Due July 2022

[jcar87]

Anyone else find out they are due in July ? My dates work out to be right at the end of June/July so I thought I'd start a July thread for us seeing as there is a few June ones going.

Anyone else got a + tests lately I got mine yesterday and then another today. Got a few more test to doing over the next week to see if they get darker.

Hope to have some more July ladies join me there is a few of us on the June thread and Facebook group already I'll try to tag you ladies Xxx

* [link removed by MNHQ]* **

Sending lots of strong vibes to the belly rub @Missy95!

@Missy95 stay strong and stay positive ❤️ You got this girl xxx

Thank you ladies ❤️

@Missy95 - if you feel ok, shopping might be a good distraction from all this, and it’s not too physically demanding. But see how you feel in the morning. ❤️

I have read a few comments about people being worried to tell family and close friends- but if you have good relationships with them, please tell them- you won’t ‘jinx’ anything. It’s different if you have toxic family members, of course.

Unfortunately I have miscarried before- and having to tell people your baby has died is not the worst part. Prior to the MC I told my immediate team in work (we are close and I needed them to cover me when I was vomiting), my very supportive boss (because I was so sick), my parents and a handful of close friends.

When I did miscarry- I actually found myself utterly cocooned in love. Everyone knew the weight of what happened and stepped up. Work accepted a 5 week sick note, my mum was always there to speak to the hospital, my friends sent me care packages.

If something had gone wrong- I’d have felt more alone.

So please- tell your nearest and dearest about your pregnancy if you really want to. Celebrate your baby

I have done the same thing again- just hoping for a different result.

100% agree with @Suprima. I know people are different and there's a right or wrong with when to tell people.

But for me I have told my family and closest friends. I think the 12 week wait to tell is a symptom of the patriarchy where we are made to feel that baby/pregnancy loss is a taboo.

When I lost my pregnancy in August, I'd already told a similar number of people, and they were all absolute angels when I lost it. I wanted people to know I was having a miscarriage because it was traumatic and I needed my people around me. I don't think anything I did when I was pregnant before (e.g. downloading apps, telling people) made the miscarriage harder — it was always going to be shit either way!

So I have made the choice to do the same this time and just enjoy/embrace being pregnant even if it doesn't stick. But I know for others that those things can be really triggering. Just make the choice that feels right for you, not just the one you think you should do because society tells you to!

Sorry ramble over!

And @Missy95 I'm so sorry you're going through that anxiety — crossing fingers and toes for you

*there's no right or wrong!

Interesting inputs @bagelcreamcheese and @Suprima , this is what my OP is trying to tell me. There is no shame or guilt over embarrassment over MC.
I have been thinking how to keep pregnancy a secret - suggesting 'no booze November' , dry January .... and he said why lie? Why can't be just say: 'I'm pregnant. It's early days. So we're cautious still'. And move on with the conversation?

I'm starting to listen to him on this. We're going out with another couple for dinner on the weekend and ive been trying to come up with the no drinking excuse.
But now I feel relieved that I can just be honest

@bagelcreamcheese & @Suprima I am the same I have told close family and friends I no I would need the support either way ❤️

Also ladies I’m having like a poking sensation just under my upper right ribs could this be gas/indigestion? Started in the night not painful at all just wierd .... any ideas would be helpful as I’m anxious lol xxx

Completely with you @Suprima and @bagelcreamcheese (and sorry for your loss, Suprima).

We don't go shouting it to everyone but I've told my best friends and sister, and my husband has told his brother, just because we were excited and wanted to share but also they would be our support if anything goes wrong. It feels funny but I remind myself that telling people doesn't make something bad happen, just as sadly not telling people doesn't stop it happening. but I also love having a super precious lovely secret that is just between me and my husband, and I can understand caution - telling people does make it more 'real' and then I get more excited - so I can see both sides!

Also, when not drinking, I honestly think it's easier to 'hide' if you just don't mention that you're not drinking if we feel comfortable with the people we are with we either just say straight out, "super early days pregnant, not celebrating yet as being cautious" and then our friends usually just say a little ooh congrats then we move on the conversation. OR I just accept a drink and nurse it and swap it for something soft at an opportune moment! (or my husband delights in drinking it for me). Even if people do notice, they should be respectful enough not to mention it unless you do!

Certainly we have had friends round for dinner or been out and if I notice someone isn't drinking and they don't say anything I wouldn't mention it and then I usually forget until 6 weeks later when they 'announce'! but if someone says they're on antibiotics - you KNOW! and then I find it more awkward because everyone has to pretend that they don't know really...!

@Suprima and @bagelcreamcheese - thank you so much for that insight ladies. Neither my sister in law nor any of my friends - bar 1 - told me or any friends before 12 weeks, so I don’t really have an example to follow on this. In the past I’ve guessed a few friends were pregnant before (when they’ve refused alcohol) but I didn’t say anything, and then a few weeks later they announced they were pregnant, after the 12w scan.

I agree it’s good to have the support in the period before the 12w, especially if not everything goes smoothly… I actually told a gym instructor before class this morning and it was such a weight off my mind!! So thanks everyone for recommending I do it ASAP.

@laurenGame - it’s tricky with the alcohol excuse with friends, if you don’t want to tell them. So far I’ve said I’m having a “short” break from alcohol as we just got back from a very indulgent champagne filled honeymoon (where we conceived!🎉 ! Right at the end luckily so I could enjoy everything guilt free 😂!!!), so it kind of makes sense.
But that excuse probably won’t work again in a few weeks when I need to use it with a night out boozy group of friends. So maybe I’ll just tell them. Not decided yet…

I would prefer to tell my mum in person and I won’t see here for another 4 weeks (she lives at the other end of the country) so that’s a tough one.

