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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Minsters Sidecar Bumping Along - ttc graduates thread 5

999 replies

larrythelizard · 01/01/2022 11:04

As I'm avoiding doing any of the useful stuff I should be doing I thought I'd just pop another sidecar up x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 16:02

Catching up...

Yup full lot of pickled onions gone @becarefuloutthere I might love onto the various recommendations for gerkins...tbh I loved all things pickled anyway it's not a new thing, but actively sitting with a jar perhaps is 🤔I feel the need to challenge @clolo to doing those in one sitting not 2! 😂

Ah I see @SWAttempting, I've been told I need a planned c section but not when other than not before 39 weeks unless baby needs it

The smyths seat seems ideal @bez91, and hopefully you'll get out for that walk too, it was lovely & frosty & crisp this morning

@Juno231 that's big steps on cancelling IVF and contacting the midwife...it's real ❤️😊

Ooooo more baby scans for @feliznavidad2 that's awesome! Then countdown on days to get the NIPT results

@paintfairy on the prams I kept the smaller one in my car not the house, although after we finished using it you can get hooks that go on walls or doors to hold things which we hung the 2nd pram on in our utility room. So it wasn't cluttering. On the car seats for the "first" seats as in the carry ones you keep the isofix base in your primary car (yours) and then if it goes in another car then you can manually strap it in. We just did that for DHs car & anyone else's. It's not as safe as clicked into an isofix base but it's honestly fine if that's the minority of cases.
On the DH childcare knob issue it's so hard to predict until your baby arrives. I have been on meeting calls where a chap has had his kid on their shoulder, or glancing to it constantly & it's really off putting & lowers productivity like @clolo
has said what if they are screaming or need feeding, but I think that actually ppl are more open to that as it was like that for a lot of ppl last year...HOWEVER DS was a very easy baby & for the first year until walking I could've WFH with him & (my DH doesn't wfh) but also on your type of job, phone calls not ideal but if just computer based it's more manageable. I didn't send him to nursery til then for that reason. Some of my friends had nightmare babies they really wouldn't have done.

@Haiyaa I also worry about that as I'm complicated, but my SIL is an anaesthetist & often in maternity services (she could actually be in the womens & Children's bit in the hospital when I give birth) and she says it's not an issue here that all the reports are vastly over exaggerated. She does say though the worse cases of covid they currently have in both York and hull are non vaccinated pregnant ladies. In the wider hospital non vaccinated ppl in general one of which said to her before dying "I wish I'd had it" & she witnessed a whole family in ICU where they were all unvaccinated & 2 died, one was a 15 year old with no health issues. 😩

So how do we coordinate the DH babysitting club? I'm in def to get rid of grumpy DH

SWAttempting · 05/01/2022 16:07

@Minster2012 Ahhh see mine is to do with my LVEF (left ventricle ejection fraction) being 49%. My body can only cope with a certain volume of extra blood before my heart would fail and placenta would fail and we would have another fetomaternal Haemorrhage.

So the decision is to do with both mine and #2's health!

We've just had a rockling from the HV about #1 not having a fixed bedtime. But if he did - he'd only see OH 1/2 the time because of his shifts! 😕

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 16:13

Oh I forgot saying how great it is for @Vil10 with another scan on Friday and taking your mum that's so 🥰 cute

Had a couple of sale baby bits arrive in front of my parents yesterday, so lovely. I got proper downers from them about buying stuff (in general as we have some from DS) it really puts a dampener on things 😣

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 16:14

@SWAttempting how old is DS? I haven't seen a health visitor in years 😂

SWAttempting · 05/01/2022 16:16

@Minster2012 DS is 2 days off 14 months but he's medically complex so has a fair amount of input! 🤦🏻‍♀️

feliznavidad2 · 05/01/2022 16:24

Ooh @Minster2012 - do you like the really strong pickled onions? I only buy them at Christmas as they give me horrendous indigestion but they're delicious. I like Garner's and they're usually on offer then. Oh and what poo-pooers of your parents, that rubbish, sending you a hug - they shouldn't do that. Angry

Fixed bedtimes don't suit all children, surely @SWAttempting - blimmin' HV!

When are you due @Haiyaa? Hopefully Covid will let up a little in the coming weeks, it is a worry though. Are you a healthcare professional or am I making this up?

@paintfairy Oh dear, bloody OH's! Of course you can't look after a baby if you're working, what planet is he on?

