Due June 2022 (thread five)

[PeeAche]

New thread!

@PeeAche Pregnancy is unremittingly awful. The baby at the end is fantastic, however, and I hated pregnancy so much that childbirth had no fear for me because it meant the end of it. Resentful as hell that beloved gets to be a parent without having to do any of this shit, mind you.

Thank you both. ❤️ I feel a freak for the amount I hate pregnancy. Even if I Google it, it seems like all the mumfluencer blog types talk about it in an abstract way: "I felt fat. Then I had a baby. The end."

I think perhaps they must have experienced some of the discomfort, dread and "is this the right thing?" feelings to start writing about it in the first place. But then maybe they lose their balls and worry if they talk negatively about pregnancy, they'll be judged.

There is a finite list of things women seem to be allowed to complain about:
Back ache;
Swollen ankles;
Feeling fat

Anything too emotive doesn't make the cut.

I've been having lots of very vivid dreams about people I used to know and haven't thought about in years. People I tried pot with in sixth form college, old uni friends and those "OMG this my jam" girls that you go out clubbing with in your early twenties.

Last night, I slept fitfully but kept dreaming of the year I spent in Copenhagen when I was 19. I met a French boy called Gwilliam and pretended I could ski to impress him. I had to panic-dump him before the ski trip with his parents, which he paid for. (This really happened to me). I relived it all last night. It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that pregnancy is making my youth feel "finalised" right?

I'm curious to know if other people are having incredibly vivid dreams too. And are they about your past?

Final question: how much sleep are you averaging? I'm getting about 4 hours per night. 😬 Sorry for the brain dump.xxx

Oh no, one more thing...

If I had to use just 1 word to describe my nipples right now, it would be:

Long.

That is not a word any woman wants associated with her nipples. Ever.

@peeache step away from the mumfluencers! :D I am with you. Pregnancy is horrid and I am very glad we are planning to stop at just this one. And that's without any of your crazy HG symptoms. I'm finding it less awful now the nausea has almost gone, but it's still not a pleasant state of existence.

Good luck getting hold of the midwife. That sounds ridiculous. Doesn't sound like there's anything time sensitive at the 16w mark, but maybe others know more. Can you go via whatever your referral method was (GP / EPU) if you still don't hear anything?

@PeeAche - you’re not a freak at all! I’ve had a pretty easy time compared to a lot of people here but even so, pregnancy is far from glowy. I wasn’t allowed to do my Pilates class until 16 weeks so now my glutes are pissed off and pelvis giving me problems. And I have a blocked ear that only goes away when I look down. Dr says this is “not a normal symptom” but google seems to think up to 30% of women can get this. Not sure I want another 5 months of not hearing properly! Anyhow, I think everything you are feeling and sharing is totally fair and accurate. I hope you get your midwife appointment, that’s one thing you really shouldn’t have to be chasing/worrying about. Sorry you’re having such a crappy time, hang in there!

Also @PeeAche - yes to the vivid dreams! Last night I dreamt my dead cat came back to meet me. 😅 And I keep feeling incredibly emotional / upset in dreams. Very strange indeed. When I dream about people from the past (especially those I lost touch with and feel guilty about) it’s mostly because of anxiety. The subconscious is good at acknowledging things our rational brain pushes aside. I do find an Epsom salt bath and listening to a Calm app meditation before bed helps me sleep better. I usually get 7 hours. Do you wear a fitness tracker? You can use them to track the sleep cycles, although it can also end up making you too aware of sleep. I personally like having it though.

@PeeAche I am not excited at all either, I don't think we are abnormal.
Not sure I can top your labia exactly but I've had to go to the doctor because my areola appears to be trying to grow a second and third nipple. Luckily no lumps but I'm being monitored because it was weird and doctor didn't really know what was going on, so that's great fun!
I do think week 16 is the magic turning point. I'm feeling a lot better now and ready to start some exercise again (yes I actually feel I have enough energy!). My only thing now is that I'm finding it a little "tight" leaning forward with my legs closed. And so it begins!
In other news my bathroom stinks of raw sewage that I can't find the source of yet which is pure joy when brushing your teeth makes you gag. Fml

@PeeAche I had my 16 week midwife appointment just before Christmas. I got to listen to the heart beat, they checked my wee and filled in my book and off I went. How annoying for you?!

