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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Due June 2022 (thread three)

999 replies

CB87 · 04/11/2021 16:59

Thread three 🙂

OP posts:
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9
beansprout55 · 15/11/2021 12:31

Any of you had lower back ache? Mines hurt all morning and naturally paranoid somethings going wrong 🙄😂

Prema112 · 15/11/2021 12:49

Thanks everyone xx

@beansprout55 Yes, I have a bit of lower back pain which was worrying me before the scan but I think it's just part of the normal stretching and growing

Prema112 · 15/11/2021 12:52

@destiEos How was your journey home?

jennixxx · 15/11/2021 12:56

@PeeAche Nah i dont have any other friends really due to my abusive relationship and i was made to stop working aswell because every job would get suspicious of my injuries etc, i am looking into jobs right now tho. thank you xxxx

Prema112 · 15/11/2021 12:57

@jennixxx I missed your post before, so sorry to hear what you've been through, and so glad you got out of that relationship. I hope we can be a bit of a support network to you on here x

3yearstrying · 15/11/2021 13:14

@PurpleMoon12 im pretty sure laws state you dont have to answer until closer to the end of maternity x

3yearstrying · 15/11/2021 13:23

@jennixxx theres an app called Mush i believe, uk based and its a bit like Tinder for mum friends! You can customize searches to near you and find like minded mums and many meet up throughout the year. Take a look it may be helpful for when you have no antenatal classes etc x

CurryandSnuggle · 15/11/2021 13:25

@Prema112 congratulations, such wonderful news, I’m so happy to read this!! ❤️ Xxx

PeeAche · 15/11/2021 13:26

@PurpleMoon12 they are entitled to ask you, but you do not have to stick with what you said. So say yes!!!

PeeAche · 15/11/2021 13:27

(You can change your mind later and hand in your notice as normal while on mat leave)

PurpleMoon12 · 15/11/2021 13:29

@3yearstrying

Thanks! The question took me by suprise

PurpleMoon12 · 15/11/2021 13:30

@PeeAche thanks, great advice! 🙂

rathernotshare · 15/11/2021 13:38

Does anyone know whether maternity leave is accrued before or after you take it? We get 6 months full pay but I'm planning on returning part time, so would I get paid my current wage or my wage after I get back?

rathernotshare · 15/11/2021 14:00

Also, I was told I may have something seriously sinister (can't even type it) over 2 weeks ago and have still not been seen. You're meant to be seen within 2 weeks regardless, and I'm pregnant on top of that! It's absolute madness, I don't even have an appointment yet. Really trying not to stress but it's unbelievable!

PeeAche · 15/11/2021 14:01

@rathernotshare - Current wage. If you can, don't disclose your intention to return part time until you leave for mat leave. Once you have had your baby, touch base with work to tell them you have given birth then tell them when you next intend to make contact. They have the right to contact you throughout mat leave, as long as it is reasonable. (So not every day and not to ask about work). They also have the right to ask you each time what your intentions are. It would be best to make your intention to return part time known about 2-3 months into your leave. They do not have to grant you this request.

Of course, if you feel able, you can tell them you intend to return part time at any point. But remember they are running a business...

Vimto1991 · 15/11/2021 14:13

@rathernotshare 6 months paid!! Wow! My company off statutory. I get 6 weeks 90% pay and then £150 a week. Not even sure how I’m going to cope on that, but it raised plenty of savings. You’re very lucky to get that much!!

Prema112 · 15/11/2021 14:18

@rathernotshare Gosh sorry to hear you still haven't been seen! That's not good. I think the NHS is really struggling, my dad needs an urgent procedure- as in his condition could be life threatening, and he was told 4-6 weeks ShockHave you chased? I would chase

Wellthiswasunexpected · 15/11/2021 14:36

Didn't sleep at all last night, spent the whole thing crying instead! My symptoms have all but disappeared now, except for the depression, so went into my dating scan today with the worst possible outlook... Turns out little creature is fine :) Was swimming around flapping its arms and legs, turning over now and then before stopping on its back to take this picture! Cyst still the same size, but no pain. Measuring 10+3.

Hope this provides some reassurance, @MrsNT, @Clomid1 and others who worry about not feeling particularly pregnant - stay positive, you got this.

Due June 2022 (thread three)
PeeAche · 15/11/2021 14:36

Here's a quick run down of mat leave law:

You must tell your employer at least 15 weeks before the week you are due to give birth. The week you are due to give birth is your 40th week and is calculated from the Sunday. So, if you are 40 weeks on Tuesday 14th June 2022, your week you are due to give birth begins on Sunday 12th June and you must notify them sometime between Sunday 20th February and Sunday 27th February 2022. This is known as your Notification Week. However, you can tell them as soon as you feel able. The sooner you tell them, the simpler it will be to take time off for appointments etc.

You are entitled to time off for all pregnancy related appointments. This includes classes such as birthing or parenting classes. It can also include exercise and mental health appointments, if your midwife or consultant has recommended them.

