Due August 2022

[ksc912]

Hello,

Just found out we are pregnant after 13 months of trying - based on last period will be due august 19th.

Any others with similar time like to join to support one another?

Congratulations @Mj2021

Same for me, first time! I'm around 6 weeks 3 days.

Yes, i've been so bloated! My jeans are so uncomfortable but i'm reluctant to buy any maternity stuff yet until i've had a scan! I did cave a buy a pair of maternity tights for a christmas day haha..

How have you found the sickness?

Morning all,

@Digby86 I had a mc in September and DP took it really, really hard. I think he was just in total shock and didn’t think it would/could happen. We were intending on starting again in Jan but here we are. He was encouraging me to take a test when I was a day late but I waited until I was a week late. DP is very overexcited which actually gives me more anxiety and added pressure. I’m really not sure how they’re supposed to be at this point?! 🙃

@BTN82 my SIL is also pregnant - totally out of the blue and they found out at 18 weeks!! I’ll be honest, I’ve avoided all social situations with her. I’m the gap between my pregnancies, it felt like everyone in the world was pregnant apart from me and I found it really hard. I know Christmas is a harder thing to avoid but I’d speak to DP about how you’re feeling so you have some additional support on the day.

Hope everyone is ok this morning!

Morning everyone,
I've woken up early this morning aswell, been awake since 5:15am. 😴 at least its nearly the xmas holidays and I can relax over the next week or so.
Hope everyone is feeling OK.
@Digby86 me and my husband haven't spoke about it much tbh. I think coz its still very early. In the new year once I go for my midwife appointment I think we will start discussing it more. However if u want to talk about it I would speak to him and tell him how u r feeling. X

Morning everyone. Thank you all your kind words. No more which is good. Think I panicked. Not helped it's been quiet at work last few days so my mind is on overdrive. Going to busy myself cleaning house today.

@Digby86 mines also very cautious. His sister had two miscarriages so I think until we get past first trimester going to be.

I woke at 3am this morning 😣 however I use an app called buddify managed to get back off for little longer! I know mindfulness not for everyone. But would recommend for those who can't back to sleep if overthinking.

@BTN82 can totally relate to how you are feeling. Good advice from @netflixandnochill

Hope everyone is doing ok today x

Good morning all, seems I'm late getting up this morning, haha.
Second pregnancy ladies with morning sickness...were you sick the first time round? I just threw up a bit (sorry if you're reading this over breakfast!), it never happened to me last time (sorry, don't hate me!) and now I'm wondering if this time I might not escape without some sickness.

Morning everyone

@Mj2021 congratulations! And with you on the bloating. I've already started using my bobbles to do my jeans up 🙈 think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and maybe buy a pair of joggers or something or I'll be house bound at this rate! With DS I was still able to get into my jeans at 18 weeks. Not sure what's happening this time 😆

@Digby86 my DP is the same. Not investing and very much it is what it is. But we've had losses previously so that probably explains why he's more of that mindset. But don't forget, for him nothing has really changed at the moment whereas physically your body is changing every day so it's going to feel much more intense and exciting for you. As Pearldrops suggested, speak to a friend if you're comfortable with that. Early support can be invaluable and a good sounding board. We've told my DPs twin and his fiancee as we're all very close and it's helpful to have someone on side with distractions especially when family are trying to push wine on you on Xmas day!

Guys - thanks so much!! I think I was getting myself wound up thinking Mr D wasn’t happy about the pregnancy or something. In reality, I think I’m probably just getting ahead of myself a bit and he’s (sensibly!) not there yet. I feel better for airing it though - really appreciate having you guys to chat with!

@netflixandnochill I think you make a great point - there probably isn’t really a right way to feel/be! DH would, I suspect, take an MC really badly too, so I suspect he’s just trying to protect himself a little at this stage.

@ksc912 that’s good news! Hope you’re feeling a bit better. I think busyness might be the key! Ooh I’m a mindfulness fan - the headspace app does some great sleep meditations too if you ever fancy mixing it up.

