Due end of January 2022 - Thread 2

[expectinglittlebear]

We are about to max out our thread, so starting the next one!

@spttc @tangfastic91 @thecapitalsunited @alle1991 @sociallydistained @jonesy88 @erin87 @essekey @erinrose82 @bobblewobble1 @loll84 @dolly0706 @kayl23

I hope that's everyone! Tag away if not :)

Anyone else still feeling/being sick? Ive had a very straight forward pregnancy so far. Had nausea in the beginning and was sick maybe twice and then from 13 weeks onwards been feeling alright. Then all of a sudden this past week I've been feeling so sick and been sick a few times. Im 18 weeks now so didn't think i'd now be feeling like this so far in.

Yes I’m glad you posted this, for the past week my nausea has come back and smashed me in the face! Just feeling really grim, also period like cramps, no bleeding. I think it’s more growing/stretching pains

@Alle1991 yes I've also had the period type cramps and sometimes if I've been laying down and get up it feels like I've pulled something in my tummy!

I think I felt my first braxton hicks last night! I felt a weird tightening/crampy feeling and felt just above my pelvic bone it felt like a hard lump was there. I got hubby to feel it too and we were baffled, it felt rock solid, like the muscle does when you have a leg cramp. It went away very quickly after.
Just googled it and this mumsnet thread made me realise it was probably braxton hicks www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3838056-Tight-hard-lump-in-lower-abdomen-that-comes-and-goes-16-weeks
Being my first pregnancy, I never knew it started this early!

Hi all! Due jan 29th too here! Still feeling sick at 16 weeks but not as bad as I was so I’m hoping it will go soon. 3rd preg but unexpected as other 2 were ivf!
Hope everybody is feeling well this morning x

Just out of curiosity.. as I'm waiting for the 20 week scan and I plan to ask what the gender is, who believes in the nub theory?

I struggle to see what they're looking at in anyone's 12 week scans. My sister found out a few weeks ago she's having a boy. I have a feeling my second is a girl, I already have a daughter (it would be nice to have a boy but I'll be happy either way)

@AIC2015 I actually don't know anything about it. Iv seen people talking about Ramsay theory aswell....Duno if that's the same thing? I found out so early I didn't have time for theories 😅🤣 9weeks! I gave it a google....looks interesting. How far along are you now? I'm 16 weeks today

[quote spttc]@AIC2015 I actually don't know anything about it. Iv seen people talking about Ramsay theory aswell....Duno if that's the same thing? I found out so early I didn't have time for theories 😅🤣 9weeks! I gave it a google....looks interesting. How far along are you now? I'm 16 weeks today [/quote]
@spttc I've not heard of the Ramsay theory 🙈 something else for me to google and try haha! I'm 17+3 today so not long to wait!

@AIC2015 I'm not sure how accurate the nub theory and ramzi theories are but it was right for me! Ramzi theory is about where the placenta is located at around 8 weeks so only works with early scans. I sent my 8 week and 12 week scans to the nub technicians and both times they said girl and it was confirmed to be a girl in my last scan. Hard to say how accurate it is as there is a 50/50 chance but it's a bit of fun and ended up being correct for me!

@Luckymamma we are due date twins!

Ramzi theory is supposed to be 97% accurate. Was told by the Nub Techs I'm having a girl based on it, as my placenta is on the left!

Morning everyone!

I was tempted to post this in the AIBU area but I already know I'd probably end up getting some not very nice comments so I hope you guys don't mind me just keeping it in here. I guess really I just wanna know some other pregnant ladies opinions on second hand stuff for their first baby but I'll explain my situation. This is our first baby and so we're having to get absolutely everything needed for a baby, which is obviously very expensive. We do both have decent jobs but we're also getting married next year, so with a baby and a wedding happening in the same year we're trying to be really careful with money. My partner has this morning told me that a woman who goes to his gym has messaged him saying she's clearing her house out and has lots of baby stuff that we can have for free. Things such as car seats, grow bags, clothes, and some other bits and pieces that I can't remember. This would obviously save us a tonne of money but for some reason the thought of it has just absolutely filled me with anxiety. I feel so uncomfortable bringing a load of baby stuff from this woman into our house before we've even bought anything ourselves, which I know is ridiculous but I just feel so stressed now. We don't know this woman, I've never met her or spoken to her and my partner only has her on social media through saying hi to her at the gym. We've never been to her house, never spent any time with her, know absolutely nothing about her or her children and I don't know, I feel weird getting so much baby stuff from her before we buy anything/are given anything from our own family and friends. I have no problem with second hand stuff from people I actually know, but this just feels so strange. I do have terrible anxiety though so now I'm stressed because I feel as though I'm being completely irrational and I know my partner thinks I'm just being awkward. As far as I'm aware her youngest child is about 4, so I have no idea where or how any of the stuff has been stored since then. Am I being completely insane about this?