I got my pushchair today, well put a deposit down as it has £600 off the whole set. My parents are kindly paying.

Is anyone else having their first baby and have overbearing parents? It's their first grandchild but my dad is fuming that my mum came with me to look at prams and he wasn't there when we ordered it. I wasn't even planning on getting one!

My dad is already naming her "grace" as in amazing grace and I'm fucking fed up of it. If I wanted my child to be named Grace, I would name her that myself (nothing wrong with the name Grace, btw) and it's so tiring and cringey. My baby will be lovely, obvs, but they are literally making out my baby is the next messiah.

Hope everyone is well

@PeeAche, I also hate being pregnant. I hated it the first time. I hate it more this time, partly because it's an unplanned baby, but more so because this baby is a PITA already. I don't like the hormone changes. I don't like the belly growth. I don't like feeling the baby move inside me. I don't like the nausea. I don't like being treated like I'm about to snap in half if I do anything at work. I don't like being asked if I should still be running. I don't like being taken off my role at work. I don't like how much I struggle with breathing in pregnancy. So yeah, I don't enjoy any of it.

On the sleep note, I got a weighted blanket for Christmas and it is incredible! A friend got it for me and I was dubious, but it's immediately relaxing and helped me sleep. I found a wedge pillow under my belly at kicker really useful last time too. I wish mothercare still existed so I could go and have a mooch around. Mamas and papas just isn't the same.

I had my covid booster Monday. Really sore arm but luckily nothing else. We also went and bought carpet for the nursery yesterday, so now have a time scale of 6 weeks to rip out the horrendous pipe work, fully plaster it and get 1 coat of white wash on the walls, if not fully painted. Oh and repair/replace the skirting boards. Oh I love my fixer upper 😅

I’ve not really enjoyed my pregnancy so far this time but I was glowing in my first pregnancy and loved it (apart from the last month when I got PUPPP).

This time I have pregnancy acne, nausea, acid reflux and round ligament pain 😂 however my bump is cute, I like that part ❤️

I had a really vivid dream the other day and I woke up crying. I’m not depressed but I had an awful dream that I committed suicide! 😭 thankfully it was all a dream but wow, it felt so real!!

Had my booster tonight. It was moderna.. I’m quite nervous as I was really unwell the day after the Pfizer second jab. Fingers crossed things are better this time as I’m anxious about the baby being ok

@PeeAche oh my god totally yes on the vivid dreams about the past. I have dreamt about every single boyfriend I've ever had (back to like age 12) and old friends and old parts of my life. I feel like my brain is trying to tie up loose threads or do some sort of spring clean to make space for this next part but I often wake up feeling shaken and is if I've been through some kind of emotional washing machine. They have mostly passed now but I was finding it emotionally exhausting a couple weeks ago. Made me feel like I was doubting every life decision I've ever made and generally just felt really wobbly.

I'm enjoying pregnancy/just general life more now that I'm not feeling shit all the time. Definitely cut yourself some slack, if you take a step back and look at all the stuff that's going on, why on earth would you enjoy it!? I'm only enjoying stuff because I'm on a break from work and feeling more like myself again and less stressed and sick! Also feeling sexy again and have definitely found that has helped me reconnect with myself and my husband, but that felt unimaginable to me a couple weeks ago!

@CurryandSnuggle I had mine on 23rd December and literally had a sore arm for the next day and that was it, fingers crossed its all okay for you too!

@PeeAche yes to all the things (except the pimples - as far as I know anyway, haven't ventured that way in a while!). It's my first time being pregnant and thus far I've not enjoyed it at all. I'm still waiting for the glow that I was promised!! Also worried about all the things, mostly about whether this was a good idea, despite the fact that it's clearly far too late for that question 😅 And the vivid dreams revisiting my youth are such a cliché, but yep having those too - although to be fair I thought that was more mid-life crisis than pregnancy 😬

I'm relieved to have come here for a brain dump and to find I'm not alone. (Except for my vagina pimples 🤢)

I've been crying all day but actually, reading some of your responses has really helped.

@CurryandSnuggle I had my Moderna last week and actually felt fine. My first two jabs were AZ and gave me hell. Moderna, just a sore arm.

