IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

I hope everyone on this thread is doing well. I have my 20 week scan on Monday morning! I’ve been ok this week, as it’s been a really busy week at work, and organising a big event on Thursday has kept me distracted. Now I’m logged off for the weekend and I’m 100% focused on being terrified about the scan!

Everything looked good at my private scan at 16 weeks… and I’ve had no bleeding or cramps since… so it should be fine… right?

I'm 7 days behind you @The3rdWatermelon and really sympathise with the "scanxiety". Everytime I fret about the scan I try to keep telling myself that currently there is no evidence to suggest that anything is wrong. Like you say, no symptoms that could cause worry. Obviously it's still hard! I'm a terrible catastrophiser so I know I need to keep repeating it to myself 100 times a day if needed. I've also got the pregnancy affirmation cards from Cat Strawbridge ("finally pregnant" on social media) which I found really calming to look at everyday.

We're at a wedding 3.5 hours from home which is challenging for me... They are DH's friends and I haven't seen any of them since pre covid as I was isolating for most of last year due to IVF. The women have all bypassed the congratulations and just queued up to tell me what I'm doing wrong - should be eating A B C not D E F, should be taking blah blah blah vitamins. And then told me all the birth horror stories. It's probably all very normal, but they all know I've been very sickly and still not feeling great, so I really wish someone would have at least started with "so pleased for you, sorry you've been so poorly".

It's that familiar scenario of wishing people would say things that we think we would in this situation!

We're in a shared cottage and they were all enjoying the "honesty bar" last night... so who knows how bad the sore heads will be when they finally emerge 😳

I feel I can say this here as it's anonymous, but I really really struggle with shared bathroom and loo facilities at the best of times 😳 We all know pregnancy can bring certain challenges for bowels 🙈 I don't know if I'll be able to physically "go" with DH's friends in the next room, but I know I'll feel more sicky and uncomfortable if I don't 🙈 Might wait until later on when everyone starts to gather outside 🙈

@CurbsideProphet my sympathies, that sounds really tough. I cried when the woman in the chemist told me I “don’t look pregnant at all” last week. People lining up to do it sounds horrific! Would “inappropriate things to say to a pregnant woman” bingo help?

FWIW I’m very pleased for you and I’m sorry you’ve been so poorly!

I hope you managed to get some privacy and quiet to go to the bathroom. Hopefully you can go this morning while everyone else is nursing their sore heads!

@The3rdWatermelon why on earth would she think it was ok to say that to you😱😔 I'm not surprised you were upset. That's such an inappropriate comment.
Aw thank you 💐 and I'm sure you definitely do look pregnant!

Apparently the outdoor bar opens at 12pm for pre wedding drinks, so I'm thinking I will wait until they all head out for that 🙈 Worse case scenario they're planning a hangover fry up so when they sit down to it in the dining room I'll use the pretence of having a shower.
I know we're all adults, but I just feel like pooing in earshot of DH's friend is way too much for me 😱😂

@The3rdWatermelon perhaps she thought that was a nice thing to say? Better than 'you look like a hippo' or something, not that it excuses it, if you absolutely have to comment on a pregnant woman's appearance tell them they look well and leave it at that, commenting on size is just rude.

I'm going to a party later I do struggle a bit with everyone else bing drunk! I never realised how tedious drunk people can be, mostly as I was one of them! 😅

28 weeks tomorrow! Still can't quite believe it's happening.

Thank you @GodspeedJune @unCliche @2mumlife

I've also got the midwife's guide to pregnancy, birth and beyond, so good to hear some of you have found it helpful- I'll read that one next. I'm going try to read a few different things to get different perspectives and not just treat one thing as my pregnancy bible. Thanks for the warning about give birth like a feminist @2mumlife . I may consider it later on if I'm feeling brave- I do like to be informed, but not terrified! Not a pregnancy guide, but I've also heard to steer clear of 'this is going to hurt' while you're expecting

@unCliche - sorry to hear you're not sleeping well. I had the same issue in the first few weeks- wasn't sure whether in was down to anxiety, excitement or hormones. It's much better now, although I still wake up very early in the morning and can never drop off again. I did find the first few weeks went slowly, but you've not too long to wait until your scan now and hopefully that will give you some reassurance. The pessaries are such a pain - I did have a panic at one point when I saw a tiny bit of blood around week 8, but soon established it was just a result of the irritation caused by those things

