Second pregnancy and shitting it- a support thread

[Sleeplessem]

If you feel nervous about having your second/ third / fourth baby this is the thread for you.

I’m currently 15/16weeks with my second and have been having moments of worry and it turns out I’m not alone, so me and a few other ladies thought If we put a thread together we could chat, reassure or maybe even giggle about all the things we are feeling!

Hopefully this will help some nervous mummy’s to be

@peachee

@Bluebell56

Hey I'm not so nervous but I'd like to join in 😊 this is my second child with a age gap of 11 years (bit of a biggie for me)
I'm 16 weeks and three days 🥰

Would you mind if I join in/ follow along? I’m 26 weeks with number 2; DD will be almost 3 when I’m due.

Really worrying about what it’ll be like with 2 on my own once DH goes back to work, as I have no family help locally (well no family help at all really as mum isn’t well and no siblings). I’m lucky in that DH is part time, but the days he works are really long ones and I have no idea how to do bath and bedtime for DD while also holding the little one. Everyone else I know with 2 said they’d never been alone to do bedtime!

Me me me. I'm 23 weeks with no.2. No.1 is about to turn 3 and no.2 will be born in the autumn. I'm anxious but to be honest mostly about the rest of pregnancy and birth! I found my birth traumatic and I hate pregnancy, I have had HG both times which takes over the first half of pregnancy and this time I now seem to rapidly be getting PGP which I didn't even have first time around and I'm catastrophising about how much worse that could get given I have another 4 months to go! I've also been trying to get in touch with my midwife for about 3 weeks and no luck, feel like the care this time is non-existent even despite my history of mental health problems. Sorry for the moan just feeling quite low and stressed

@jadel16 of course glad to have you!

@CaptainWentworth I also have no reliable family around, and I’m really worried about that too!

@MeadowHay oh don’t be sorry sweet pea, that’s why I put the thread together so we don’t have to feel alone and can have someone to talk to!

I’m hoping we can all support and reassure each other. Pregnancy and motherhood can be so isolating and we shouldn’t feel alone ❤️

Hiii all! :) finally found the thread !!!

Soo I’m 31 and 22 weeks with baby number 2 (another boy!) I’m due October 10th my DS will be 21/22 months when the baby arrives.. also thinking how to negotiate bath and bedtime with a toddler and baby.. DP works early/lates alternate weeks so will have to get something in place quite quickly.. have asked for an ELCS so also have the recovery of that to think about.. arghhh haha!!
We will have to throw some top tips/ideas that we can think of.. so far I’ve thought about buying a bath support so I can both at the same time instead of using a separate baby bath.. no idea whether that is going to be a good idea or epic fail.. can’t wait to see my little ones reaction to having a baby in the house! X

I'm 35 weeks and my little boy is 1 on the 15th of June! Very much a suprise!! We did want to start trying in March but accidentally conceived in October instead.

We're due to move house in the next couple of months, only a 20 minute drive from all my family but I'm currently about 500 yards away so I'm a little nervous!!

Ahh babyt we were looking to buy a house but now I've got cold feet about moving anywhere other than this immediate area because likewise we live like a 5 min walk away from my DPs and DB, 10 min walk away from DSis and 5 min walk from nursery. Plus also absolutely loads of things in easy walking distance here for when baby comes like cafes, shops, parks, churches, children's centre etc. Problem is prices have rocketed here and I will only get SMP so probably too late now, think we will just have to sit tight and continue saving for a few more years and hope that we don't get priced out .

I'm considering an elective too Peach as I had a horrible first birth but I just dunno what to do for the best. Ideally I'd rather have a straightforward vaginal birth in a pool with no/minimal tears...but who doesn't want that hah?!

I’m 17 weeks with my second and I’m way more anxious this time around.

@babyt2020 similar situation here, dd will be 26/7 months when baby2 arrives. We weren’t planning on trying or at least not preventing until Oct this year, yet fell pregnant in March

What’s worrying you @LittleBlackCat22 xx

I think I’m just a lot more aware of what can go wrong this time, and this baby is planned so I feel like there’s more pressure.

