IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

I'm 26 weeks so it's not long til 3rd trimester. Things had been going slowly for most of the pregnancy, I think because of all the procedures, the 2ww etc we can sometimes feel pregnant for longer than a natural conception, but it's starting to speed up now!

Thank you @LemonyT, @Holskey, @2mumlife & @GodspeedJune for the welcome! I'm definitely looking forward to feeling something - anything 😅

@2mumlife Yes, I'll be having beta bloods on Wednesday (9dp5dt) and a scan at 6 weeks. I'm just testing daily to make sure it's still in there and then once the numbers have been confirmed, I'll probably stop testing and just hope for the best! Sorry to hear you had a bit of a rough ride getting to where you are now, it really does feel like all the joy has been sucked out of what should be a beautiful journey. The only surprise I have left to give myself is finding out the baby's sex at birth. But what a cute little experience you had today, it must feel so surreal watching your body change, and it sounds like things are progressing wonderfully for you 💕

@GodspeedJune Aw I'm guessing the denial doesn't really go away? I'm sorry you feel the way you do. You're 100% entitled to your feelings and I don't think you should feel bad about it 😊

@GodspeedJune 17+1 over here and still touching wood, using “if everything goes as planned” instead of being able to say “when…” (can’t even type it!), and struggling to believe it’s real!

Thank you unCliche and I’m glad you haven’t got long to wait until the beta bloods. Our clinic didn’t do bloods so it felt like an age until the first scan.

The3rdWatermelon It’s a tough mindset to get out of isn’t it? Reassured I’m not alone though! We’re going to have the shock of our lives if we haven’t come to terms with it before the babies arrive

Hi all - just catching up after a break whilst we were on holiday and slowly getting back into the swing of things back in the real world

Congratulations and welcome @tigger2022
@The3rdWatermelon @Krakinou @unCliche

I'm sorry so many are having a hard time with sickness, pains and worries. I keep hearing about this mystical time in the 2nd trimester when the nausea and fatigue supposedly goes away and we feel wonderful, but doesn't seem to match up with many women's experience, so I won't hold my breath!
Really sorry you're still feeling so unwell with the sickness @CurbsideProphet , but glad you are getting good care now and hope they can do something to help
@LemonyT I'm sorry you're dealing with this concern about baby's growth and all the extra monitoring, but good you are being looked after- I hope it's going ok

I've had my 12 week scan today at bang on 12 weeks. She had to do it transvaginally as apparently I had so much gas in my bowls it was obscuring the view the other way ! I suddenly started to feel like I was looking very pregnant at 10 weeks something and think it is mainly down to bloating and gas and I'm wondering (hoping) whether it might be to do with all the progesterone as I'm still on cyclogest, but should be producing lots of progesterone naturally via the placenta by now I think? So hoping it's a side effect and I will magically slim down when I come off it (last day tomorrow). Did anyone else experience lots of bloating at this stage and if so, did coming off progesterone help?
Sorry, I know that's a very minor concern compared to lots of people!

Other than the gas, the scan went well and on a bit of a high we told our parents the news tonight, Now of course I'm worrying that we should have waited until the blood test results come back - it's always the same for me with scans- initial relief and elation and then hours later brain finds something to worry about!

@GodspeedJune Sorry to hear you’re still spotting. I kept saying the “all being well” and “if it works out”. I found after 16 weeks I started to relax, and since 29 week scan all clear I’ve ready relaxed. It’s super weird seeing your body change - you’re allowed to find it weird! I saw fetus move through my skin today, and it was the weirdest thing. Brought it very much to home that there is a being inside of me and it’s such a weird thought!

@unCliche We’re doing same as you and waiting to find out the sex at the birth to claw back some of that surprise factor. It’s very odd seeing your body change when you can’t quite believe it’s real. Keeping everything crossed lines stay strong and positive beta and viability scan - everything sounds really promising so far for you :)

@KatRee Congratulations on the 12 week scan! I didn’t really get bloated to be honest, but I know lots of women say they do in the first trimester anyway and with being on progesterone it could be even worse I’m guessing. If it makes you feel better, I’m genuinely feeling good in the second trimester - I’m still have heartburn at points but even that’s getting better (and really only is bad if I eat something triggering), but otherwise I’m at the gym, going hiking, not in pain (other than a bit of lower back ache on occasion) and basically can’t really complain. Even the anxiety has been much better knowing things are progressing normally. Definitely enjoying the second trimester, hoping it lasts for as long as possible!

