Due July 2022 (thread 4)

[CaptainCarp]

Hi all another new thread as the old 1 was almost full!

Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4445441-Due-July-2022-thread-3?pg=1

I would actually love my sister there too (although as I said I like to know people are just nearby rather than have them in the room!) but she lives far away and I labour super fast, and with one slightly prem baby and one two weeks late it's impossible to predict when would be helpful for her to visit! haha.

yes I think being comfortable pooing in front of someone is still quite strong but I could trust my husband to pretend he didn't notice and we could never talk about it ever again

It's not so much who WOULD you be comfortable pooing in front of as who ARE YOU GOING to be pooing in front of to be fair

@MollyRover good point! I have no idea if I pooed in labour last time and I’m not going to ask!

I think seeing the baby come out was bad enough for DH to be fair.

Unsure how many people are allowed in delivery suite but for us I'm having my mother in law !

My finance is staying home to look after our 10 year old

I know I'm probably in the minority but we all agree it's the best decision

Absolutely adore my MIL like my own mum but my mum has cancer and is having chemo for the next few months plus I'm so comfortable with my mil and I like the fact fiancé is home with my daughter

Likely I'll be induced my consultant says but that's to be decided nearer the time so it may be a while I'm away and I don't want my daughter anywhere else than home/school and home from home

Deal is my fiancé is doing the 1st night feed when I'm home! So I can sleep

My first we didn't do that, both stayed up and both absolutely shattered and she was a bad sleeper for months - bad colic

I feel with your 2nd you can have a bit of a plan and know what to expect

I was also left with ptsd from my first birth
It felt very traumatic so I'm trying to learn from that experience with this one even though I know it may be completely different xx

@KizboBaggins which support belt did you get? I've got a bbhugme pregnancy pillow but it was 2nd hand from ebay.
@Capricorn8990 I think we are only allowed husbands only still. Which suits me as it means no one else can moan. No visitors either, which again, is like music to my ears. 🤣🤣🤣 How I'm going to fend them off when I'm home is another matter.....

Anyone else worried about the onslaught of family coming to visit? With my first I asked for no one to come up for the first week - we live in Scotland and they in England, so they need to stay with us when they visit. I had a traumatic birth and everyone decided to come visit me as soon as I got home from hospital. This time I'm considering not telling family when I go into labour so we can have a few days to ourselves.

They always say they are coming to help but it never turns out that way.

@paintfairy I got this BabyGo one from Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07V6YQJ3M/ref=cmswwrcppapiii62JERN7HBDPQWNQQR84J?encoding=UTF8&psc=1

It has two sections, the bottom part suggested use from 20 weeks and additional top part (under boobs) from 30 weeks. It's not the cheapest but I've literally bought everything else second hand so far so this is the closest I've got to "treating" myself the past few months 😂

And for what it's worth I wouldn't want anyone but my DH in the room with me. I have no idea how I'm going to react and he's the only one who will be able to cope with me no matter what I'm going through!

When do you start doing birth planning with the midwife? Is it after 30 weeks? I have no idea what I want to happen. I'm getting more and more concerned the more I read about being induced though and how it's a lot more painful... I hope labour starts naturally ...

@paintfairy I got these two but I'm only using the white one so far (2 days) because it's less heavy duty. It's just for when I'm doing more active things, walking, gym etc. I think it's making a difference, I definitely don't have as much pain today. Haven't tried the other one yet, I've heard they're not great for your stomach muscles so I'm minimizing use.

Hi all this threads moved on a bit! Taken a while for me to catch up.

I hope all who caught covid are now feeling better.
I was on a residential course when DP caught covid which worked well for us as he was on "Freedom day" & tested negative as I came back. We couldn't have timed it better in some ways.
I was out for a work do on Saturday though & 10 of the 30 people in our group have tested positive in the last 2 days!

On good news i had a midwife appointment today (26 weeks) all seemed fine & got to listen to the heartbeat again which was nicely reassuring ☺ baby actually played ball & stayed still so we got a good listen rather than a few seconds 😂

@missv556 its feeling much more real now fast approaching the 3rd trimester! It's quite nice knowing baby is now viable, although definitely want them to stay in a bit longer!

