What would happen if I stop attending MW appointments?

[Janedoe95]

I really don't enjoy my midwife appointments, initially I thought they'd be exciting but I just find them a complete waste of my time.

I don't feel listened to and everything I mention is apparently a normal part of pregnancy that I just have to deal with. e.g. nose bleeds / hip pain

I don't dislike my midwife she's fine but I just really don't want to attend anymore and every time I leave an appointment I feel deflated and wonder why I even went.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant what would happen if I stop attending MW appointments? I haven't found the NHS very involved and I'd be surprised if they even call or check why I haven't attended I want to just wait until I go in to labour now.

It’s not meant to be ‘enjoyable’, it’s to check you and baby are well.

They'd chase you up to check you're ok.

It's not wise to stop seeing your midwife especially as you near the end of pregnancy. There's a lot that can happen at this point and the midwife is trained to spot warning signs.

Out of interest what did you expect to happen at the appointments?

The next one will talk more about labour and what to do when you go into labour.

At 35 weeks you've only got a few more to go and after 39 weeks the midwife can offer sweeps etc

What are you expecting to happen at these appointments? It's important you attend because they do various important checks to ensure baby and you are well

If you stop attending you would be putting your and your baby's health at risk. The appointments are not supposed to be exciting, they are there to keep an eye on you both, check baby's heart rate, check for infection etc.

You literally only have 5/7 weeks left.
It's very important to see them at this stage.

Don't know why anyone wouldn't go to make sure themselves and their baby are safe.

It's not a social meeting if you were expecting some conversation about other things.

Please don't stop going.

As above really. I’m not sure what you thought would be exciting really, they are just regular checks to make sure all is ok. Weeing in a pot is never the highlight of my day although I was always excited to hear the heart beating. Nothing would happen if you stopped going but you would want monitoring isn’t here least few weeks in case there’s a problem. I was fine until 36 weeks when baby turned breach and didn’t turn back. If i hadn’t have been having weekly checks then I wouldn’t know this and my labour would have been considerable worse and more dangerous than it was.

I wouldn't stop going we have them for a reason surely they measuring you, listening to babys heartbeat, routine blood tests, blood pressure checks. why would you not want someone checking baby is doing well.

Don’t stop going, for all the reasons above.

They’re not supposed to be exciting so I wonder if part of the issue is your expectation? And whether you’re getting support in your pregnancy elsewhere? The truth is pregnancy is quite boring, even for the person pregnant, so after the initial “guess what?” announcements people just aren’t going to fuss over you. Especially not a midwife who sees pregnancies umpteen times a day. Is your partner involved/interested?

When you feel dismissed re hip pain, nose bleeds, etc, what would you like to happen? It’s true that lots of pregnancy ailments are cured by giving birth, so unless it’s something truly debilitating like HG, or you can’t walk from the pain, rest and hoping you don’t go to 42 weeks is about the best thing to do.

The last couple of appointments are critical - they do follow up blood tests, will measure you which could pick up small / big bump which would then refer for additional scan, they keep taking your urine which may pick up protein, glucose etc (lots of people have pre-eclampsia picked up this late), they will feel tummy to identify if baby is breech, listen to baby's heart rate.
You'd be absolutely mad to get this far then sack off the most important midwife appointments. They're not very enjoyable appointments, what did you expect?

There is a lot of things that are uncomfortable that are normal in pregnancy but the midwives are trained to spot if anything is serious. Therefore, it’s not meant to be fun, it’s a medical appointment

With only a few weeks to go, they will be monitoring you closely for serious complications like gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. They’ll be talking to you about labour, when to head into the hospital, about your birth plan, offering you sweeps if you want them and inductions if you need those. They’ll go through what should happen if your water break, what they should like, that you should call maternity services and get checked out just to be sure. I would imagine if you turn up in labour having not seen them for potentially 7 weeks then you will be out straight on the delivery unit with continuous monitoring as they won’t know what could be affecting you or baby.

Given how many women I’ve known that have had preeclampsia which developed in the last few weeks and then been induced for it, it’s not something I would risk by missing routine appointments.

Whilst attending maternity care isn't compulsory, there are many good reasons to go for midwife check ups, especially in the final month or two of your pregnancy. And failing to attend midwife appointments will likely lead to your midwife checking up on you. Failing to attend for antenatal care is associated with worse pregnancy outcomes, and, if done without explanation is often flagged as a cause for concern as it can be due to poor mental health, chaotic lifestyle, domestic abuse or illness. (I'm not trying to say any of these apply to you, but as a midwife I've spent an awful lot of time chasing up frequent non attenders.)

Midwife appointments aren't exactly supposed to be fun. We check the basics like BP and urine to screen for signs of infection or pre-eclampsia, and check baby to measure for growth and position, and have a wee listen in to baby's heartbeat. You should have the opportunity to ask any questions (and often the answer is that common complaints such as sore hips etc are just due to pregnancy) and go through plans and preferences for labour and birth.

Given that appointments are only usually 15-20 minutes, there's sadly not much time for chatting and having a laugh. I will say, though, that there have been many many occasions where I've picked up on something wrong through doing basic checks that the woman would have been otherwise unaware of. Feeling well isn't always a sign that everything is completely normal in pregnancy.

