IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

@JAR1981 belated happy birthday wishes! 🥳🎁🎉🎊 Can't believe your husband ate steak, chips and cheesecake on your birthday! Shame on him 😂.
I enjoy thinking of all the foods I'm going to scoff after the baby and every time I'm jealous, I mentally add to the list. This is why I put weight on after my son was born! 😂

I'm 29+2 and I have bought nothing at all. Not a single vest or baby grow or anything. I have all the big stuff because of my 21-month-old so it's not a disaster. I didn't buy things until past 30 weeks with him either, but I know this one is coming early and I just can't bring myself to buy anything. I don't know if it's superstition or more just that I'm worried about her and don't want to think about when she's coming and if she'll arrive safely. I would love to be more organised though - certainly no bad thing to buy early (but just remember some things have warranties that will start when you buy them).

@Begoniagal7 I’m reluctant to even get my maternity clothes down from the loft, but tracky bottoms aren’t going to do much longer, not much else fits comfortably and I’ll have to go back into the office shortly. I’m 14 weeks this Thursday. and my 4.5 year old told me yesterday I have a big tummy (we haven’t broached the subject with him yet). Im normally a size 8-10.
We are also going through the process of moving house with target date at 28w… means we’ll lose the school place we’ve just been allocated. There’s never a perfect time to do these things!
Holiday-wise have booked a weekend away with friends to butlins at 33w and a few days in Europe mid-May. Am very impressed and a little envious of the cycling plans and workouts!

And @KatRee my DH missed both the booking in and the 12.5 week nhs scan, but given the number of times he’d sat waiting for me outside the fertility centre and that he’d been at the 7 and 9.5 week scans I didn’t mind too much. He’s planning to go to the 20w 🤞. Also my 12w appt took a whole 2h due to initially uncooperative baby, blood tests… from memory the booking in was a touch better at 1.5h including blood waits…

@KatRee I'm sorry you've been feeling down. It is really common (I didn't even feel positive when we got the BFP if I'm honest, because the cycle before my BFP was a chemical, so I didn't feel I could get hopes up). For every milestone I reach though, some of that caution / holding back drops away. My booking appointment was over the phone in the middle of the day so DP wasn't involved. To be honest pregnancy appointments feel like fertility ones - lots of just doing it by yourself. DP came to the 12 week and 20 week scan, I've done all the fornightly cervix checks online. She'll also come to the 28 week growth scan, but probably wont come to any of the subsequent growth scans I don't think unless they happen to be in the evening. Have a wonderful time in Spain :)

@CurbsideProphet Lake District will be lovely - we have a short caravan stay booked near the Lake District first week in May :)

@Donimo Its great you are still able to get away for a break without flying. I'm lucky in that I don't have any risk factors, and so far feeling perfectly fine. We've gone self catering which DP prefers and also means we can just take everything at our own pace / have quiet time when we want. I hope you have a great time in Devon :)

@Holskey Bloods twice a week must be a real pain :(

Mumsnet is playing up this morning everytime I @ someone so will try just respond to other comments below!

Begoniagal7 We're getting the vast majority of things second hand, and started picking up bits after 12 weeks. I have a pram/travel system, next2me crib and some other bits already. We got a free chest of drawers for the nursery from freecycle, and really close friends wanted to buy us a crib as a gift which they've already had delivered, so we've got all the big things already to be honest. I found I needed to accumulate to make things feel real to be honest and try to put positivity into the world that this was actually going to happen. Now my family knows I'll also be getting loads of clothes and bits from my sister who had a baby last November.

JAR1981 New Forest sounds like it would have been lovely :)

Mountaingoat31 That's good to have a trip with friends planned :)

We passed another milestone yesterday evening - 20 week scan! Everything was measuring normal, and fetus was in a nice position for once! Mystery of the placenta positioning was resolved - I have a fundal placenta, stuck perfectly symmetrically right at the top of uterus hanging over everything. I should have really realised before as this was where my SCH bleed was doh moment. I'm still in complete awe at seeing how big that perfect 4 chamber heart is now, compared to that first tiny white light of a heartflicker at first scan. I can't get over how quickly everything has developed. Its really nice to hit 20 weeks as I've said to parents they can now start telling people now we know everything is going ok :)

@2mumlife 20 week scan is an amazing milestone! You must be so pleased 🙂Early is May is a lovely time for the Lakes, lush green and flowers everywhere 🙂

Thank you @JAR1981 @2mumlife I do need to try and get outside and do yoga/meditation. I'm finding it hard this week as I'm so tired, and struggling to sleep- but I've found that the app I used to use for yoga when we had the lockdowns has a pre-natal version that im trying out and someone suggested the mindful ivf app had a mindfulness package for the first trimester, which I hadn't realised, so trying that too.

