Due August (Thread 2)

[Beth262]

Starting a new thread as the first is almost full...

@Isonthecase @CoalCraft @KitsuneDream @netflixandnochill @smooshrasberry @seathistle @notsofertilemyrtle @Squatternutbosh12 @Glago2017 @madeleine85 @beckybloomwood11 @Gem2811 @PopGoesBang @Surprised12 @Cakecakecheese @Minnie296 @Unsure1010 @SantiagoSister @jeggles @LiMc1 @netflixandsauvignonBlanc @Mufflette

I've only tagged those from the last few pages of thread 1. Sorry if I've missed anyone!

Thanks all. I’ve messaged my midwife and am going to ring my GP surgery in the morning. I feel so silly worrying, but can’t seem to not be worried. Being older (41) and overweight, I just want to know if there’s anything I need to prepare myself for.

And @theotherfossilsister I’m so sorry, I hadn’t read the thread properly, so missed your news. I’m so pleased that you have got the results back and the stress and worry is gone. As others have said, baby won’t have been affected at all.

The imaginary (?) kicks were out in force last night. Still not convinced as I'm only 15+3 but it definitely wasn't gas! Why must everything be so uncertain lol

Hi ladies, do you accept one more? It's nice to see some familiar "faces" here! :)

I was in the July/Aug group but it has gone real quiet as everyone is on the FB group, and I'm not on FB...

I don't know which group to join (Jul or Aug) as I'm due Aug 1, and currently 18+1!

The wait till the 20 scan is killing me - it's exactly two weeks from now! I had a gender/well-being scan at 16 weeks, which right now feels AGES ago! Honestly, if it were up to me I'd have a scan every week. I find that the week of and after a scan I feel great and relaxed, and then it's like my brain forgets and is like Wait, are we sure there is a baby in there? We haven't seen it in a while... Why am I like this?

Anyone else around the same weeks as me and not feeling movements yet? I've been told on every single scan how active mine is, and I have posterior placenta so absolutely ITCHING to feel something, but I don't think I have yet! I thought a couple of days ago I felt something...like...a little muscle twitch or pulsation behind my belly button but it was gone so quick, I am absolutely not convinced it was baby! I keep thinking any little thing I can feel is probably digestion-related....grin I keep waiting for a definite move I can feel and pay attention to, to determine if it is baby but no luck yet.

How is everyone else feeling? Physically/mentally? Any holiday plans in the near future?

Also, do we have or want to start a calendar with due dates?

@CoalCraft it’s so frustrating not being certain isn’t it, I’m still the same too 😂 let’s hope for some definite movements soon.

Hi @Danani! I have been wondering how you’ve been doing. I wasn’t sure if you had gone over to the Facebook group, but obviously you hadn’t! Glad to hear all is well with you, how did you get on at your gender scan? 💙💗 I’m with you on the constant waiting for scans, my 20 week one is just over 2 weeks away too. That sounds like it could’ve been baby’s first movements for you, that’s exactly how mine started last time feeling little twitches at around 18 weeks. 17+5 for me this time and still not felt anything certain to be baby, likely anterior placenta though (to be confirmed at 20 week scan) so that’s probably why. It’s so frustrating, I just want that reassurance all is well.

Hey lovely @SantiagoSister! :)

My gender scan went great - I was so nervous! I swear before every scan I worry there won't be a baby in there (illogical, I know!!).
Our little girl was wiggling about, the sonographer commented that she's a really active baby! He also confirmed my placenta is posterior, so should be easier to feel movements. But like....where are they??? Every time I think I feel something....I end up thinking it's gas or my digestive system. Not sure what to be on the lookout for as nothing feels...overly definitive or baby-ish. 😃
I wonder if there are any "hacks" to catch if it's really baby moving...I don't know like to pay extra attention after a meal, or after I have something sweet, or after I have a glass of cold water and lay down or something?

I completely 1000% relate to how you're feeling, because honestly SAME! Hopefully time flies for the next two weeks for both of us. :)
How have you been otherwise?

@Danani so pleased your gender scan went really well, a gorgeous little girl, how lovely! Congratulations 🥰 I genuinely think scanxiety is a real thing, I’m exactly the same. I can’t help with any hacks unfortunately, as never tried them! I do think those early movements really differ between everyone as to what they are described like, I never got the bubbles that people talk about, I just started with the twitches which I didn’t know if it was just gas, but then they slowly turned into little thuds from the inside and I knew it was baby then, as I’d never felt anything like that before, such a magical feeling! I can’t wait to feel them again this time. With your posterior placenta I feel sure it won’t be long until you’re having daily baby movements 🥰 and thank you! I really hope the time passes quickly for us both too. Im doing ok thank you, although I’m feeling super anxious about my 20 week scan, as that’s where everything went wrong for us last time. Wishing with all my might that we get a clean bill of health at this scan. At the moment I still can’t let myself believe there may be a chance I could bring this baby home 😔 pregnancy after loss is such a complicated journey. How are you feeling?

