IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

Hi everyone, I'm new to this thread!

I'm 5wks+2 after an FET, and I am feeling desperately anxious. I've had spotting almost every day, which makes me feel like it's all over every time it happens.

This is my third round of IVF and only success so far, and I just don't know how to cope with the anxiety of it! I have a scan booked in for next Thursday. But I can't bring myself to believe I'm going to get there.

This is terrible, but I have this feeling where I just want it to end now - because I feel like it's so inevitable - and then I can get on with grieving like I'm used to. Does that sound insane?

Any advice would be so gratefully received.

Sorry you have GD too @JAR1981. I'm not sure how well-informed you are but take a look at the diet section of www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk/ especially food pairings. It is much better advice than you typically get from the NHS and makes eating so much easier and less restrictive.

@2mumlife Aw it definitely could be at that gestation. I was past 20 weeks when I felt movement in my first pregnancy. I cried! It is a better stage of pregnancy and definitely something to look forward to (until later on when they kick you in the cervix or ribs! 😂).

@SingingGirl82 welcome to the group! Many ladies here have had some spotting and even a fair bit of bleeding and everything has turned out okay, but it's completely understandable that it's putting you through hell. I have no advice for getting over the anxiety; I found I just went through it and survived it. It's just a horrible wait. I can see why at times you wish it would end already when you believe it's inevitable, and I don't think that's terrible at all. I hope the spotting stops soon and lessens your anxiety 💐

@Holskey thank you so much, and thank you for the welcome.
It really helps to hear that spotting and even bleeding is normal and even common. Seems like a very cruel symptom to have to deal with! And yeah, getting through the wait does seem like the only way.

@Holskey I almost can't imagine actually feeling movement. I think I'm now so self-protective that it'd going to take a thump in the ribs for me to be like 'ok, that is movement' lol

@SingingGirl82 Everything you're feeling is completely normal - its just all your self-protective instincts kicking in. It took me until a scan at 16 weeks to begin to believe it might actually work this time. As Holskey said, bleeding is such a common symptom, particularly if you're not experiencing any pain. If you're concerned though do speak to your fertility clinic for some reassurance. Keeping everything crossed for a positive scan for you next week

@SingingGirl82 welcome and cautious congrats! The wait between BFP and first scan are excruciating. As others have said, spotting is very common (esp in IVF pregnancies) so it can’t be taken as too much of a sign. The only things that helped me were trying to keep busy (work, tidying, Netflix binge) and doing some guided meditation podcast things I found on YouTube. There were some fertility/infertility ones that I just found calming and at least made me put my mind in a bit more slow and calm place whilst listening. And chatting with the lovely ladies here, too. But honestly I was a nervous wreck for much of the early first tri.

@2mumlife that could definitely be the baby at that gestation. The top of the womb should be right below your navel at 19 weeks and not unusual to start feeling larger body parts, I’d guess that was baby’s back you felt? Is your placenta anterior? If so , that can make picking up movements a bit more difficult.

@Holskey how’s your itching?

Sorry to hear about the other GD going around, rubbish to miss out on hit cross buns and wedding cake. Pregnancy is so hard!

I’m happy to report I had my NIPT results in, all low risk so feeling massively relieved and will start to tell more people. I reckon some people have suspected it but will be nice to not have to hide it anymore.

Wishing you all a lovely bank hol weekend x

Hi all, thought I'd pop in and update you all as not been very active on here but its nice to see so many of you progressing despite the hardships that pregnancy brings.

So sorry to hear mrsC of your heartbreak and hope you find some answers soon.

@Holskey and @JAR1981 and others who have GD I can totally relate. I had it with my first pregnancy and can clearly remember it sucking all the fun out of pregnancy especially with the constant pricking of fingers and monitoring everything I ate. The midwife said I would most likely have it again this time around, I have my test next week and am completely dreading it.

@SingingGirl82 I also had bleeding in this pregnancy which is my second FET. It started at 6.5 weeks and was just spotting upon wiping. I went to my ivf clinic who said couldn't find any reason for the bleeding and said it was just one of those things which didn't help. I then had it again the following week and the week after and again was told by them there was no reason for the bleeding. At 10 weeks it was a little worse and was a flow rather than just when wiping so I got even more worried and went to the epu. They then found a subchorionic bag and said that was the cause. I continued to spot and then had a larger red bleed at 14 weeks. When I went back to the epu at that point they said it had gone and I've not had any bleeding since. It was so stressful at the time as I also had covid, sinusitis and a awful stomach bug all within weeks of each other so I was convinced something had happened and was absolutely amazed every time they said it was ok. I have since read a lot of stories online of women who have had it a lot worse and got through the other end so it doesn't always mean the end. I would consult with your clinic and go from there.