@GodspeedJune Sorry that should have said 20 week scan not 29 weeks!

@2mumlife Thank you! Today's hCG results at 9dp5dt is 176.
All I hope is that my body bounces back after pregnancy 🙈 When did you start properly showing?

@KatRee Haha oh dear, I'd hoped the days of transvaginal scans were over, with the amount of poking and prodding we've had to deal with 😂 But glad you were able to see your baby and congrats on 12 weeks! Also, your parents must be chuffed!

Its lovely reading all your updates. I keep trying to reply and not being able to remember usernames so giving up. Im just going to try and see how it goes.

@unCliche Congrats! Im not much further than you and its been a mad 2 weeks. The first week felt so weird, I felt like I was on drugs, so I guess I felt really disconnected from my body. But everything got easier for me after my second beta and Im finally able to concentrate at work again. But I think it probably takes a lot of women while to feel like its real. Most women just dont have to be so aware of it for sooo long - those first 2 weeks were worse than the 2ww.

@CurbsideProphet Ive just started feeling a bit sick on and off today - not pleasant. Cant imagine how youve stayed so strong till now. Youre obviously gonna be a tough mum! :D I hope you feel better soon.

@LemonyT that must be really stressful. I hope you are getting lots of rest and able to take your mind off it. I was speaking with a friend this weekend who did IVF and the same happened with one of her twins at 24 weeks, and she said it was so worrying. But I met her little girl for the first time since the pandemic and shes beautiful and smart and thoughtful. Im sure your baby will be just as perfect. And thanks for your advice - it was helpful :) I started just telling people "Im pregnant!" without a disclaimer and thats made me feel more positive and like its really happening. My second beta had gone up exactly as expected and now Im just waiting for a first scan at 9 weeks. Till then I figure Ive got just as much chance as everyone else.

@2mumlife how weird that they wont let you listen to the heartbeat or know the sex. Whats with the secrecy - its your body and baby! Does your area have a lot of sex specific abortions or something? I suppose its a good way to keep the surprise though. Was it you whos reading "Give Birth Like a Feminist" by the way? What kind of things does it talk about? I know Milli Hill but only in relation to the gender bollocks.

@GodspeedJune dont feel ungrateful! Weve all been in that situation of feeling jealous of pregnant women, Im sure, but Id never have wanted them to feel some kind of survivors guilt - jealousy is a personal thing, just dealing with your own emotions, but it doesnt mean you dont want the best for others. Of course you should be able to feel a bit sorry for yourself. And becoming a parent, changing body etc is just as big a challenge for us as any other pregnant woman - we just have the added burden of IVF trauma. Do you think youll feel better about your body when it looks more obviously pregnant? 15 wks is early still to see a prominent bump, right?

@Begoniagal7 @Donimo @The3rdWatermelon @Holskey thanks for the congratulations! and I hope everything is going well for you all. x

Personally (6 weeks today!) I feel really happy but physically a bit rubbish - totally knackered, bloated, on and off light cramps since my first pee stick, a bit of nausea and headachy, and some mood swings. Oh and insomnia - I wake up a few times a night with panic attacks. But my boyfriend is being so lovely and looking after me, and I havent had any real sickness yet. Im a bit worried because Im epileptic and my epilepsy wasnt well controlled during the treatment. I had to change meds to some less effective ones before starting IUI - thats why the process was so long. If pregnancy makes it worse I will just go on unpaid leave until I can get the doctor to sign me off properly. We can take 1 month unpaid a year at my company and Ive got some holiday saved up.

And @KatRee ... thank you! :) About the bloating, ufff, its waking me up at night and I already cant do up my trousers. I am doing pretty well in farting competitions with the boyfriend though so thats a bonus. I hope coming off the progesterone helps you. That stuff is gross.

2mumlife Thank you. I’ve got the 20 week scan in about 4 weeks, and we were thinking of a private one in the meantime. Looking forward to feeling more relaxed, and I think you’re right about the 20 week scan being a good point for that. With the perk of it being halfway, too! Oh how exciting that you saw movement!
Although can totally imagine it feeling bizarre too!