@KizboBaggins apologies for the delay in responding. It is my 1st but DPs 2nd so he's all "I've done this before its OK" & I'm sat here thinking "I can't even change a nappy" 😂
Not finding out the sex doesn't feel challenging to me but we are struggling to think of boys names. DP has a girls name he likes which is growing on me.

I think that's the scariest part for me... Having to give baby a name they have to "live with". I'm probably massively over thinking though lol.

@DayToNight oh I hadn't even considered this.... My first was in NICU for two weeks and it was all so traumatic my Mum stayed for a month after she was born and issued orders that no-one was to visit during that month which I was so grateful for at the time. This time around we're hoping to not repeat all that buuut we're in the same boat, if anyone comes they have to stay with us and I really don't want to be doing post C-section, newborn, three year old needing lots of attention AND house guests!

My sister in law said after each of hers was born that everyone was welcome to come and meet them but no-one could stay and they weren't offering anything beyond a cup of tea and a biscuit. People actually stayed in premier Inn and at the time I thought bloody hell that's quite strict but it's looking reeeeeally quite attractive now! 😂

@DayToNight I feel the same about visitors, especially ones who have to stay! I found myself getting so irritated when people stopped over lunch time last time and I had to try and pull together food whilst trying to feed a 4 day old. I’ll be stricter this time.

@KizboBaggins I was induced with my first. Pretty much had the opposite of the relaxed water birth in a MLU that I had planned, but it was fine! I read the Positive Birth Company book and all the ‘birth stories’ on their website and found it so empowering and helpful. I ignored the bits I found odd (no whale music or positive affirmation tracks for me thanks!) but I felt confident enough to assert myself with my consultant, and laboured without a midwife until the last 10 mins (she said I wasn’t in labour yet and then freaked out slightly when she finally listened to me and saw I was actually 10cm and very much about to give birth). I’d recommend a read if you’re nervous about things not going to ‘plan’ :)

@DayToNight I'm already getting anxiety from the thought of visitors. I'm also in Scotland & my in laws are literally half an hour away via the M8 & have already made comments about taking holidays for when baby is due & have even 'joked' about being in the delivery room with me.
It's their first grand baby, so I get it - they're excited but the thought of someone taking my tiny little baby off of me almost immediately gives me such awful anxiety. Ideally, I'd like a minimum of a week to get to know & bond with my baby but I just know with how strong willed MIL can be, they'll be up that motorway the moment they find out baby is born 😞

Oh @Effram your quiet birth story is beautiful I almost cried, thank you for sharing. I'm on a homebirth scheme and all I want is to be given the space to do what I need to do, whether we transfer or not. Main reason to be homebirth is to have my hubby there with me at all times, the mat hosp is a bit in the 1950s and sends the partners away until your "ready". But that's all I want, is him there with me.
I'm not sure what to expect afterwards, as we live right next door to my in-laws which happens to be the epicentre of their family, I'm hoping they'll back off until we say we're ready for visitors. My fam would have to stay, mum's going to be ready to visit at the drop of a hat and dad and bros can wait till we've settled in as they'll be no use for helping anyway 😅

For those of you worried about unwanted house guests I’d recommend you set expectations now!

We blamed covid last time and said “the midwives advised no visitors for the first week as their immune system is so fragile and we can’t risk them catching it so early“ they’d said no such thing but we wanted time to figure out life being parents and a family of 3. Plus I was bfing so spent most of the day sat with my tits out whilst I got the hang of it.

Tbh I wouldn’t want anybody staying overnight in the first month, never mind the first week. Luckily all our family are close enough they can do short visits.

Not even thought about house guests. DPs mum doesn't drive so he'd have to go fetch her so if we didn't feel up to it she wouldn't be able to come over.
She never over stays her welcome though so I'd be happy for her to come (I think!)

My mum will come over but wouldn't expect to be waited on & would get everything herself. My brother & his wife would be the same & I'm sure SIL would be a help especially breastfeeding. She's done it for 2 babies in front of us all so no qualms about boobs out in our family!