@The3rdWatermelon - really relate to the scanxiety, I hope Monday rolls around quickly for you and everything turns out well- chances of overwhelming in your favour that it will!
Same for you @CurbsideProphet - and I'm sorry you've got a challenging weekend ahead - hopefully the hangovers will shut them all up for a bit. I relate to the bathroom issues totally- sometimes it affects me psychologically so much that I just don't feel the need to go until I'm back home, but if I do, I usually turn the shower on full blast and that has the double benefit of everyone assumes your just showering and it drowns out any other sounds!

@The3rdWatermelon Agree with @caKecakecheese- I think people think it's a compliment to tell women they don't look pregnant or comment on how small the bump is - when you stop and think about it it's messed up on a few different levels, but many people don't stop and think! Somehow you'd think people working in healthcare would be a bit more aware though - sorry that happened

Congratulations on 28 weeks @Cakecakecheese! Is that officially third trimester?

I'm going to a boozy barbecue this afternoon. NOT looking forward to it. Will probably fall asleep whilst everyone else gets drunker and louder!

@Cakecakecheese yes I agree to that, the response should be something like "oh how lovely you're pregnant, and don't you look well with it!" 28 weeks for you, that's amazing 🙂 I love reading posts from those further along as it helps me see that the light really is at the end of the tunnel 🙂

Yes 28 weeks is 3rd trimester according to most things I've read although it can vary.

I don't know if anyone else feels like this but for me IVF means that the whole thing feels more drawn out, like I've been pregnant forever without progressing very far, if that makes sense? Until now! Now it's starting to go a lot more quickly!

@KatRee Luckily I'm an expert at falling asleep, it's the waking up at 3-5am and not being able to get back to sleep straight away that I'm struggling with. It's getting quite frustrating now as I literally wake up exhausted. Silver lining is I'm free from most symptoms (although it's probably still early days.)

@The3rdWatermelon Good luck with tomorrows scan!

@Cakecakecheese I completely agree I feel like I've been pregnant forever. Even though I got pregnant relatively quickly compared to some people going through fertility treatment, it was still almost 6 months between my first appointment at the clinic and a positive pregnancy test. I've now just hit my second trimester but it feels like I've done the 3 trimesters already!

Why don’t you ask her to bring you a cup of tea in bed? I used to love sitting in bed with my mum chatting together in the mornings and I bet normally you’re busy with the younger ones. Could be some nice girl time.

Hello everyone! Looks like I don’t understand how this forum works at all - thought I was replying to a different thread there and now I don’t know how to delete… 😂

Glad to see you’re all doing well still. I think I’m pretty bad for saying inappropriate things to pregnant women. I just told my friend her boobs were looking great, but it’s probably because that’s the bit I’m looking forward to.

At the moment I’ve got a lot of scanxiety too. First one tomorrow (7wk5d). I haven’t had many symptoms since my last update - just some on and off queasiness, constipation, fatigue- but ended up having a seizure last week and that freaked me out. I’m really tempted to talk my doctor into signing me off work because I feel like I just want to totally isolate myself and not leave the house at all. But most of the time I feel totally normal. I’ve booked the next two weeks as annual leave so I can get myself together a bit, as I’m supposed to be starting a new role at work after that. It’s all just a bit much at the moment, even to organize my thoughts coherently on here. Hopefully I’ll hear a heartbeat tomorrow and things will look clearer.

Thanks for the good luck messages!

I’ve just got home from the hospital. I was told everything is looking perfect! We had a little bit of an issue with baby sitting very comfortably in my pelvis and refusing to get out so we could see the bottom of the spine. I had to get up and have a dance around the room to try to shift it! We saw the little face, hands, feet, stomach, bladder, kidneys…
It sounds daft, but it struck me for the first time that it’s actually a person in there. I’m just blown away that this is happening to me after all the waiting and heartbreak, and the dreadful whittling down the numbers from egg collection.

So pleased for you @The3rdWatermelon 🙂

Not daft at all The3rdWatermelon ! Sounds amazing and all the more poignant with what you had to go through to get to this point. So glad it went well for you.

