IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

@Donimo Wow it must feel very real having your c section date! When are you starting maternity leave?

I'm feeling a bit miserable today. Yesterday evening starting getting abdominal pain/pressure and what looked like blood in my urine. Dropped off a urine sample to GP this morning for testing. First dip stick the nurse did came back as positive for blood but not any other proteins? which apparently is a worry so GP called to discuss and make sure I definitely wasn't having vaginal bleeding etc. Second dipstick showed blood and some other proteins so he seems reasonably reassured its a UTI and nothing more sinister, but now need a course of antibiotics, so feeling sorry for myself :(

@2mumlife so sorry for you, I hope the antibiotics sort it out quickly, that is a miserable thing to have, even without the extra anxiety of pregnancy.
I’ve just got over a week’s coughing up my guts with a post-holiday chest infection (queue lots of running to the loo) but the increasingly fidgety baby is providing some reassurance and we reach the 20w milestone next week 🤞with scan the following one
@Donimo that is great news, hopefully the final wait will fly by for you, wishing you all the best 😀

@Mountaingoat31 Thanks lovely. Been round the anxious thoughts about it all being concerned it might be something more than a UTI as I feel normal again already. Really not sure what to think about the bloody urine and abdominal pain. Also trying to be reassured that fetus is moving about, and started the antibiotics. Hope you feel better with the coughing - I’ve been coughing for weeks, kept doing covid tests but all
negative. Best of luck for your scan!

I’m having another panic. I’ve had such a stressful couple of days and now I’m stressing that the stress might hurt the baby!

We we’re going to move house. We had a cash buyer for our flat and an offer accepted on a three bed house with a garden. I had so many plans for the baby. We only had to set a completion date. Out of the blue our buyer decided buying a flat was “too stressful”. The house seller gave us two weeks grace to find a new buyer on Thursday then phoned up this morning to say they’d changed their mind and are putting the house back on the market. We now can’t afford to move and there’ll be two of us working from home in a two bed flat with no outside space.

I went to my parents farm this evening to do my horse jobs as I usually do, hoping to get some fresh air and relax. I found my aunt’s horse colicking. My aunt is away and couldn’t be contacted. We had to call the vet, who said it was one of the worst cases she’s ever seen. We had to make the decision to put her down without speaking to my aunt. I won’t go into detail but it was very very distressing. It wasn’t peaceful.

I feel almost shellshocked. I keep telling myself people have babies in war zones. Having to live in a flat and seeing a dead horse aren’t going to hurt the baby. But it feels like everything else is going wrong, how can things not go wrong with the baby too? I’m counting magpies like a lunatic.

Should I try to speak to my midwife on Monday? Is there anything she can do to reassure me? Or just stop me THINKING all the time?

@The3rdWatermelon I’m so sorry to hear about all of your stressors, those are really massive things! Yes, babies are born in the midst of war and chaos all the time, but that doesn’t mean that your stress or worry are any less valid. The good news is that it won’t hurt the baby at all and is completely normal to have so many different emotions during pregnancy. For us who have gone through infertility, I think it can be especially difficult as we’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop and confirm our fears that something, anything must be wrong. But you’ve had a good 20 weeks scan and you are happy and excited to have this baby and sending your bub lots of love all the time, I am sure, which is all that they need. You absolutely won’t hurt baby by experiencing stress. I wouldn’t worry about ringing the midwife unless you’re feeling contractions, bleeding, or leaking fluid.

You have experienced some massive stressors and I hope you can find some time and space to let yourself grieve and move forwards when you are ready. Sending a big hug if you’d like it. (Also sympathising with the house issue, we are in a tiny two bed flat with a toddler and our moving plans went out the window, so I am worrying daily about the logistics of another person in a flat we’ve already outgrown!)

@The3rdWatermelon I second the above post you are not going to hurt your baby. But remember to look after yourself too. Try to do a few things for yourself to manage your stress too. My blood pressure for the past few weeks was raised but managed to have a lovely day yesterday for just my husband and I (my mum has taken my toddler away for the weekend). And we went for lunch and a spa. When I took my blood pressure when I came home it was really low. Showing me it was just stress that was making it high.

@2mumlife that does sound like a UTI I had exactly the same and even had some red blood upon wiping after a wee on a couple of occasions. But after a day or 2 of antibiotics everything was fine. I am starting may leave on 15th June (2 weeks prior to my c section). But as I only work 3 days per week and we have the bank hols next week I only have 4.5 days left at work! 😀

@The3rdWatermelon you poor thing 💐 even without being pregnant the situation with your aunt's horse and your move falling through would make you feel stressed and upset.

