Due June 2022 (thread six)

[MrsNT]

Wow we are on thread 6
Please tag anyone ive missed

Speaking a book, a pregnancy book, but Philippa Perry’s The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read has been brilliant with having a little one. I just wish I’d read it before our daughter was born (discovered it when she was a few months old). It has a hood section about pregnancy, and relaxing in pregnancy, but it’s mostly a child rearing book.

*speaking of books

Ugh, I just can’t type today! “Speaking of books, not a pregnancy book, but…”
Can I blame baby brain?

@EarlGreywithLemon - the Phillippa Perry is excellent. Though I disagree with her hardcore anti-sleep training stance. Totally understand where she’s coming from, but it’s sometimes necessary to let them cry a bit for a few days so they reset. Needs must of you don’t want to go insane. But I think everyone, not just parents, should read it, as it’s so good at helping you unpack all the bollocks we all carry around from our own childhoods.

It's on my reading list. Expecting Better and Crib Notes were great. Currently reading' What the expect: the first year' but not enjoying it, and found the breastfeeding tirade at the start very annoying. Possibly in part due to the audiobook voice, but feels much less expert and considered than the others I've read.

Hey @Kittycat2022, before I was pregnant I suffered with anxiety, it’s ten fold now I am pregnant as it’s something else to worry about. I’m really trying to listen to calm music, do pregnancy yoga, and whenever I get invasive thoughts ignore them and think of something else!
It’s hard not to worry about everything when all we want to do is protect our baby. I’d say try not to google as much and consult your midwife/gp.
In terms of infections, I currently have a really bad case of thrush but GP isn’t worried, just been told to self manage with canestan, so even if you do get that, just know it’s not end of the world bad for the baby. Just very irritating for mommy. 😂

My anxiety at the moment is that my stress and anxiety is harming my baby. I’m stuck in a vicious circle I am trying to get out of. I am feeling so much more overwhelmed at work even though I am doing the same work I’ve always done. Trying to stick by my own advice and step away from my PC if it gets too much, as I’m worried it’ll harm the baby if I feel that way!

I think some people in this group has have covid but I would really do with positives stories about having covid and being pregnant! I tested positive on the 9th January and I am 16 weeks pregnant. I have contacted my midwife and changed my 16 week appointment for later in the month and as I have mild symptoms (blocked nose, a bit of a sore throat...) she said it will be fine.
I am just so worried! My husband has also tested positive but he is feeling much better than me.

Hey Ms Bubbles - I've had covid TWICE! Once before I was pregnant and once during (I've literally only just finished isolating!)

1. It was worse the first time
2. Omicron does feel a lot like a rotten cold. My DH just had it too and it was his first time and he suffered it more but still just like a really grotty snotty cold.
3. I'm fine. Baby is fine. All is fine.
4. You will be fine too!!!!

Get well soon.xxx

@Kittycat2022 I really feel for you - living with daily anxiety is quite tiring and I’m sure even more common since the pandemic. The advice others have given is really good and I think it’s a great idea to go back to your CBT person. Maybe you can try the grounding techniques from CBT like holding something tactile or finding a smell to bring you back to the present. I also found using the meditations on Calm app taught me to let the anxious thoughts be there but not take over and overwhelm. I hope you find some strategies that help you! :)

Thanks @PeeAche for your message. It is just so worrying, I will just try to calm down and have some positive thinking.

Hi all, I am sure I read somewhere that in the second trimester your glowing!? Well I certainly am not lol
No idea why I woke up today feeling so emotional, I went for my Downs screening blood test on 28th and was told that if I didn't hear anything back in 7 days then assume its OK. Its gone 7 working days now so I should be happy, but I've just lost my faith a little in the NHS of late and it worries me how every department (scans, maternity and EPU) all work off different systems.

The maternity section had the wrong telephone number for me and it took an age to change it and I'm still not confident it's been changed. I tried calling the reception today just to check and can never get through to anyone, just rings and rings. The EPU are great and always answer the phone, they had the right number but no record of any screening results but said they work totally differently.

To top it off had a whooping cough vaccination booked today at doctors and arrived to be told it had been cancelled!

As a result, I'm a big emotional mess! I'm assuming it's hormones but ain't they meant to be all happy stable hormomes in the 2nd trimester lol

Then the anxieties kicks in and I start worrying that me being in such a sorry mess harms the baby.

Agghhhh .... is it June yet x

@Clueless22

I don't know where to start - with reassurances or solidarity...

I'll start with solidarity. Sister, preach. I spent 6 weeks with an intense kidney infection (yes, during this pregnancy) because it wasn't showing up on dipsticks (only culture tests) and I couldn't get anyone to believe me. The midwives forgot to email the doctors. The doctors lost my culture analysis. The hospital sent me home without doing the proper tests. I was bent double with pain and still everyone I saw patted me on the arm and said "it's hard to be pregnant, you do feel like everything is a lot more scary than it really is. You probably just have back ache. Go home and put your feet up".