Had a private scan at clinic on Tuesday as seemed too long to wait for 12 weeks. I was 9w1d and embryo was measuring bang on and we got to hear the heart beat for the first time (just saw it flickering at viability scan). So that felt like some reassurance that will probably tide me over for a few more days

Booking in is tomorrow and I decided after all the helpful comments that I'll go to this one alone. Wish it wasn't at 9am as really don't fancy dragging myself out of bed early to get there, but I guess I'd better get used to the lack of sleep!

Great news on 20 week scan @2mumlife , that's a great milestone

Hope everyone else is getting on ok x

@KatRee I really liked the Mindful IVF app :) I've still not heard the heartbeat! but I've not had any private scans. I think I'm meant to get to hear at midwife appointment at 23 weeks (which coincidentally will be my first midwife appointment!)

I'm feeling rubbish with a sore throat and headache and things today, also slept really badly last night. I'm convinced fetus had hiccups in the middle of the night, which is both adorable, but also really hard to sleep through 😂

@KatRee my sleep is also rubbish this week 😩 Hope it wasn't too tough getting to your booking appointment this morning.

I'm 14 weeks +3 and still so sickly. This week I've been awake umpteen times per night feeling sick. I do feel used to it now but christ it is wearing 😴 I'm having to stay off work still as I just can't listen to other people's problems when I feel like vomiting 24/7. Work only want me back when I'm feeling physically stronger and eating and drinking more normally. Definitely not yet then!

I wasn't very happy with the midwife service so far and sent a feedback email. It's worked out really well as they've apologised and are making things more organised / less chaotic. I was worried about being seen as awkward, but honestly having to explain my miscarriages / IVF every time I came into contact with a midwife was awful. I would recommend that anyone feeling unhappy with their care have a look at Maternity Voices Partnership. They were so helpful for me.

Sorry you're both having trouble sleeping too @2mumlife @CurbsideProphet
I feel so lazy during the day because I just can't motivate myself to do anything on little sleep. Annoyingly I've never been able to nap during the day either, no matter how tired I feel

Also sorry you're feeling so unwell @CurbsideProphet - that must be incredibly wearing. I hope it eases up for you soon. And I hope you're maternity care gets better

The midwife I saw on Friday was lovely and she explained that they have a system whereby I would normally have all my appointments with her and might see an absolute maximum of three different midwives including her throughout the pregnancy, birth and after-birth care if I couldn't see her because of a timing issue or something. But we are planning on moving house in a few weeks and although we're just going down the road, because it's a different postcode I have to be transferred to a different team that don't work in the same way. I honestly wanted to cry! They might be perfectly nice too of course, it just she made her team sound so amazing, I want to stay with her!

Do IUI babies count? I'm due in November 😊

@CurbsideProphet I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling ill :( I wish I could say it gets better, but I've had a crappy week with heartburn so I'm not sure it does! I definitely need to get back to GP to get on omeprazole or similar - I've tried the liquid antacid stuff, and it immediately makes me vomit :(

@KatRee That's a shame you're moving to a different service/team. I think across the UK all midwife teams are meant to be aiming for continuity of care? I guess the reality might be different.

@tigger2022 Welcome to the group! That's amazing IUI worked for you - we tried 4 rounds of IUI before moving onto IVF :)

Thank you @2mumlife 💐 yes definitely ask for omeprazole, it's not a complete cure for me (still need to watch carefully what I eat) but it definitely makes such a difference. That burning lava vomit caused by untreated heartburn is just awful 😭
I'm a bit better mentally this week as I now have 1 community midwife and 1 hospital antenatal clinic midwife. I think the continuity will really help my anxiety.

Welcome @tigger2022 👋🏻👋🏻

@CurbsideProphet Thats great you've got everything sorted. Been a busy week at work so not got to GP yet but will do.

For the ladies further along - My bump seems to have expanded really rapidly from 20-21 weeks, and my weight has started piling up, is that normal? I suddenly feel HUGE 😮

Hey all
welcome@tigger2022
@2mumlife I remember I started growing more of a bump about then. I’m now 31 and a bit weeks and feel ginormous! (But I have GD). My weight hasn’t really gone up a huge amount - just my belly! So I look a bit funny lol. But that’s probably because I have to follow quite a strict low carb diet.

it’s getting to the point I’m thinking of taking a couple days of leave a week from work just to ramp down. I leave work in my 36th week for maternity- and the thought of 5 more weeks at full 5 days are exhausting me at the moment. Even though I wfh!

Please can I join in?

I’m 15+5 today, due in mid October. I had IVF with PGD due to a genetic condition which causes migraine, strokes and other neurological issues. This pregnancy is the result of my second transfer and is our last unaffected embryo.

I’m feeling a bit rough today and have spent the morning in tears. I’ve already had covid (coinciding perfectly with the peak of morning sickness - yuck!) which has left me really tired all the time and I’ve had a lot to do at work. I had a meeting last night which finished after 9pm, and this morning the cat peed on my pile of folded clean washing. I’ve also developed some hip pain which has been worse over night even with my big pregnancy pillow so I’ve struggled to sleep. I feel really guilty for crying and being uncomfortable rather than floating round like a Disney princess being grateful for being pregnant after all the IVF shit. Like I don’t have the right to find it hard. I feel like I’m not ‘pregnant enough’ to be struggling yet as well. It’s like a pregnancy-based impostor syndrome!