KatRee The progesterone bloat is horrid 🙈 I saw a small improvement when I stopped taking it but had mostly replaced it with a food belly by that point 🤣 Just not having to deal with the pessary was a huge relief though!

Krakinou Congratulations and I’m glad you have a supportive boyfriend to look after you when things are tough. Definitely take whatever leave you need to keep yourself well, and remember you can’t be penalised for pregnancy related leave.

Thank you - ironically I do have a little bump already but I think that’s bloat from constant snacking between 8-12 weeks-ish. I felt sick all the time unless I was eating. I’m already a stone heavier than before pregnancy 😱 so finding that hard to see. Going to try to cut back and do more exercise now the sickness has passed.

@unCliche Great hcg level :D how exicting! So this is my first pregnancy (other than CP) and I it took to around 18 weeks until (as my father put it) "people who look at you and think you might be pregnant". I'm 5'6 and I seemed to properly expand around 21 weeks (where there is actually a fetal growth spurt). I still alternate between thinking I don't look that big, and other days thinking "feck I'm huge" but I think it varies a lot depending on fetal positioning, what clothes you're wearing etc. Midwife measured my fundal height though today and apparently I'm measuring right on track.

@Krakinou Finally got to listen to the heartbeat today at 23 weeks :) Wasn't that clear as she said my cord must have been lying really close so mostly could hear blood whoosing rather than the actual heartbeat. And fetus gave the doppler a good kick at one point lol. I doubt my area has a particularly issue with sex-specific abortions. Apparently its to emphasise that the point of the 20 week scan is a medical anomaly check, not to tell you the sex, and because they can't always see / garauntee they're accurate? I think the lack of hearing the heartbeat is because I've been seeing the consultant and not the midwife up until now, so today was my first actual in-person midwife appointment. It is me reading the 'Give birth like a feminist' book. I've not delved in that much too it, as took some fiction reading on holiday last week instead! I would say its certainly NOT something to read if you're already anxious, as there is lots of annecdotes about negative experiences. Its also very much got a personal agenda. I think if you read it from the perspective more of building up confidence to self-advocate then its an interesting read, but I could see how others would find it too distressing or too biased (particularly if you a stronger feminist standpoint). I'd say do what I did and lend from a library rather than buy it. p.s. my fartings pretty bad at the moment too lol

@GodspeedJune I wee private scan sounds like a nice idea - my NHS scan photos are both a bit rubbish (and we only get a single image as 12 and 20 week scans) so I kind of wish I had some nicer private scan images, though I couldn't justify it when I was getting the additional cervix checks at the hospital too. I think I would have needed the reassurance of a private check between 12 and 20 weeks otherwise too. There is a handy weight calculator I've been looking at on occasion, as at first I was worried I wasn't putting on any weight at all, and then when I did start to expand I was worried it was too much! So I've found this handy for reassurance: www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html

I've had one of those days where my brain just isn't working. I got my final cervix check today (all fine) and actual midwife appointment to get fundal height and FINALLY hear heartbeat which was all normal. I was meant to ask for my Mat1b form today and ask about antenatal classes though, and totally forgot when I was there. Phoned my local midwife team though after and basically confirmed I've been totally missed off the list for a few things due to seeing consultant up until now, but they've had to make me another actual appointment to go back in, but its not for another 2 weeks, to pick up the Mat1b and sort out getting the scottish baby box and I think a few other bits of info I was meant to have got by now but missed. They've also added my email address to the list for the next communication about antenatal classes, so getting back on track. To add to my brain-fug day, after all that I turned up 30mins late for my dental appointment because I had the wrong time in my diary, and had to re-arrange that too. On a day when I've been busy with work and really could have done without the drive to the dentist and back for no reason. So I went a bought myself a 2 pack of Gü Zillionaire chocolate & salted caramel cheesecake pots for later to make myself feel better!

Glad you got to hear baby’s heartbeat 2mumlife I think it’s quite common for it to be a bit tricky to find, or for the cord to be picked up too. I’m tempted to use a private scan company who do video too, it’s mesmerising watching the movement on screen and would love to share with our families. Thanks for the calculator - it looks handy.