Your company will have their own maternity policy. The most generous policies award 12 months at full pay. Some policies offer 3 months at 90% of pay followed by statutory maternity pay.

The absolute minimum that an employer must offer is: 6 weeks at 90% of your pay THEN EITHER 33 weeks at £151.20 per week OR 33 weeks at 90% of your pay - whichever is LOWER.

"Pay" in this case, is an average amount calculated from the 8 weeks before your last pay day before the start of your mat leave.

This constitutes SMP (statutory maternity pay).
SMP is claimed back from the government so you will NEVER be required to pay this amount back.

Your employer MUST confirm with you (in writing) how much SMP you can expect, when it will start and when it will stop.

SMP begins when you start your mat leave OR if you are signed off work by a doctor or midwife with a pregnancy related illness in the last 4 weeks before the week that your baby is due (week 40)

You are eligible for SMP if you have been with your employer throughout your pregnancy and you are still with your employer in the 15th week before your baby is due.

You must give your employer evidence of your pregnancy at least 21 days before mat leave begins. Your midwife will give you the correct form (MATB1) when you are around 20-24 weeks pregnant.

If you leave your job (dismissed, made redundant) after the 15th week before baby is due, you are still eligible for SMP.

If you are not eligible for SMP, you will likely be eligible for Maternity Allowance benefit instead.

Your employer is entitled to "keep in touch" with you during your mat leave but they should not hassle you or make you feel uncomfortable. Your employer is entitled to ask you what you intend to do upon return to work, but you do not need to "stick" to what you have said, and they cannot force you to. Your employer is not required to offer flexible working or reduced hours to you upon return to work (although most do). Your employer is entitled to ask you outright if you are pregnant. You do not need to tell them, but it would be a very awkward conversation indeed.
Your employer does not need to hold your exact position for you when you return to work but they MUST offer you a position of equal pay and responsibility.
You can still be considered for and made redundant during maternity leave. If you are considered for redundancy you would still need to attend meetings and interviews about this at your normal place of work, or somewhere no further away than your normal place of work. You cannot refuse to attend due to maternity leave (unless you are happy to accept redundancy) and they have to allow you enough time to make child care arrangements etc. in order to attend any meetings.
If you decide not to go back to work after mat leave, you must submit your notice in the usual fashion and in line with your contractual obligations.

If your employer offers their own more generous maternity scheme, (usually called something like "enhanced maternity pay") they CAN ask you to repay any amounts that were over and above SMP, if you decide not to go back to work.
They cannot make you pay it back in one lump sum and they should make you aware of this stipulation before you go on maternity leave.

You and your partner can use Shared Parental Leave if you are both eligible. You can share up to 50 weeks of leave and 37 weeks of pay between you. You need to take all of this leave and pay in the first year after your child is born. You can take leave in blocks separated by periods of work, or all in one go. You can choose to be off work together, or to stagger the leave and pay.
To qualify you must both have been employed continuously by your employers for 26 weeks (6 months) up to the end of the 15th week before your due date and you must stay with the same employer until you start your SPL.

Sorry for the essay.xxx

PeeAche · 15/11/2021 14:41

@Wellthiswasunexpected

Didn't sleep at all last night, spent the whole thing crying instead! My symptoms have all but disappeared now, except for the depression, so went into my dating scan today with the worst possible outlook... Turns out little creature is fine :) Was swimming around flapping its arms and legs, turning over now and then before stopping on its back to take this picture! Cyst still the same size, but no pain. Measuring 10+3.

Hope this provides some reassurance, @MrsNT, @Clomid1 and others who worry about not feeling particularly pregnant - stay positive, you got this.

Oh this picture is so cute!!!! How is it so clear? Was it transvaginal??
HWka · 15/11/2021 14:53

@hudasalem so sorry. Please take some time and look after yourself, take the support from family and friends if you can xxx

Wellthiswasunexpected · 15/11/2021 14:56

@PeeAche I've just been reading back through yesterday's thread, got to your scan updates and started welling up. I'm so, so happy for you. You more than deserve this outcome! Woohoo.

My scan was an abdominal scan. Annoyingly the midwife said it's still not possible to read the heartbeat given it's not clear enough, yet to me the picture is super high quality so... no idea. Very confusing!

@Prema112 Also congratulations to you, what a massive relief after the ordeal you had!

blueberryy · 15/11/2021 14:57

Congrats @Wellthiswasunexpected ! I am keenly hoping that all my symptoms disappear too haha 9 weeks today so perhaps one more hell week to go.

Wellthiswasunexpected · 15/11/2021 14:59

@hudasalem I'm so sorry, I've just seen your update. Wishing you all the strength and support over the coming weeks, take care of yourself x Flowers

MrsNT · 15/11/2021 15:04

@Wellthiswasunexpected omg that picture 😍 God Bless him/her with a healthy life xx my heart is just melting looking at it....

And @peeache thanks hun xx