28 week appointment this wednesday. Then another in two weeks, another supposedly at 32 weeks (though no appointment booked for that) and yet another at 34 weeks. Think it might all start going rather fast soon.

Though hopefully not too fast as barely touched what will be baby's room and would like to get that done before too much difficulty getting in and out of loft bed ( will be putting a normal bed in kid's room and co sleeping).

Also getting my iron retested on wednesday. Will we ever get away from the needles?

@CurbsideProphet I'm sorry you've had to deal with other peoples opinions! It seems very variable peoples experiences - I've been really lucky that no one has really has asked about how we conceived, commented on my body shape or suggested 'they know best' about what I'm eating etc etc etc. I think there are ways you can politely say "my baby, my body, my choices" if you have friends/colleagues who are like that, but I think it takes time to develop the wording and confidence to do it!

@KatRee I read "this is going to hurt" pre-pregnancy. Actually, the "give birth like a feminist" book quotes passages from "this is going to hurt" though lol.

@Cakecakecheese Congrats on 28 weeks! Are you having growth scans from now on? My NHS board have booked me in for growth scans from 28 weeks because of it being an IVF pregnancy (I'm just 3 weeks behind you :)!)

@Krakinou Good luck for scan today x

@The3rdWatermelon Congrats of scan! Great to hear everything looking good. It took me until I saw my bump move when fetus kicked to feel like there is actually a being in there lol. Its so weird getting your head around it isn't it!?

@ToCaden Wow loads of appointments for you! We did the base coat of fetus' bedroom at the weekend, but going to do a bit of stencilling next. I'm getting lots of bits from my sister this weekend who had a baby in November though, so need somewhere to put it all!

I'm supposed to be having an in person consultant appointment tomorrow but that's now a phonecall which means my 28 week appointment isn't happening, the lady I spoke to said she was going to get in touch with the community midwives to get them to book me in for one but I've heard nothing yet.

@2mumlife no one has sad anything about growth scans up til now but the lady I spoke to earlier did say something about me getting one at 31 weeks.

Hi all, I've been off MN as the new format has been doing my head in. Lovely to see so many new names and hope everyone else is getting on alright. Holskey, how are you managing?

What are everyone's thoughts on monkeypox? I'm feeling a bit anxious as the news is reporting more community spread and that it can be quite severe in pregnant women (and fatal almost always for the foetus). I'm feeling much more worried about monkeypox than I have about Covid. (I do work in a hospital so have a higher risk of exposure I reckon, but the questions the experts seem to have about transmission and whether the virus has changed from its more predictable behaviours) have me a bit on edge. How are you all feeling about this? xx

@Krakinou - hope the scan went well today and you're feeling a bit more settled? So sorry to hear you had a seizure. The first few weeks can be so overwhelming, I found it so hard to carry on with normal life

@The3rdWatermelon so lovely to hear your scan went well

@Cakecakecheese I feel the same about the pregnancy progressing super slowly due to ivf - and I've been pregnant half the time you have! I definitely feel like I've been pregnant the full 14 weeks, even though obviously you're not actually pregnant for the first two weeks- I feel like I can include it all because I started the cycle 14 weeks ago, if that makes sense in a rambling kind of way? And I was only short protocol, so I know some of you will have begun the treatment even longer before the pregnancy properly began

@unCliche - I definitely had a waking up a 3:30am phase, now it's more like 5:30am. Hope it's gets better for you soon

@ToCaden I can imagine it feels like every thing speeds up as it gets towards the end, after dragging so much in the early stages. I'm sure you'll get everything you need sorted though

@2mumlife Did they explain why you need extra growth scans with it being ivf? Obviously I'm still early days, but when I've asked I've been told there's no extra risk or anything associated with ivf, but I've seen a few time online people mentioning they are having extra monitoring because of being ivf

Someone at work asked me if I conceived by accident and I was so taken aback I just blurted out 'no- it was 3 rounds of ivf!'. I've always thought I'd be open about it if it came up, but this sort of caught me off guard and now I'm wishing I just told her it was an inappropriate question rather than giving her a bit of gossip to spread

Hi @Begoniagal7 hope you're ok. Agree about the new format, can feel quite clunky. I'm not worried about Monkeypox, but I appreciate it's easy for me to say that as I live in Lancashire and WFH, so the likelihood of me coming into contact with it must be absolutely minimal. Has your hospital released any guidance for staff? My DH works for the NHS but isn't on site every day, so he hasn't said whether his trust has put anything on the staff intranet about it.