@Kayl23 we are higher earners also, but getting everything second hand that we can. Most of it is from friends or friends of friends, but I've loads of baby clothes in boxes already, and getting the new born pack for the buggy and a breast pump even second hand from my friend. Only thing I'd not get from a stranger would be car seat and mattress, would want a trusted person to assure me the car seat hadn't been banged etc. Everything else can be taken apart and machine washed pretty much.
I don't think there's a problem with it at all, and doing it mostly for environmental reasons here

Plus I'm guessing anything you don't like / doesn't wash up well you can just donate on?

@Kayl23 I've had loads of clothes from my husband's colleague which felt odd because I don't know them and I haven't bought anything for baby myself. Someone at the gym is a whole new level though! With a few other people offering stuff we've come to the conclusion that a lot of people see someone having a baby as an opportunity to clear out their crap and get someone else to dispose of the stuff they don't want any more whether or not it's in good condition.

If you don't want to accept anything from this woman then don't. I don't think you even need to give an explanation or you could say you want to enjoy picking things out yourself for your first baby. Certainly you can't have a second hand car seat anyway.

Hi @Kayl23 I understand your feeling with 2nd hand stuff!
We are also high earners and have no big money issues but I will take a lot of things second hand, just because it seems a waste of resources to buy everything new! And most newborn stuff are barely used anyway...
The only thing I would not buy second hand is the car seat, but if some trusted friend gave it to me saying they had no accidents, i would take it!
At the same time I agree that it sounds a bit odd to get so many things from a 'stranger' - you can always ask her to first have a look at the things she is offering and then decide! Agree with @thecapitalsunited that many people just can't wait to get rid of baby stuff, so it would make sense to check first the stuff to make sure it's not crap, and that you like it! You don't know this lady so you have no friend to lose 😬😅

@Kayl23 you are definately not being insane. I feel the exact same way. I actually had an offer of 2nd hand stuff and I politely declined. For many reasons. It's my first baby. I intend to have more babies. So although I have to buy everything this time around I won't the next time! I'm 35, we have been working our whole lives & it's not a financial worry to buy all new stuff. I also intend to be very sensible in my purchasing - good quality items & only the necessities - no gimmicks! Literally the bare minimum. Due to Covid I just feel safer to have brand new stuff. A lot of toys/walkers etc etc I feel are plastic, electronic, etc. I intend to buy mainly wooden more sustainable toys & pass them from child to child. I don't want plastic toys, it's just my own preference.

Agree with @thecapitalsunited when she says people see a new baby as an opportunity to clean out their crap. I don't want crap in my house 😂 I also agree that it's perfectly polite to say it's your first baby....you want to choose everything fresh for yourself, and have the experience of doing that with your husband, Mum or whoever. That's what I said to my friend. She's a really good friend so she totally totally understood & actually agreed that she had felt the same when she had her baby.

If you feel uncomfortable saying no at this stage: take the stuff....go through it, if it's not for you....local charity shop would be delighted. If you know you don't want things like car seats, mattresses etc just say that up front and only take the categories you think you might like.

Another one here who is keen to do toys/clothes second hand or borrowed. Car seat and nursery furniture I want new but only from the accident and fresh mattress perspective. Friends who have had babies are lending me various bits an pieces. I plan to keep a record somehow of everything that is borrowed so I remember who to return it to!!

@Kayl23 I agree with the others, this person is probably looking to have a clear out of their own home and thinks they are being helpful.
Although 2nd hand stuff from someone you know less well could come in handy as they're not going to find out if you didn't end up using their moses basket, clothes, toys etc and you end up donating them on instead.

