Why is everybody so negative about second boys?

[Lenny86]

I recently found out I’m having another boy and I will admit I was a little sad not to experience having a daughter (this is going to be my last child), but I adore my son and can’t see why a second boy would be so bad...I’ve been so shocked by people’s comments....”oh dear, how are you feeling?” “You’re going to have your hands full”, “you can always try for a third”. Just wondering if there are any other boy mums out there who have experienced similar. It’s making me feel a bit down about having a second boy knowing that people feel so negatively about little boys.

Some of my friends have told me that they are purposefully trying to conceive only girls and wouldn’t want a boy. Why are little boys seen in such a bad light?

It's horrible isn't it? I had no preference and some of the comments I got when I has pregnant with DS2 really pissed me off.

It does all come down to rubbish sexist stereotypes and the social expectation that men are to be distant from thier mums so as not to be a 'mummy's boy'.

I love having two boys (although they over eighteen so technically men now)

I have two boys and they are awesome. Currently expecting a third and would be delighted to have another boy. No idea what everyone’s obsession with girls is to the detriment of boys. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything, we watch frozen, we have slyvanian families and I can live out all my childhood dreams 😂

I’m pregnant with my second son too- I’m pleased it was another boy not only because we don’t need to buy anything else but I really hope the two of them grow up as best friends and can hang out and have similar interests etc while being super close to their mum- me 😊

I have two amazing little boys and I’m pregnant with a third. I would have welcomed a little girl this time too of course but having another boy and I don’t honestly feel like people make negative comments that often - or maybe they go straight over my head because I am very happy with my little guys 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think there is a strange obsession with the “perfect” family being one girl and one boy but life would be very boring if we were all the same.

I have two sons, now aged 23 and 19 - they are lovely young men and I feel very lucky to have them. Enjoy your boys as the time goes so quickly and suddenly they'll be grown up. It's cliched but true - I'm adjusting to moving into the next stage which is very ageing !

Some things like, you are going to have your hands full, are just examples of what people say unthinkingly to have something to say. Most people think a healthy baby is brilliant and don't really care about anything else.

I have two beautiful boys who I absolutely adore. Had exactly the same as you when I found I was expecting a 2nd son. My mother in law actually said "oh, never mind" 😲!!!! If given the choice I may have opted for one of each but in hindsight it has been great. They are close in age, similar interests, didn't have to buy any new clothes, bedding, toys etc. They are so different in many ways and have their own personalities. I honestly never even think about the fact that I don't have a daughter. I love my boys and wouldn't want it any other way.

Some of my friends have told me that they are purposefully trying to conceive only girls and wouldn’t want a boy.

What...what does this look like? Do these adult women genuinely believe that they can “try to conceive only girls”? What are they doing, shagging Henry VIII?

Also, who/where did the stereotype that ‘boys are a handful’ come from? Half an hour with my daughter would have thoroughly cured them of that idea.

I have 2 boys and it's fab.
Especially in lockdown having 2 of the same sex has been a god send, they have spent hours playing together and I think 2 brothers have a really special, fun bond.
From my experience ( I didn't find out the gender) people still made comments when number 2 was born about it being a shame, and people with one of each implied they had the perfect set up, now they are older those same people have commented about how much easier life seems with 2 boys in the sense of them getting on, common ground and their relationship. I truly feel blessed to have 2 boys , and there's nothing quite like boy cuddles. Just get ready for a lot of toilet humour and to never be listened to !!!
Ignore everyone your family will be perfect to you - and just think you will always be the princess in your house!!!

I don’t know, I have four and they’re brilliant 💙

Love having two boys! We didn't find out until the birth for both of them and I was really pleased to be honest! I do look at little girls clothes and think omg that would look on a baby girl but I have my friends and families little girls to buy for! When people say anything just say oh I was hoping for another boy brothers and that'll soon make them quiet!!!

I had a few negative comments when people found out I was having a second boy and I admit I was a bit disappointed. However when I watch my two boys play together and see how close they are I am so glad I had 2 boys.

I’ve got 2 boys. I would have liked another!! Comments about ‘trying again’ or being disappointed are just ignorant, rude and fucking annoying. No other explanation for such crass behaviour.