Given that you're already 35 weeks, you'll probably only have a maximum of 4 or so short appointments left to go.

If I hadn't seen me at 35 weeks my ds would have died....
Sadly medical appointments aren't meant to be enjoyable...

I was reported to ss for this so as you haven’t got long to go I would just grin and bare it, you’ve made it this far

Why would you have thought they’d be exciting?

It is like a smear test - excellent reasons to get it done, so not fun or exciting though (quite the opposite), and could have serious consequences if you miss them…

I’m with everyone else on this. I had horrid carpal tunnel, nosebleeds, sciatica during pregnancy. There wasn’t much MWs could do and it all cleared up once baby arrived.

Hopefully your appointments continue to be boring if they get ‘exciting’ that would mean something was going wrong. Personally I always get very relieved to go in, have my urine checked, baby’s heart rate checked, my blood pressure checked, tick a few boxes and get chucked out by a disinterested midwife who was probably looking forward to her tea later.

I have friends who have had some very ‘non boring’ appointments and I wouldn’t swap for the world, I don’t think many people in this country understand how dangerous having a baby can be. I hate sharing these stats as I don’t like to scare nervous mothers but one in 200 babies are stillborn in this country and 9 in every 100,000 women die giving birth. Compared to some places, giving birth in the UK is very safe, but those aren’t numbers I’d gamble with when I have access to free-at-the-point-of-use medical expertise.

These are the important appointments that you need to turn up for, they could spot complications like pre eclampsia. A heart problem was picked up with a Doppler at my 35 week appointment. Planning the birth, or possible induction etc will all happen the next few weeks I wouldn’t skip it.

It's quite important to keep an eye on your baby this late in the pregnancy. That's why the NHS spend so much time, money and resources doing them routinely.

It’s a handful of appointments left.

Echoing PP’s in saying it’s the most important time & when serious conditions can be picked up.

It would be unwise to stop going ro appontments. Their purpose is not to entertain you.

I also find my midwife appointments a bit annoying sometimes - mostly because I see a different midwife every time and meantime see a consultant regularly anyway so in my case it’s probably not necessary to see a random midwife who doesn’t know all my relevant medical history.

But assuming you are not getting any other ant natal care at this stage I think it’s really important to keep going to your appointments as there are all sorts of complications that can arise as you get closer to birth - they will check baby’s position (important at this stage if baby not the right way up/engaged) and check your blood pressure and urine (important for picking up things like gestational diabetes, utis and preeclampsia al of which can be very serious). Also if you were to become overdue it’s important you are seen so the options/risks can be discussed.

It’s only a few more weeks so I would say just try and grin and bear it as it’s really important for you and your baby’s health.

The next few weeks are important to check for eclampsia, baby position and discuss what happens if you’re overdue etc. They’re important basic checks for both yourself AND the baby. I’d suck it up and go and really don’t see why ‘enjoyment’ plays any role in it. You really don’t want to end up eclampsia. Lots of pregnancy isn’t enjoyable and there are loads of uncomfortable to downright painful or agonising symptoms (pelvic girdle pain, sciatica etc) that are ‘normal’. They can’t prescribe usual painkillers and lots of medications so what do you expect (and I don’t mean that aggressively/sarcastically - just honestly what do you want to happen?) If you have ongoing pains try a physio who specialises in pregnancy or consider stopping work a bit earlier?

I would also start managing expectations about the birth if you find yourself upset about the disconnect between your expectations about pregnancy and the reality thus far. Things rarely go to plan.

What a bizarre post. If this is real I would stop and give yourself a shake. MW appointments aren’t meant to be fun and exciting, they’re a medical appointment If you see a brief chat with your MW every week or two as too mundane to be wasting your time with I fear you’re in for a shock about many aspects of parenting.

Be thankful your appointments are apparently so dull, it means things are going as expected.

But nosebleeds and hip pain ARE normal in pregnancy? And if they were that bad, rather than refusing to see your midwife you'd be insisting on a different midwife or a doctor's appointment. I don't really get this at all?

I wasn't a fan of most of the midwives I saw. I agree with you, they can be a bit dismissive and annoying. But that doesn't change the fact that it was at a midwife appointment that my friend's increased blood pressure was picked up, allowing them to spot and treat pre-eclampsia. It was at a midwife appointment that I was given the blood test that diagnosed obstetric cholestasis. It is at midwife appointments that a baby's lack of growth might be spotted or any number of other things.

This is just one of the many things you suck up as a parent. Just like I wasn't wild about the multiple people sticking their hands up my vagina during childbirth. Or the endless number of people standing around while my legs were spread and I was being stitched up. It's mostly unpleasant and not much fun but nonetheless necessary.

I'm afraid this is just the beginning of medical appointments for the good of your child that aren't particularly exciting!

I agree, mainly they are a non event. But be thankful they haven’t been picking up anything of concern/ that’s abnormal. That’s a good thing!!

My son had a birth defect which they picked up in utero. It’s not life threatening but could leave him disabled if not treated effectively. My friend had pre eclampsia and was cared for in hospital. Another friend’s child had heart defect requiring emergency surgery following birth. All 3 would be dead or disabled without modern medicine and midwives.

The checks they do are essential for early intervention.

Be thankful that you live in 2022 and not 1922!!!