Did the midwife just let slip my babies sex?!

[backacheandleakyboobs]

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!!!

I’m close to 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I haven’t found out the babies sex as we wanted to keep it a surprise.

I had an appointment today at the antenatal clinic for a consultation following my growth scan I had on Tuesday. Whilst the midwife was finding babies heartbeat with the Doppler she said “and you’re having a little boy aren’t you”. I said “I don’t know we were waiting for a surprise” and she kind of stalled and said “ah well it doesn’t matter what you’re having as long as they are healthy”.

On a phone call last week the midwife referred baby as “he”.

So I called my husband and told him I think
I know what we are having and he said if I know - however I said I will tell him face to face when he gets home from work tonight instead of on the phone and I might do a little gender reveal 😂

When I got home I called the antenatal clinic as thought I’m here now I might as well confirm and the receptionist said “oh I’m so sorry that happened, you are taking it surprisingly well” then put me on hold and a midwife told me it would have been a figure of speech as babies sex is never recorded and unless a sonographer me, they wouldn’t have a clue and the midwives always will use “he” or “she”. I said she specifically said that I’m having a little boy but I felt like she was playing it down.

I don’t know what to think now!!! What does everyone else think? Does anyone know if it’s true that nothing about the gender is recorded?

At the end of the day all I care about is that my baby is healthy and I don’t mind what we have, girl or boy, but this is just not the way I wanted to find out if so 😭

I was told by a consultant that a baby's sex is not recorded on any documents. That was five years ago but I can't see that it's changed.

Yeah, I had a midwife and the ultrasound technician do that to me. I think they get a kick out of it. There's literally no other reason for it.

The babies sex is not recorded on anything the person conducting the ultrasound will tell you in the room but won't record it anywhere. I've had 7 scans now and not found out, sometimes the midwife calls it a she, sometimes a he.

A midwife did this to me - it didn’t matter as I already knew he was a boy due to the harmony test but I did think it would have been a bit off if I really didn’t want to know!

The baby’s sex wasn’t recorded anywhere on my notes - I don’t think they would put in in writing and implicate themselves in case it was wrong.
I think the only time they could let slip was during an actual ultrasound if they saw the genitals; a midwife would have no way of knowing at a normal antenatal appointment.

@TheWaif it's so gutting isn't it. I mean, yes I'm happy whatever I'm having but it's just not on. Were they right?

I was told the gender's baby isn't recorded when I had booking in last week, and that they'll use "he" or "she" as defaults throughout the pregnancy as they don't like using "it".

So they referred to my baby as "he" even though I'm only just over 6 weeks, and it's not even possible to know yet

There's a 50/50 chance that she's right, but it doesn't sound like she'd know, so it seems like she's got you mixed up with someone else.

@rbetty I think you've missed what I've written, they've referred as "he" before but specially said today "you're having a little boy aren't you", which can't be mistaken?

I've heard people tend to say 'he' instead of saying 'it' but to actually say 'a little boy is odd.

It’s most likely a figure of speech, my dc never had their sex put on any notes.
She also didn’t say that you are having a boy, it sounded like she was chatting and maybe mixed you up with someone else who is having a boy.

It's not recorded anywhere. The "you're having a boy aren't you" comment would only have been her mixing you up with another mother.

There is literally no way for her to know.

I don't think it is recorded. My midwife told me there is sometimes a difference in the aound of a heartbeat, I think one sounds like a train? I think it's very likely she was just referring to that.

Just to add, this isn't my midwife, it was just a random midwife I've never seen who did my blood pressure and doppler check - she's never met me before etc

@backacheandleakyboobs I read what you said I was just telling you of my experience. I've had 7 scans in 2 different hospitals and they have never recorded the sex. There's a 50/50 chance that she got it right but I don't see how she would know, so sounds like she got you mixed up with someone else.

@TheGirlWithGlassFeet she hasn't even found the heartbeat at this point - I was just lifting up my jumper when she said it

@Aliceandthemarchhare

A midwife did this to me - it didn’t matter as I already knew he was a boy due to the harmony test but I did think it would have been a bit off if I really didn’t want to know!

Midwives see a lot of people, I would just assume s/he mixed you up or thought you'd mentioned it before. My midwife uses s/he and baby interchangeably even though we did find out and know it's a boy. SIL thought it had been let slip by her midwife but similarly s/he was used interchangeably.

She doesn’t know. She might have confused you with another of her ladies who has told her she’s expecting a boy.

It’s probably the heart beat. It’s often said that a boy sounds like a train and a girl like a galloping horse. It’s not definitive though and the sex won’t be recorded on your notes so there’s no way the midwife actually knows what you’re having.

I would assume that she didn't know but she thought you had told her you were having a boy at a previous appointment, hence the question, "You're having a little boy aren't you?".

If she knew from your notes, why would she ask it that way?

Although some studies have found that boys have a lower average foetal heart rate than girls (others haven't found any link) so I suppose she might have been testing the theory. It would be a strange way to phrase the question if she was asking to find out the sex of the baby though. Surely she would just ask what sex you were having if she didn't know herself?

She's just making conversation and definitely got you mixed up with another woman. Don't worry about it

I haven’t had my 20 week scan yet and my midwife says ‘he’ when referring to the baby 🤷🏼‍♀️

@chesirecat99 this is a midwife I've never met before, was literally a midwife the consultant asked to take me to a room to do my blood pressure and doppler. She said this as I was lifting my jumper up before the Doppler even touched my belly

She wouldn’t know the sex- it’s never written on scan reports or notes. She probably got mixed up. I only know if women tell me and then I forget!

Perhaps she muddled you up with someone else she has seen or has a similar name , and already knew the baby's sex , they see a lot of mums .

Don’t read too much into it. Midwives say some bonkers stuff. I had one who thought we had IVF. We hadn’t. Another who said my bump was definitely a boy it wasn’t...