On top of that, I've had misreporting in my appointment notes, a total lack of support for my HG and my GP keeps forgetting to send my prescriptions over to the pharmacy. They also plain forgot to book my 20 week scan. I've been left with the overriding impression that the NHS cannot adequately support me through my pregnancy.

But... (and here's the reassuring part)

They can. And they will. Even if things get missed and appointments get forgotten, they are still there for us. On a personal level, while they're stretched beyond their means, all of the staff are incredible.
Quite apart from the fact that billions and billions of women before you have had normal, healthy pregnancies globally, since forever... our NHS supports us through the process, for free (at point of access) and in clean, safe environments. We are very lucky. Feeling able to complain about these niggles is, in itself, a sign of our own privilege.

Your baby and you (and my baby and I... and all of us here!) are going to be fine. We are so fortunate that we will give birth under our NHS. Statistically more fortunate than most of the other women on our planet that are also pregnant right now. Think about the bigger picture and feel lucky, not sad. ❤️

@peeache loving the way you still see the good. It's exhausting, but you're right. We're very lucky in this country. I can't imagine doing this without even today's stretched support systems in place.

@PeeAche I love your comments here, such a great reminder of just how lucky we are 💚💚💚

@PeeAche thank you for the reassurance and I know deep down that when you really need them they're there for you. They were amazing when I had my miscarriage last year. I'm being stupid and just giving myself something unnecessary to worry about. Like you say they've done this thousands of times before unlike me!

I did have to call quite a few more times and I did eventually get through to someone. I just need to be more patient, chill out a bit and see that cup as half full rather than half empty x

Ladies just on the back of all the anxieties being shared today (from a #1 worrier), I can’t actually believe that some of us are approaching our 20 week scans. How blooming exciting!!!! Mine isn’t for another 3 weeks but I’m so proud of us all for smashing this ♥️ Xxx

@pregnancydiaries it only feels like yesterday when we were all getting prepared for 12 week scans. It doesn't feel like it at the time as the wait between scans seems to be endless but looking back it is going by quick.
Mine is a week Friday... soo excited 😊
Here's to the 20 week scan milestone

Hi ladies how is everybody? I bet a lot are approaching 20 weeks scans soon!
I've just had my appointment to listen to baby's heartbeat today!

Hope your all doing okay I try to catch up on here as much as I can! X

Hi everyone, has anyone else got crippling back pain? I start with spasms up in my shoulder blade around early afternoon and it just progresses to agonising shooting pains up and down my spine and feels like my lower back is about to break in half by around 5pm!! I finally heard back from my midwife team email this afternoon and they've told me I need to go to a midwife walk in clinic but she also just said this is normal for pregnancy. I know back pain can be normal but I feel like this is excruciating and surely I can't just be expected to get on with it?? I'm honestly spending every evening lying horizontally whilst my poor DH tries to look after me and I'm on the verge of tears it's so bad.

Sorry ladies, me again.
Have any of you noticed a change in the feel of your bump, some days it's feels hard and then others a lot softer?

@mrkb - That doesn't sound normal to me, definitely worth a trip to the walk in centre I think, if only for some pain management tips. In the meantime, a hot or cold water bottle my help. Have you considered physio or an osteopath/chiropractor? I have suffered with my back for years and physio is only getting me so far at the moment, so I researched into other options after a friend if mine told me how much it helped her and found this website...
pelvicpartnership.org.uk/list-of-recommended-practitioners/

@Clueless22 I think a lot of this is to do with bloatedness too. A lot of our bump will still be made up of bloat too so depending on how that changes will make it harder/softer xxx

@clueless22 for me its more to do with how bloated i am😂morning it feels lighter towards end of day it feels really tight

@mrkb I found the doorway stretch and the clasped hand stretch here really good for upper back pain:
postpartumtrainer.com/pregnancy-stretches-upper-back-pain/

Bizarrely I have a cross-body handbag which I've been using daily for years with no issue but it now gives me back ache after 10 minutes of wear, even with only my purse and phone in it. Very annoying. Not using that and specifically reminding myself to straighten my back and uncurl my shoulders has also helped with back pain. I think yoga and some core exercises is also helping.

Not totally fixed though - got really intense pain in one shoulder like a trapped nerve the other day and ended up taking paracetamol and going to bed. Decidedly not fun.

Hi, I'm new to this thread I was a bit unsure on my dates due to irregular periods and had what I thought was my 12 week scan today, but it turns out that I'm 18 weeks! We're having a little boy who is due on 13th June