Wahooo!! Love this little thread 🥰

Guys I have a private scan on Saturday to find out the gender, we kept our first a secret and it was such a lovely surprise BUT I guess I fantasised so much about the finding out part. In my head, the midwife would hold up the baby and say congratulations it’s a... and it would be a momentous moment but in fact the baby was born and wasn’t breathing so the crash team were called. I was still on my back as I’d had an epidural so I just listened to these 5 or however many people rush in and shout random lingo and just not hear a baby cry. I saw my mum with her head in her hands crying, my partner white as a sheet. Still no cry and lots of commotion in the end I was like “why is there no crying?!” And my partner said “they’re just sorting him out” and that’s how I found out the gender, such a far cry from how I thought it was going to go. He was taken to NICU, suspected sepsis, scary time. All good now though, so I feel like I want to find out the gender this time as my sort of “control” of that situation if that makes sense BUT we won’t be telling anyone that we know. Sounds weird but everyone’s rly excited for another surprise and I like holding on to the info as sort of “our own”?? Sounds weird when I say it but it makes sense to us 🤣 anyways, super excited and a strange secret to keep hahaha

I’m also getting my first vaccine on Saturday morning! (I know it’s a controversial subject, not here to start a debate or anything just my circumstances in particular mean I can’t protect them fully until end of November should I come into contact with Covid and I can’t bear the thought of leaving my children without a mum or losing my unborn if I catch it in the third tri) but yeah super stoked, I didn’t want to be hiding away for the next 5 months scared for my life 😱

Hiya. I'm just 5 weeks with number 2. I am bricking it. Just waiting for hyperemesis to rear it's ugly head, which started at 6.5 weeks last time. Already gone off food. Everything smells awful and strong. So nice to find this thread. DC1 is 3 and will be 4 when DC2 arrives.

Ugh I had hyperemesis with my both my pregnancies, starting at 5 weeks both times. I managed to keep out of hospital this time though.l and wasn't quite as severely ill, I think because I knew what to expect so I was straight on at my GP for antiemetics and I just had better care from them overall this time (different GP practice). Also I knew from last time what kinds of things tended to make me worse or were helpful and so on. Rowntrees fruit pastel lollies anyone?!? If I were you I'd go straight to your GP to get on antiemetics even if you're not vomiting, there's some research that indicates outcomes are better if people go on them as soon as they know they're pregnant instead of waiting to get sick and that was definitely my experience this time.

I'm undecided about the vaccine. I know it's controversial I hope nobody jumps on me about it eek. I was thinking I wasnt going to get it at all to start with as looking at those risk benefit charts as I'm under 30 and don't have any risk factors (well apart from being BAME but the jury's still out on why that is and I don't work in a public facing job, in multigenerational housing, in poverty or anything). So I dont think the risk benefit ratio justifies me getting it. However now I'm pregnant I know that increases my risk. But if anything I feel more uncomfortable and anxious about getting it whilst pregnant iyswim. So I dunno what to do. I need to watch the Pregnant Then Screwed info thing about it, I've heard that's really informative.

@MeadowHay I was undecided too about having the vaccine. My first was low birth weight and when I read catching covid increases risk of that, I took the plunge. Having a little baby and going through all the growth scans was just so terrifying and I took the plunge. I know it’s quite controversial but at the end of the day you have to do what makes you comfortable right.

@Bluebell56 my gosh you went through it with your first, that must have been so scary. We always find out the sex of the baby and then keep it to ourselves lol. We have very opinionated families that share their (annoying) opinions especially around things like names 🙄 so we just keep it for us, it’s quite nice takes the pressure off

Hi all - I’m 15 weeks today with #2, due December around DD’s 2nd birthday…they could end up with the same birthday!

Your post nearly had me in tears @Bluebell56 that is very stressful. I hope you are ok now I booked a private scan bang on 16 weeks with DD but I’m not totally sure I want to find out this time…although knowing me the temptation will be too strong!