Welcome @tigger2022 and @The3rdWatermelon and congratulations!

@The3rdWatermelon i haven’t heard a single lady on here yet not finding pregnancy emotionally and physically challenging at times. I’ve had hip pain since around 10 weeks. At around 26 weeks I gave up and finally went to a physio and it’s made such a difference. She also said well done for coming before it developed into PGP after which point it becomes more challenging to manage/rectify so do consider going to get checked out. Your midwife should be able to refer you on the NHS but I think the wait can be a while so I was able to go private).

@LemonyT you sound like me. Mahoosive bump but same size everywhere else. My next growth scan is on Thursday next week so really hoping baby’s growth has slowed since following the GD diet. Unfortunately husband has COVID currently and although we are now isolating in separate parts of the house I’m hoping I didn’t catch it before he got a positive. The last thing I want is COVID at 35 weeks pregnant and the thought of not getting to go for my growth scan terrifies me!

@The3rdWatermelon 💐💐💐💐 for you. I'm 15 + 3 today. I've also had the guilt that instead of just feeling grateful that we've finally had success I'm crying about how sick and ill I feel. So sorry you've also had covid, that's extra rubbish on top of everything else. Can you look into physio for your hip pain?
I've been signed off work since 6 weeks because physically and mentally I just can't do it at the moment, so I would say there's no time in pregnancy that should be easier or harder. Hopefully it will get a bit easier for me though as I still feel horrific 😂

@LemonyT I found this pregnancy weight gain calculator, just to keep an eye that my wait gain was appropriate, and apparently I'm on the lower end of weight gain? so I think its just going to take some getting used to actually having a bump now! Its interesting you're looking at reducing work and wfh. I also wfh and was hoping to work basically up until due date, as I feel (at the moment anyway!) that I'd prefer to be busy than just waiting around to give birth, but now you've got me thinking that view might change when I'm further along!

@The3rdWatermelon You are ABSOLUTELY allowed all the tears, frustration and complaints about sore bits that you want - the mode of conception doesn't mean you can't find pregnancy physically and emotionally challenging. Let it all out whenever you need to :)

P.S. I got a copy of "How to give birth like a feminist" today. Already loving it, and recommend to anyone else looking to feel more empowered :)

Welcome @tigger2022 and @The3rdWatermelon!

I've not been on for a few days. The slightly altered mumsnet put me off 😂 Nice to read updates though 🙂

I'm almost 31 weeks into this, my second pregnancy, and I haven't found either pleasant. It's been none of the magical things I always imagined. This one has been particularly difficult from the beginning. I never got any of the 2nd trimester reprieve either. There has always been something painful, nauseating, exhausting, worrying at every stage.

Finding it tough is nothing to feel bad about. Firstly, it is tough! So many physical and hormonal changes bringing potential problems. I also think we're probably more prone to finding pregnancy difficult because we want that bump so much and build the experience up in our heads. I imagined a bit of nausea in the beginning and a bit of back pain in the end, but the reality has been so much more severe and actually debilitating.

Now I've likely only got about 4 weeks of pregnancy left due to my shitty obstetric cholestasis and I'm just constantly worried my baby won't survive my condition. I bought baby vit d drops the other day and that is literally all I have bought for her so far. I really need to get shopping!

Hugs for all of you struggling with whatever it is you're struggling with. And if anyone is loving pregnancy, please feel free to say that too!

This is my first baby, maybe I was naïve but I never expected pregnancy to be this hard!

Thank you for the welcome!

I have my 16 week midwife appointment on Wednesday so I’m going to speak to her about the hip pain. I’ve tried to do a little bit more very gentle exercise which has helped reduce the pain but not the clicking, however yesterday I found a single spot of blood in my underwear, maybe a bit bigger than the head of a pin. I’ve gone for rest and monitoring and haven’t had anything else since (despite getting up over and over in the night to check!) and no pain in my stomach or cramping…

@tigger2022 when going through the hell of IVF I didn't consider the actually being pregnant bit 🙈 I just wanted to have a baby. Now I'm pregnant and just seem to feel ill ALL of the time. @finallypregnant

Oh christ this new system is so fiddly.

I wanted to say I bought a set of affirmation cards from "finally pregnant" - run by a woman called Cat Strawbridge (she's on Instagram etc) specifically for women pregnant through fertility treatment. One of the cards says "I treat myself with compassion on the days I find pregnancy hard". I've had this card out all weekend as my anxiety has been right up and then I was back being sick again this morning.

Pregnancy is hard and there's no shame in saying so, even though we went to so much effort to be pregnant!