Enjoy the GU desserts - they sound amazing!

@2mumlife those GU desserts sound amazing 😍 so glad for you that you've had your final cervix check 🙂 and heard baby's heartbeat for the first time ❤️
Thank you for that honest review of How To Give Birth Like A Feminist. It sounds like it would be best if I leave that and maybe look at Milli Hill's other book "The Positive Birth Book". I don't need anything else to make me anxious 🙈

Thinking of those of you waiting for early scans and 12 week scans 💐

I've had good talks with my midwife and IVF counsellor this week.

My IVF counsellor pointed out that going through IVF can make you feel incredibly vulnerable (especially if you're at a clinic like ours where a lot of the nurses have no empathy or warmth). Once I got into the maternity system I felt vulnerable all over again seeing different staff / the chaotic nature of the service, so it's no wonder I've found it difficult to feel secure in pregnancy.

My midwife also said that at this stage (17 weeks 3 days) I'm completely reliant on external reassurance (ie her listening to the heartbeat) as it's too early for me to feel baby kicking etc, so she thinks I need to treat my anxiety as very normal. She's quite hopeful for me that once I'm passed 20 weeks and feel baby moving regularly I might settle into things a bit more.

Thank you @Krakinou 💐 that's really kind of you to say so 💐 I have epilepsy too and it is an extra worry. I'm very lucky that mine has been fully controlled for a long time and I'm being closely monitored to make sure that stays the case. Do you have good support from your neurology team? I have a specialist nurse who is expert in epilepsy and pregnancy who I'm unbelievably grateful for.
My sleep has also been rubbish for ages. I really recommend the Headspace app. I pay £70 ish for 12 months access. I listen to Sleepcasts every single night to help me drop off and I press play again every time I wake up in the night. I find they're good at stopping my mind from whirling round, as some of the Sleepcasts are so familiar to me it's just like someone reading a nice calm bedtime story!

@CurbsideProphet I hope you’re feeling a little better and more relaxed. I’m at just about the exact same stage as you (17+5) and having similar sleep issues. The other night I was awake for hours until I convinced myself I’m an impostor at my job and this will be discovered when I go on maternity leave at which point I will be fired. Then I cried until I hyperventilated. Then I panicked I was hurting the baby and couldn’t breathe at all. So my husband was woken by a snotty gasping mess at 4am, which I’m sure was great fun for him too!

Thank you for posting your midwife’s wise words. I’m still idiotically googling symptoms… and then if I get some relief from the ligament pulling and hip pain for more than 30 seconds I start googling ‘loss of symptoms’!

I have thought I might have felt something moving a couple of times, just a little flicker, like a goldfish in my stomach, but I’m never quite sure if it’s just wishful thinking.

Thanks for the sleepspace recommendation @CurbsideProphet , I will check it out. And yes, I just phoned the epilepsy nurse today and she’s great. She’s booking me in for regular blood tests and will see if she can get me extra scans. I’m really lucky - my IVF unit is in a hospital with a neurologist specializing in pregnancy and epilepsy :)

@The3rdWatermelon I shouldn’t laugh but you’ve a way with words 😂 I hope you’ll feel baby moving lots soon. I read it’s around 18 weeks. That must be amazing.

@The3rdWatermelon oh yes I forgot we're within days of each other! I'm sorry you're having the middle of the night worries. At 3am it's near impossible to find perspective. I follow a British therapist called "lookingaftermum" on Instagram and she posts a lot about managing anxiety in pregnancy. She also did a Q&A on the Tommy's Pregnancy Hub which is worth having a look at.

I'm exceptionally lucky to have this midwife. Every Thursday she lets me listens to the heartbeat and record it on my phone. She's so kind and completely non judgemental about my anxiety. I don't know about you but when people say "oh stop worrying I'm sure everything is fine" it does not help me at all!

Oh god yes the hip and ligament pains 😬 Really freaked me out at first!

I've been off sick for so long now I'll be surprised if my colleagues remember who I am 😳 I don't think my brain is able to worry about anything else and has left work in the overspill tray!

@Krakinou that's so great it's all in one hospital, must make things so much easier. I'm under a neurology hospital 30 ish miles away so I've been having to sort out coordinating extra blood tests myself to check my medication levels are ok while I wait to see the Obstetrician at 20 weeks. Hoping then she will take control of all that for me!

