Minsters Side Car - Thread 7 - annoying neighbours, second hand bargains and how many sleep suits should we buy again?!

[larrythelizard]

Babies due in 2022

@Lexber 20 April 💜💙
@DKDK123 12 May 💜
@bez91 14 May 💛
@Minster2012 22 May 💜 (C-section the week before)
@whatwonder 5 June 💛
@feliznavidad2 5 July 💜
@SWAttempting 23 July (will be delivered in June). 💜
@paintfairy 24 July 💜
@Vil10 1 August 💛
@Juno231 11 August 💜
@kaylsd 15 August 💛
@larrythelizard 18 August 💛

@Kirky658 11 August 2021 💜
@Kate105 14 October 2021 💙
@Justanothercyster 10 November 2021 💜
@2020Mission 27 December 2021 💙
@blackcurrantqueen 17 January 2022 💜
@Crazydoglady123 29 January 💜
@Haiyaa 1 February 💙
@becarefuloutthere 26 February 💜

@Lexber You must be the first person since Mary to give birth 'virginilly' 😂
Ahhh they are so so gorgeous 😍 well done mama, congratulations to you all! Hope you are recovering ok!

@2020mission veg scales in the supermarket sounds reasonable!

Hahaha @bez91 I'm blaming the lack of sleep I think I actually slept 4.30-6.30am with a catheter and a couple drips half naked on a labour bed 🤣🤣 while the midwives made oh a bed on a mattress on the floor as we were looking at each other cross eyed 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Elsie was still at Neonatal and Theo was asleep after his feed.

Honestly cannot recommend this hospital and birth centre enough, every single person here on the antenatal, PAC, birth centre and trinity ward has been so wonderful, helpful and supportive.
I've had all the staff popping by to say hello and peek at the twins 💖💙 looks like I am here until Saturday atleast for monitoring fir the twins and check ups as classed as premature.

Oh yes "virginally!" Brilliant @Lexber 😂😂😂

@Vil10 it was also the 3rd midwife I've seen going there, and I've only been 3 times. 🤣 And mine measured me as from today? 🤦‍♀️🤣
Oh I also forgot to say that she asked what my birth plan was. I was like, erm? And she said there's space in the back to write it out. Well that's all well and good but how the hell do I know? 🤔 What are the options? It really annoys me that you are just supposed to know things.
@Minster2012 God knows. He said they usually notify him. But since its now Bank hol I'm guessing it'll not be until next week!?
@becarefuloutthere God, sounds barbaric. Do they not numb it?
@2020mission I would have likely wrapped it round their neck at that point. 🤣
@BellatrixK literally everyone is useless is what I've decided. 🙄
@bez91 I have to admit I did snigger at virginally. 🤭
@Lexber omg they are gorgeous! 🥰 Saturday isn't too bad? Fingers crossed it won't be longer than that. I think I want to come to your hospital! At least they sound pretty good.

Actually though I've found out that our hospital have at least extended their visiting hours for partners, and it's not just 2 hours any more. Thank god.

@Minster2012

Oh yes "virginally!" Brilliant *@Lexber* 😂😂😂

I'm staying that way now as my fanny looks like a battered lasagne 🤣🤣🤣

OH is def going for snip... no more babies for me! I even signed the forms yesterday tea time so if I needed an emergency section they would sterilise me at same time. As I'd previously discussed it and it was before labour established so deemed of sound mind they allowed me to opt into it (4 kids and 35 tucked the boxes)

Oh @lexber they are just adorable 😍😍😍 and for being twins and premature they are good weights and look like they're doing amazing (even if little missy did cause a bit of a drama at the birth, but that's girls for you 😉). So pleased that all had went well and all 3 of you are recovering nicely. Rest up while you're in the hospital and make the most of having the nurses on hand to help before you're discharged hopefully on Saturday.

Not caught up properly, only here for @Lexber's news and YAY! Congratulations you superhero woman!!!!!! Welcome to the world little Theo and Elsie 💕💕💕💕💕

@Lexber battered lasagna 😂 I did read virginally to OH and told him you'd given birth to Christ 🤭. But CONGRATULATIONS!! You sound like bloody wonder woman! And Theo and Elsie look perfect!

@whatwonder I'm still pissed about your antenatal class asking the men to leave.... The swaddle stuff sounds like bs too 😅

@paintfairy Christ alive how many brain cells does this joiner have?? I'd be fuming and it makes you wonder how delayed it's going to be now that the drawers have gone missing...

