Due June 2022 (thread seven!)

[PeeAche]

New Thread!

@CurryandSnuggle I thought hard if I should say this, but I wanted to give an alternative perspective on C sections: I had a vaginal birth with our our daughter. I was in hospital for 5 days and my recovery took months - about 3 months to be able to sit down without pain and without a gutter cushion. I came home at 5 days still with a catheter leg bag, which had to be replaced several times because it kept leaking. I was back and forth in hospital to try to sort it out, including a readmission for a night. No one could reassure me that I wasn't looking at incontinence for life (thankfully not the case but things are still not quite right in that department). And I had six weeks' worth of Clexane injections to do at home. My NCT friends who had C sections were up and about way before me and had more straightforward recoveries. I'm not saying its's like that for everyone, at all - lots of people have very straightforward vaginal births. The majority probably. But I know very little is said about the risks if you don't have a straightforward natural birth, whereas the risks of C sections are always discussed in detail. No one prepared me for the after effects of a difficult vaginal birth, and I was shocked when I was faced with them. I really hope I haven't put everyone off, just wanted to provide an alternative perspective.

@EarlGreywithLemon Thanks for sharing your perspective and I'm so sorry you had to go through that and that recovery was so hard. Mine was not as bad as your experience but because my labour was so quick I tore pretty badly, they described it as 'jagged-y' 😩 Had to have lots of stitching up and couldn't sit for a long time and walking hurt. I did fully recover in the end though, not trying to scare anyone!

@EarlGreywithLemon I’m sorry about your experience. I have considered the possibility of eg a severe tear. Midwife said she cannot guarantee who will suffer a bad tear and who won’t. These are definitely valid concerns. I guess no one knows what their birth experience will be until it happens so for now we just need to weigh up the pros and cons of two unpleasant options 😂 I mean I have to say, neither thrill me 😂😂😂

@Turniptracker I know. It’s such a long time. I’m trying to work out how to tell them diplomatically that they should come later for less time… 😑

@Flowerbug1994 - yes, I have quiet days for movement. Only started feeling anything that was definitely movement a couple of days before my 20 week scan. Had definite movements for a few days after, then 2 days almost nothing. I was so anxious! Felt some more definite pokes again today, so feeling a bit better about it.

It's funny - before I was pregnant, I worried I might find it creepy or weird to feel movements. But now I love it when it happens.

@CurryandSnuggle are you sure the stats you got about C-section recovery times were just for elective C-section? Often EMCS and elective stats get combined. An emergency operation when the baby is potentially already in distress will have much higher risks and longer recovery times than a planned, scheduled C-section.

@CurryandSnuggle, @Prema112 thank you and I really hope I didn’t frighten or upset people. I just think it’s very unbalanced that C sections are always compared with straightforward vaginal births in terms of risk, when no one can guarantee a straightforward vaginal birth. I think women should be given the facts to make a fully informed choice. I actually don’t regret choosing a vaginal birth as my first birth, despite the complications. I think it was definitely worth trying. But I do wish the inherent risks had been made clearer to me, the way they are when you choose a section.

@EarlGreywithLemon I think it's really good to hear both sides so thanks for sharing your story. It's true, everyone hopes for a straightforward vaginal birth and it generally sounds like the better option, but not a lot of people like to talk about the potential risks or problems.
For me a c-section always sounded a bit scarier than a natural birth.
And I never really thought about having a c-section to be honest, until my 20 week scan where the sonographer mentioned that my low placenta might potentially cause a problem if it doesn't move. So it's good to hear some positive notes on c-sections as well. :)

Has anyone heard of epi-no before? It's supposed to train you for natural birth to prevent tearing.

@Annabell1 I haven't but I'm definitely interested in that, thanks for sharing. I think not tearing is going to be high on my next midwife appointment chats

@Annabell1 EPI-NO sounds promising. There's also Aniball. I like the fact that reviewers say it helped them as FTM prepare for labour

@Prema112 Yes same here :)
There is another brand called aniball, which might be a bit cheaper actually.

Thanks @RubyRoss :) ..forgot to refresh the page.

anyone struggling with getting right sized bra? My size has changed all of a sudden.so i decided to measure myself and calculate using online calculaters. Went to the shops and tried the calculated size and it was soooo small! Do i need a maternity bra or just need to find right size in normal ones??