I’ve also booked my Covid jab! At first I was totally against it but after doing my own research much like you I came to the decision the risks of catching Covid in my third trimester (in autumn/winter!) far outweigh the risks of the vaccine so I’ve just gone for it. (That’s totally my opinion - appreciate it’s not right or wrong!)

@MeadowHay I’m literally just coming out the other side of HG now at 15 weeks. Still getting nauseous in the mornings and evenings but at least I’m functioning during the day. I’ve been swimming this week and seen friends - something I couldn’t even imagine doing for the last 3 months!

Anyone else feeling like they have SO much to do before #2 arrives?! I need a jolly good clear out of DD’s baby stuff and deciding what I’m going to keep etc. I feel like I’m running out of space! I just don’t really have the motivation to start anything right now

@MeadowHay I think I remember you from the hyperemesis support thread. Were you there 2017/2018? I found a packet of ondansetron in my cupboard from last pregnancy and it's in date until November! Yay! Will obviously need to go and get more but think GP will be less reluctant to prescribe if I've already been taking it. Serious sickness for me was weeks 8-14. Constant wrenching and vomiting. Lost 10kg in pregnancy. I am almost 10kg heavier this time round and bmi is 32. I have been doing slimming world but now I'm eating what I want before vomiting sets in.

In terms of vaccine, I'm lucky to have had 2 Pfizer jabs in Feb and April.

Forgot @MeadowHay so funny you mentioned fruit paste lollies…I’ve been living off them and had one yesterday of course haha. It’s funny we all tend to be able to stomach the same sort of weird things!

That’s totally fair @MeadowHay and I don’t think anyone could ever put you down for your decision! At the end of the day we’re all just trying to keep our loved ones safe the best we can ❤️. I was a complete no to begin with, I was going to get through pregnancy and not encounter Covid but I then caught a cold and hadn’t felt as shit as that in years. Lockdowns have sent my immune system into the ground 😩 I also am a bit overweight with underlying asthma so I think I was being naive to think I could get to winter without meeting Covid. And I’d be fucked if I did so I decided to do my research, speak to other pregnant women who got it and find out why they did, and make my own decision from there. I found this website pretty helpful, I trust the Royal College of Obstetricians www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/2021-02-24-combined-info-sheet-and-decision-aid.pdf.

I’m now excited at the prospect of not having to hide away, my son is a social little butterfly and I don’t want to take that away from him. But yeah don’t let anyone make you feel like your decision, whatever it is, is wrong!

Also YES @mamaatthegym!! I feel like I have so much to buy and it’s just looming over me and our finances aren’t great 😂 a next2me cot, new chest of drawers for all their clothes (they’ll be sharing until/when/if we move), new bottle bits for when I express/do the magical formula. Going to try breastfeeding but my nipples are on fire at the moment as I’m still breastfeeding the first and I feel like my poor droopy baps won’t be able to keep up 🥲 also unrelated but I also need to buy a new dining table as ours is absolute crud. Most I can get second hand and up cycle I think but even then, the thought of all that effort tires me out.

Has anyone bought any new clothes for the baby? Such a contrast to the first where I had so many bits, I’ve not bought a single item yet and probably won’t until a month before I’m due 🤦🏻‍♀️ feeling disorganised

@Bluebell56 I’ve bought nothing! I’m hoping I can repurpose 95% of things from DD.

What’s people’s thoughts on a double pram/pushchair. Dd will be 26/7 months when baby arrives. For some reason I really hate the idea of a double pushchair I feel like it would be a mare to get out of the car and I’d get stuck going places.

Also…. I’ve not told my boss yet. I’m 16 weeks and I’m just putting it off and off, I know technically I’ve got time but I just can’t find the words to tell. For some reason I feel quite embarrassed, maybe because I’ve had a few funny comments from doctors about the age gap or because I’ve been in my job about 9 months. Someone tell me I’m being crazy to snap me out of it lol