This week has been soooo tiring. Honestly the past two months have been - I feel like work stress has kept me from sleeping through the night for weeks and weeks now. Anyway - it's finally holiday time and I'm at the airport waiting for my 6.30 flight (taxi picked us up at 3am). Can't wait to sleep the whole way to Seattle!

Yesterday I had another cervix scan (it had been a whopping whole week since the last one), followed by antenatal clinic and the an obstetrics appointment. Cause I have nothing better to do than to attend medical appointments all day! Got discharged from obstetrics led care though as they're comfortable my LLETZ, endometriosis and recurrent UTI past haven't increased the risk of complications. Cervix scan showed I was at 34mm - same as I've been for the past 6-7 weeks. I still got a bollocking for going on holiday though 😂

@paintfairy oh god the drawers I'd be fuming 😤 btw I don't actually have a birth plan so I wouldn't worry

@Lexber how the hell do you know what you look like down there atm??? Already?? I can't see my faff!! I'd get sterilised too if it meant stopping my periods, we've agreed DH for the snip but I really don't want periods for another 20 years 😬

@Juno231 HOLIDAYYYYYYYYYY ✈️🗽and it's really good you've been discharged from consultant care too! I think you'll prob just feel tired the entire thing, I certainly do & my job isn't stressful 😂

@Lexber congratulations to you all lovey lady and welcome to the world Theo and Elsie what beautiful names and beautiful babies! Hoping for you to have a quick recovery❤️

Firstly all is fine with my baby

WARNING, sad post - baby loss

Remember I was saying about my next door neighbours baby the other day that I wasn't sure if she was in long term NICU or not, I found out late last night through a friend that my neighbour actually had a still birth at 35 weeks 😭 My heart is actually broken for her I sobbed all night long every time I thought about it and didnt sleep a wink. Im only a few days away from 35weeks and cant even begin to imagine how devastating it must feel to lose her now, I cant imagine the grief shes going through. And now I'm feeling so conflicted as obviously I really can't wait to have mine but at the same time part of me feels so guilty and bad for her. Living right next door your house is supposed to be your safe place but she's going to hear my baby cry through the walls, she's going to see me out pushing the pram, the baby out in the garden, the washing outside there is just going to be a constant reminder of what she's lost right there in her face every single day, how do you even get over that!? And to make matters worse hers was a little girl too and given how close they'll have been in age even just watching mine grow up throughout the years will be a constant reminder for her of what stage her wee girl should be at it will be a lifelong torture (if it was me in that position I think I'd have to move house I couldn't cope with it, but her family live in the street so I don't think she will).
Obviously I can't hide my baby away but given how raw it will still be for her I definitely am going to try to be as discrete as possible for the first wee while, maybe stick to hanging the baby clothes inside and walking the opposite way down the street with the pram so I'm not passing her window but I don't really know what else I can do to make it as easy as possible for her any other ideas?

@juno231 have an amazing time away, enjoy every minute of it!

@minster2012 unfortunately when you get your tubes tied you still get periods. It was one of the benefits that I thought I'd have given I've got to get sterilised this time but apparently not, it just stops the egg from passing down and meeting any sperm but you still get periods how unfair is that 🙄 DH is also getting the snip too tho as apparently having your tubes tied has something like a 1 in 200 chance of failing, as something thats sold as being supposedly quite final I'm not liking those odds! And if you do fall pregnant there's a high chance of it being ectopic so yea we're definitely both getting done just to make sure given the consultant said its too risky for me to fall pregnant again! But alas still the hassle of periods which I'm definitely not looking forward to having again.

@Lexber I was hoping for a little pic of those lovely babies
@Juno231 @Minster2012 it’ll be the snip here too, eventually, at some point, soon, promise, I’ve done my bit over the last 25 years, now is on him, I might not have thought that one through though

CONGRATS @Lexber!!! They are absolutely gorgeous, and what lovely names!! Elsie was my grandmother's name and I absolutely adore it, so beautiful. Can't believe they're here! Well done you for birthing them "virginally" I hope you're able to have a proper rest in the hospital before bringing them home! (and that your dad has something delicious waiting for you when you arrive!)