People can think that once you're pregnant through IVF then that's it, you've nothing to worry about. But every day can be full of different worries and feel like a mountain to climb. I have the affirmation cards from Cat Strawbridge "finally pregnant" and one of the cards says "I treat myself with compassion on the days I find pregnancy hard". I look at this one often.

I still have monthly appointments with my IVF counsellor as I need someone to (kindly) remind me on a regular basis that just because the worry part of my brain starts imagining scenarios it does not mean that they will come true. I do not have the ability to make terrible things happen just because I worry about them.

Do you find you midwife approachable / easy to talk to? I see mine every Thursday at the calm and quiet stand alone birth centre (even though I'm actually under Consultant care at the main hospital) to listen to baby's heartbeat as I need this calm, regular reassurance to help me function. Would your midwife be able to arrange something similar to help you through? I record the heartbeat and listen to it when I can't sleep as it helps ground me in the knowledge that the baby and I are ok. My midwife said she would rather see me every single Thursday for my entire pregnancy, if that's what I need to stop me feeling miserable and anxious.

Don't suffer in silence with your worry. I'm sure your midwife would rather you tell her you're under a lot of stress right now and need some extra support 💐💐

@2mumlife I had bright pink wee at 5.5 weeks (terrifying) which was normal when dipped at my GP surgery, but when it was properly tested in the lab it showed definite infection. I was told that I must remind the midwives at every appointment for the rest of my pregnancy that my wee is to be send for testing and not just dipped, as some infections don't show up clearly enough on the dipsticks. Just letting you know that as communication between GP and Midwife service is poor where I live, so I have to make sure I'm the go between!

@2mumlife just wanted to add that UTIs are very common in pregnancy: the ureters dilate and become longer and so you're more prone to infection. That's why your urine is checked (in addition to looking for diabetes and pre-e) because we treat infections even if you're not having symptoms (though it sounds like you were!) Antibiotics you'll be prescribed are very safe and untreated UTIs can lead to kidney infections and preterm birth so that's why there is a lower threshold for treatment.

Hope you are feeling better soon xx

@The3rdWatermelon I'm sorry about your aunts horse. And house buying is an absolute nightmare - we moved just a few weeks before lockdown started, and SO grateful we did, the housing market at the moment seems insane. I think we ALL get stressed sometimes, so I would try not to add to your stress by worrying about impact on pregnancy. Can you take some intentional steps to do something de-stressing? Whatever works for you.

@Donimo Ah that's good to know. All my UTI type symptoms went before I even started the antibiotics, but oh well. Trying not to read too much into it. That's exciting you're nearly done with work! Do you have plans for the 2 weeks before c-section or just going to try to relax?

@CurbsideProphet Thank you that's interesting to know, as I highly doubt my GP has communicated to midwife to be honest. GP hasn't arranged to test my urine after I finish antibiotics, but I have a midwife appointment 2 weeks later so was going to use the urine test then to get the all clear but I'll make sure I mention to them myself about being on antibiotics and see if I can get it properly tested.

@Begoniagal7 I've no problem taking the antibiotics etc. my worry was more that they only detected blood but not other proteins on the first dip stick and nurse was worried it was something more serious, so had to have a chat with GP to confirm the blood was definitely in my urine at not vaginal/rectal and he was asking questions about position of placenta as well. In the end he said they'd treat it as if a UTI, but just got me a bit worried it was something else going on, especially when all my symptoms stopped after 1 day and before being on antibiotics :/

My first actual ivf related appointment (growth scan) next week! Been pretty normal pregnancy appointments apart from a placenta placement issue so far.

29 weeks and so exhausted. Working today and feel like i'm sleepwalking.

@2mumlife my wee is sent to the lab every 4 weeks as a precaution because as well as the UTI not being picked up on a dipstick, I didn't have any of the usual signs / symptoms apart from pink wee on the day I saw my GP. I would make sure to tell your midwife, as mine was v clear that if you have a UTI in pregnancy the protocol is to send a sample to the lab every 4 weeks to be on the safe side.

@ToCaden I'm only 20 weeks and have felt knackered all of the way through. I keep hearing of this burst of energy that I should suddenly feel, but is it just lies?! Hope you're able to have a proper lunch break and have a rest for a bit.