Hi @Danani, welcome! I hope you feel some definite kicks soon. I definitely know the feeling of "baby or gas??" lol At this early stage I think it's got more to do with how baby's lying than anything else and I'm not sure there's much you can do to prod them into action, but with my first I would just put my hand over my tummy when I thought I felt a kick and wait, and if I could feel movement on the outside of my tummy then I was confident it really was baby.

It's affected by so many things though, like your weight, your muscle tone and whether you've carried before - it's considered within normal range even if you don't feel anything up to 24 weeks! My sil is larger but very active and fit and has only just started feeling movements at 22 weeks (her second baby).

I hope time passes quickly till your scan. That goes for you too @SantiagoSister. I'm hoping right along with you that you and your little one get the all-clear.

Thank you very much @CoalCraft ❤️

Hi everyone!
Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to apply for my dream job a few weeks ago.
Update - I'm through to the third and final stage (woop)
I have to travel to London next week for an interview in the shard (fancy)

Just want a little advice - before now, I haven't mentioned the pregnancy in the recruitment process - but guilt won out and I rang the recruitment team today.

I told them, they were lovely but said they'd get back to me about when/if I should disclose to the recruiting manager.
They've got back to me and said they recommend I don't mention it until I would potentially receive a job offer.

Does anyone else think this seems a little dishonest? It's a really big role, with a lot of responsibility- which will be perfect for me up to and on return from mat leave.
But I think I'll feel like I'm dropping a bomb on them by saying 'Thank you very much but now you need to recruit my mat leave cover'

It's a strange situation to be in!!

@surprised12 my advice would be not to mention it until you have an offer. Unfortunately some people are still prejudiced against pregnant women and just in case you don't want to decrease your chances.

It might perhaps be a little annoying for them, but won't be a big deal for them to recruit someone to cover you.

I understand your mindset. I have a disability and need some adjustments for most if not all job roles nowadays. I've held myself back from applying for some jobs imagining the frustration my future manager might have in making reasonable adjustments and how much I might stick out, the flack I'd get from colleagues due to not being able to carry out a small portion of the role.

There's enough in life (especially when it comes to employment) that will hold you back. Don't be something holding you back too.

Just because your circumstances mean you need some accommodations doesn't mean you don't deserve to seek and gain job roles others needing less accommodations can get.

@surprised12 that is amazing, congratulations on making it this far!! I'd take their advice. No need to tell them until there is an offer you have accepted. If you get the job, then it is deservedly yours whether or not you have to take a little time off. They clearly think you are a great candidate for the role, and any good company would be willing to wait. Enjoy your London trip!

Seeking a little reassurance from ladies who are further along (pretty much everyone here seems to be). I am 14 weeks today, the sickness is gone, and I feel generally good, energy is more or less back etc. I am a little concerned as another mum gave me a doppler, and I don't consistently see a heartbeat. Sometimes it is there, but the last few times I have used it I really have to search and I don't always find one. Between feeling better, my horrible pregnancy spots on my forehead/chest have cleared up, and the doppler thing I am driving myself a little crazy. I have a doctors checkup this Thursday, but could really use some "this is normal" reassurance. I had a bit of a panic as the doppler is a random chinese made brand, and bought a new one, but it doesn't arrive until after my checkup. I also told all my colleagues about the pregnancy, my parents etc in the last few days. It feels very overwhelming and like I jumped the gun and there might be a problem and I just don't know yet. All scans so far have been fine, I thought I was beginning to feel movement, but also i've been exercising the last few days and i'm feeling smaller sometimes which isn't helping. Anyway, thank you so much to anyone reading this, pregnancy is the absolute pits for neurotic folk like me!

@madeleine85 I've been debating over buying a doppler. One of the reasons I kept finding against buying one is that it can be difficult and sometimes impossible for even medical professionals to find baby's heartbeat with one which can lead to the mother worrying unnecessarily.

Apparently success depends on a lot of factors particularly pre 16 weeks or even pre third trimester. Position of baby, how full your bladder is, even the amount of gel you use (more is not always better). So from this I'd say not always being able to find the heartbeat is totally normal and nothing to worry about.

@ToCaden thanks so much for the response. Reading the 16 weeks thing makes me feel much better. I am definitely carrying belly weight that I didn't have with my DD, and I had just worked out today when i did it so my bladder would have been empty. Ok thanks for talking me off the crazy ledge. Nothing I do between today and Thursday is going to change that if there is a problem with this baby then there just is and I have to stop being completely neurotic :). I honestly was nothing like this with my DD. I was utterly clueless, and barely thinking about pregnancy. This one is turning me into a complete nutjob!