I am now 23 weeks and still wonder when something may happen, unfortunately this is pregnancy after loss. It's a trauma but an absolute blessing at the same time. I've learned to just take each day as it comes and pray for the best.

@SingingGirl82 I'm 13 + 3 now. I had brown spotting from the day of my FET until 8 ish weeks and a bleed at just under 6 weeks. I will admit I was an absolute wreck before my 7.5 week scan. And then before my 10 week scan. And again for the 12 week scan.

I think it's very normal to feel scared. I would recommend an app called Mindful IVF. His voice is very relaxing and there is a section for first trimester. I found it helped to listen every day and know for those 10 minutes I was listening to a nice calm and reassuring voice.

On YouTube there is a woman called Bettina Rae who has meditation and yoga videos relating to IVF and anxiety / pregnancy. She's Australian and has a nice calm manner.

I've carried on having appointments with my IVF counsellor and one thing she so reminds of is that just because I think terrible things could happen it doesn't mean they will happen. She also recommends trying to do things like look out of the window at the blue sky / flowers starting to bloom / birds pecking in the grass to ground myself in the here and now, to get out of the worry mindset even just for 5 minutes.

Hopefully that helps a bit 💐

@Begoniagal7 Great to hear NIPT came back low risk - enjoy starting to tell people! From what you've said about positioning it's definitely possible it's bits of fetus sticking out. I'm tentatively optimistic that I've started to feel some movements, but it's not like "bubbles" or "flutters" I've heard others describe. Yesterday I felt what I would describe as something flipping (just the once, right below navel). Feels to me more like having a very brief kind of muscle spasm but not in a muscle? I thought I'd be so excited at movement but I'm actually finding it so hard to know if that's what it actually is or not, that there isn't really any excitement more.... cautious curiosity? I've no idea where my placenta is as no one has ever said at any of my scans, but will try to ask at 20 week scan. Weighed myself again the other day for first time in awhile, and I'm still not actually putting on any weight - is that normal? I seem to be eating plenty!

@2mumlife the position if your placenta is very likely to be recorded on the notes from your 12 week scan. I didn't feel any pops or bubbles with my first because I had an anterior placenta. I remember very clearly the first kick I felt because it was so obvious. Having an anterior placenta meant I didn't feel the more subtle movements that came before the strong kicks. The flipping you describe sounds like baby movements, but no doubt you'll get an unambiguous kick soon!

@Begoniagal7 the itching can be awful, but I actually think mine isn't as severe as some others so I shouldn't grumble. Congratulations on you NIPT results! Must be very reassuring 😊

@Hufflepuff1 fingers crossed the GD stays away for you. I had it in my first pregnancy too but not until past 33 weeks, and as I had my baby at 35 weeks, it wasn't too much hassle at all! It's different when you've got a while to put up with it.

Some lovely tips @CurbsideProphet 😊

@Holskey Don't have anything recorded from 12 week scan other than confirming there was 1 fetus and the NT measurement. Don't even actually have the crown-to-rump length recorded or anything, and then never checked fetal heartrate. No one's mentioned placenta at all so who knows, hopefully will find out on Tuesday at 20 week scan.

Meant to ask, anyone else booking a final sun holiday? We've just been booking a week away in Majorca at the start of June when it's not too hot and I'll hopefully be 26/27 weeks so final chance after not being out UK all through lockdown. Really hoping at that stage I'll still be up for doing some of the (albeit shorter) hiking trails

Hi all- sorry, I joined this thread a few weeks ago and then went silent after the viability scan. It was weird, after the initial relief that all was well, I started feeling really down. I think it's the realisation that I'm never really going to get to enjoy this because of the anxiety of it all going wrong- any reassurance is so fleeting. I can see I'm not alone in feeling this and I'm sorry for everyone else here dealing with the anxiety ❤️

I have another private scan booked for Tuesday, and all being well (🤞🤞🤞) booking in appointment with midwife on Friday.
Did people take their partners to the booking in appointment? I had expected I would do that one alone, but the letter said I could be accompanied by one other person, so now I'm wondering if the norm is to bring someone?