Had my 20 week scan this morning and everything looked perfect with our baby boy 🙂 I was absolutely terrified again. Scans just seem to be my trigger. It was done by a specialist midwife instead of a sonographer and it was good really as we had a chat about my anterior placenta (typical that someone with my anxiety will feel definite movements a bit later!) and things like that.

@CurbsideProphet glad everything is going well. I completely understand about scans being a trigger. I had a missed miscarriage that was found via a scan and that 'it's bad news' moment never leaves despite everything going so well this time.

I also know the anterior placenta anxiety! It didn't help that my SIL who is due around the same time was saying her baby was all about the kicking and I was feeling nothing. I finally started feeling something at 23 weeks. I'm 29 weeks now and I'm knackered as last night he was moving around so much I thought he was trying to escape!

I've had periods where i had more energy than before, but nothing i would say was a burst of energy. Though i did get an itch in second trimester where i felt this maddening urge to sort the house, even if i didn't always have the energy to do so.

I would describe the whole of pregnancy having fluctuating energy from normal levels to zero, with some periods with lower or higher overall energy, but always at least some points of very low energy.

I get the scanxiety. After dating scan i thought it would be over, but no. I'm all fine up until a couple days before scan then suddenly i'm convinced for no reason something will be wrong at scan.

@ToCaden oh yes I have the desire to reorganise and decorate the whole house 😂 early nesting I call it!

@ToCaden Good luck for growth scan! My first one is in 2 weeks :) Will be good to see fetus again as been awhile! I've started feeling a lot more tired now too at 26 weeks, feel like I'm starting to need to slow down a bit.

@CurbsideProphet Thanks for the info, really useful to know and will push for my next sample to go to lab. Congratulations on the 20 week scan! I think tiredness levels really vary - I was lucky that I got back some of my energy during second trimester. I also want to sort the whole house but don't have the sustained energy for it.

Hi All!
I am currently 8 weeks and just been discharged from our IVF clinic. The clinic said we needed to contact the GP.
I called the GP and I am booked for an appointment with the doctor next week.

Is it normal to see a GP when you have a confirmed pregnancy? I thought I would just go straight to midwife?

Thanks very much!

Congratulations @Jazz234 💐
It will depend on how your local NHS Trust runs maternity services. In my area there is a form on the hospital website to self refer to maternity services. You don't get referred by your GP. It would probably be worth checking the hospital website to see if there is any guidance about referral to maternity services. In my area we have to self refer ASAP (ideally before 7 weeks) to get all of the appointments booked in at the right time.

Congratulations @Jazz234! I never had a GP appointment and don't know of anyone else who did, but these things vary lots by area so maybe it's normal where you are. Unless there's medication or other conditions to consider?

Congratulations @Jazz234! I never had a GP appointment and don't know of anyone else who did, but these things vary lots by area so maybe it's normal where you are. Unless there's medication or other conditions to consider?

Congratulations @Jazz234 ! I’m in Spain so probably different here, but my clinic referred me to a maternity hospital at 8 wks. I asked them to refer me to a hospital closer to my home and the midwife told me I would have to go to the GP to ask. I think it’s a bit of a shock to go from the constant IVF attention, tests and steps to actually being pregnant and suddenly all the doctors are acting like it’s no big deal and you should just be able to work it out.

@CurbsideProphet I find it really shocking that women have to self refer in your area. I’d expect such an important and common health issue like pregnancy to be totally seamless. Good job we have forums like mumsnet to come to for help. Glad your scan went well. It’s great that your midwife sees you every week too.

@The3rdWatermelon how are you feeling now? That sounds like an incredibly stressful and upsetting week. I’m sure the baby is fine but I hope you are too.

I finally had my 8 week scan last week and heard the heartbeat! I was so relieved. I feel like I can relax a bit more now, though 3 more weeks till my 12wk scan feels like a lifetime. I’ve taken 2 weeks annual leave and using it mainly to nap with the cats and eat cereal. And I found out my older sister is just about to do a FET so keeping my fingers crossed that it’ll work for her too - that would make my mum’s year :)

Thank you all, very useful!
I will be 9 weeks at that point and can imagine the appointment being 'oh you're pregnant...please self refer ...blah blah' and i would have wasted a week lol.
I will look at my local hospital :) xx

@Krakinou so pleased for you that you've had your early scan and heard your baby's heartbeat 🙂
Tbh I was quite happy to self refer, as I live in a semi rural area with a GP practice that is really trying its best but is very much in demand. At least by self referring to maternity at 6 weeks I knew it had definitely been done and I actually had my booking appointment at 8.5 weeks which is really early compared to some!