Sounds like Christmas will be a bit tough for a few of you. My SIL is having fertility treatment at the moment, and it’s a big topic of conversation (we’re fairly close). I’m finding it a bit hard to navigate, but at the moment am just keeping quiet, supporting her and will deal with the telling people part and sensitivity around that when the time comes. My in laws are doing a big steak dinner over xmas though, and they like it rare! Not sure how I’ll navigate that… Hope that you all manage to get the support you need over Christmas and that you’re able to relax and enjoy it notwithstanding the challenges.

Hope you all have a glorious day!

@NetflixAndSauvignonBlanc I wasn't sick very often the first time round, just a few times. However, I had major nausea through the first trimester. This time, the nausea has started slightly later, but no sickness yet. Maybe it's a different gender for you this time?

@Digby86 guys don't have the same reaction to pregnancy as we do. From all my friends whi have babies, each of the tell me a very different story of how their partners have reacted. One just went on the playstation! I think they will get more excited as the time moves on but we have to remember they often feel very distanced from it all because they don't get any symptoms. Most likely it wont feel real for them until that first scan, possibly later.
Obviously if its upsetting you then have a chat about it but you're right it could just be hormones too!

Also anyone else getting nauseous at night? I'm not sure if I'm feeling sick in my sleep/dreams or if it's real. 🤢

I still don’t have any symptoms 4 weeks 5 days today. Not sure I count the waking up at 5 every morning as that could just be anxiety etc.

I have a massive phobia of being sick and feeling nauseous so I don’t want morning sickness, but it would reassure me

First morning since I found out 11 days ago that I haven’t taken a FMU test! I plan to test again on Christmas Day morning as we’ve decided to tell family on Christmas Day if all is well. I know I’ll only be 5 weeks but I would want their support if anything were to happen so I don’t really see the harm but we are going to have to really reiterate that it’s v early days so it’s best if we don’t all get too excited etc. Will eel bad saying that but it is early days.

Has anyone else told any family/ friends or do you plan to tell anyone Christmas Day?

@Digby86 My DH was exactly the same with our first pregnancy. I was obsessed and thinking about it all the time and he just didn't want to discuss it in case it all went wrong. It was hard for me because there was basically nothing else I wanted to talk about. He barely acknowledged the pregnancy up until I started to feel movements, then he seemed to accept it really was going to be okay and warm up to the baby. It helped that we named her virtually as soon as we knew the sex.

It's very different this time. We're both much more chill about it. I'm not obsessing or fretting nearly as much but when I do have something to say about pregnancy / baby, DH is perfectly happy to join in the conversation. I think we both just have a bit more trust in the process, or maybe it's just DD keeping us too busy to worry!

Blech, feel a bit rubbish this morning - gross taste in my mouth, gassy and mildly queasy. Slept well though!

Hi ladies

I hope it's okay to join. I am currently 4+5 with an IVF baby. I've currently got no symptoms other than increased hunger. My tests are nice and dark but the lack of symptoms are worrying me 😩 . Keep squeezing my boobs but they honestly are not sore at all.

Terrified of a mc tbh and hoping that the symptoms increase!

X

@Pearldrops04 I plan to tell my parents/close family over Christmas for the same reason. I'll be 7 weeks on boxing day but it's killing me to not have them know! Plus with all the alcohol flowing at Xmas it's gonna be hard not to say anything! But I agree, if the worst does happen, they'll be there for support. I think it's up to you though, do what you feel is best xx

@Digby86

Morning ladies! How are you all doing today?