I'll let you know how it goes @Vil10 - I am NOT athletic, or agile, or anything at the best of times, let alone with my blimp-y abdomen. Glad it's feeling more real and we'll be thinking of you for your scan on Friday. Eeep. Smile

NIPT went as er expected, baby was still on it's front and wiggling around. The sonographer said she wasn't suprised they had issues getting the measurements if it was doing this... We've said yes to finding out gender - apparently should be about 7 days for results. Now need to be patient...

Crazydoglady123 · 05/01/2022 17:05

@Juno231 congrats on the scan and a lovely pic too!

@DKDK123 hope your first day back went okay!

@becarefuloutthere no none

@bez91 can I book mine in now please for collection 🙋🏽‍♀️

@feliznavidad2 pregnancy yoga sounds fun!

@clolo those look delish! With a jar of Gaviscon too for the heartburn after 😅 But no I'm with you on jarred pickles/gherkins anytime of the year 😍

@paintfairy yeah I plan to go nowhere so my only risk is my son bringing something home. Sorry to hear your DH isn't being very understanding about the childcare. Every baby is different. My DS was the easiest and just slept and ate. I think the routine he had helped (he always had his nap when I did the horses) so hopefully your baby will find a nice routine and you can get on with stuff.

@Haiyaa hopefully you'll still have a lovely birth experience

I got my GBS results back and all clear so can go to my little community hospital up the road! I woke up this morning with period pains and thought something was happening then it subsided but then it came back a bit later. It's done the same all day, come and gone. I think I'm having tightenings too but not sure if the real thing as not painful, just feels like a lot of pressure. Really hoping something is starting 🤞I keep getting really emotional too at the thought of being told I'm in labour in the sense of excitement and relief to have her here!

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 17:23

Ah I see @SWAttempting well bedtimes will always be contentious no matter what you do tbh

@feliznavidad2 I love ALLLLLL the types of pickled onions but those sweet ones are my fave. It was a Christmas tradition that my grandpa always made us have them & I loved eating loads with him, we basically never had them at any other time & we even had a special spoon for them like a "spork" but a longer handle

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 17:23

@Crazydoglady123 that's such good news! 🥰❤️🤞🏻

Sunbird24 · 05/01/2022 17:48

Ooh, @Crazydoglady123 hope something is happening, that’s exciting!

@feliznavidad2 do you have any inklings one way or another on whether you’ve got a boy or a girl in there? Yoga does sound good, maybe baby will wriggle a little less while you’re doing it!

I don’t know how you didn’t slap DH for that @paintfairy, have a 🏅 from me! This may be why I’m single…

@Vil10 what time is your scan on Friday? Hope you don’t have to wait too long

I have to be in the mood for a pickled onion, or even a gherkin, but I do like pickled onion monster munch, and the sliced pickles in a Big Mac! Scanxiety for tomorrow has kicked in, so I peed on an OPK as I didn’t have any HPTs… 🤦‍♀️

Minsters Sidecar Bumping Along - ttc graduates thread 5
larrythelizard · 05/01/2022 17:57

Also a big yes to pickles @clolo @Crazydoglady123 @Minster2012

That's good - more reassurance today @feliznavidad2 - exciting countdown to pink or blue!

I've lost track @Haiyaa - how far along are you? I think it's all a bit scary at the moment, trying not to think about it.

Nothing like a supportive HV eh @SWAttempting?! Real mixed bag here so I stopped seeing them swiftly!

Great news @Crazydoglady123!!

It's horrible isn't it @Sunbird24? At least you're on the countdown to knowledge. What are you, 8 weeks ish? What time is the scan?

OP posts:
Sunbird24 · 05/01/2022 18:02

8+4 tomorrow @larrythelizard, scan’s at 2pm so I’ll be in work in the morning trying not to think about it!

larrythelizard · 05/01/2022 18:18

Hopefully it's a busy morning and flies @Sunbird24

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paintfairy · 05/01/2022 19:17