@2mumlife We are going to southern Spain next week. I'll only be 10 weeks and partner is very keen to get another holiday in during the summer too, which I like the idea of. I reckon Majorca in early June will be lovely! We have (briefly) talked about southern Italy or Croatia

@KatRee hi 👋🏻 it's a tough road, so do what you can to help yourself along. I talk to my baby every day and I have my "serious talks" where I say that I'm trying my best and I know they're trying their best, so we'll both just keep on. Probably sounds mad to some people! But I do find it brings me some comfort. Often the same evening of our serious talks I end up being really horribly sick (like tonight 😬). DH says that's the baby reassuring me the best they can!

I had my booking appointment over the phone and DH sat on the sofa with me, as the midwife checked some details about family history on his side of various health conditions. I would say fine to go alone if you want to, but equally if you want your DP to go with you that would also be fine.

Wow those holidays sound lovely for both you and @2mumlife! I'm a nervous flyer (claustrophobia) and it feels too much for me to go abroad this year. We will do our usual 1 hour 15 mins to either the Lake District or Yorkshire Dales, or both 😀 I find the Lake District good for my soul so we're very lucky we can just pop up the M6 to be there.

@KatRee glad things are going well so far for you. My husband has only come to 2 of my scans/appointments (I have fornightly scans and then see a midwife the other week). But this is because he doesn't get time off work for these appointments and with having to sort childcare it's really not possible for him to attend. He didn't come to my booking appointment. And to be honest not a lot happens at that appointment. My booking appointment was half over the phone (with a multitude of questions about my medical history) and then a face to face appointment to have bloods, blood pressure, urine test and weight taken.

@2mumlife I am 26 weeks this week and would love a holiday. But having said that I have felt tired, had swollen feet and had some aches and pains with being on my feet with the warm weather this weekend. We had originally booked a holiday to Malta next week. However as I am having twins my midwife advised not to travel aboard that late on with a twin pregnancy, so we are going to Devon instead! If I wasn't having twins we would of gone to Malta though at 27/28 weeks. I think you would be fine as long as you take it easy, allow breaks/rests and some earlier nights as needed. Only other thing to mention is about the risks of blood clots in pregnancy with flying if you are high risk (which I am), this was another reason the midwife suggested it wouldn't be ideal for me to fly after 28 weeks (I have to take blood thinners). But Majorca isn't a long flight though

@KatRee I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious 💐 Most people do find it gets better so just hang in there.
My partner didn't come to my booking in appt. Honestly, it's so boring and takes about an hour. Though I appreciate many people look forward to it because it's an official milestone in pregnancy, so if you want him there go for it.

No holiday for me. Some airlines want confirmation from your doctor that you're okay to fly past 28 weeks and I wouldn't be given the all clear. Can't even do a week in Devon or whatever because I have blood tests twice a week. I feel too shit physically anyway. I definitely would go away if I were up to it and complication free though! It's a lovely idea - last romantic trip for a while, or if you've got a little one already it's a chance to have quality time to focus on them before the new addition.

Thanks for the support ladies

@CurbsideProphet - That's lovely that you talk to your baby - lol at them reassuring you by making you sick! Sorry you are still getting that though.
I mainly feel mildly nauseous throughout the whole day and whilst it's pretty wearing, it is also reassuring- i don't think I'd know I was pregnant if it disappeared as it's pretty much my only symptom atm. I don't seem to get any cramps anymore and I only have sore breasts when the cat walks over them when I'm in bed!

Trips to the dales and lakes sound lovely. We live in London now and regularly go to Surrey at the weekends for country walks, but I'm originally from further north and really pining for the lush green and the more rugged landscapes up there!

@Donimo - Devon also sounds lovely- I hope you get good weather and relaxation

@Holskey I'm sorry you are struggling with these later stages of your pregnancy. I hope the last trimester passes quickly for you

Thanks all for the info re the booking in appointment - I think I'll do this one on my own as it doesn't sound like my partner will be needed for much and it can be a bit awkward for him to get time off work sometimes, so we'll save it for the scans!

Sorry your struggling @Holskey.

On the topic of holidays and activities. We have been looking at activities to do whilst on holiday next week. I am considering doing a bike ride (will be on a disused railway line so fairly flat). I am 26 weeks pregnant with twins, so fairly big bump (probably more like 30 weeks plus in size). Does anyone ride a bike whilst in their third trimester? I am wondering if I am likely to fall off (due to bump making me unbalanced) and pelvic/bottom pain. I was thinking of on doing a couple hours and then stopping for cake/drink and then a couple of hours back. Also wondering about hiring an ebike rather than using my bike (which I haven't ride since being pregnant). Any thoughts?