@ksc912 how are you? I hope you haven’t had any more bleeding. As the others have said, it sounds like it’s not uncommon at this stage and hopefully doesn’t mean anything bad. But totally understand how scary it must be! I would probably call doc just to get some reassurance/be on the safe side. Thinking of you ❤️

@netflixandnochill @LiMc1 @Dontsaykwen thanks for the reassurance! I think I’m just being a bit over anxious. Think I’m going to stop poas as it’s clearly not helpful!! Maybe just do one more after xmas to make sure it’s still there… 😬

Can I ask another (possibly over sharing) question? How are your DPs acting about the pregnancy at the mo? Mine is such a cautious guy, and he’s very much of the attitude that he doesn’t want to get too invested until we’re out of the risky stage. Which is fine, and makes sense, but it’s a bit harder for me when I really FEEL very pregnant!! Like, I’m uncomfortable most of the time - my boobs and hips are very sore, and I have cramping on and off. I’m basically having an anxiety attack every time I go to the toilet, worried I’m going to have started bleeding. Plus am obviously having to figure out what’s what with midwife referral, appointments etc. So I kind of feel like he’s acting as though nothing has really changed, while for me everything has!

Not sure if I’m being really unreasonable/insane? Or if it’s fair to expect him to be more engaged with it at this stage. I want to have a chat with him about it, but guess I just kind of wanted a gauge on how people in the same boat are feeling! I am conscious I’m kind of an emotional wreck at the moment, so not sure how well I trust my own feelings… 🤣

My husband is quite similar, but I did say to him that he needs to remember he's pretty much the only person I can chat about it to, and that's helped.

I think it's worse this time because I was WAY ahead of myself in the last pregnancy and we lost it - which meant I did not cope very well at all.

I think they get better in time :)

I feel like my hormones went haywire at week 4 and have settled down now, just consistently sore boobs and horrendous bloating. Bit crampy today too but I'm trying to see that as a good thing!

I've told my mum so far, may tell my auntie tomorrow. Going to have to pretend to DP's parents that I never liked half of the lovely cheeses they've bought! Will tell close friends after Christmas, dreading it a bit as one has had a few losses, one recent, and I know she's going to be really upset. But I'd rather tell her earlier still.

@NetflixAndSauvignonBlanc

Good morning all, seems I'm late getting up this morning, haha. Second pregnancy ladies with morning sickness...were you sick the first time round? I just threw up a bit (sorry if you're reading this over breakfast!), it never happened to me last time (sorry, don't hate me!) and now I'm wondering if this time I might not escape without some sickness.

I'm on number 4 and I've never been sick ever. I do feel extremely nauseous every now and then but never sick. I've also found my gag reflex is in overdrive. I don't have to be feeling sick but something as simple as looking at cheese and I'll heave 😮‍💨 I was cooking pasta the other day which I've always done fine, but the smell set me off 🤮

I honestly don’t want what I’m about to say upset or offend anyone, but I’ve been thinking it for a few days now.

They say that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, in fact the NHS website says 1 in 8. Yet it’s ALL you seem to read about on mumsnet, across a lot of the forum but obviously mainly on the TTC and pregnancy boards. I am also on some TTC and pregnancy FB groups and it’s honestly all people post about on there too.

How can it possibly be 1 in 4, or 1 in 8?! It seems SO many people have had one. I’ve realised that constantly reading about them on here and on FB is what is adding to my anxiety.

It literally just seem impossible to keep a pregnancy if you go by the amount of people who have suffered a miscarriage on here and other boards, it seems disproportionate to the statistics?! Surely the statistics must be wrong?

I honestly don’t mean any of this in a horrible/ upsetting way. I just wonder whether our anxiety about losing these pregnancies is heightened due to the amount of people saying they’ve miscarried on here. These boards are a huge source of comfort and knowledge, especially in these early weeks so I wouldn’t want to leave them, but I definitely think reading about miscarriage all the time isn’t going to be great for anyone’s mental health, let alone a pregnant person’s.

I dunno, it just makes me feel really despondent and sad tbh because it seems getting a pregnancy to full term is actually nigh on impossible if you go by people’s comments on mumsnet and FB.

AIBU or does anyone else feel similar?

Sorry I should say, the above is NOT meant in a ‘I don’t want anyone to ever mention their loss’ type of way, not AT ALL.

I am purely curious as to whether the statistics must be wrong and the number is actually higher? Because it just seems it going by forums.