@MrsNT I went to a maternity fit at bravissimo last week and they measure you for a larger bra size. They basically said the chest size should fit comfortably on the tightest setting (unlike the loosest like normal) so that you can loosen it as you continue to grow through pregnancy. And the cups should be large enough to fit your fist in along with your boob! I've gone from a 38DD to a 40E now and I am waaaay more comfortable

@BunBun221 thanks for the sizing info! The whole fist in bra bit is kind of terrifying though!

Just on the whole c section thing, I thought I'd add my experience as it's probably quite unusual and might help someone, might not!

I had a planned section with my first due to anxiety and primary tokophobia (extreme fear of childbirth). I'll be having a section with this baby too. I read up on the risks and the nice guidelines and was happy with my decision. It wasn't straightforward to get them to agree to it first time round by the way.

I know I was lucky but I had a fairly straightforward surgery, baby's apgar was 10, and an infection-free recovery.

It wasn't all lovely though, recovery was still hard, my birth plan was ignored and I wasn't given skin to skin, I felt judged and do feel shame because of societal norms around birth. I'm hoping to have more confidence to this time round.

@MrsNT Yes! My bras are so uncomfortable!! Like you I tried measuring at home and I've ordered several bras from different shops, none of them fit. I think I'm gonna have to go to central London for a fitting, what a faff

I've felt movement and little kicks these last couple of days which just makes it sink in that bit more! Nothing consistent yet but not expecting that for a few more weeks!

20 week scan Monday! Did anyone opt to go alone?
Due to 7 days off work with covid for both of us and 3 recent gender scans I said to my partner its fine for him to work and not come with me. I was there 2 hours last time & he was with me for all of 10 minutes then had to wait in the car but now I've got in my head that what if somethings wrong and he's in another city!

Thanks for sharing all your birth experiences ladies, it’s really helpful. I’m feeling quite anxious about making the decision and keep going back and forth! Due to high risk all I’ve been told is I would be induced on my due date, however there seem to be so many induction horror stories I can’t work out if it’s better to have a planned c-section on due date if it hasn’t happened naturally by then. I’m currently reading The Modern Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond which is helping me feel a bit more informed and would recommend to other FTMs. I think my midwife said we discuss birth plan at around 32-34 weeks so looks like I have 2 months to decide!

@Flowerbug1994 my movement is still up and down. I’m now 23 weeks and it started at 16. So had expected a clear pattern by now but obviously not! I feel like it depends on baby’s position though, as some days I have lots of really strong kicks against my belly and others it feels much duller and more internal so wonder if they’ve turned to face my back? It’s tough at this stage to know what’s normal and what’s not.

@Olive60 my husband came to 20 week scan but will be away with work for our first growth scan at 28 weeks. He missed my first f2f with consultant this week too and actually really glad he decided to skip it. I waited 90 mins and still hadn’t been seen, told them I was going to need to leave in the next 15 as has an important meeting to get back for so they wheeled out another doc who didn’t seem to know why I was there (I think mainly to confirm if I should still be on blood thinning injections but who knows what else my consultant wanted to go through?) and just went through all my medical history again which is already in my notes. Was 3 hrs out of work and a bit of a waste of time tbh. It’s hard for many partners to juggle all of the appointments too.

@PleaseSendNoodles I know right? There i was in the firting room putting my fist in my bra thinking 'theyre going to get HOW much bigger?!' So glad I did get fitted though. I was down to my last sports bra and the situation was getting dire!

Is anyone else quite obviously showing yet? Baby boy seems to have popped out in the last couple of weeks quite dramatically and I'm sure I look about 2 months further along than I should! I'm finding it really uncomfortable getting up from chairs / out of bed / moving around and I'm wondering if its because my bump is oddly large? I'm a FTM so wasn't expecting to be showing so much when I'm only just half way through (19+4) I do have the abdominal muscles of a platypus though and barely hold a plank for more than 10 seconds!

I SAW the kick again! And now I am feeling much more certain it's a kick. It feels amazing to feel movement. I cannot wait for the ultrasound next week, my husband wasn't able to come to the 12 week one and it was so fun to watch them flipping and wriggling about so I'm excited for him to see!

What are people's thought on finding out whether they're a boy or a girl? I'm on the fence.

@bunbun221 @pleasesendnoodles @prema112

So does this bigger bra size go away after birth or is it permanent