Thanks for comments on wfh with a child. I suppose an easy baby would work. I was more thinking once they are older than that because 2 until school age would be horrendous from what I can see? 🤔 My mum is keen to help but for some reason DH doesn't seem thrilled about that. I do worry about relying on her and my step dad though as obviously they are old and it might be too much 5 days a week. They are so excited though, bless them.
My car seat thoughts then, are we'd be better getting 2 seats (in the end) and then a normal pram as opposed to a travel system. Money wise this is probably a better idea as any car seats we buy would last longer age wise too. Slowly I'm sure I'll work out a plan! I just know that with most of this stuff you only realise what you did/didn't need when it's too late and you've bought the wrong thing, and I don't want to do that.
@Haiyaa yeah, my local hospital actually has appalling reviews for maternity care too and is being monitored. Doesn't fill you with confidence! I dread going in on a busy day but you can't exactly time it?
@Minster2012 how ridiculous?! Firstly a sale is good! Secondly its not like you are only 8 weeks or something? Idiots.
@feliznavidad2 a future swimmer perhaps? 🤣
@Crazydoglady123 I can imagine that's how you get nearer the end, just keen for them to be here and safe. Not long now!
@Sunbird24 there are many pluses to being single. Actually a friend of mine had a baby when young, he's grown up now. But she split with his father when he was 6 months old. She then had another baby with her husband (6 now) and she said to me it was almost easier being a single parent. Because you accept you have to do everything, know where you are at, and don't get angry about it. Where as this time her DH used to piss her off constantly with things he did. 🤣 And they used to argue loads. All the luck in the world for tomorrow 🍀🍀🍀🍀 and I didn't realise am opk would still work by then! I never tried it actually!

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 20:31

But the sliced gherkin in a MacDonalds burger could be joined by lots of gherkin friends @Sunbird24 😂😂& totally with you on the monster munch but only on days you do not need to leave the house 😂. 🤞🏻for your scan, only one sleep & half a day work we are all behind you ❤️🥰I know it must be awful worry but you HAVE got further than ever so we all believe for you. and I agree with @paintfairy unless your OH is useful for a few things then maybe easier on your own, I need to keep DH on his toes

@paintfairy a few things to consider then, would you go back full time after mat leave & in that case yes 5 days is a lot so is 2/3 days at nursery an option then 3/2 days with grandparents? DH will sound like he's not thrilled because it could feel a bit like to him your mum might "mother" the child quite a lot if you are working, & a child is there a lot. I totally understand this as we have a similar scenario with a SIL & MIL in that she looks after the children basically all the time & it's a running joke that the kids prob think Mil is their mum (they did mistakenly say mummy not granny a fair bit) and the husband is left feeling like he plays second fiddle to granny or feels ganged up on & yet they are all incredibly close it still causes issues (in decisions for instance). Personally I wouldn't recommend it.
Car seats & pram that's a good step 🙌🏻I also love our swivel one (cozy n safe merlin) as did DH, but I think @bez91 also found a good smyths one. And yep, a lot of decisions you work out after, but we have always said to all of our friends a travel system is not necessary & 95% agree. Second hand furniture too is great, as others have said you just need new mattresses

Minster2012 · 05/01/2022 20:32

Ooo and pics of sale Xmas baby stuff on Insta
🥰(I may have bought other stuff too 😂)

Sunbird24 · 05/01/2022 20:43

My lovely American colleague brought me back some of these as we’d chatted before Christmas about snacks we both liked, and I was pretty much addicted to them when I was over there. Halfway down the box already! Good job he brought me two…

Minsters Sidecar Bumping Along - ttc graduates thread 5
larrythelizard · 05/01/2022 21:46

There's lots of ways of doing it @paintfairy like compressed hours and childminders and just taking the hit for a couple of years.

Random q - with IVF pregnancies are they dated from transfer or also LMP? I have a close friend who had iVF and think (and really hope) it was successful and I was trying to work out when she might let people know (some complicating life stuff meaning I will have to tell her I'm pregnant asap but want her to break her news first)!

I feel like shit again. Mega headaches, nausea and so fatigued. I'm also snotty so I wondered if it was Covid but all the LFTs have been negative so assume not. Just feel constantly migrainey. Have tried to eat better today than yesterday but feel worse! So annoying as there's not really any way of fixing it apart from riding it out

OP posts:
Juno231 · 05/01/2022 21:54

@larrythelizard you calculate it from egg collection day as it's the equivalent of conception date. Then add on two weeks. Just look for a due date calculator that has an IVF option.

