to take the lead from the doctors for everything along the way on what's safest for me and baby.

I was going to get up before DS to hide his easter eggs in the garden. DS got up at 5.30 😴 had to creep about outside at 6am hiding bloody eggs while he was eating his breakfast ......the joys of parenthood 😂

Morning ladies catching up... happy Easter all 🐣

Sounds like you're doing great supermum @Lexber hope you got discharged yesterday and are settling ok at home

@DKDK123 that's really tough with your neighbour and I'd feel completely the same as you. I think as you said acknowledging that you know would be a good thing and maybe sending a thinking of you card explaining that. I am rubbish with words but I'm sure you can word more eloquently. NOT fun on the hiding Easter eggs at that time of morning though

@Minster2012 I also didn't have periods on one of the contraception's I was on for about 10 years and it was great, went back on the same post DD and periods came back 🤷‍♀️ I don't mind the periods but I definitely don't want to go back on hormonal birth control after looking back and realising how much of a detrimental affect it had on my MN that I never realised at the time so we're not sure what to do 🙈 glad the spa day was good!

Also don't get the DH thing @Kate105 @Minster2012 @larrythelizard I'd have never have decided to spend my life with DH if I thought he was going to be a shitty stand offish dad. I think you're right some just don't actually WANT their DH to 🤷‍♀️

@paintfairy the birth plan stuff is good I think but I know so many people who get their hopes up and baby will just come how they want won't they, they haven't asked me yet although I would quite like to get in the pool if things are ok but if they have to rip me open to make sure we're both ok that's fine too 🙈 I did quite like the tens machine last time although I think it was just a good distraction! Urgggh on the migraine and the shitty tradespeople, hope things are starting to look more like home now!

@larrythelizard glad you enjoyed the wedding, lovely photo on IG 🥰 a parent/PIL fun filled weekend for you 😭 hope your mum has become less irritating as the weekend has gone on.

Chilled day today, DD went for her first sleepover last night at my dads. 4.5 years in the making and probably the next time me and DH get another overnight together will be another 4.5 years away but it was nice and just mega chilled. I was a complete pregnant hormonal wreck yesterday, DD got asked to try out a different gymnastics class and go in with the bigger kids opposed to the preschool class. I'm not an emotional person at all but we were watching her and the next child closest in age to her was like 7 and she just looked so small and lost 😭 they were all so lovely with her too though and took her under their wing so she wants to go again with the "big girls" next week 😭

Happy Easter all! Promise to catch up properly this bank hol.

OH and I are off for 3 nights at a spa in the Cotswolds. Can't wait(!) grandparents are babysitting. Going to have lots of naps. 😴 😃

Hope you're all home safe and sound @Lexber x

Happy Easter everyone! 🐣🐥🐰
We've got lovely weather again, off to MIL's in a bit for the egg hunt & bbq. Just gotta have a sit down first after toddler/dog walk then staining outdoor furniture has left me in tears with sciatica again.

@feliznavidad2 that time away sounds amazing, enjoy it!

@bez91 that's the thing about the hormonal contraceptives isn't it, I think a lot of us have realised they weren't great. Might just have to suck it up & see, the issue I always had was totally irregular so no idea when AF coming & when I was younger I actually had super weird cycles which could often be 2 weeks then nothing then massive heavy AF so that's why I went on contraception in the first place to try regulate it. I'm pleased you enjoyed your night off, it's so weird seeing them grow up isn't it I'd have been the same

On that note I still have a tampon in my glove box I wonder if @Lexber stopped carrying the tampon around 😂

@DKDK123 you are a better mum than me! I just ordered DS to stay inside the other day when I did it 😂. Maybe I'll get asked about the birth plan this week when I see the consultants?

Did I mention I got a thing from the physio through to call & arrange an appointment? I was referred on 16th March, it's meant to be urgent when pregnant. And the first "appointment" with the physio is a phone call, first time slot Monday 25th April. So it's basically totally pointless if we think I'm likely having section mid may & that's not even a face to face appointment so would be into may for that. Useless. Thank god for the internet.

35 weeks here (will do a bump shot when I get up off the sofa) & my bump still pretty high I think so I don't think I'm in danger of imminent Labour!

@larrythelizard are you feeling better? And still surviving the visit??

Just popping on to say that surely the birth plan covers the after stuff too? So even if you don't think you can plan for a water birth you can still have preferences for delayed clamping, vitamin k shots, leaving the vernix on etc?

Reporting in from the US - I've done 55k steps this weekend so I'm knackered and don't have the energy to properly catch up on here :/ heading to the Olympic national park tomorrow so I don't see my feet recovering any time soon!

@Minster2012 haha damn I'm gonna need those again soon...

So update from me - still in hospital!

So it looks like at delivery Elsie had a placental abruption, there was a small bleed but it wasn't obvious if it was me or her.
Anywho skip forward and she is anaemic, so they need to know the cause of this. They've ruled out lots of things after various tests and Altho what I remember matches up to what she has been like and her anaemia it wasn't written in her notes anywhere so they can't go on the words and need to rule everything out. She isn't showing any signs of anything worrying, has been on 2 holy obs for days and had various checks and passed with flying colours.
They want to do a head scan tomorrow to rule out any bleeds on the brain, and hopefully that comes back clear and she is good to go home...
Theo was good to be discharged but on his day 3 weigh in he had lost 11% body weight and Elsie had only lost 7%. They like it to be below 10% so he is now on a feeding plan.
Elsie has been on a feeding plan since the beginning with premature milk.

I am currently sat on a 2 bed ward with a woman next to me who has been in early labour since she arrived yesterday lunch and is a little noisy with it shall we say - she's just being examined and I'm hoping for her she's ready to go to delivery! So I can sleep 🤣🤣🤣 I'm behind my curtain double pumping like Daisy the cow 🤣🤣

Fingers crossed for all good news tomorrow and hopefully we get discharged as the girls are so desperate to meet their baby brother and sister!

Bless you @Lexber we had a long old time in hospital wjth DS with very similar to Elsie. He was anaemic v quickly and they didn't know why, but the brain scan was performed in SCBU with an ultrasound machine and they were able to tell us the results straight away so fingers crossed will be the same for you. You're doing amazingly!

Wow @Juno231 you're like super woman doing all of those steps. Hope you're enjoying your trip.

@Minster2012 @bez91 I'm hoping OH will have a vasectomy after this babe as the hormones from the pill really don't help my mental health (or my libido!)

@bez91 hope you had a lovely restful time and your DD has a great time with GP too. It's important to get some time for you guys now baby is due so soon.

How are you doing @DKDK123 & @larrythelizard ?

I'm having a really lovely time away with OH, hope DS is being good for his Nanny & Grandad.

Have been struggling with anxiety this week, I've got a long history of OCD (since I was a teenager), usually it's well controlled but it's really ramped up in the past week, like, worrying about things I've eaten and whether they've been prepared properly
/safely, or whether some sheep in the field far away could somehow give me toxoplasmosis, know it sounds nutty. I told my midwife at 28 week appointment and she was lovely, has referred me to perinatal mental health team and suggested I ask GP if I can increase my usual anxiety medication.

She said some women struggle in the third trimester with anxiety anyway, or it could be that my medication isn't working as well as 'there's more of me for it go around now' which does sort of make sense.

Have a lovely Easter Monday all, hope you all manage to get some sort of rest in.