Hey all, I’ve been lurking last few days and catching up on the thread, was hesitant to post as this is a much wanted pregnancy after 3 early losses, and have joined groups previously only to say goodbye and good luck, but I’m nearly 17 weeks now so felt it was safe enough 😆I am already a mum to a 6 year old. Due 11th June, anyone else?

Even though this is a much wanted pregnancy, Isit weird I still wonder if I’ve made the right decision to have another baby as I feel like I don’t know how to be a baby mum anymore as my sons older now? Maybe it doesn’t help I’ve suffered from horrible HG from 7 weeks and have been on anti sickness meds since then, and just haven’t been feeling myself, been off work for nearly 9 weeks but thankfully had abit of a turning point at 15+6 and feeling much better just icky and groggy now, anyways it’s so nice to be here! And @PeeAche I’m not really enjoying pregnancy either just want it to be June already, when my HG was at it worst I just wanted to be in a coma to be woken after I give birth! Ah have children they say it’ll be fun they say lol

Also yes to the insomnia literally can’t sleep all night I only get some sleep after it’s light outside, I can’t be sleeping more than 4 hours a night I think

Unfortunately I do have side effects from my booster. I got all dizzy this morning, it scared me so I laid on bathroom floor. Also have a bad stomach.

I’m quite anxious but going to try to work today to stop me panicking.

To be clear, the symptoms have made me anxious rather than anxiety causing the symptoms. I’m sure bubba is absolutely fine

@PeeAche pregnancy definitely isn't glamorous so far, I've started to enjoy it more in the last couple of weeks (18 + 1 now), although there is a still a definite absence of glow and I've got great acne instead!

I booked my 16 week appointment with my doctor's surgery, so that might be easier to get hold of if you are having problems with the midwife?

Just a shout out to all the mammas that are enjoying their pregnancy as well though, I'm sure there are some of you for whom it has all been fantastic and you lucky sods have that wonderful glow 😁 it really is amazing what our bodies are doing and every time I felt a bit down I just reminded myself of that and it definitely helped me.

@DiamondsInThe congratulations, I'm sure it's been quite stressful to this point, hopefully you can relax a little more now. You have proof positive that you've been a great mum once and so I'm sure it'll all come flooding back once bubba is here! I'm a first timer so literally swimming in the dark 😂

Oh my gosh yes to not enjoying pregnancy. Last night I think my bump literally popped out in the middle of the night and I went from being able to just about comfortably sleep in my usual stomach position to not being able to get comfy at all. My horrible constant nausea has only just gone but the exhaustion hasn't and now the sleep issues are very much here. also relate to the overbearing future grandparents @DaimDillyDoo. My mum is already driving me up the wall.

The miracle of life eh!

@DiamondsInThe "have children they say it’ll be fun they say" made me laugh 🤣 I'm waiting for the fun part too, June most likely - after the birth!

@CurryandSnuggle I was putting off the booster until the bloody nausea had passed, had the damn thing - felt rubbish all the next day, but fine after that. And of course safer when I'm out and about. Although it didn't stop me getting a rubbish head-cold. When the cold moves on I'm going to be glowing though, right? Right? 😟

Ladies, nausea or no, get your booster!

It's worth it. Omicron is everywhere. We have it in my house right now and, thanks to all our jabs, it is no worse than a common cold.

@DaimDillyDoo My family are not usually overbearing, but my grandma has been bombarding us with pregnancy chat. My husband was still wearing his coat and untying his shoelaces and she was saying he looked "very fatherly" and asking him how excited he was about the baby My mum on the other hand has regaled me with breastfeeding horror stories.

I feel pretty neutral about being pregnant at the moment. Really disliked the exhaustion and nausea in the first trimester - and the idea that I might feel like that for ever. That's mostly receded now, so I'm left with painful swollen boobs, ridiculous constipation and headaches any time I don't drink enough water. Not exactly glowing here either, but at least feeling a lot more normal than a month ago. Making the most of it before the third trimester doom begins.

@destiEos Fingers crossed you will be glowing 🤞

Has anyone here had any bleeding in the second trimester? I'm 15 weeks and I have some bright red blood. No pain.