@CurbsideProphet Let me know if you get the positive birth book what you think :) I'm just making my way through what I can get from the library lol but its a fun way of dipping in and out of different things :) I got quite anxious waiting to feel the first movement (I wasn't convinced I was feeling fetus move until 19/20 weeks), and then early movements quite anxiety provoking because for the first couple of weeks I felt movement some days and not others, but now they're there reliably every day I do find it reassuring (if a bit creepy seeing stomach move now). I loved the Mindful IVF app for the fertility journey and 1st trimester - I still recite the mantra "you're doing the best that you can with the tools that you have" to myself on occasion.

@GodspeedJune Its absolutely fascinating watching them move on scan screen isn't it? Makes it more real for rest of the family too.

So, I think I'm officially in the second trimester now. Nausea is marginally better, tiredness quite a lot better, bloating still baaad, even after coming off the progesterone (loving not having the hassle of pessaries any longer!) I've started telling people at work and some have said they did wonder as the bloating makes me look like I have a bump already! (Actually in May also be the constant snacking- like you @GodspeedJune , I have felt like the nausea is worse when I don't eat for a while and I seemed to have an aversion to any snack that wasn't potato based!)

Feel a bit funny telling so many people already, but I like being able to talk openly and I felt like the pregnancy is such a big thing in my life I was starting to feel uncomfortable skirting around it all the time.

@unCliche and @krakinou -I hope everything's continuing to progress well for you both?

@2mumlife - great you finally got to hear the heartbeat 💓 and also that everything is fine and done with the cervix checking

@CurbsideProphet - glad you've got a supportive midwife and access to counselling to help with your anxiety. I hope it does ease off as you go along.
I'm finding mine a lot better now I've passed the 12 week scan, even though I know we still have a long way to go. I have a bit of a history of anxiety and depression and at my booking in appt, midwife said she would refer me to some mental health support team, but not heard anything from them yet.

I'm sorry you're going through it too @The3rdWatermelon. For some reason I always find it's work-related worries that keep me up at night, and then when I'm supposed to thinking about work, I'm obsessively googling potential problems with the pregnancy

I love hearing book recommendations- I tend to deal with anything big in life by reading about it! I've got a book called The Day by Day pregnancy book, which does what it says- talks you through babies development and what you might be experiencing at that stage of the pregnancy day by day. I find it quite reassuring to track my progress by reading a bit everyday. Some of it feels a bit dated and grates on me a bit, but maybe that's just me. And I'm also reading Expecting Better, which is really interesting. It's by an economist who has used her skills with interpreting stats to examine the evidence around all sorts of things connected to pregnancy, like the accuracy of prenatal tests and the actual risks of eating certain 'banned' foods or having the odd glass of wine. I'm also finding that one a reassuring read in most respects

Hope you're all doing well x

Congratulations on hitting the 2nd trimester KatRee it’s a great milestone! Great to catch a break from some of the nausea and tiredness.

Expecting better sounds interesting, I might have a look at that one. I’m listening to the modern midwife’s guide to pregnancy, birth and beyond. Same as you, finding some bits helpful and taking some with a pinch of salt.

Hi@KatRee Things are progressing well, I suppose. I've been sleeping terribly so completely knackered everyday but I'm 5+1 today so things are moving, albeit slowly! I have my early scan at 6+6 on 31st May, so that's at least something to look forward to.

Congrats on making it to the second trimester! I'm jealous you're done with your pessaries! I chose to switch from utrogestan to cyclogest so I could take it up the bum just to make it that little bit more bearable 😝 Oh both books sound interesting, I love knowing what's happening at every single stage quantitively and qualitatively. I had to create a whole spreadsheet during my IVF cycle so I could have data to analyse 😁

@KatRee Congrats on making it to the second trimester and so great to hear both physical symptoms and anxiety is really starting to reduce :) I've been working my way through the pregnancy section of the library lol Expecting Better is on my list but not got to it yet. I liked pregnancy, birth and beyond. Currently on "How to give birth like a feminst" which I would say isn't good for those who are anxious, and its definitely one of the more biased things I've read.

@unCliche Try doing some mindfulness before bed, might help :)