No one tries to visit in hospital in my family though & we have always allowed a day at home with new baby & then made sure we don't all descend at once.
Ive only got 2 siblings though & only the 1 with children so not masses of relatives.

DP has is mum & 1 sister who isn't local.

Good morning ladies

I know I'm probably too early to start thinking about packing hospital bag (23wks!) but I just want to be super prepared so maybe around 30wks

My first was 11 yrs ago and can't even remember! I do remember not wanting to take anything too nice so ended up buying new slippers, nightie etc and used them for when baby was home and took older ones in that I then could just throw away - I don't know why this was I just didn't fancy anything brand new and what with covid and just in general I think it's just being hygienic-and not worrying about having to do loads of washing when you arrive home with baby.

Anyway someone mentioned clear bags labellled up and I've just seen these

What are peopleS thoughts on this idea of packing?

This time I'm thinking of taking a suitcase
We have a wheely type hand luggage size one and having half for baby and half for me as it has two compartments rather than bags ?

X

Could you not get a sharpie and label your own clear plastic bags for a fraction of the cost?
Personally I didn't bother bagging anything separately, its just extra plastic waste.
I just packed sensibly with stuff I'd need first nearer the top. I packed enough for 36hrs in hospital and then prepared a second bag that I left at home that OH could bring in in case we stayed in hospital longer.

@SouthwestSis yes could do, haven't had much thoughts on it until someone mentioned on here - didn't mean exactly these ones but more the idea and if it's even necessary as I didn't do that the first time but then can't really remember!

Plus buying them would be a waste as this is most likely my last pregnancy so wouldn't be used again x

I like the idea of labelling some bits as my birth last time I was in theatre for 2 hrs leaving hubby alone with baby and when I came back baby was dressed, fed and changed, ( she had even done her nice first poo for daddy!) he looked traumatised bless him (wasn't until after we realised we probably both were after my birth)

Anyway....it would be handy as this time my mother in law is my birthing partner so maybe I'll label up bags for body suits/baby grows etc just to make it easier for her rather than trying to find bits x

@strawberrysummer19
It might be worth labelling baby gros / sleep suit if a couple of different sizes are taken?
I haven't looked into it a lot but I'm thinking of taking some newborn sized items & some 0-3 in case baby is long / estimated size is wrong.

Just having a bit of a sort through clothing I've already got as got given a few bags by different friends.

Anyone have a clue as to just "how much" of each size / item to get?
I seem to have quite a few short bodysuits/babygros for 0-3 now... But I don't know how many is enough 20? That gives over 2 a day.

A friend of mine who has had 2 c-sections told me recently that her top tip for her hospital bag was to put everything (including complete outfits) in ziplock bags & label them accordingly. She said it’s a lifesaver on the first night when you can’t really move and need either midwife or partner assistance to do everything.

@CaptainCarp I found it’s so difficult to plan - buy as little as possible until they arrive! Last time I took newborn and 0-3 bits to hospital - had loads of growth scans showing an ‘average’ baby, and she was 7lb 3 so not tiny. Newborn stuff absolutely swamped her and I had to send people out for tiny baby clothes, that she wore comfortably for at least a month. All the lovely summer 0-3 clothes people bought didn’t get worn because she didn’t fit in them until she was a few months old!

See my first was 9lbd and skipped one month and went straight into 0-3! She was so long and didn't fit her feet in the baby grows with the feet - we cut them though! As had washed everything and was a waste not using as it was august and so hot! X

@CaptainCarp I’d get as little as you can get away with tbh, you’ll get given so much stuff from friends / family and they grow so quick it’s hard to use it all.
It’s also really hard to know what size they’ll come out / stay. DD was quite small and newborn stuff swamped her initially but within 2 weeks she was out of them and in 0-3 months.

I think I had a 5 pack of vests and 3 or 4 sleep suits in newborn size and it was fine, we did washing quite often but it built up quickly from all the muslins/ my clothes etc anyway (hello night sweats / leaking milk) so it was no hassle to chuck the baby stuff in as well.