I'm Mulled Wino. I don't think I'm missing the point. I am trying to say this: don't assume that your baby with be healthy and that's that, although hope he/she will be all means. Then perhaps you won't be as preoccupied by the gender.
I totally get the point that most of us may think "Oh I hope it's a boy.." or "A girl would be nice this time.." BUT if you find youself thinking "Oh I'll be so gutted if it's a girl.." or "I'm am so disappointed to be having a boy.. I can't stop crying", then you have an issue you need to address.
In those cicmstances, reminding youself of families who have far worse baby-related scenarios to grapple with (perhaps life threatening/limiting) may put it into context. And even better, consider that before you even get pregnant, then the gender may feel less important to you from the word go. And you will avoid the "being in tears from disappointment" scenario entirely.
Other people's disability/serious health issues are so easy to ignore. Maybe make an attempt to at least consider them, rationally and sympathetically sometimes, and the fact that it can happen to anyone.. any family.. any pregnant woman, suddenly, without warning, plunged to into a whole different world that she never wanted to be part of. And the key word there is rationally.. I'm not suggested anyone should worry and stress and become neurotic over all the many possible terrible scenarios that could - but probably won't - happen. Just give them a moment's consideration, when you find yourself wishing irrationally for a girl (or boy.)
Yes, you are entitled to your feelings, yes you are entitled to talk about them. But also, you should expect to have them commented on occasionally on a way that irritates you. You feel irritated because you are being forced to consider the unthinkable. But you are only been forced to think about it for a moment,.. not, I sincerely hope for your sakes, actually live it.
That's the "putting into context" and "perspective" that I mean. Someone below disagreed and said no, that is my context only and that I'm being unkind. Well unkindness is and was not my intention just general perspective and consideration of a "there but for the grace of God" scenario.