@MiddleParking

Some of my friends have told me that they are purposefully trying to conceive only girls and wouldn’t want a boy.

What...what does this look like? Do these adult women genuinely believe that they can “try to conceive only girls”? What are they doing, shagging Henry VIII?

Also, who/where did the stereotype that ‘boys are a handful’ come from? Half an hour with my daughter would have thoroughly cured them of that idea.

Look in this thread - somebody even posted a method they used - something about ovulation sticks. There’s a method called baby dust where women track their cycles everyday for months to get the sex they “want”. I can’t get my head around it all!

I also saw an influencer post today about how she had gender disappointment when she found out she was having a boy (she already has a girl) and I couldn’t believe all the comments from women who only want daughters. All the local kids my son’s age are so different and it’s an area where most people dress and raise their children in a gender neutral way....but still the comments keep rolling in...the negativity is 95% from women who only have daughters. My husband says he hasn’t received a single comment.

I have two boys and a girl.

My boys were both healthy, my daughter was very very ill when she was tiny and spent months in hospital. At the same time a friend had her second boy and and experienced gender disappointment, it made me furious, all I wanted was a healthy child girl or boy, it showed me it really doesn't matter.

I also saw an influencer post today about how she had gender disappointment when she found out she was having a boy (she already has a girl) and I couldn’t believe all the comments from women who only want daughters.

I sometimes think SM, IG in particular, fuels this stuff re girls.

I have 4 boys so you can imagine the comments I've had!

I have a son (only child) and if Mother Nature allows I would adore (even prefer) another son!!!

@Lenny86 I don’t have boys so can’t comment but I’ve heard apparently girls are harder. Someone always has something to say, ignore the negative haters x

It goes both ways though.

People always have something silly to say. Based in, I don't even know what.

It's normal for men when hearing a man has a female partner and only female children to commiserate with him for being 'surrounded by women'.

Many men with girls make this joke themselves. Ha ha ha. Aren't women and girls awful.

DH has been asked if he's sorry he hasn't got s son.

And the sexism! I've seen plenty of men I know and like have an obvious and large preference for their son/s.

I don't get it at all.

Maybe women get oh no boys as they're female but miss that the men with girls get sympathy from men.

Even more though- if people have different sexes then the order can be 'wrong'. Someone once said the worst thing must be for a girl to have a younger brother. Huh? I mean, what?

I have a younger brother and we got on brilliantly! So I also feel confused when people say great having two boys as they get on so well and have a fab bond. As if opposite sex siblings can't/ don't?

Where do people get all this stuff from?

I have three! Wouldn't change them for anything

I have three sons and just had a girl 23 hours ago. We didn't know the sex and she was quite the surprise! We were expecting a boy (I've always felt like I'd have many sons) and only my youngest son said baby would be a girl right from the start. I've never had anyone say anything stupid to me about my 3 boys. If anyone makes any stupid comments about "finally having a girl" I will look them dead in the eyes and point out that having lost babies, alive was my only preference.

Seeing some of the things posters in this thread have had said to them about their sons makes me cross. All children are amazing and it wholly sucks that people say such idiotic things.

Don't be afraid to call people out about it! You might make them think twice before making such silly comments to others.

Before having kids I didn’t care at all if I had girls or boys, I just wanted 2 of the same.
I had 2 girls, and was thrilled that they were the same sex. Not that they were girls.
After a huge gap I’m now pregnant with number 3 (and definitely final). It’s a boy. I’m not disappointed to be having a boy but I still would have loved 3 of the same (3 boys sounds lovely!)
I just hope my third won’t miss out too much on the sibling relationship his 2 big sisters have. But maybe that would happen anyway with a 9 year age gap.

People are so weird. I am so surprised that these comments are still happening. I have 6 friends with two boys and they are all delighted with their gorgeous boys and don't seem to be longing for a girl.
If it makes you feel better I have one of each and have regularly fended off the comment that I 'won't be needing a third then!'. Um, no I won't but that's because I don't want three children - If I had ended up with two girls or two boys I'd have stopped anyway! Enjoy your boys op.