Second pregnancy and shitting it- a support thread

[Sleeplessem]

If you feel nervous about having your second/ third / fourth baby this is the thread for you.

I’m currently 15/16weeks with my second and have been having moments of worry and it turns out I’m not alone, so me and a few other ladies thought If we put a thread together we could chat, reassure or maybe even giggle about all the things we are feeling!

Hopefully this will help some nervous mummy’s to be

Just wanted to say that I really resonate with a lot of what has been said on this thread - I don’t remember being this daunted when I was pregnant with my daughter. This time, I’m just full of anxiety and don’t seem to be able to shake it. A friend of mine (her little one is one week younger than my toddler) has just had her second and is having a really difficult time of it - hearing about it is not making me feel optimistic for what it will be like this time Aaarghh. My 20 week scan is on Friday - thinking about finding out the baby’s sex (my DD was a surprise) as hoping that will start making me feel more bonded. Having a really difficult pregnancy (HG) so far, which isn’t helping. Would people recommend that finding out helps?

Oh yay, so glad I’ve found this! I literally only got positive pregnancy test 2 days ago, am only 3+6 😳

DD is 3.5 so will be 4 when this one arrives. Totally was convinced we were one and done but decided to have coil out 2 months ago and see what happens. It took us 10 months to fall pregnant with DD so wasn’t expecting this one to happen so fast!

First pregnancy was horrendous with HG, then GD and OC at the end so ended up being induced at 37 weeks with 5 days of all the drugs then emergency c section at 37+6 🤦‍♀️

At the moment we’re trying to decide when to tell our DD. When did everyone else tell their older kid about this pregnancy? And how did you tell them??

In the spirit of ‘shitting it’ I have my 20 week scan tomorrow. I have such bad scanxiety ptsd from my previous pregnancy, I’m starting to get twitchy

I’m not currently pregnant but I recognise a lot of the feelings posters had when I was pregnant last year. The icing on the cake was discovering I was having twins!

I had a really tough time with my first and I was dreading having two babies and a three year old, but truthfully it’s easier this time around for me. Although it’s tiring and relentless I don’t have that anxiety or cloud of PND hanging over me this time.

You also find ways and means of juggling- feeding pillows are great to pop the baby in if you’re dealing with an older child. If you’ve had a challenging baby first time round, you have the experience to do it again if the new baby’s like that. If you get a chilled baby it’s a doddle after a high needs first.

Hope this gives some reassurance that it might be better this time around!

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @Sleeplessem. I know the anxious feeling of waiting but I’m sure you will come out feeling relief. Are you finding out what you’re having?

I’ve had a little cry to myself tonight as I think the worry of it all has consumed me but going to have an early night and get some good old sleep (when my toddler isn’t awake during the night) and recuperate.. I’m blaming the hormones. Also attempted to shave my bits (sorry tmi) bump has now obscured any chance of viewing what’s happening so I’m not sure what the outcome is lol x

@Peachee

Good luck for your scan tomorrow *@Sleeplessem*. I know the anxious feeling of waiting but I’m sure you will come out feeling relief. Are you finding out what you’re having?

I’ve had a little cry to myself tonight as I think the worry of it all has consumed me but going to have an early night and get some good old sleep (when my toddler isn’t awake during the night) and recuperate.. I’m blaming the hormones. Also attempted to shave my bits (sorry tmi) bump has now obscured any chance of viewing what’s happening so I’m not sure what the outcome is lol x

Thank you! We already know, we found out through NIPT testing so it’s pretty definite that we’re having a boy.

Haha shaving bits, I should take a leaf out of your book whilst I still can, always gives me a bit of anxiety when you don’t have the greatest vision, painful place to get cuts lol 😂

My early night didn’t go to plan..

I remember you talking about having a boy now. I’m sorry my brain was asking automatic questions.

Hope you’re getting some well earned rest.. let us know how you get on. Xxx

@Peachee shaving bits 😂 hope everyone is doing OK. Thanks @TheMagicDeckchair for the reassurance - 3 year old and twins wow! @WhenShallIShare congrats on your pregnancy and hope you don't get HG again. @MimPimMim how is the HG? Getting any sort of let up? And did you find out the sex?

I'm 28 weeks now and already feeling the third trimester - feel uncomfortable and heavy and bending down and getting off the sofa is already a mission- didn't feel like this this early on last time plus my daughter is constantly on the go - I love her but she's a right monkey!

@Sleeplessem hope your scan went ok today have been thinking of u x

[quote Peachee]@Sleeplessem hope your scan went ok today have been thinking of u x[/quote]
Aw thank you! The scan went well! Completely different experience than with DD. What a relief!