@Donimo I've avoided all things which pose an unnecessary fall risk. For me that includes bike rides, especially as a fall whilst riding could be quite serious, and as you say, your balance might be affected by pregnancy. It's a personal decision depending on how confident you feel. If you're an experienced and confident rider, I could see why you might decide differently to me. Bike type makes a difference too because it could be very uncomfortable if you're leaning over and bringing your knees up to your bump.

@2mumlife I wasn't told about my anterior placenta at 12 weeks, I had a private scan at 17 weeks so found out then. It was confirmed at the 20 week scan.

I'm 23 weeks now. I might have felt something but I'm really not sure tbh. Need proper kicks to happen!

@Donimo

I cycle quite a bit and cycled well into my third trimester with first baby. For me upright positioning was key (town bike, not racing bike), adjusting handlebars, and lowering the saddle so I could easily reach the ground if needed. If you’re on a protected bike path and not going too fast I reckon it will be alright. Women in the Netherlands and Denmakrk cycle practically to term (though they are daily cyclists and have good infrastructure for it).

I would avoid an e-bike because they can go quite fast and can increase the severity of injury in the event of a fall.

Trying to imagine the train track route, is it a paved path or is it bumpy train tracks? That might also factor in to the risk assessment.

Question for you all: when did you start to buy baby bits (big and small)? I’m 14 weeks now and starting to feel excited but can’t help but worry I’m somehow going to “jinx” things if I start buying bits now. I know it’s silly but it just feels so early?

@Begoniagal7 I was was same and started getting a few bits after 20 weeks. Even now I can't bring myself to sell my single pram to buy a double as think I am jinxing 1 of the twins! I do have a daughter so only needing to double up on a few bits for the twins. I am still reluctant to buy now and I have only brought so far a car seat (and only got that as needed to work out if I can get 3 car seats in my car otherwise a new car was needed). A couple of outfits and a baby carrier. I was going to go to a mum2mum market sale 2 weeks ago but couldn't as I had covid. I can recommend this second hand sales to everyone if you are not wanting to buy completely new. Good for clothes, play mats, bouncy chairs etc.

@Begoniagal7 I'm similar dates to you and have had the same worry. However DH agreed we would buy little things after each milestone to mark the occasion. After my 12 week scan we went to M&S and bought a beautiful little baby grow and a set of 3 vests with rainbows on ❤️

We're leaving the big purchases (ie pram / moses basket) until much later, as it doesn't seem worth causing me anxiety by having them in the house when we don't need them yet. We won't be having a proper nursery to start off with anyway so that's not even on the list. We both WFH and need the spare room to still be multi functional, especially as baby would be in with us for 6 months. We do need so sort out built in wardrobes for our room and the spare room to give us more space, so they will be the biggest thing to sort out! (Hoping IKEA will make it easier!)

@Donimo I don’t ride a pushbike but I do spin most days on my Peloton. At 28w with a singleton, the bump is starting to get in the way even in a very upright position (it basically makes me feel like I need to pee). I can ride for half an hour but not much longer.

Beyond that I wouldn’t be concerned riding on a rail path. I’d probably go for an electric bike to save your legs but ideally not commit to anything until you’ve had a short ride to see how you feel.

@Begoniagal7 we waited until 25 ish weeks. We bought the travel system last week (good deal on a discontinued colour) but apart from that I’ve only bought a baby bath and a bouncer (both second hand). We are moving house at 32w so that influences things a lot! However I’m planning to put together my hospital bag this week as I’ve heard so many stories of babies arriving unexpectedly early.

Welcome @SingingGirl82 and cautious congrats.

@Holskey thanks for the link. I’ve been doing some research on there and 6 days into monitoring all my levels have been green so far. It was my birthday yesterday though and watching my husband eat steak and chips followed by cheesecake whilst I had a superfood salad was actual torture! Hopefully it will all be worth it and only another 6-7 weeks to go now!

@KatRee sorry to hear you’ve also been anxious. I’m not sure I have many tips as I’ve really struggled too other than take each day as it comes, celebrate the milestones and try keep up a routine of getting fresh air/out for a walk and doing some meditation or yoga each day.

Jealous of those of you getting away for a break in the sun! We had been planning it for Jan around 21 weeks but then omicron struck so we went to the new forest instead which was actually really lovely. Just a change of scene is good!