@madeleine85 if it’s some reassurance to you, I had my 16 week midwife appointment yesterday (at 17+4) and even she struggled to find baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler, and that’s someone who does it for a living every day! I can understand the worry you feel as you just want them to be ok in there, I just know for a fact I wouldn’t be able to use a Doppler as I would panic so much if I couldn’t find the heartbeat. I was panicking enough yesterday and was so relieved when she eventually did find it, but it was ever so faint so baby must be in an awkward position. Don’t worry about feeling anxious about everything, I’m exactly the same! I hate having to relinquish control to Mother Nature when I just want to do my absolute best to make sure this baby is ok! When in reality, apart from looking after ourselves, there’s not an awful lot we can do to influence things it seems x

@madeleine85 those Doppler things are dreadful, hearing the heartbeat is no guarantee the baby is ok and not being able to find it yourself is equally no guarantee that something has gone wrong. Leave it to the experts.

@surprised12 that's exciting! Good luck at the interview, just tell yourself you can do it and you'll be fine ☺️ I'd go with what you've been told, I recruit people fairly often for my team and would much rather not know about something like that at the interview as I'd be concerned about unconscious bias. If you're planning to do the job well and for a long time you'll be worth the hassle up front.

@madeleine85 I had my 16 week apt last Friday when I was 16+5 and the student midwife struggled to find a consistent heartbeat. The midwife took a few goes and was a lot firmer and said how hard it can be.
I hear a lot of people say home dopplers aren't always easy to use.
Remember you'll soon get movements that will reassure you, and any change in those you'll likely be monitored so will have reassurance then too.
I still feel in limbo without the movements yet.

Thanks everyone, I definitely feel much better. This morning I literally thought “what if the doctor can’t find the heartbeat with one either” it’s good to know it’s a real possibility at this point. Those kicks can’t come soon enough (she says now)

@surprised12 well done on making it so far! I have been hoping you would post an update, I’m in a bit of a situation too. I work as a teaching assistant, started in November on a temporary contract. I now have an interview for a permanent position and have a good idea that I will be successful. The problem is they still don’t know I’m expecting….I feel like I’m being secretive not telling them but I don’t want to ruin my chances.

It’s a really tricky choice to make as to whether you tell them or not isn’t it.

Feeling a bit down today. I'm away with work the next 3 weeks (Mon-fri). It's completely unavoidable. I'll be back for weekends. I was due to have my midwife 16 week appointment today at 14 and a bit weeks so I didn't miss it, however, because they moved my due date a couple of days the midwife cancelled saying it's too early.

The next available appointment that I'm not away for is on 6th April! I'll be 19 weeks!

This means I won't have checked in on the baby since my 12 week scan and it'll have been 7 weeks!!

I'm anxious anyway but been relaxed however now I can't help but feel what if something goes wrong and I'm unaware all that time!

I don't know what I can do. I can't afford a private scan.

I'm really upset & feel stuck. I don't have any symptoms anymore (which I'm grateful for) but I don't have anything to reassure me.

@koalalala that’s really annoying :( on the other hand - if it were me anyway- it would be worse to go early at 14 ish weeks and have them be unable to find the heartbeat - even though they would say we just sometimes can’t find it this early (and therefore wouldn’t scan to make sure) - I would panic so much. I was a bit worried going at 15 and a half weeks as the midwife did warn me they might not be able to, even then!

However if waiting til 6th is just too far away for you then could you come back from the away-work temporarily to attend? They do have to give you time off to attend antenatal appointments- though I of course understand if it’s far away it might just be practically too difficult for you. Ugh what an annoying situation for you!
If you did have to wait til 6th, apart from the heartbeat you aren’t missing much- wee and blood pressure and reminder to book whooping cough vaccine. You could ask to do the wee and BP at the surgery before you go if you had any concerns about that side of things.

@koalalala Aww, oh dear, that's no fun, though I agree it's better the midwife cancelled the early appointment than be unable to find the heartbeat and cause no end of worry. I feel for you though. My midwife isn't doing 16 week appointments still 'cuz covid (not sure she ever plans on bringing them back though) so there'll be no official check on baby between dating scan and anomaly scan.

If it helps though, by 19 weeks there's a decent chance you'll already be feeling kicks and things so you'll know baby is active and wriggling xx

Where I am I don't get a heartbeat check from a midwife until my 25 week appointment. They say it's to avoid the anxiety of them possibly not being able to find it. So my 16 week appointment yesterday was a bit of a non event really.

@koalalala if it will make you feel better - after the 12 week scan, I had a 16 week appointment with midwife which was over the phone, so no checking on baby, just general check in on my wellbeing etc. Next time I'll see baby is 20 weeks, and next midwife app is at 25 weeks, so I think it's not a concern that you won't see her until 19 weeks anyway. That appointment was really to go over the 12 week results, and what to expect of the 20 week scan, as well as any quesitons.