@clolo I looove cornichons! I also always have Polish fresh pickled gherkins in the fridge (so not the canned kind). @Minster2012 you'll be happy to know I had silverskin onions tonight!

paintfairy · 05/01/2022 21:57

@Minster2012 I think I'll have to go back full time as it makes no financial sense not to (unless I'm missing something). The only way it would seem illogical would be if I was on a low wage and childcare worked out more? I don't think DH will be thinking along those lines because he didn't appear to want to use nursery/CM either. 🙄 He genuinely thinks the child can stay here all day. I do agree with you though that 5 days a week is a lot for grandparents, its basically their whole entire life taken up? Whilst they say it's fine, I think the reality would be different. I also agree it would seem like they were basically bringing up your child. So a balance between childcare and that, would be better. Plus the child would get a broader range of exper with life. We may get away with me winging it between wfh and using mum part time when the baby is young but as it grows I think it's certainly unrealistic. I'll end up building up a load of leave whilst I'm off work, so my intention would be to go back 3 days a week initially anyway, using 2 AL days a week for a while. I'm sure it'll come together.
I didn't realise you'd bought Christmas baby outfits! 🎄🤣
Yes I'll be interested to see what @bez91 thinks to the smyths one, if you have a look? Certainly seems a better price tag!
Its quite handy many people are ahead of me (or already have DC) so I can work things out.

I saw they do cute furniture sets! But likely yes, I'll be going 2nd hand there too. One thing I did see is they do a chest of drawers thing with like a baby change area on top? Clearly bending down constantly isn't ideal. So is a raised baby change area useful? Or do you end up not using it?

larrythelizard · 05/01/2022 21:58

Thanks @Juno231 she's probably not far off her 12 week scan then

OP posts:
paintfairy · 05/01/2022 22:02

@larrythelizard yes it's from EC, as that's fertilisation. Although you end up testing really quite late. So by the time my official test day was- I was already 4+4.
When going for appointments they ask when your LMP to date it and I'm like- that really won't help you. 🤦‍♀️ I had downreg for ages before starting stims so then it would look like I should be further on than I am, but the baby would be measuring small.

Sunbird24 · 05/01/2022 22:04

@larrythelizard if you know her transfer date, and what type of transfer she had, this calculator will help.
www.yourivfjourney.com/baby-calculators-for-pregnancy/ivf-and-fet-due-date-calculator/

For example mine was a frozen 5 day embryo transfer, so my due date comes out as 14 Aug. That’s 2 days earlier than the calculation from my LMP, as I ovulated a bit earlier than usual then had the transfer 5 days on from that.

becarefuloutthere · 05/01/2022 23:38

@Vil10 thank you, it did and Hamilton was great! Now on train home and not bk until midnight. Too scared to sleep in case I end up in Birmingham 😂 not due in until midnight, been a long ass day!
Yay for Friday and both being with you, you'll love it 🥰
@Minster2012 it was me who asked about the pickled onions 🙋🏾‍♀️ good going!! I love them too and all things pickled. Doubt I could rival @clolo record tho!
@feliznavidad2 exciting you can find out gender soon, a week will fly by! Promise 😗
@Crazydoglady123 ah so guessing they won't let you on certain wards then? No one's asked for my vaccines status yet, tho I did say I had the booster so my midwife knows but nothing in my notes. Oh just seen you can go where you want for the birth yay! Hopefully it's not long now until she is in your arms 🥰
@Sunbird24 good luck for tomorrow! Good you have work to distract you! And omg I love Cheetz it's 🤤
@paintfairy yeah it really used to wind me up when they asked for lmp, I was like it was ivf so that means jot and they're all like, we'd like it anyway please. 🤨 I always kept an eye and made sure they weren't changing my due date and would say "don't change my due date" like a psycho 😂

DKDK123 · 06/01/2022 02:29

@Minster2012 @bez91 yip still majorly struggling with pregnancy insomnia. Have had it from 6weeks on, think baby must have a middle of the night party that I'm subconsciously aware of, I was the exact same with DS for the whole of his pregnancy. It's usually from around 2.30-4.30am fall back asleep for an hour then DS is awake, but up earlier today (1.
30) due to feeling sick 😴

@Juno231 cancelling the IVF and making your booking appointment, two great (even if scary feeling) steps in the right direction. Time to believe it now 😊

@feliznavidad2 how was the pregnancy yoga class? Glad to hear scan went well, going to be a long impatient 7 day wait for you to find our gender!

@vil10 lots of exciting appointments coming up for you!

Handhold for the scanxiety @sunbird24, we're all here for you today.

@larrythelizard sorry to say but mega headaches, nausea and fatigue are all classic pregnancy symptoms so yip just gotta ride it out but it will pass eventually. Don't worry about trying to eat well just eat whatever your body can manage for now. I ate mainly carbs 1st trimester and completely went off all fruit and salad, but my eating is swinging now more to healthy foods and finding it hard to stomach carbs, just go with the flow of what your body's saying at the time.