Oh @DKDK123 that's terrible and yes it's awful with you being at the same kinda time. I spoke to a couple of the ladies about our experience this week & why DH is very anxious about this stage all of a sudden & the extra monitoring etc because about 5/6 years ago his number 2 in the company's wife went into Labour at 38 weeks, we got the phone call to say she had so not to expect him in. That night there was another phone call from his dad to DH (his dad also worked for us for 15 years til retirement last year) & he said the baby was still born. It's so awful & my DH found it very difficult when they both returned to work after paternity/bereavement leave & still does. There was no reason for it. It was before anyone in our family had kids & so it's put a "well even as you get later it's not always ok" vibe for us, when coupled with the MC/MMC we've had it makes for an entire journey of worry for all. You can't hide away, and it will be so hard for them. I'd send flowers & a note but what to put I'm not sure.

On the snipping and tubes tying then what can we do to stop periods 🤔@Franklydear you can deal with that in the future

Right, mammoth catch up ahoy!

I know what you mean @Minster2012 and TBH it's very much like that with us now because I'm at home all the time, but I'm hoping that will resolve when I go back to work and we're splitting the childcare more or less 50/50... perhaps I'm being naive 😂🙈 but we will both have a day off a week with PTSD which I think is really important because I know that H would be more than happy for me to take the entire mental load, were he not forced to take some! Cannot wait for PTSD to dish out the mam vs dad shit, I bet he'll have some corkers ready when he can talk...!

Yes me too @whatwonder did not know pram sheets were a thing! But then also never bothered with the bassinet so maybe they go together?!

I love the names @Lexber congratulations again ❤️ and amazing that you pushed them both out, you are an absolute superwoman! They are so beautiful 😍 hope you enjoyed the oramorph, have to admit I had some in hospital and very much appreciated it!

Enjoy your holiday @Juno231 and I hope your cervix behaves whilst abroad 😂😂😂

Oh my god @DKDK123 that's so awful, hope you're ok! No advice really but I would say if you know her to speak to it might be worth just going and saying sorry about your loss. I'm very much of the opinion that it's best to confront hard situations head on so I would also say to her that you'll try and keep out of her way if that would help her. But if you don't really know her then it's maybe not appropriate!

Also did NOT know that you still get periods if you get sterilised! Bugger! I had thought I might get that done if I had a C section again... hmmm. But I've got plenty of time to rethink that! Not planning a second PTSD any time so, he is more than enough!
Speaking of PTSD, he was 6 months old yesterday! Where has that time gone?! Off to the farm today to cuddle some lambs and boost his immune system 😂😂😂

@Minster2012 I didn’t have periods for about 15 years on the pill, my libido went too, so I don’t recommend it

@minster2012 That must have been so tough for your DH too 😞. My neighbours actually the 2nd person this month alone Ive heard who's had a still birth, one of DHs friends wife also did, a bit like your DHs all was fine then the next day they got told the sad news. I've been trying not to let the news let my anxiety creep in again tho, I keep telling myself that I need to acknowledge it is a known thing that can happen to anyone but I can't do anything to stop it if it were to happen to me so I can spend the last few weeks just channelling as much love to my lil bump as I can and if the worst were to happen all shes known is love or spend the last few weeks with her sensing my stress and anxiety from in there. Easier said than done some days I know how much of a battle for everyone switching off that anxiety switch is! And without realising I'm doing it I keep noticing my hand has been resting on my bump every 2 mins today obviously just trying to seek subconscious reassurance that she's still there.
You'd need to have a hysterectomy to remove your womb to get rid of periods but I don't think the docs will do that unless there's a medical need and I think it runs the risk of early menopause. It sucks being a woman doesn't it, you only get a menstrual cycle to have kids so once you're finished having them it should just stop........but not stop and then onto the horrors of menopause we really don't get a reprieve as women 😵‍💫

@kate105 we're not close, we'll have a chat over the fence if we're both out in the garden but mainly small talk, I thought us both being off on mat leave may have developed more into a friendship as we'd see each other more often. I was thinking of putting a card through her door just letting her know i was thinking of them and acknowledging that I know it will be hard for her once my baby comes along and ill try not to have it in her face (obviously worded far more sensitively and eloquently than that) rather than speak to her face to face as I know when she was pregnant with her first and I was having my early losses I couldn't bear to see her walk past the window some days with her bump it hurt too much so I can only imagine how seeing me so heavily pregnant will be making her feel right now. The only thing is that she doesn't know that I know they lost the baby so I also kind of don't want to mention it until her or her husband was to say to one of us first if you get what I mean. I have seen her since her loss (when I didnt know) but she's been very much head down and straight indoors so she obviously hasn't wanted to say. So I was just trying to think of other practical ways I could make it less in your face for her. Such a heartbreakingly tricky one 😔
On a brighter note tho, can't believe your little monster is 6months already that really seems to have flown in! 😲

I think you've got it perfectly right @DKDK123 channelling the love that's what I'm doing too, I keep saying to DH "all we can do is try keep her safe & growing & that's what I'm doing so can't do more than that".

