Due end of January 2022 - Thread 2

[expectinglittlebear]

We are about to max out our thread, so starting the next one!

@spttc @tangfastic91 @thecapitalsunited @alle1991 @sociallydistained @jonesy88 @erin87 @essekey @erinrose82 @bobblewobble1 @loll84 @dolly0706 @kayl23

I hope that's everyone! Tag away if not :)

@EsseKey I have literally bought nothing 🤣 one little dress and about 3 baby grows. That's it.

@spttc phew glad I am not the only one ahahah

I haven't bought much either! We've got the pram and the cot and a few clothes but that's it. I've planned for us to sit and make a big list this weekend cause I wanna try and be ready before Christmas really! Also need to start emptying out the bedroom that's going to be babies room, which I'm dreading cause it's just full of junk at the minute!

It's good to start early. We haven't bought anything for the baby yet. Still need to find the pram and cot. Got few baby vests and little presents from parents and friends. To be done by Christmas is a good plan @Kayl23

I have annual leave in a couple of weeks so plan to do a big clear out and figure out what I actually have and don't have! Hoping not to need much as we have all the big things etc. I think the trouble with buying for babies is everyone has different ideas of what's "essential" so it's a bit of a minefield.

I managed to get a maternity coat in the sale which I'm pleased about. Got away with not having one last time. Also got a couple of jumpers. Everything else was left over from last time.

Has anyone else sorted their maternity leave at work yet? I feel like I'm on countdown now I know when I'm going off!!

@spttc We have decorated the nursery already, well in terms of actual paint etc. Two walls are a plain white and the other two opposite walls are wallpaper - a blush pink with like green and gold palm leaves sort of thing. If that makes any sense haha! Thinking of putting up some shelves or maybe having some wall stickers on the white walls.

@sociallydistained I haven't spent too much on maternity wear thankfully, but I have definitely been spending more on clothes recently! Rather than buying specific maternity wear, I have been buying floaty dresses etc, so I can also still wear them when I no longer have a bump - makes me not feel so bad for spending money on clothes haha, if I feel like I am going to be able to keep wearing them after baby is here! I am definitely looking pregnant now too, luckily I haven't put on too much weight in places other than my bump (although that will probably change!) so I actually look pregnant rather than just a little chubby haha!

@EsseKey We haven't got any of the big items yet, just a few smaller ones - some clothes, blankets, baby bath etc. Going to be ordering the majority of it all next week after payday I think! But yes I agree, I have no idea what essentials I will need. I have asked mr google and all the lists on there contradict each other - some say you need certain things for definite and others say that they arent that important..!

@BobbleWobble1 For maternity leave I have had a brief chat with my boss, and I have drafted up an email ready to send. Just awaiting on my MATB1 cert which I will get at my 25 week appointment mid October. Then I will formally give work my plan.

But my plan so far is:
Christmas Eve - Last working day physically in office (34 weeks)
Christmas holidays - off work (35 weeks)
4th Jan - At work full time but WFH
Baby arrival - Mat leave starts
6 weeks mat leave @ 90% SMP
2 weeks annual leave
(So 8 weeks "off" work in total)
Then back to work full time but WFH for the foreseeable so I can still be at home with baby, but earning full wage & only needing to get the occasional childcare from Mum if I need to go in the office for any important meetings.

Thankfully, even though my work aren't offering any enhanced maternity pay, they are being very flexible with me working full time while being at home with baby after my "leave".

I am an office manager and PA, so apart from the occasional meeting, I can easily just work from a laptop and mobile. I am only really 'busy' when I am in the office as I am pulled too and from smaller not so important meetings - but whenever I work from home, its such an easy job haha.. so I am confident I will easily be able to do any work I need to while baby is asleep or while BF etc.

Have you worked out what you want to do yet?

@expectinglittlebear indeed, that's so confusing!
and I think I will also need your help ladies, I don't know if there is some language barrier problem here (english is not my first language) but I find it difficult to understand some of the baby items in the lists...even with the help of google (soooo embarassing ahahah)! I mean, they talk about vests, babygrows, onesies, etc etc etc...in my mind they all look the same so there must be some sort of subtle difference that I don't get but is probably important! :D

Was meant to add that I am basically planning on working full time up to the point of baby being here - but as I mentioned, when I WFH my job is easy so I know it won't be stressful or anything and will still be able to relax on the lead up to baby being here!

@EsseKey I think vests are short sleeved and no legs, whereas babygros have full legs and long sleeves. I think baby onesies and babygros are basically the same thing x

So the USA travel ban is being lifted in nov. We had planned we might go before it lifts (ban doesn't apply to us we are US citizens). We had planned New York as they have mask mandates, lower cases than us etc. We're both fully vaccinated. Hoping flights would be less busy as only US citizens can go right now etc. In my shoes would u go? It's really just the flight im worried about, I think maybe Iv been cooped up too long and im just not used to people anymore and am being over cautious 🤣 Iv literally been nowhere since March 2020....no shows, weddings, events, flights, nothing

@expectinglittlebear you're so organised!! We are doing shared parental leave, 5 months each, in total, but (hopefully) in blocks. Think it'll be a bit of a HR headache, as they have to liaise, but we plan to swap 2.5 months in, 2.5 months out etc. Our jobs wouldn't allow cover, so this benefits the employer and our colleagues also.

A tip, get your partners to check if their policy has been updated in the last 2-3 years. Turns out my partner gets 💯 pay for 4.5 months, to be taken any time in the first year. Mine is also full pay I think, I just have to clarify that mine can be taken any time in the 1st year. Anyone else done this shared leave before and can advise how to go about it?