@paintfairy yea you can get the replacement mattresses for carry cots, moses baskets, cribs, cots etc easily enough if you get any of them 2nd hand. I usually just order mine from Amazon or argos, just measure the size for each thing they usually come in a standard one or two size choices so measure your item type in the size and you're good to go. Your most expensive one will be your cot mattress but the rest aren't that expensive maybe around £20 to replace. Car seat wise we started off with one car seat but soon got very fed up with the hassle of moving it car to car and ended up just getting one for each vehicle baby would be in. Remember some friends/family may give you vouchers or money when baby's born too so you could always start off with one car seat and put that towards a 2nd car seat that's what we did.
As for working from home with a baby, I think your OH underestimates how much his life is about to change with a baby 🙈😂 Yes you might hit it lucky and land with a quiet, placid baby that will lie there entertaining itself while you're on calls for some of the time but trying to juggle a child and work every day 5 days a week I think would be a struggle even with the most best behaved baby as you won't be able to give both work and your baby your full attention. And what if you're on an important call and baby started screaming the place down, which do you give your priority to, leave your baby distressed and screaming while you leave the room as you can't hear your call or tell your client you need to call them back and risk losing the client/being pulled up by your boss for being unprofessional 🤷‍♀️ Hopefully your DH is just having a wee mid pregnancy time wobble about finances and the reality of a baby, we all have the 'shit what have I done' moment at some point once you start to think about things like how your financial situation will change, but you make it work.
As for the going back full or part time although financially going back full time may make more sense you may decide nearer the time that part time suits you better in terms of work/life balance. I'd planned on going back full time before DS but changed my mind during mat leave and decided taking a financial cut for a few years but gpong part time and having more time to spend at home with him was better for me. Yip it sucks living off less wage but you make it work. Just wait till nearer the time and see how you feel. I think I'd have been too burnt out doing full time and raising a child and feel resentful at missing so much of him growing up, but loads of people manage it fine, it's just whatever works for you.
On the baby changing question we definitely used ours lots so I'd recommend one to save your back but I know of other friends who just changing on the floor worked fine for them. Tho if you end up needing a section for whatever reason you'd struggle to change on the floor for the first while, I'd def say in that case a changing unit is a must. Again you can pick them up real cheap 2nd hand. Most 2nd hand baby things are in excellent condition as they're used for a year or less till baby grows out of them. If you don't have the space for a changing unit you can also get the changing tables that clip onto the top of some cots. We had a changing unit for DS but as we're tighter for space this time round we got the cot with the top changer that clips on it.

@haiyaa don't worry I'm in the neurotic what if I die during my section club too 😂 I keep saying to DH things like if I die remember you have to do xyz (practical day to day things that men think just magically happen) have already contemplated writing him an if I die book of things he's to think about when raising the children. He just laughs and tells me not to be so morbid 🙈 And yip you're right on the steroid injections, they're the sorest jags I've ever had and needles don't usually bother me. Def not looking forward to having them again this time round!
Try not to worry too much on the hospital front tho, they'll still work to a ratio but if they're short staffed you may be transfered to a different hospital if their ratio limits are reached. With DS (precovid times) I was kept in hospital for a month before he was born and any extremely busy times they'd prepare me for the fact if things didn't quite down in the next few hours they were getting ready to transfer me to another hospital as they knew my case was high risk so didn't want to jeopardise me being in the ward when it was at full capacity incase something happened and they didn't have enough staff to attend to me. Luckily it never happened as any times of high demand seemed to simmer down again within a few hours or extra staff were brought in but it was good they were always very much aware of working within their limits, I think the same will be had just now with covid times if they're short staffed you may just get sent to a neighbouring hospital if need be.

My mum asked DS if he wanted to go for a sleepover so he's away to hers till Friday. 🥳 So DH and I had an impromptu date night last night and went out for dinner. I think sometimes you need a right good falling out to make things even better again afterwards, we had a great time 😂 As predicted there were loads of staff off work yesterday but luckily for me as I only work Mon-Wed I just had to do one day then off today. So glad as I was shattered by the end of the day, not looking forward to next week! As I'm off and child free today I'm going to get some glossing done as the doors and skirting are all badly needing done so best do it while there's no fear of sticky child handprints appearing elsewhere. Glossing and napping that'll be my rock n roll day today 😂