@Begoniagal7 I had no idea monkeypox was so serious for pregnant women! I must admit, I wasn't particularly worried about it, but I can appreciate you would be given you work in a hospital. Let's hope it doesn't come to much.

My obstetric cholestasis has improved and I'll be having my baby within the next 4 weeks (sooner if it gets worse again). I cannot wait both to meet my daughter but also to not be pregnant anymore. I wish I'd loved it and that it had been everything I dreamed it would be, but every day has been a struggle for one reason or another.

I haven't contributed much to this thread lately but I've been reading all the updates. Nice to see everyone's pregnancies progressing, even with all the anxieties and physical issues that comes with it.

@KatRee I'm very open about my IVF. I never told a soul I was infertile - didn't want the pity/ awkwardness or any of the other negative things that comes with it - but now I'm on IVF baby number two, I tell everyone! I can't imagine asking someone if their pregnancy was accidental though! 😬

@Cakecakecheese Hope you can get a 28 week appointment. I've got a morning at the hospital at 28 weeks as I need to get the GTT, a growth scan and see the consultant. At least its all in one trip. It seems to vary a bit the growth scans I think but I had one automatically booked in for 28 weeks, and then the last time I saw a consultant I think they said it would be 1 every 4 weeks after that unless there were any concerns.

@KatRee So, statistically with a fresh transfer you have a higher chance of a light-for-dates baby, and with a FET you have a higher chance of a heavy-for-dates baby. What they are most concerned about is restricted growth in the third trimester that is more likely with fresh IVF transfers - and my understanding is that is a very commonly accepted phenomenon now. But what they are looking at is 'averages' is all. Its all down to your NHS boards policy really - we had a FET transfer, so actually statistically more likely to have a big baby, but the growth scans to check for restricted growth have still been recommended because they hear the words 'IVF' and have 1 policy regardless of whether it was a fresh or frozen transfer. I'll take the inconvenience to have the extra reassurance :) My NHS board also want to induce at term, again purely because its an IVF pregnancy, as going past 42 weeks has ever so slightly more bad outcomes for IVF compared to 'spontaneous' conception pregnancies, but I've adamantly said no to induction at term unless there is convincing evidence fetus is in distress. I've found medical staff really off actually with their questions - when I've said it was an IVF pregnancy, and they all say "oh, and did you conceive first time?" and I've wanted to punch them slightly for thinking it was that easy.

@Begoniagal7 I hadn't been concerned about monkey pox as, maybe a bit stupidly, I hadn't thought to look into whether it had any effect on pregnancy 😯I'm up in Scotland though and I think we only have 1 confirmed case? and I work from home and live rurally, so I think my risk of coming into contact with someone is probably really low.

@Cakecakecheese We registered with fertility clinic in January 2020, so it was a long time (the 6 month delay when clinic closed for covid obviously made it longer) and a lot of cycles (4 IUIs and 1 IVF fresh transfers and 2 FETs) for us to get pregnant, but I'm really embracing just enjoying being pregnant at the moment - feel like the second trimester is the nice part of pregnancy as anxiety has really reduced and I'm feeling well. I did feel it dragged more in the first trimester when I was nauseous and anxious.

@Holskey Wow can't believe you are so close to the end! How exciting!

I have also been a little quiet on here but reading people's updates and glad everyone is doing well.

Like @Holskey I am struggling with the third trimester of pregnancy. Not feeling great and so big now with my twins combined weight of over 7lb. I now have my c section date if 28th June which is scary though!

@Begoniagal7 Im not too concerned about monkey pox the article I read the other day states the known 20 cases have all been in gay or bisexual men following intercourse. I am not sure how many weeks you are but I was taken off patient contact in my NHS role from 26 weeks so not been seeing patients face to face for over a month now. Is this/will this be the case for you?

@KatRee I have been open to most people about this being an IVF pregnancy but wouldn't appreciate people actually blunting asking!