Why is everybody so negative about second boys?

[Lenny86]

I recently found out I’m having another boy and I will admit I was a little sad not to experience having a daughter (this is going to be my last child), but I adore my son and can’t see why a second boy would be so bad...I’ve been so shocked by people’s comments....”oh dear, how are you feeling?” “You’re going to have your hands full”, “you can always try for a third”. Just wondering if there are any other boy mums out there who have experienced similar. It’s making me feel a bit down about having a second boy knowing that people feel so negatively about little boys.

Some of my friends have told me that they are purposefully trying to conceive only girls and wouldn’t want a boy. Why are little boys seen in such a bad light?

I have two girls and those comments! Two the same is lovely I think. Had my first been a boy, I think I would have (ever so slightly) prefered another.

Thanks so much for all your comments - I am so glad I posted. It’s been lovely and very reassuring to read about all your lovely boys and to know I’m not alone with the negative comments.

Lol at the sleep comments - that’s my only worry about having another boy as all my friends who had boys had so many issues with sleep and all their girls seem to have been much easier by comparison....but I know that’s not always the way, I was the much more difficult child who didn’t sleep (compared to my angelic brother). A healthy, happy baby is all we wanted, it’s a shame people put a dampener on it...but I need to remember it’s their baggage and sexism and I just need to ignore it. Thanks so much

I had two girls and then a boy and I still had disappointing comments!

I was talking about this only yesterday.

With each of my girls everyone was so happy for me, I had many “how wonderful”, “well done” “a beautiful daughter oh congratulations” comments. When my son was horn I felt like I’d got the runner up prize! There was such a noticeable difference. So many comments were negative.

OP my eldest-daughter was and always has been a nightmare sleeper! My son has been a dream in comparison.

There are just certain comments that people trot out unthinkingly and yes, it’s massively rude. I’m expecting twins now and could practically play comment bingo with some of the shit people come out with.

I have three boys and have had lots of negative comments. Some of them just plain rude. It does get hard to ignore sometimes.

I have three gorgeous boys and now have three lovely daughters in law. Sadly negative comments are something you get used to when you have all boys. Good to have a comment you can fire back to stop people in their tracks.
Enjoy your families whatever you are lucky enough to be given xx

Yeah it works both ways.

As soon as I found out I was having a second girl everyone kept asking if we wld try for a boy!

I am still very much hearing folk say oh U think Ul have another, try for a boy etc. Oh ur husband must have been so disappointed etc. Some nice ppl did say oh that's lovely 2 girls and they can be great friends/company for each other. Youngest 2 this year and I think I'll be hearing this until I'm too old to have anymore 🙄

I have two amazing boys and in some ways that is something we chose as they are adopted. People have the most ridiculous pre-conceived notions about how kids should be/are going to be.

Congratulations ☺️💙 I’m pregnant with my first baby (a boy). I’ve always got the feeling that I’d be a boy mum, I have never been more sure of anything than I was when we went for the gender scan. There just seems to be something about people when they see a pregnant person they think they can say whatever they like, even if it’s hurtful and insensitive 🤔 People literally open their mouth and just let the first thing that comes to their mind come out, purely because you’re pregnant! They comment on every single aspect of it, even what you look like! I saw Kimberley Walsh was in OK saying she’s having a third boy and she’s had people asking if she’s disappointed. How sad for someone to ask that! There are very sick babies ill or dying before/after birth and when someone does have nice news, they’re actually making negative comments about it when it’s actually brilliant that you have a lovely healthy baby. The gender is equally great whatever one it is!

I love and adore all of my children, one boy, two girls. All of them have very distinct and different personalities. My son brings me joy every single day and if one of my daughters had been a boy I would have been just as thrilled to have two boys,
I think people perhaps want one of each and project these feelings on?

I have 2 boys, 4 and 6, and it is honestly the most amazing thing in the world. They have the same interests and are best friends. It makes me so proud and also makes parenting easier.

It's so upsetting. My friend has three boys and someone said to us about her, "Oh, what a shame it's another boy and she's not having a girl like you. Well done you." I was so gobsmacked I couldn't think of a word to say, and I wish I'd been quicker on the uptake and said something back.

A (childless) friend "warned me" against having a second boy because apparently mothers of all boys are haggard and sexless and their husbands fall out of love with them. Sorry, I meant EX-friend...

Sometimes people are just making banal conversation ("Ooh, another boy, you'll be tired out!") but often they say incredibly hurtful things. I was really wounded by all the "pats on the back" I got for having one of each, like my three-boys friend was being lazy or irresponsible for not making sure she had a girl! Our eldest isn't a boyish boy at all. He's a soft, gentle little thing. People can be real twats about not having the picture perfect family of one boy and one girl spaced exactly the right distance apart.

I have two boys (currently pregnant with a third baby but too soon to know boy or girl)

My two boys are AMAZING

They are so close, so funny, would do anything for me. I know as I get older they’ll be so protective of me, they already are! Two boys are amazing to see together, congratulations!! I absolutely adore mine x

I think most (not all) women want girls and most men want boys. In fact there is a wealth of research to show that men are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.
My DM was 'gutted' when DS2 was born. She wanted a GD. I've never forgiven or forgotten.
18 years on and what time has taught me is that for us, two of the same gender close together has been absolutely the best outcome.

Comments like this are quite common, eg I when I was having a girl after two boys

But having boys and a girl I think they are equally ace. Maybe if people don’t have any boys and are not sure what to expect boys get a harder time.

When people find out you are pregnant they just seem to think they can say anything to you. It's quite odd. I'm only 13 weeks and already people keep asking me what I want, I've starting telling them I hope it's a puppy 😂

Are they?

Anyone who has a boy knows just how fantastic they are and how wonderful it would be to be blessed with two. Ignore them.
Anyone who has a girl knows how fantastic they are and how wonderful it would be to be blessed with two. Ignore them.

Why on this green earth does anyone care so much about the sex of other people’s children?

Please tell these people how rude they are. I have 2 boys and I love them both equally and love there relationship with each other, what fun they have together. They may both be boys but they are two completely different personalities. I'm having a 3rd baby and I am fed up of people telling me I want a girl! I just want a (fairly) big family, this will be my last! I'd like a baby who sleeps really well, sex doesn't matter and I'm so fed up of people who assume it does!! Enjoy your boys!x

Ignore anyone, I have two boys and it's wonderful and wouldn't change it for the world! If I ever had another I'd love another boy

I think that comment about woman wanting girls and men wanting boys is utterly bizarre! Not something I've ever been aware of, I'm sure there are plenty folk who just want children and the sex is irrelevant!

When DS2 was really tiny (about 10days old) I went to an NCT coffee morning. The woman who opened the door (not her house) said "oh, such a shame. But you'll try again for a girl?" and it was all I could do not to lamp her with the car seat. She had never got over having 2 boys. I now have 4 DC (B, B, G, B) and they are all splendid.

I wasn't bothered one iota whether I was having a boy or girl with each of my 3 pregnancies-all boys as it happened.

I did get the 'bet you wanted a girl' comments with dc3 which I quickly shut down with a 'nope happy with my perfect little boy thanks'

Also had an elderly gentleman tell me I was a 'clever girl'

I have 3 boys and they're all ace! When they were little, I used to get a lot of 'sympathy' about what a handful they are and how I must be so sad to not have a girl. I'd honestly never had a sex preference for kids and still don't (& would equally love a girl as much if I'd had one) but my boys are truly brilliant and I'm so grateful to have them.

The tip is. Use an ovulation kit and don't have sex til you see the smile face. Everyone I know and my self included have girls from this method. I have 2 girls and have used 2 ovulation kits.