My deprovera stopped my periods, was bliss but it carries a lot of risks for being on long term anyway let alone going back on for more years. I can't go on the pill @Franklydear cos of heart & blood problems in my family

So we've done some jobs today, DH put in baby car seat & moved DS's seat across, we've finished the patio cleaning, I've given the outside furniture a layer of oil (more to do) & moved some stuff around so feeling productive here, DH gone to annual rugby tournament for a few hours

@Vil10 I've got a spa day tomorrow so looking forwards to that, then it's kids day at MILs tomorrow so Easter egg hunt, BBQ then friends for similar on Monday. You?

@2020mission please put him on the veg scales at your local supermarket 😂

Quick update as been pretty busy. Managed to get Elsie on the bob today 🎉 Theo already loves it! Haha which resulted in my first tandem feed (the midwives here are so nice and supportive if it wasn't for them Elsie wouldn't be on the boob let alone tandem feeds!) but then from that they decided to cluster feed... I've just spent the last 3.5hrs with one or the other baby or even both at times attached to me! Knackered doesn't come close!! 🤞🏼 they're settled now for a couple of hours so I can try and sleep if the pain killers kick in soon for the cramps courtesy of my uterus! 🤣🤣

Catching up after a busy few days...

Wtaf @whatwonder didn't know you lived in the 1950s?!

So impressed with your zen @DKDK123...!

Pleased appt went well despite the annoying fat chat @InkyPaper - just try to tune them out, it's not like you can do anything about it now!

My mind is always boggled by those who don't expect their other halves to be an equal parent @Kate105

We never used pram sheets @paintfairy but DS wasn't a sicky baby, perhaps one to buy if you need it.

Excellent news on calm consistent growth @Minster2012, just what we like to hear! I hope you're enjoying (aka laughing at) the thought of a toddler helping to hang wallpaper - they should have thought about that before getting involved!

Have a fab holiday @Juno231!

That is heartbreaking @DKDK123 and you knew something wasn't right. I don't think you can hide your baby, maybe write her a card or something and then they know you're not rubbing it in their faces at least?

Spa day tomorrow @Minster2012?! Delightful!

I had a fab time at the wedding, felt drunk from my 0% beer 🤣🤣🤣 feeling quite smug and fine today (just tired) but DH is fully destroyed!

My mum is here for Easter weekend which should probably be Ok, she can be quite hard work though!

@paintfairy yeah and the needle hurts that they use to numb you with. I could just feel it all, even with the gas and air so guessing the injection wasn't strong enough or took too long to take effect or something?
Good news on the visiting hours extension!
@Lexber gorge twinnes! I'm glad Dh is getting the snip, not surprised 😅
Well done on the tandem feeding, impressive 👏🏾 I struggled just feeding one!
@DKDK123 so sorry for your neighbour, how heartbreaking 💔 no ideas unfortunately but you sound like you'll be very emphatic and considerate.
@Kate105 hope you had a fun day at the farm!
@larrythelizard glad you had fun! Hope you survive Easter! We're out with my parents tomorrow and in-laws Monday.

@minster2012 enjoy your spa day today, sounds bliss!

@lexber, tandem feeding already, you're nailing it superwoman 🦸‍♀️ Glad to hear that the nurses are taking good care of you all and its such a positive experience.

@larrythelizard glad you had a good time at the wedding and no hangover the next day is definitely a bonus 🥳

It's only been a couple of times @DKDK123 and I am definitely not comfortable doing it myself yet!
Madam was too sleepy to take boob last night so prem milk overnight.
I feel like I've been hit by a train today after 3 hours of fussing and feeding this morning since 4am - sat here no with both babies on me - one in my lap asleep the other in my chest asleep in a milk coma trying to drink a coffee so my eyes don't shut. Darent move incase they wake up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@becarefuloutthere it's bloody hard work isn't it! This is a whole new level of tiredness I've never felt anything like it, but at the same time I seem to be just powering through it as I know I need to!

Looking forward to an hour sleep soon when I have the chance as I think I only had about 2 hours last night due to hungry babies!