I'm expecting my first baby and fully on board with second hand (not least from an environmental perspective) and will happily take from wherever/whoever is offering for all but the carpet and mattress, but totally understand your perspective too. It's not unreasonable, so do what you feel most comfortable with.

@Kayl23 I do have to say I was also worried to get a lot of crap, as I also want nice and specific stuff that's good quality, natural materials etc 😅 Have to say what I've received so far is lovely, the clothes are almost new and perfect and made of bamboo or cotton, many still have tags on, and the cot is fine and pretty attractive. Toys - preference for wooden ones here also (although my nephews have put together a bag of their favourite (plastic, noisy) toys for the baby 😂 I will take those as they're from my nephews and they're excited.

The buggy I've already selected (and will buy new) so the newborn pack and car seat I'm getting donated matches that. I wanted a specific one that folds down into a tiny bag for travelling, and so wouldn't compromise on a different one even if it was free.

As others have said, only keep what you want. And still get some bits that you want to buy and select yourself

@Kayl23 I will be getting mostly new, but predominantly through not having a choice. I don't have any kids in my family younger than teens, so those who have kids got rid of their baby stuff years ago. I am also the first in my friend group to have a baby, so unfortunately no one I would trust / available to borrow second hand bits from anyway. Given the opportunity though, I would definitely get bits second hand (bar the car seat and mattress as everyone is pointing out). Also, I don't think I would really trust anything from fb marketplace or anything of the sort, purely because I wouldn't know them personally / how the items have been treated and used / stored etc.

We know we want a few babies anyway, so even though it will be an expense for us to get new first time around, I know it will be put to good use and get moneys worth from. However, I will be doing the same as @spttc , being sensible with purchasing, not getting anything unnecessary etc. I will be getting most bits when they come on sale / or from a clearance outlet, and I won't be getting a lot of clothes, other than the basic amount - I know we will be getting clothes from family and friends, and also they grow out of them so quickly apparently!

So yeah, in your situation, I would say maybe use things that can be easily cleaned etc, but get new for others.

Agree with @expectinglittlebear ..... Make sure what you get is EASILY CLEANED. Nothing with nooks & crannies as even if it's coming from the most spotless pristine home let's face it....it's been drooled on or worse. It's kids stuff 😂🙈😬

@spttc @expectinglittlebear I am also on board with the wooden toys and keeping baby items to a minimum! This is at least my main goal, I know it will be difficult in practice due to people buying gifts and random stuff for us, but I am trying to give (not so subtle) hints that I don't want any plasticy sh*t around the house for as long as possible 😂😂

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 how did you go about choosing the pram? Since we are (in non covid times though) frequent oversea travellers I has also been looking at prams that fold into cabin size, but I feel like this is not a huge advantage but just another thing to carry on the plane (in addition to bag an baby)...? So I am looking for something compact but not necessarily super small... Any advice? Also not sure if I want/need the carrycot for the newborn stage or go with a lay flat pram (or one with a seat that converts to bassinet)... I know it is early but I like to have my ideas clear ahead of times 😬😂

@EsseKey there was SO MUCH choice it was overwhelming!

I'm going for the Yoyo. Just because I live in central london, it only weights 6kg so it's easy for the tube and stairs etc, we travel a lot (in normal times) and my sister always found it a huge faff checking in the buggy at the gate, then waiting for it the other end, and it invariably got a bit scuffed up/dinged etc. Also have noticed in my area a lot of my neighbours all seem to have the Yoyo and a couple of my friends (we mostly live in flats), and all who I've asked has said it was brilliant. If I lived somewhere with more off roading, a bigger car and a bigger home, I'd maybe go for something sturdier. The criticism of it has been smaller wheels, not so good on bumpy country paths. Would prob use a carrier for hiking anyway so for us wasn't a dealbreaker

@EsseKey Yeh the random gifts 🙈 Thing is any of my friends or family who have children. I ALWAYS ask them if it's ok to buy things for their child before doing so. I make a point if it....I send a photo....would this be suitable for (insert child's name) birthday? Or is there something that would be better? So then they know the price range of the item and can either respond with yes that looks lovely or no this would be better & then send me details of something similarly priced that works better for them. THEY HAVE ALL THANKED ME FOR DOING THIS. All really appreciated it. So I'd imagine they will do the same for me 😂 i am quite determined to keep my house plastic crap free. Here's hoping.