So glad to have you all for this advice, especially those who have gone through this before but also the newbies like me!! ❤️❤️

@Missy95 hope you're feeling ok today! got everything crossed for you x

@beansprout55 it could well be nothing I really hope so! try and just stay positive. xx

@Effram - so true - “telling people doesn't make something bad happen, just as sadly not telling people doesn't stop it happening” - great reminder.

@Effram thank you, feeling a bit down in the dumps if im honest. Have had what is like a light period this morning; but only when I wipe. Having the day to rest and continuing to monitor. Still not in any pain which is good, but I can't help but feel gloomy xx

@Missy95 - sending you lots of love and strength. This is such a tough time as it’s just so unknown. Good sign you’re not in pain though. Hope it all turns out to be fine. ❤️

Morning all, just catching up on all your messages but have something weighing on my mind and would be great to hear others experiences. I'll try to keep it short.

Since I've told my other half I'm pregnant he's been really off with me and acting strange. We have been trying for a year and a half and had booked an appointment for IVF consultation so I didn't expect this reaction. He already has an 11 year old son from previous marriage and I guess it was more me that wanted to try. He said his only concern was not getting enough sleep or our relationship breaking down. I just wanted to be positive.

We are a strong couple and had been planning a wedding (he even said he would take my name because he knows how important it is to me to have a connection with my Dad who is no longer with us). I've tried to talk to him to say I just need him to be nice and more supportive and that I think there is an issue but he just says he is fine and I am being over sensitive. He makes jokes about the pregnancy and baby and is so dismissive if I tell him I don't feel good or worry something might be wrong and just tells me it's fine. He even tried to get me to help him wallpaper the other night at 9:30 when I was so cold I was shaking and exhausted that I just had to lay down.

I've told him he should speak to a close friend to sort his thoughts out in his head. I honestly feel a bit lost and like I've made the wrong decision when I wanted this so much 😢 has anyone else experienced this or have any words of wisdom? Am I being over sensitive? Honestly don't know how to feel or what to do.

Aww @DawnWW that sounds really hard. I think your suggestion he chats to a friend are good. I think it is hard for the partners sometimes - it's less real (and it doesn't even feel THAT real to me yet tbh!) yet a huge impending change of dynamic and a load of extra responsibility.

I am sure he will come round if you give him a few days to process it. Have you got close friends near you to confide in?

My best friend lives miles away but we do speak often and I sent her my stick pic for confirmation. I am hoping a few days to sink in will help and for him to talk about it.

He has been sweet since posting actually and making sure I'm ok, asking how the poppy seed is, making me a decaf tea etc hopefully will improve over the next few days.

Guess I was hoping others had experienced something similar if this was not there first it was a surprise. Might plan to have a proper sit down chat on Sunday if it doesn't get better. I told him on Saturday so it hasn't been long yet and maybe I should give it more time. I just need him to be happy and positive about this but I think it's a massive shock (even though we were trying) and he's struggling to absorb it 🤷🏼‍♀️

@DawnWW I was discussing the big life plans we have with my OP until (without being too outing, it's related to travel, relocation) and he said: 'the baby threw a spanner in the works'. I got annoyed at that use of words.

What he meant is that i our plans will need to adjust now, whereas I said it sounds like a negative thing like 'this baby got in the way'. I had a go at him and he is the loveliest kindest man who is really excited to become a dad.

Anyway what I'm saying is please go east on yourself - our hormones are all over the place at the moment, it's easy for me personally to feel overly sensitive, and downright suspicious.
I think the fact he is being now now is good, maybe he was having a bad day? It is a bit strange he said 'if your relationships will survive a new baby', what kinda fucking stupid comment is that? Baby is not even here and he's already saying this, plus how is that supposed to make you feel? He needs to have more believe in your relationship.

My OP does seem to be really cool about this whole baby thing. I'm not a scientist but I suspect we as women already have a strong maternal urge to our baby whereas men don't until the baby is born? I'm not sure, would be interesting to hear others' experiences

@DawnWW I'm glad he's being a bit more thoughtful. I have found it hard both pregnancies but esp the first as although I knew my husband was excited, he doesn't really get excited or show it in the same way as me... he's not fussed about reading all the books or apps, and I know he just did find it hard to bond/relate with the bump. I don't think until second time around he got how physically demanding pregnancy is, I've been lucky with my pregnancies so could do most stuff although it would take it out of me so he didn't really see it. BUT once baby was here he was an amazing dad. Interestingly when we started telling people he would light up and I loved him talking to other people about it - but he would never be the same with me really! I know he really worried about finances etc when I was off work so I think he had that all in his head and got ahead of himself. xxx

Just got my booking appointment through for 15th Nov! But like @Pinklemonade16 It is on the phone which I do think is a bit naff. That's the big appointment too so it's not best practice in terms of continuity of care or anything as harder to build rapport over the phone. I think that maternity bosses love the excuse to keep phone appts as they can be more 'efficient' that way, and I think mothers-to-be miss out, although I doubt the midwives like it very much either!

Last time my booking appointment was f2f then it was lockdown and I didn't see a midwife again until 24 weeks (second baby so fewer appts). It seemed bonkers.

Ooooh @Effram my booking in app is nov 15th too!!!

I got my booking in appointment today too for 26th Nov. Luckily it's a F2F one. I'll be 8/nearly 9 weeks by then. Feels like ages away right now. Can't come soon enough!