I’ve told anyone it’s come up with to be honest. Regardless of what happens, right now, I’m pregnant and if something goes wrong - I was still pregnant and will need the support. Work and extended family/friends are only the only people that I’d keep this from until c. 14 weeks.

I’m planning on having a harmony test at 10 weeks and my first nhs scan has come through for Valentine’s Day ❤️

My best friend has been TTC for about six months and I’m incredibly sensitive to how she’ll feel when I tell her so I’ve held back doing so over Xmas.

@Mufflette same as you - felt much more sick a week ago (4 weeks) and now on to the light cramps (hopefully ‘stretching’ - gross) and boobs have been sore for almost two weeks now.

@Prayingforabubba welcome and sending you lots of positive thoughts!

@Pearldrops04 The odds are, generally speaking, that everything will be absolutely fine. Of course you'll read a lot about miscarriage on forums like this, because people post for support etc. Every single person in this world is proof that many (most) pregnancies result with a baby. Please don't let it worry you. Of course these things can happen, but the odds are everything will be ok. I know how scary it is, I ruined my first pregnancy completely for myself. I spent the first half petrified of miscarriage, the second half of stillbirth. I didn't enjoy a minute. I just wanted him out and in my arms where I could know he was alive. It makes me really sad now, that I didn't enjoy a second. This may be my last pregnancy so I'm trying to think positive this time. You've got this. Your body is doing what it is designed to do, try and trust it

@Pearldrops04 don't apologise. It's important to be able to express how you are feeling. I do however think Mumsnet etc can be concentrated more so than people who do not have challenges when TTC / experience a miscarriage.

I personally feel I need to step away a little from googling everything and reading too much as it's making anxiety worse. However, I find this chat supportive in validating the feelings I'm experiencing with others who are in same position.

@netflixandnochill glad you've said that about sickness. Mines subsided the last few days but other symptoms are very much still there.

I've also told my sister and mum as we are all very close. I know I'd tell them if something happened so their support right now has been great.

@Prayingforabubba Welcome and congratulations! Please try not to read too much into your symptoms (or lack thereof) - everyone experiences them differently and you have a line, you're pregnant!

I won't be telling anyone until after the twelve week scan, though I completely understand the temptation!

@Pearldrops04 I agree, I feel anxious about things I never would have if I'd not seen them on here!

However, lots of things that have been posted on this thread this morning have felt particularly reassuring, so thank you all for that

@Pearldrops04

I honestly don’t want what I’m about to say upset or offend anyone, but I’ve been thinking it for a few days now.

They say that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, in fact the NHS website says 1 in 8. Yet it’s ALL you seem to read about on mumsnet, across a lot of the forum but obviously mainly on the TTC and pregnancy boards. I am also on some TTC and pregnancy FB groups and it’s honestly all people post about on there too.

How can it possibly be 1 in 4, or 1 in 8?! It seems SO many people have had one. I’ve realised that constantly reading about them on here and on FB is what is adding to my anxiety.

It literally just seem impossible to keep a pregnancy if you go by the amount of people who have suffered a miscarriage on here and other boards, it seems disproportionate to the statistics?! Surely the statistics must be wrong?

I honestly don’t mean any of this in a horrible/ upsetting way. I just wonder whether our anxiety about losing these pregnancies is heightened due to the amount of people saying they’ve miscarried on here. These boards are a huge source of comfort and knowledge, especially in these early weeks so I wouldn’t want to leave them, but I definitely think reading about miscarriage all the time isn’t going to be great for anyone’s mental health, let alone a pregnant person’s.

I dunno, it just makes me feel really despondent and sad tbh because it seems getting a pregnancy to full term is actually nigh on impossible if you go by people’s comments on mumsnet and FB.

AIBU or does anyone else feel similar?

Oh it's sad that you feel this way. I've felt that this has been the only place I can be open about my previous loss, and get comfort that I'm not the only one now feeling anxious in my new journey because of it.

Last time, I had no knowledge at all of how common misscarriage was - and I think personally that made my own experience far worse.

I apologise if I've upset people by posting about it. I won't mention it going forward.