Re baby items, I'm getting the bare minimum. I figure we can always buy new clothes later on, and until they're here, we won't know how big they are etc. I have some donated newborn and 0-3 month clothes that my friends babies didn't even get around to wearing, as they had too much and the babies were bigger than expected so outgrew them

@spttc yes I'd go personally, if it's soon and not in your last trimester! But to be honest I've tried to weigh up the risks and just get on with my life. So I'm back at work, have been to 2 hens and a wedding, have been on UK holidays, and hoping for a little abroad break once I get my 2nd vaccine in three weeks. Just would get a good mask for the flight, and have been careful with (ie not gone to) any packed pubs or bars or restaurants, and have taken lateral flos quite a lot.

@expectinglittlebear ahahah thanks! to me those have all the same name, you just add "long sleeves", "short sleeves" etc... 😂

@spttc I perfectly understand how you feel! It was no US but I have travelled to EU this year after more than 12 months basically in isolation! I was a bit worried, and the risks are of course higher than just staying at home, but the benefit for my mental wellbeing has been immense! So, if it were me, I would go! Especially since I don't know how comfortable I would be in a couple of months because of the pregnancy, and who knows if it will be feasible at all to travel when baby is here!

I had a chat with HR yesterday, they confirmed that I will get the company benefit of 9 months maternity leave on full pay, which is great! I will also take extra 3 months unpaid plus all the (paid) holidays that I will accrue during the mat leave. My partner unfortunately won't have much paternity leave and still has to discuss it with his boss, he is still on a scholarship until April so the rules are a bit different! but I feel lucky enough already with what I have!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 yes it would be before November as we want to go before everyone in Europe and uk can go so it will be less busy/manic etc 😂 maybe I will go 🤩🙈 I sort of almost wanted confirmation I'm not crazy to think of it. It's hard to know what's too cautious and what's not cautious enough.

@EsseKey yeh this is my thought that we need a few little trips away before baby for our mental health etc. In New York the restrictions are very similar to Ireland in that you need to be fully vaccinated to go to Broadway shows, restaurants, bars etc and manditory masks so I feel it's not the worst option. Especially if we get there in October before the borders fully open etc

Maybe I'll go! Thanks ladies!

@expectinglittlebear I'm NHS so very lucky to have a pretty decent maternity package. I'll be working from home from 28 weeks (mid October) which will save me a nasty commute so I'm pleased about that. I'll use up my annual leave from mid December so my last I'll be just over 36 weeks. Plan to start maternity leave from due week then take a year off. I'll also tack most of the annual leave I've accrued onto the end.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 we considered shared parental leave but OH just doesn't get anything like what I do so it's really not worth it for us. That's great you can both get full pay. My OH is going to take 2 weeks paternity leave then 2 weeks annual leave when baby comes. He just did paternity last time but I wish in hindsight he'd had a little longer.

I am just a nanny on stat and if I can get a replacement I know (who can take over flexibly) I may just work until I drop 😬 work being right next to the hospital (and home not). I know this is maybe not the best plan and my bosses will prob want to give me a leave date before the due date but I am honestly just so worried about money 😩

@sociallydistained I'm planning to work right up to my date too, and the hospital I picked is really close to work! I don't know how this will be in practice, as there's no telling how we'll be feeling by 36/38 weeks etc 🤷‍♀️ I do have some annual leave I'll save up and effectively be part time for the last trimester

It wouldn't work for everyone but I don't think it's totally unrealistic to work right up to due date as it depends on what you do. In my first pregnancy, I stopped at 37 weeks in a full time busy job where I was on my feet all day. I was exceptionally well though and honestly could have gone longer. You can always go sooner if you have to but it's harder to go later if you find you could keep going.

I look after three children and just try and see it like what would I do if I was a mum who had to still look after her children whilst pregnant. I can probably get help with the school run etc too later on. But will have to see how it goes I guess!

I’ve been thinking about maternity leave today as I’ve got quite a lot of AL I need to use up this year/Jan 2022. I really want to work right up until my due date but not sure when I should use my AL. The last few weeks before baby is here I’ll be working from home and I don’t want to be just sat about waiting for baby to arrive, wasting paid leave.

Has someone started the conversations off at work with their LM/HR? Im thinking of doing it when I’ve got my MATB form in a few weeks

@Alle1991 my idea is to start mat leave a few days before my due date (if i feel ok etc.). I have a desk based work so I hope I will be able to work until late in pregnancy. I also have some annual leave days (2021) that I need to use before baby arrives... But I think I will just use them around Christmas, it will be a bit risky to leave them for January, because if baby arrives sooner than expected then I would lose them 🤔

On clothes I just rented a maternity winter coat - I get to keep it through until spring, it’s less than half the price of buying it and also kind of like recycling which I like the idea of. Bought a couple of pairs of leggings and one of jeans and for now I am just wearing own tops that still fit - baggy winter jumpers are going to be a godsend!

Oh thats interesting @tinydancingbean, where did you find to rent a coat from?
We haven't bought any baby stuff here yet but getting some donations from my sister soon.

I'm looking forward to winding down at work, have my last night shifts before mat leave next week and then soon I will be cutting down to no more than maximum 50 hrs in a week which will be much easier to manage with pregnancy fatigue!

@SouthwestSis I got it from www.bellesandbabes.co.uk/ - they rent out maternity clothes and kids clothes too. Coat arrived today and is like new and even have a reusable bag to return it i