Did the midwife just let slip my babies sex?!

[backacheandleakyboobs]

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!!!

I’m close to 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I haven’t found out the babies sex as we wanted to keep it a surprise.

I had an appointment today at the antenatal clinic for a consultation following my growth scan I had on Tuesday. Whilst the midwife was finding babies heartbeat with the Doppler she said “and you’re having a little boy aren’t you”. I said “I don’t know we were waiting for a surprise” and she kind of stalled and said “ah well it doesn’t matter what you’re having as long as they are healthy”.

On a phone call last week the midwife referred baby as “he”.

So I called my husband and told him I think
I know what we are having and he said if I know - however I said I will tell him face to face when he gets home from work tonight instead of on the phone and I might do a little gender reveal 😂

When I got home I called the antenatal clinic as thought I’m here now I might as well confirm and the receptionist said “oh I’m so sorry that happened, you are taking it surprisingly well” then put me on hold and a midwife told me it would have been a figure of speech as babies sex is never recorded and unless a sonographer me, they wouldn’t have a clue and the midwives always will use “he” or “she”. I said she specifically said that I’m having a little boy but I felt like she was playing it down.

I don’t know what to think now!!! What does everyone else think? Does anyone know if it’s true that nothing about the gender is recorded?

At the end of the day all I care about is that my baby is healthy and I don’t mind what we have, girl or boy, but this is just not the way I wanted to find out if so 😭

Why don't you just check your notes. If she was a midwife you had never met before, the only way she could know is if its recorded in your notes.

I’m a midwife. The sex isn’t written or recorded anywhere that the midwife could see and you couldn’t. She probably said “little boy” because she thought she’d seen or asked you before and got muddled. I promise you she doesn’t know the sex if you don’t.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I literally have nothing recorded in my notes - since day one. My app has absolutely nothing in them except for my appointments - any glucose tests, heart beat, fundal height etc etc all missing

You're ignoring everyone saying sex isn't recorded anywhere and that the midwife probably mixed you up with someone else. Perhaps you just do want to know? Babies sex simply isn't written somewhere and you don't know. You get all your notes and print outs put together which you keep! It's just not possible.

I wanted to know both times and it wasn't recorded anywhere they just told me verbally during the scan.

I had a MW who was convinced I was having a girl so referred to it as she throughout, in fact everyone's as convinced I was having a girl - we didn't find out in advance
I had a boy - I only have boys
I wouldn't read to much into it, she may have mixed you up with someone else who does know - similar history / notes
DH who reads ultrasounds for a living (another specialty) was convinced he had glimpsed that we had a girl on our last baby by accident .... he was wrong!
Until they come out nothing is certain.

She doesn't know then. She's either getting you mixed uk with someone else, or she's just asked a question, albeit in a very strange way. The midwifes who did your scan are very unlikely to remember the sex of your baby AND pass on the info to other midwifes.

I'm another midwife. If you have requested not to know, then it won't be recorded in your notes anywhere. I can almost guarantee that she has mixed you up with someone else, and was making small talk. I jump between he or she when parents don't know as I don't like to use it, and I am rubbish at guessing. I hope that you can take assurance from myself and others that it is unlikely that this midwife has accidentally disclosed the sex of your baby.

I agree that she has mixed you up with someone else.

The midwife wouldn’t know from the notes.
I wonder if she just got you mixed up with someone else

[quote backacheandleakyboobs]@Tiredmum100 I wouldn't say I'm reading too much in to it - the fact it was said loud and clear "you're having a little boy aren't you" when I've gone 31 weeks without finding out, decorated a neutrally decorated nursery and so on and if I was going to find out would rather my husband be there too. It's quite disappointing that after the amount of scans and consultations I've had (I have GD) that this is how I've found out. I'm sure you'd feel a bit disappointed too (to add, not disappointed in the gender, I'm happy either way). [/quote]
But practically everyone is telling you that you haven't actually found out, it isn't possible for her to know. Why ask if you won't believe the replies?

My DH looked very shifty at our last scan (38 weeks) and muttered that he'd seen something on the scan and knew the sex. I was surprised, as the sonographers had always been so good at telling us to look away when they got even close to a revealing shot. He said no, it was written at the top of the screen. I had to gently point out that it was all MY details written at the top of the screen ...

If it's not in your notes (and reading the umpteen messages, it won't be) and she hadn't put the Doppler on you at that point then she can't know. She's not psychic. How do YOU think she knows? If you've not requested to know, it's not in your notes, and she hadn't scanned you at this point then there is literally no way she could have known.

My sonigrapher said she at 13 week scan. I didn't think much of it which is just as well because I had a boy.

I don't think she knows op. If baby is a boy it was just a lucky guess - 50% chance of getting it correct.

decorated a neutrally decorated nursery

Oh lord. Imagine if a girl got blue in her nursery! Or a boy pink!!

You're reading far too much in to an innocent comment. It's not recorded in your notes. She would have gotten you confused with someone else.

I've pregnant with my third and have noticed midwives and doctors interchange what they say. My last midwife appointment she kept saying 'she' and even 'little girl' but she couldn't know. The midwife before kept saying he!

OP you need to listen to PPs here. I used to be a sonographer, there is no way it would ever be recorded anywhere. As soon as you leave your scan it's forgotten.
As PPs have said, she's obviously got you mixed up with someone else, don't read anything into it

@GingerFigs well funnily enough it's only until today after writing this post I've found out they don't have anything noted on their systems HENCE why I wrote the post otherwise I'd have not bothered. Silly me for thinking that something like the babies sex was recorded, not a exactly deluded thought

Sounds like she might have done. Put it this way - she has a 50% chance of being right.

(By the way, having a boy is great )

How on earth could she know that. She obviously thought you had mentioned it to her previously. You are overthinking it.
Your comment to @Runway made you sound like a dick , so maybe you overreact to stuff generally.

How would the midwife know?

In both my pregnancies the midwife referred to the baby as he. I didn't know what I was having. But they explained that they said he rather than it. They were clear that they didn't know.

I had 2 girls.

I don't think it's recorded anywhere. A friend of mine didn't want to know what her baby's sex was, one midwife referred to it as "he" after her scan and she was convinced the surprise had been ruined. Her baby was a girl 🙂

[quote backacheandleakyboobs]@Runway imagine it Mumsnet without idiots like you on here, ahhh just imagine it!! [/quote]
That is so out of order, op . You've made yourself look a far bigger idiot than you claim Runway is with that crack.
Embarrassing for you.