How’s everyone else doing? Xx

Hi everyone

Can I join? I've had a really rough first trimester with morning sickness then musle tremors caused by the morning sickness drugs. My sleep has been awful.

I think all that has triggered worrying about the pregnancy - how I'm going cope with it physically and emotionally. I'm not feeling awfully strong and have waves of emotions - hormones maybe? I keep reassuring myself this will settle but baby 2 is scaring me.

I feel bad just writing that.

Another preggo freaking out over here 🙋🏼‍♀️
With my first it never really even entered my head that things could go wrong. This time I can't stop thinking about it.
I had a big bleed shortly after giving birth last time which has given me the heebie jeebies for this time, and being 16 weeks and still not feeling any movement is driving me insane!

Nice to know I'm not alone though 🤜🏼🤛🏼

Me too! Very early (6 weeks) my son is almost 7

@Sleeplessem glad your scan went well hi to all new people - I'm sorry there are so many of us freaking out but it's also reassuring me that I'm not some terrible mother for all the anxiety I'm feeling about what's to come!

I've managed to strain my pelvis running after DS2 and need to go and get a support belt! How annoying. It's so painful when I move now.

Well.. we’ve bitten the bullet and out our 18 month old in his cot bed with the bed rail in a bid to end the co sleeping.. last night he stayed in his bed but I was up for an hour between 1.30 and 2.30 trying to settle him. I’m starting as I mean to go on and if I have to sleep on the floor in his room so be it.. he’s never been a great sleeper but having two non sleepers is going to be a lot to handle so this has got to be better than the four of us in our room..
Glad the scan went well @Sleeplessem what a relief!
@BertieBotts I hope you’re ok and the belt helps.. I too feel the strain on my body now my baby bump is starting to weigh me down.. agility has gone down the pan.

We put our son straight on a full sized single mattress in his own room when we transitioned him from our bed. I slept in with him for the first couple of weeks until he was used to it, and then stopped and he's been fine ever since. Now in a proper bed. It might be worth a try if you start to struggle 😊

Right girls dilemma!
I have an 18 month old as everyone probably knows as I’ve been banging on lol..
I’ve opted for an ELCS.. so my son will be 22 months when the baby arrives..
How do I get my son who can’t get down the stairs without being carried down.. down in the morning as I can’t lift anything for 6 weeks..
OH works one week of earlies one week of lates so I will be essentially stranded upstairs for the first few weeks. He’s got paternity and leave for 3 weeks but shall I make sure I’ve got everything I need upstairs until later on in the morning when my mom can help? Anyone got any ideas..

Can you teach him to crawl down backwards, or sit on the floor and bump down step by step? I managed to teach DS1 to crawl backwards down stairs by taking him to a local park that had a low toddler slide, I got him to go up to the top then would repeatedly turn him around saying "Feet first" to go down the slide. Sliding down wad fun so he wanted to play this game more and more. Then I just repeated it for the stairs at home.

He might be walking better by then, DS2 got the hang of stairs pretty quickly just holding one hand even though we live in a flat so I couldn't teach him the crawling method. It helps if you have a low bannister he can hold onto as well. Of course it wouldn't be great if he slipped as you'd get his whole weight as a sudden jolt, but better than falling down the stairs.

Thanks @BertieBotts that’s a really good suggestion.. he’s quite good physically so I think he would hopefully get the hang of it and I can help him and then run back up and get the baby.. x

Does DH get 2 weeks pat leave @Peachee? So you’ve got 2+3 weeks or 3 weeks? Is there any way DHs job can be done wfh?

I’ve never has a section so I don’t know if it’s possible but could you as well as teaching him to go down feet first (if that doesn’t work) sort of scoot down the stairs on your bum with him, leave baby upstairs, close the stairs gate when you’re at the bottom and then nip and get baby? My DD is 21 months and our stairs are quite steep but she can scoot down on her bum. She’s gets distracted going up and down them sometimes and clowns around

Ahh that’s good hopefully by that time he might be able to get the hang of coming down. He can go up fine but like your DD he clowns around and sometimes wants me to hold his hand so he can walk up whilst he’s up straight instead of using his hands..
Yeh he has paternity + 7/8 days I think so a week and a half on top.. around 3.5 weeks altogether. He’s a factory worker so can’t work from home. Wish he could it would be such an advantage!

Gtt test tomorrow.. I’m petrified of needles. I’m a right hot mess tonight. You all ok? X

I had to do mine twice because the lab fucked it up the first time

I have got really really good at blood tests though since being pregnant in Germany so I'm OK with that bit now.